New Years Eve

I woke up today. I was in a pretty bad mood. I try to really think about the fact that I live in America and that life is better than being a burn victim, a person with cancer, or a Browns fan. It doesn't really change my feelings that much. I have been working on my attitude all day. I have a horrible predisposition of just bitching and moaning in my mind. I was slightly productive. I paid rent. That is a miracle for a couple of ragtag retired party guys Jason and I. Anyway I am starting to feel better now. I just now a crap attitude isn't good and is exactly how you bring out the worst in people. Anyway I am going to try to just listen to music tonight and blog. I am listening to Metric, Slightly Stoopid, Sublime with Rome, and The Urge today.

Monday

Today I had a goal in mind to work all day on whatever...just be productive. I woke up and I went and worked out. I walked 3 miles and I did biceps. I over trained a bit because at 6 I just started feeling awful. So I will probably stick to around 2 miles a day and some lifting. Anymore than that my body just hurts and I ache...not a good ache either. I applied for jobs. I had an interview for a weekend job at the YMCA and that went well. So I should be able to get a few hours in at the YMCA and give back to the community a bit. They need my social security card. I called up my dad to get that. I watched the KU game with John T. Adam and Jason. They played well and Tharpe had a stand out game. I played grand theft auto san andres at night and that game is old as hell, but I never gave it an honest play because I was busy partying. It is still fun even though the fx are crap. I also played some Top Spin 4. My characters name in Top Spin 4 is Byrd Player 1. It is a pretty fun game.

Diet

Today I had some of those lean turkey sausages that Johnsonville makes. I always eye candy and want a boost, but I am like "I can hold out until the cravings passes" I am such a foodie. I have noticed a difference in some places. I can feel my collar bone sticking out and my legs are skinnier. I also get to talk to my friend matt about nutrition and losing weight or cutting. I told him I started going 20 grams a day on carbs, but eventually I just lost my appetite for meat. It started making me sick. I would go to the Hy-vee salad bar and hard boiled egg whites bacon and cheese. The workers would tell me that "those are toppings, not the main course" In final I think part of the ways that Low carbs help is it just makes you lose your appetite sometimes. I can't eat cookies and the stuff I can eat just doesn't sound good so I will just do something else.

Anyway I have seen a change since going low carb or lower carb. I eat lots more veggies and fruits. I have less energy because I am not smashing snickers bars, my legs are small. It is a challenge just to be happy with the progress I have seen. There is a perfectionist in me that just says...well if I can't be like the dude on the bowflex commercial I mine as well not try. That is a losing attitude for sure. It is about building character on the inside and outside.

Sunday

Sunday Jason and I watched football for most of the day. It was very cold out. A pizza man came to our door. It was not for us. I posted some random pictures online. I am going to post some random pictures of westport right now. wait I guess this is a football picture. My dad is chilling in the stands.


Kelly's then a picture looking down Pennsylvania and then a a picture of what used to be america's pub.

Saturday

Saturday I went to watch UFC with Matt the engineer. It was fun. The female fight was very entertaining. Sunday I woke and I went for a 2 mile walk and did incline bench press. I did tricep. Pull downs as well. Working while still being tired is something I need to work on.

Saturday

I played old school Grand Theft Auto. I went for a 2 mile walk. It was very beautiful out.

Friday

It was 50 degrees out. I was able to get a 2 mile walk. Probably more than that because it is longer from my new apartment complex

Stuff

A couple years back I decided to hit on every woman possible. I decided to get my emotions figured out so I don't have to fear rejection. I still fear rejection, but it doesn't stop me from taking action. Every once in awhile I get a chance to flex my experience. There was a lady in the library that I asked out. She said no and I was able to work through the emotions of the rejections. I also I am making it a point to write down on my blog that I am one of the only people I have ever known that has the balls to ask out ladies to their faces. It is like stepping up to a spotlight on a comedy show. Just have to go in and set the bar low and be happy that you stepped up.

