This picture was taken after Nagumura's goal. It was from range indeed. A good 25 yards out. What a cracker of a goal. The MLS teams are still getting their asses kicked in the Open Cup. They refuse to play their A teams so they can protect their investments. Not me though, I am out at applebees and out with friends on a Wednesday. It has been bananas. I felt I put in a good effort yesterday. Went beyond uncomfortable and did my best in all phases. Today I pray I do the same. The Royals won and Moose has been playing well. I thought he was going to suck and Hosmer was going to play well, but it has been the opposite. What a pair those are going to be. Melky Cabrerra is having an MVP type of year for the Giants which sucks because we got a crappy pitcher from him in a trade. I guess it's no use crying over spilt Melk.

Tuesday Wow

Tuesday was your typical up and down day. Going back to work was extremely difficult. I prayed andI really gave an effort to have a good attitude, but in the end it was very very painful. I will give myself credit. I got up and went to work anyway. I am hopeful everytime I suck it up and keep going I get tougher and learn something. So I paid the price by going to work, then it was time for some nonsense. Sporting KC had an open cup game against Orlando. Livestrong Sporting Park wasn't as packed which meaned more space for me to chill and enjoy the great night. Sporting KC had their younger goalkeeper in who looks good. There were chants of "Little Puma" all night Sooony Saad scored two goals, and they won. Naguramora scored an impossible goal in the process Orlando should be promoted to the MLS, they looked strong. Screw a second NY team! At the game were Ryan (the don) Sarah, and Kris Von German. It was a good win, the MLS got killed all over the place in Open Cup play. Sporting KC played most of their starters the second half which made me nervous. I don't want them getting hurt or cut their hand on the video board. Open cup is great and all, but I want an MLS title. So the night ended up well. Sporting KC won on a beautiful night and one I didn't have to stand in line at the restroom.

Ugh

Thank God it's Tuesday. It is a time to show dedication to my craft. It is an chance to be the best Wingman as possible. Speaking of craft. Kraft Macaroni and cheese is awesome. My aunt made macaroni for us on Memorial day. It was burned on top, it was delicious! We also had mystery cheese dip which I ate until I felt awful about myself! My thoughts for today is to keep it simple. For right now I think if I pray for Gods help, and I don't act like an asshole today, that would be a good day for me.

Memorial Day and other randoms

Sporting KC won their game. It was a very awesome time. I really tried to put together a decent tailgate, but some of my friends cancelled. I still put myself in a position to have a great time, and I really did have a great time. My sister, Von German, SGT MORRIS, and I were all rocking the In the Blue Hell. Molly K came out as well, she showed great heart hanging out with us as she barely knows us.The pictures from the game came out decent as well.There was some horrible calls and the Earthquakes goalie smacked one of Sporting's ball boys. The whole game just felt like there was a riot was going to break out. Especially when Zusi was taking down in the penalty box and not only was a PK not awarded, San Jose was awarded the ball back. That was the loudest booooos I have heard for awhile. SKC held on and now they have a break. They do have an Open Cup game on Tuesday so I am looking forward to see how the backup goalie plays. I went to St. Joseph on Sunday and ate 10 pounds of mystery cheese. I played Sonic the Hedgehog with my nephew, I saw my cousin Kristen, and hung out with my dad and watched the shittiest second basement I have ever seen. Irving Falu. This dude couldn't hit, run, speak, hear, he couldn't do shit. He was basically the Hellen Keller of second basemen. He was the Anti-Tom Brokaw. I did enjoy watching the Royals game with Tasha-her kid, her husband, and Reed. We watched a whole game and I always enjoy baseball especially with family. It was a pretty good three day weekend.

Saturday

Saturday I went for a walk. Went and got some food. I walked for 2.5 or so miles. I watched the Royals win, I finished Brutal Legend. That game kinda sucked, but I am pretty happy I finished it. I need to finished some of these video games I bought. The ending stages were actually pretty fun. The game has Scorpions, Judas Priest, Ozzy Osborn, Lita Ford, David Cross, and Lemmy from Motorhead. So it sounded and looked really good on my TV. I did my best to eat decent this day. I had some Goodcents and some veggies. I was pretty sore from working out so I took it easy during the night. I watched the Celtics close out the 76ers, I enjoyed the day off and just relaxed. I was in for a small treat as on Austin City Limits Floggy Molly was on there. They sounded really good as usual. Tomorrow is sporting KC. We should have 6 or so people going, so I hope it goes smoothly, but I can only prepare and then it is in God's hands after that. I plan on tailgaiting and watching them kick some Earthquakes ass. Overall I don't think I have much left to give for today. I wish I could get into going to concerts or go out, but honestly, been there done that a million times over. I find more enjoyment watching Dvd's of music concerts and texting people.

Friday

Tonight was weird. I feel like I pushed myself pretty hard, but I had some gas in the tank at night. I tried to make steps to hook up all of my single friends. I want to be the best wingman as possible. I texted my mom I loved her. I wrote some jokes. I watched more motivational videos. My main focus is to be a good wingman/friend right now. I also like to work out and be as attractive to people as possible. I of course go as hard as I can in work, especially when I am feeling good. The last weeks were so painful, I had to scratch so hard just to get out of bed, I have no excuse to Text everyone, clean all my clothes, and jeep, and of course root on Sporting KC. I like 2 different sayings right now. One is 8/10 times you are going to go through a day and it is going to be normal, normal results, 1 time it is going to suck and everything is going to be hard, on this day, show up and get credit for showing up. On the day you feel good explore how hard you can go, push your limits. I really felt good the last couple days and I really have done everything I could. I also like really exploring if I did everything I could to be a success today. If I feel like I got more in the tank at the end of the night, I need to see if I got something else to give. On a sidenote I go through pain when I try to get people to go to SKC, I want the crowd to be rowdy and full of people I know, but damn people are weird about calling me last minute or flaking. All I can do is do my best to get people there and rooting on Sporting!

Motivation

I have been watching motivational videos, not to go out and change the world, no just to feel good enough to watch more motivational videos. I thought I was going to close down my youtube window the other day, but I pushed through to watch another motivational video. Hello people! By people I mean myself and my dad! What have I been doing lately you ask? I have been preparing for SKC. Sporting KC faces the San Jose Earthquakes this Sunday. It should be a battle. We should have a couple people I know going and being rowdy. SKC also plays in an OPEN cup game on Tuesday and the USMNT plays on Saturday. I went out to Westport on a beautiful night on Tuesday. That was a day to remember for various reasons. Mainly we have had good weather and I have taken full advantage of it. The Royals dropped a couple from the Yankees, but who cares! IT IS SUNNY OUTSIDE.

Patience

People who make mistakes when making decisions are made often cite lack of patience as one of their downfalls to the bad choice that was made.

Friday

Well the last couple weeks have been challenging to say the least. I can either be a wuss or work through and possibly grow as a person. I like to think I have grown. I continue to pray for God's help and for him to show me the way. I waaaaaant youuuuu show me the way...Sorry I just had to sing alittle Peter Frampton there. Yesterday I went to black dog for a bit, then Jay-R, A-bomb, JT went to Saints. I got a girls # pretty fast but she later got mad at me and wanted me to delete it. I am not that upset about it, I keep on getting more awesome and next time I won't question a girls haircut over a text message. Other than that I feel really good this Saturday. I am not in jail, I woke up and went for a walk and now I am actively chilling.

chances to grow

During my day most things don't piss me off. I often have some things that hurt my feelings. It is always something to do with social status, females, money, ambition. I try to write them down and talk about them and not over react. I always feel like when I get hurt it is a chance to grow, often my growing lies within not beating myself up. I am only human and I am greedy, so when I start acting out of greed and I get my feelings hurt, I beat myself up for being greedy. I have to remember I am human and there is the next day and I can try again. The Royals are playing greedy right now, even with Duffy's arm broken in half. SKC needs to get their crap together this weekend, and Martin Rucker signs with the chiefs. Von German and I hang out and he has a new lady friend that hangs out. She is not bad and she wears a red dress. I met a new person out on the town a couple weeks ago, not a great connection, but the game is day to day we will see how it goes. Ok I will wrap up these ramblings with the action I took when my feelings are hurt. 1.) Stop and write about it 2.) Pray about it 3.) Talk about it 4.) From there you can decide if it is acceptance or something can be changed. I can't change people but I can change my attitude.