Thursday

Thursday I woke up and walked a couple miles. I didn't lift today. I just made sure I made it to the gym to do some walking. I then went to the Library. You can rent art at the library here. That is weird. I then applied for some jobs. Played some video games. Went to black dog. Jasons car broke down he is trying to get that figured out. I keep on praying and working hard to find a job. I always pray for faith and try to keep a positive attitude. I still have to call my DMO because for some reason they didn't cover my last cleaning. I also have to call coventry because Obamacare hasn't sent me my letter for premiums yet. I get a bit grumpy at night because I am a bit tired and frustrated at the lack of action. I still get used to staying in or just going to black dog. I have to tell myself that quiet nights and staying out of trouble is good for Jason and I. If we keep doing that we and the people around us will have an easier life. I ate berries, eggs, ham, bacon, brocolli, and seeds today. This is day 20 or so without chips, crackers, cake, pies, jams, sugar. So that is good. I think the long term getting away from the bull crap cookies and rice crispy treats is good for me.

Don Jon

Jason and I just got done watching Don Jon. It just shows you how porn and Iphones are driving the sexes away from each other.

Atlas Genius

A nice change of pace. I was able to check out music by Atlas Genius. They sound good in studio. Guitar Sessions are a good way to find out and listen to music.

Random grades for music

Metric Youth without Youth 8/10

Atlas If So Genius 9/10

Christmas part 2

Thank you the elder statesmen for the picture of delicious meat. That is a great way to kick off the holidays. The one thing I wanted to get done this Holiday is get a jacket to wear to interviews. I have a sneaky feeling that people get all judgemental if you don't wear a bad ass dress coat. I was able to make a note and make sure I get a coat from my dads.

Christmas

Christmas went well. I got lots of things that I am thankful for. I did as best as I could on low-carb. I probably went over on the calories, but I didn't eat cake, cookies, pies, crackers, chips. I did eat roast, peas, and brocoli. I was able to go for a couple walks during the Holidays. I did my best and it is my job to be happy about it. I feel tired as hell right now and I might post more later when I get rested.

Monday

I made sure I worked my bench press today. 135 x14 150 x6 185 x2 the spotter over helped me I thought, but I wasn't going to try to get 185 again. Just mine as well take what the lifting Gods have given me. I put the effort to go to the gym and get in the bench and gave it a good run. Can't be obsessed with a new max to the point where hurt myself. I did standing flys and triceps and walked a bit today as well. I ate a salad from hy-vee which was hard boiled eggs with the yoke popped out of them ham chicken cheese broccoli. I need more fiber in the form of broccoli.

Saw a big ass deer today

I saw a big buck today. Huge rack. It was quite an experience. I have never seen one that big before. It was off of Lackman and I slowed down and it stood straight up like on the video game "big buck Hunter" it was cartoon-like big. I was very in awe of it. It ran away.

Friday and most of the weekend

Friday and most of the weekend I was around sugar bullcrap and I avoided eating it. I really don't have cravings, but I just want to feel something different other than bla. there is a deep connection to having a sugar high when I was younger even today. I know I used to use food to change my state of mind. I just have to get through some hours when I feel bla and I get the reward of writing on the blog that I didn't eat sugar or cookies. Long term health and confidence that I can avoid eating bullcrap one day at a time is the reward.

Sunday

So I moved this weekend. It was a pain in the ass. Like like really bad. We couldn't get the couch to fit. We got a new one. I moved all day for a billion hours. I finally got my computer and my laptop set up to work right now. The Chiefs sucked and also the roads the sucked. I am listening to Hollywood Ending by The Urge. That is a good thing. So I feel good overall, but that is because my soundbar and my subwolfer are thumping The Urge. Also Jason has the place looking smooth. My room looks like crap. That is what happens though when you have all my computer and guitar stuff. Pearl Jams Future days is a solid song as well. I probably need to listen to newer bands than those old farts from the 90's


Sometimes I think I have crappy luck, but when I got youtube and every song at my disposal I can't bitch too much.

This was day 17 of low carb. I didn't lift weights today because my arms and legs were sore from moving. I struggled to think of something that didn't seem gross because I have eaten chicken and eggs for 75 percent of my diet. I went to hy-vee salad bar and had chicken/crab/Ham/Broccoli/some beef/eggs again. It filled me up and provided me variety. I had chicken for dinner.

Friday and Saturday

Friday Jason and I had our time honored tradition of "Buy weird shit off of craigslist" We went to black dog. There is a board game called "GO". It is for nerds. I talked to John behind the counter for awhile and it was nice. Sometimes the workers there get sick of our faces and probably get sick of us tipping a quarter. So it was nice to chat with that person. Today we are moving. I have been praying for lots of things. Mostly just to keep the faith that the move will go well and I will find a decent job. On the surface it seems like I got screwed. I remember moving down to Lenexa 9 years ago and I thought I was getting screwed because I had to pay for my own place without a room mate. I realize now life was doing me a favor by making me survive on my own. I guess that is the trick for me of life is taking every situation and try to handle it with class and learn from it. Barry' Grasses music list is out for 2013!

Just when I think I can't like Roger Eberts Blogs any more.

He goes and marries a big black woman named Chaz. Who knew this fat grumpy white guy liked some soul with his women.



Thumbs up indeed

bench.

135 x12 155 x8 175 2x 180 x2

Thursday

Thursday I applied at Allied Data Systems and Cerner. I was able to execute applying for those jobs. Points for me. I met up with Bryce at Mcdonald's to shoot the breeze. He has a small Crabtree like beard. It is pretty sweet. We talked about Suits, work, life, people past and present named Max. I was able to scope out the menu to see what would be low carb. Chicken cheese salad would probably be ok. Mcdonalds for all the shit they get for being healthy, has added something ok to eat. Mcdonalds also has wi-fi and decent coffee for 1.09. I texted my sister to see if she needed me to buy anything for Cortland for christmas and she said nope. I started listen to Roger Eberts autobiography on tape. I was sad that it wasn't him reading it, but he couldn't eat speak or talk for a couple years before his death because of jaw cancer. He has a crisp memory for sure. He couldn't talk at the end but it strengthened his writing. I think he wrote a blog the day before his death actually. I always like the fat critic because he drank a ton and he was fat. He was a bit of an asshole and I can relate to that.

Anyway this has been what I have been eating as of late. 20 grams of carbs in the steam bag of broccoli. I try to stay below 50 but I am not too nazi-ish about it. I eat those greens just to keep me regular as well.

Meals and WTF?

Here is a staple of what I have been eating Followed by a what the fuck? Because I am not sure why chicken gets a D minus. It is high in fat, which you need, no carbs, and plenty of food. I guess it gets a bad grade because it is high in fat, but your body need fat. Whatever I am not going to get pissed about some dumb website.

Lifting

Upright rows...4 sets...Watched heat beat the Pacers. Now watching 3:10 to Yuma.

Applied at Sprint.

Applied for some job at sprint. It was not fun going through another test, but oh well. Did my best gave myself credit and moved on.

Followed up with GE today

I followed up with GE today to see if there was something else I could do to get the job there. I pressed out of my comfort zone pushing further there than I normally would. Lots of times I just say..whatever it wasn't supposed to be, but being old and grizzled I have learned sometimes you have to just push your way into getting jobs. I was nervous talking to people because I rarely push hard to get a job, and when I say rarely I mean this was the first time haha. So that was a new one. Good on me for putting forth effort.

Late night walk 2 miles

Took advantage of decent weather.

This was the situation at black dog.

Cute girl 7 walks in with fashion glasses

"Are you near sided or are those just for fashion?"