Saturday and Sunday

On Saturday I woke up went to a business meeting. It was annoying, but whatever. That was the theme of this week...irritating and annoying. I made it through as best as I could. I then went to Lawrence to see my mom for mothers day. I gave her some flowers and talked for awhile. I then drove back ate some chicken and took a nap. It was around 3 at this time and people started calling me to do stuff. I went to Jmurphys and V-Foundation and Byrdman and I were being silly. I was dancing around and just being an idiot. It provided me relief from my life for awhile. I then started to get bored so I went home and went for a walk. After the walk I got hungry and I went to snatches where he was having a get together because he is going to Texas for awhile. The work he put into that house was great. Kitchen table, floor, etc everything looked great. I am so far away from being able to put together a house like that, and you know I don't know if I even want all that, but I can respect it for it's craftsmanship and it's beauty. I had fun driving Bryce and vinnie home and listening to the Lakers. The Lakers beat the nuggets and now face Oklahoma City. That will be one to watch. Today my mind is trying to attack me. I have to write and pray because I come up with these thoughts that try to screw me over. I just am going to keep today simple. Try not to overspend, try to enjoy the Royals, and Relax. I haven't really done overspending this weekend, but I have gone a little crazy lately just because I haven't been in the mood to sit down and see where I can save money. I watch motivational videos on youtube because they make me feel good, one thing comes to mind is I really don't have the drive to make my own company. I have drive, but it is more a drive to get out and write jokes, interact, deal with rejection (male and female), and go for walks. A life where I just grind to get to upper middle class doesn't seem worth it to me, I would rather put my time and energy texting, talking to people, and ranting and raving. Ok Lossen thought this was funny so I will end my blog with it today. "Yeah Mountain Dew had code red and Code blue soft drinks for awhile, the code blue didn't go over well, it was all flat and dead as as hell"

Wow! This week

Well. This week has been challenging. I like to change my metaphors from "This week sucks" to "this week is a challenge" that is how I re-frame my life. I have been sick, people have not been doing good things around me, and I have an overall disdain for life. It is the ying-yang of life. I am just pushing through and getting tougher. I have been keeping a positive mindset for the most part. I know when I feel crappy and I push through days without doing something I regret, then I am growing as a person. My goal is just to have the mindset that ever minute that passes I am becoming better at something. Speaking of which the Royals played the Yankees and the Red Sox tough. Gio should have been up here the whole time, he gets called up and does well. He is a good hitter and I don't know why he was in the minors in the first place. Sporting KC has the Chicago fire this weekend, and I am ready for a win. I don't remember where Nascar is at this weekend but I am willing to bet it is a place where they go fast and turn left.

Sporting KC and a Fun Saturday

Saturday I woke up and went for a walk, then started a long day of gathering food for a epic tailgate. J-rez, JT, Wally, Sarah, Spiritual Cody, everyone I knew was there. My grill worked well! Pork chops, chicken wings, dogs, hot links chips. It was a great time. I talked to some ladies at other tailgates. I kept a strong positive vibe. It was very fun. My parents showed up. It was pretty hot out. I thought if they put some chances home they could have won, but oh well. Sarah proved to be silly and fun as she sat on a foam cooler and it broke and everyone laughed. Sporting played ok I thought. The IMPACT were playing out of their fricking minds. Sporting KC needs a finisher and they can be beaten. I just think it was just one of those games that Sporting didn't bring it that day. I thought they had plenty of chances. Lots of people pushing the panic button but the MLS is a parity league and everyone can be beaten. My mom and dad went to the game and I had fun. Life is pretty damn good. I made sure I had good time because when I think about the things I really have a passion on doing, one of them is def watching Soccer, tailgating, and cheering.

Royals

Moose shows he has big time power with a Homerun yesterday. He hit it 415ft with a wood bad. He is a young pup and in a couple years with good weight training he really does have the skills to have A plus power. He also made a great play to end the game. Hosmer/Moose coming in at the end of the game pumped up was a great sight to seed. It will go to waste like usual if they don't overpay for some pitching. Nice win against the Yankees anyway. Yesterday I went to Black Dog with Jason/Juan/JP it was fun we were in a weird mood. We were out so late on Wednesday and Wednesday was so fun that yesterday was going to be lackluster. My angry woman friend Bekatie showed up and I was like lets go to Perkins. She likes woman so we sat there and talked about woman parts and general things. I mostly ranted and raved about how young guys need to go out and get rejected by a hundred woman or hell a hundred men (Trying to get them as friends) before they can even get a grasp on how many girls how many successful guys are out there. I was saying to her how we are stuck with the friends we have and the girls we are around because we have no ability to deal with rejection. We avoid it at all costs. It was good and at the end of the night I felt good about myself because I kept a decent frame of mind the whole day. My general frame of mind is "Enjoy life because you will be dead one day" It seems to keep me enjoying moments. I really like praying for patience and to keep a frame of mind of giving. I really like to develop my skill of patience because that is were most of my fear/anxiety comes and ruins my day. So trying to always be aware if my patience is getting better really helps me savor my day. Sporting KC this weekend. Looks like harrington will get the start in the backfield. Nervous but excited!