Girl: I am near sided but not by much.

Ray: That is good I had a friend that wore glasses for fashion and she went blind.

Girl: Because of the glasses?!!

Ray: Naaa she stared at the sun......alot

Tuesday

Felt like crap most of today. Didn't work out much did some leg presses. Jason wanted to go pick out a new couch for our new place. So we did. We also got to see what the new place looked like. He liked it, which is good. He seemed to be excited. I took care of business, no contacts from job leads yet. Eat veggies on low carb diet btw, they won't kill you. You also have to still have to burn more calories than you take in. I think this is a fact that I am missing (as I slowly eat another piece of bacon)

leg presses 210 x8

walked a mile.leg presses 130 150 170

Monday

I had a job actually go to the second step with me today! Yay. I did my thing. Called power and light to transfer service. Transferred gas services..although weirdly enough it said wait 3 business days for confirmation. I got set up for time warner cable to come over and transfer service. They will be over 2-4 on Saturday. I went for a walk outside. It was ok. I am a bit sore but it was nice. I am glad we have random days that is nice out. Tonight is a meeting then probably coffee. I bought a shower head and again I screwed up drip pans or my stove. I am the worst shopper ever for drip pans. I am going to re-read and listen to Eckhart Tolle's a new world. The Library system in JoCo is off the chain. You can hold stuff online or have them transfer books for you. Seriously awesome.

bench press 175 x3

day 10 of low carb

Day 10 of low carb. It isn't that hard. I have been used to turning down food and other stuff for years. The hardest thing to do is to make sure you have some turkey or chicken around ahead of the time before you are hungry so I don't pull over and eat chips. Like I said it is early in the game. The changes are that I feel a bit leaner and I feel good that I am able to actually execute a diet. Also I am stronger in the gym because the amount of protein.

Chiefs win

Went over to Adams. Jason was there. Kelly--whatever her name was there as well. It was fun. I have fun friends. I am glad that I have people that want to hang with me. That means I offer some sort of value. Big week this weekend preparing to room. Need to work hard and be productive.

Catching up on the Penguins

Thanks to my HDMI chord. Watching some streaming penguins games vs Devils. Geno Malkin is good.

Saturday

Woke up and worked out. Watched Archer. Went on a cleaning binge. Sold some of my old ass x-box games. Apparently that old ass x-box games can be worth money. Cleaning binge part 2. Jason and Adam came over or the last KU watch party at my old place, went to black dog, talked to chicks, came home and went to bed.

lat pulldowns

105 x15 120 x10 135 x 4 135 x 4.

Walked on the treadmill for 3 miles. Did bench press with dumbbells 40 50 60 x10 60 is my pr but I could do more I.have.troube.transferong.the dumb bells.to bench position.

Thursday

Thursday I was really in the mood to play with my racing wheel. I tried to get the wheel to play with my laptop and on the screen of my HDTV it never quite worked correctly. It was better than just sitting there with a craving to play a racing game with a wheel. When I get a new job I am going to try to get a good wheel for my xbox 360. I hope the broncos lose tonight.

Should we chant...

Should the cauldron chant "SKC AIN'T NOTHING TO FUCK WITH"

Inspirational quote

squats

60lbs x10 60lbs x10 squats. 60 pounds is pathetic, but I know I can work on.it.

Wednesday

Wednesday I worked out. I went to Wal-Mart to get some pans that go under the hot grill things on the top of the stove? I don't know what they are called and I went to wal-mart twice today and still need to get one more of the drip pan dealies. I also got a 6 foot HDMI cord which was too small. I got a big ass one and now I can blog on my big screen and I can also watch youtube clips. This is somewhat significant because the best sound I can get out of any speakers is my soundbar and my subwoolfer. So I can watch or stream videos through my laptop. I can also watch a bunch of highlights on demand streamed right to my TV. In my best Yakaf Smirnoff voice.

"What a country!"

Diet

I have seen some difference in the weight room and around my boob area thanks to not eating mike and ikes and eating more Turkey-Chicken-Pork Skins (CARBS) Seeds Nuts. Basically not eating white rice, noodles, cake, pies. Anyway I thought this was a nice find. Some of the other dinners like this have carbs in it but this has 0 carbs. It is my food of the week.

lat pull downs

105 x15 120x11. 135 x4 135x4

Curls 50 x10 55x6 60x4

Total number lifted

I guess I need to have the total amount of weight lifted so two 30 pound dumbells are 60 pounds how many times is X so 30 pound dumbells shoulder pressed at 10 times is 60x10


Walked for warmup then
shoulder press 15x 60 15x 70 100 lbs 4x Delt machine 70 x10 90x 4 90x 4 upright rows 60 x15 70 x10 80 x2

BroScienceLife

BroScienceLife is a must follow for a weight lifter it is very tongue in cheek, but many things said in jest are true.

shoulder press

15x 30 15x35 50 lbs 4x felt machine 70 x10 90x 4 90x 4 upright rows 30 x15 35 x10 40 x2

Monday

Yesterday I met up with Raymond and then hung out with Jason at black dog. I checked out nhl 2014 from the library. Only in JoCo would you have brand new video games to check out.

Tuesday I got dressed went to Bryce's dads funeral. Everyone looked clean and had suits on. Pretty good showing from roughneck north-side boys. I drove back because I was not feeling well. I applying for jobs today.

Damnit

Cashews and peanuts are pretty high in carbs and starch and I have been noming on them for a couple days. I guess the results are not to get addicted to them and try to eat almonds and macadimeans instead. So learning is good right? You want the most out of your low carb diet avoid peanuts and cashews.

G.E.

I applied at GE today, and even though I was qualified I didn't pass the entrance exam. A bit frustrating, but it is for the best I am sure.

Work on patience

I have had the chance to practice patience over the years. It has served me well and sometimes the impact of the amount of practice is felt. I was going to Hy-vee to get chicken and I stood at the deli part and I was confused where to stand so I went to the counter and waited in line. I was a bit salty about waiting in line because it was leg day and I am always pissed on leg day. Anyway I get up there and the lady says I have to go by where the chicken is at and wait. Now I was confused why I had to go over and stand by the chicken because it was 10 feet away and why she just couldn't get the chicken, and I could feel that she was a bit harsh in her tone, but whatever. The mid-west is very nice and any hint of rudeness stands out...So I go down there and I am like "That lady has a tough job, it's a rough day for everyone just be patient and enjoy Sunday. Its chiefs day. No one can be mad on chiefs day." So she came down there and I was pretty bouncy just feeling good and she changed her attitude and I think because I calmed down she gave me the freshest and the best looking chicken out of the bunch. The chicken was delicious and nourishing enough to get me through another chiefs victory.

Saturday and Sunday.

I had a great birthday day and night. My parents came down and gave me gifts of awesome at Johnny's Tavern. Sporting KC won. I avoided birthday cake and ate chicken. It was a great night. Ended the night hanging out at black dog. Sunday I woke up and got a bucket of Hy-vee chicken and summer sausage watched the chiefs win. I found out that egg yokes have 57% of your daily allowance of cholesterol so although I am cynical about how bad studies on eggs are it will make me more aware of maybe buying egg whites and not eating the yoke out of hard boiled eggs.

on Sunday I walked a bit then I did leg presses which totally sucked, but I can see some gains in the amount of weight I am lifting. So that felt goood.

Diet

Chicken Wings Chicken cheese Veggies almonds cashews 2 chicken sausages and some sliced chicken. I think I stayed another day under my carb limit. I did eat a ton though. I worked my back biceps and walked a bit today.

MLS CUP CHAMPIONS

Sporting Kansas City are the Champions of the MLS. They get a birth in the champions league as well.