Wednesday

Wednesday started out normal, but I ended up making some people uncomfortable. I walked outside at the black dog and exclaimed "Who wants to go shoplifting with me!" For me people are drawn to semi-evil exciting things. I felt some people mean mugging me, but there she was. One girl bites and comes over all talking to my friends, but really wanted to see what the hell I was about. I gave her a couple of sniper comments "That's non of your business" etc and she was hooked. She seemed ok, just alittle square for my tastes. I like my girls with an edge for sure. Then Jason, John, go out and I start talking to as many people as possible. They sit down at a table of girls I talk to and they kinda squashed any vibe I started with the girls, but later I talked to one of them and she didn't see on the same mental plane as me. I was too much for her like most of my blabble went over her head. I got killed at talking to other people that night, but atleast I got out. Jason got in good with the one and I got the number of the other girl, but it was a def soft number, she seemed more interested in my friend and I am sure there is some other dude in my phone she likes better than all of us. Oh then I see another girl a bunch of my friends used to like riding a motorcycle with this guy, I am like, no matter how much stuff changes girls with tats who drink a bunch are just going to be attracted to the dangerous guy. I also learned if a girl asks a table for a guy where you work/what school only one or two can lie. If everyone lies than you come off like a bunch of clowns. It has to go joke/regular truth man/joke/regular truth man. I instinctively knew when to joke and when to just snipe a truthful comment out, but some other guys were trying the whole bullshitting joke vibe, but it doesn't work when the person before you just lied about going to Harvard or some shit.

Tuesday

Tuesday day and night were both way too much work than what I planned on. I got hot sauce on my hoodie so I had to do laundry right away, I ended up doing an entire load because if the hoodie is going in...the other hoodies are as well. The Royals are dogshit. If you follow Petro's twitter he had great points and it looks like he won't be covering the team for awhile. Hochaver was a #1 overall pick. Just a shitty franchise. Sporting KC had their reserve game yesterday. Pretty funny to see our USNMT rep Teal Bunburry rolling around out there with 17-18 year olds. Oh well we will need him down the stretch and for the OPEN CUP. There are 50 teams most of which not in MLS that will be playing in the open cup this year. I am trying to enjoy everyday as much as possible while working hard. It is a tough balance, but I know the rewards are there when I put in my time and effort into anything. I could go into social theory's right now because my friends and I will get girls around us, but then both parties lose interest because we work and we got our own stuff going on. Also I could write about woman that flake out stand you up. Basicly for all the young pups out there, the only way you are going to grow as a person, grow in your social standing, is when someone flakes on you, give them three chances to meet with you. If they keep flaking you have to set a hard boundry there and dump them. No text, no email, DROP THEM. That is the only way you grow is to go through that pain and take the attitude. This behavior won't be reported. Same thing in business and friendship, if you keep accepting crappy treatment, your life will be crap.

creating moments or slices of life

Being self-aware of slices of life or moments you are creating is important. I like to improv or do "Gorilla Comedy" where I just go up to a "Set" and start yammering until a joke comes. The other day it was at black dog where I spoke to a girl and guy about what their Relationship status is at the current moment. As if it was a facebook update. They were confused and had a moment where they truely had to answer it right there. Talk about a slice of honesty they had to decide what "They" where at that moment. I think they will be fine together because they talked it out and had fun. The dude tried to crush me down alittle bit by saying "I saw you dancing, who you trying to impress" then I came at him with some honesty and tried and true Rayism. Guy who was kinda a jerk, but seemed polite : I saw you dancing who you trying to impress? Raphael: Nothing, I only have 3 hours of this weekend and night, I sure as shit ain't going to be sitting around. I am going to raise the roof off this piece. I could go on and on about how dancing or "shaking it out" changes your state of mind, or gives you something to do until your mood changes, but instead I will just focus on the most important thing about the exchange. I am doing something to improve my state of mind. I am also not impressing, or thinking about impressing people.