Brutal Draw for the USMNT

Ooof...if you are going to Brazil pack lightly.

Thursday Night

Thursday night I went to black dog. I am reading a book about roller derby chicks. They are hot. Bad attitudes, tats, possible meth addiction. I wish they had links to their myspace pages in this book. I played some video games. I played some old school Grand Theft Auto and I played some Golf. It was a nice night.

Wednesday night

Wednesday Jason and I hung out at black dog. I then went to a meeting that night. It was a bit boring but we talked about boring routines. How funny it is that I hate boring routines but I also hate change and I kind of hate excitement and drama.

So I have been playing around with my diet for poops and giggles and I really went low carb just to see what would happen. Now I have gone low carb before but I remember the frustration of being full but still not satisfied. When you are sober, not on drugs, not having sex, food can be the last final outlet of pleasure. So this time I am still not boning chicks, or drinking, or smoking herb, but I decided to give it a shot because my theory is that by going low carb, you are putting down that cookie and not eating mike and ikes, that alone will help you shed some weight. So the first day was tough, there wasn't much brain fog. I am used to some brain fog and I know it goes away. I think the real thing is you have to write about your diet at the end of the day and really give yourself credit if you do well. There are people at Wal-Mart who look like shit because they can't even come close to eating a decent diet. So anyway I gave myself credit and I am on day 3. It does give you more physical strength because you are taking in eggs instead of Twizzlers.

Wow LOL

I found a job that sounds like something I do anyway. Dealing with Sports and concert tickets. Oh NO it need me to fax things in? Well I had to drive around and I found out that Hen House is able to fax things in. So points for me for getting off my ass and getting some stuff done. I had to transfer my resume to the computer with a printer and *gasp* write an original cover letter. Also the weather has been awesome and now it is not awesome. Nothing like going out and being like uggggh this is cold. Character building I suppose.

Monday

Monday. I mailed my cobra payment in. I cancelled my cobra effective December 31st. I called coventry to see when my new health insurance premium is going to come in. I talked to all sorts of people that I have negative thoughts about. I was able in the moment to imagine what the person on the other line goes through. I just told myself to breathe. I called my work and discussed various situations. They were nice. Whenever I talk to customer service lines I rarely get the problem solved by the first person. So it is always fun to see how the first sentence out of my mouth makes no sense describing the problem. I worked out yesterday. I met with Raymond. His Thanksgiving went well. We talked about addiction to candy crush. I went to black dog for a bit. Went home and played on the internet and went to sleep.

Sunday

Sunday I woke up and went to the gym and did bench press. I am getting used to lifting again. It really sucks and I think the main thing that sucks is you lift then you have this time in between lifts where I am trying to catch my breathe and just wait for the next lift, and it is an annoying boring time. I know I want to get fit so I have to put up with some crap to get there.

I cleaned the apartment a bit and I got a list of stuff I need to get done this week. I need to pay my cobra, pay rent, get a shower head, clean the bathtub, apply for jobs, still get some working out in, and do all this and try to enjoy it. I know one thing. I will have a better week than Paul Walker.


The Chiefs sucked. Mizzou was awesome. Sporting KC plays in the Championship next week and I caught a bit of the Mo West basketball game on the Radio.


On Saturday The Birdman asked me to hang out for awhile. It was great to see him. I also watched and finished up The Wire. There was a part in there that talked about a man's funeral and how his family is there, and also friends that were as close as family. I thought about The Birdman andThe Elder statesman how they are truly family.

I had a great Thanksgiving and I am ready to get back to work. I had a funny moment on the way to the gym the other day. I thought "Am I ever going to get a break? Am I going to allow myself a full day off?" I then answered my own question. When I have an awesome body and I have a zillion dollars and I have a good career set up, yes I will give myself a break. Until then I will keep on grinding. Now of course sometimes I have to take a break for my mental health, but if I am healthy I am going to be working on myself and getting better.