Penguins

The Penguins have been strong as of late. Yesterday they shut out the Cup Champions kings 3-0. The Penguins are currently 6-2-1. The Penguins are in first in the Metro Division of the Eastern Conference.

Time to put on my big boy pants

Hello and happy Friday. Yesterday at work my boss Aaron was going over the stats with me. Everything was good. He said he had a Resolution Specialist class and asked me if I wanted to be in it. It is handing harder phone calls and having more power to settle issues. I said yes because I have decided that if I don't get that experience or knowledge someone else will. I feel like what the bosses do at my work I can do if I just get the knowledge and experience. I hate it when people say "Ray you have an easy life" To have my life you have to go into things and work and grind so there is time to play video poker, time to watch Sporting KC lose, and time to watch the Royals and chiefs.

So I am going to have to work on my breathing and my inner game skills because people that are made really can put me physically in a bad position which makes my words bad. So I will focus on my breathing and stay relax and get the knowledge. I am sure in a couple years I will be glad that opportunity knocked and I didn't take the easy way out. If you are not getting better you are getting worse.

Thursday

It was a rough one for Royals fans yesterday. It was a great season though. I worked and walked on the treadmill. I got off work went to Andrea's we did some QiChong workout stuff. Sporting KC limps into the playoffs and I don't expect much.

162.28

I had a huge week last week in Fantasy Football. I didn't even check the stats until today. Wowza...I have the chiefs defense and Antonio brown who were both amazing. My team is 5-3.

Wednesday

Royals won yesterday and today is a big day!!! I got Super Monkey ball for Wii I have yet to play it. Andrea's shower has no hot water.

I have been grinding on http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KkmQw5qMYs4

this video above about QiChong I started Wednesday out with my 4 minutes of Qichong

I have also been using a Meditation Bell to really focus on mindfullness and being present to the moment.

Monday and Tuesday

Monday and Tuesday I have been working on going for walks and practicing QiChong. Most of life is just learning how to love the things you already have. QiChong, Pray, and practicing spiritual things is not easy. It takes lots of practice and pain. I do feel better though doing that, working out, and then that helps me work better at work. I feel a good relationship with my boss at work. I am looking like I am going to bonus this month which is nice. The other day at work we had a large department meeting and my name was on the list as one of the top score people. There was along list, but I was grateful that I was even on the list. I am really good at call efficiency, call quality, my first call resolution isn't good, but I am working on it. Overall I feel way better now that I am lifting some weights, doing QiChong and going to AA meetings. I actually have a decent sponsor brothers which basically means I have people that got taught a spiritual way of life the same way. It was nice reaching out to The Elder Statesman the other day. He always has good wisdom. Bryce made a good pun this morning. This blog is all over the place today!

Meditation and reflection

I was able to stretch out meditation a bit yesterday. It can be exhausting to clear your mind and when thoughts come in clear it again for long periods of time but it can be done and it is a good habit and exersise to do. Just looking at the Flag over the Kansas Speedway with no thoughts in my head helped me calmed me down a bit.

Weekend

This weekend I worked Friday and Saturday. I don't remember much about it. We have new business and that will be a challenge. Saturday was a rough one. I didn't feel very well and I gutted it out at work. Sunday I woke up in a better mood. I worked out and ate chicken. I got prepared for the last home game of the season for Sporting KC. It was sad because I don't think they will get another home game. The team didn't mesh well at all and injuries hurt us. Goal Keeping wasn't good at all either. I walked around and took some final pictures and reflected on the 4th season of sporting park. The weather was beautiful. I sat in the south stand with Molly K as we talked about our cult favorite players. Sporting KC got beat. Henry didn't play for the Red Bulls which wasn't good. Traffic was good. Royals lost again.

I have my meals lined up mostly. I have prepared chicken and tuna so I have some decent fuel for my workouts. I am grateful I have money to afford to eat non-processed meats.

Thursday

Thursday I went to the doctor and got my meds increased. I visited with Raymond. We discusse chickens and other nonsense. He is doing good. I went to work out at planet fitness I did some chest and some dumb bell bench presses. The doctor was surprised that I gained so much weight, and she said that it wasn't from anti-depressants. So that was good news. I bought some chicken and I am going to eat as clean as possible for as long as possible.

Tuesday

Tuesday. I woke up and went to Planet Fitness. My workout routine needs a shot in the arm so I decided to switch it up and try planet fitness. It is very clean and is 15 bucks a month. so that means I am spending 45 bucks a month on two workout centers, but it provides me variety. I love walking trails, but I like walking on treadmills were there is a nice water supply and I have access to TV's on the double or Wi-Fi. I had a nice workout and I came back and I got on my knees and thanked God that I didn't go to that Royals game. I was able to buy steak and get membership going at planet fitness and save some money by not watching that awful game. On Tuesday Andrea said something about her hands hurting, but at this point I was too down about the Royals game. Like I said at-least I am able to buy steak and also borrow Just Dance 4 for the price of a Royals ticket.

I need to

I need to start going to the gym and eating right as apart of.my job and AA. I am going to start wearing a good uniform to the gym and wear an appropriate outfit to the gym like it is my job. My attitude of just being happy going to the gym isn't working well. Haha I am alright about it though. I know just working out a bit more and I will see results.

Monday

Monday my appointment was cancelled for my medication. I was glad that I at-least was able to go into a creative mode and make Meme's of myself. I really like the jokes I make so I was cracking myself up. Thank God I was born with a sense of humor about myself and other things. I went for a walk...I was also able to grill and burn the hairs off my arm. I went to the Library because Andrea said she had no fun this weekend. I borrowed just dance 3 and 4 from the Library and I drove the Andrea's to set up the Wii she bought in a garage sell. Sometimes I get things for people and they don't play them, but this one worked out. Rachael and Andrea danced. I played with Rachael's kids for awhile and I bought this electric drum kit toy and Titus played with that a bit. So the night went good. The fantasy football weekend was a barn burner and I had the game won but my fantasy football player Antonio Brown stepped out of bounds. He didn't score and I lost by one. Fantasy football was awesome this weekend because I watched 3 games and had a vested interest. It was pretty exciting.

Monday

Monday my doctor cancelled and rescheduled for Thursday. That is a bummer I was hoping to feel or get something to help me feel a bit better. Oh well one day at a time. It was nice to wake up with a clean house. Andrew did a great job cleaning. I made some posts on Facebook that I thought was funny.

Winding up the weekend

Winding up the weekend. I am watching Seattle and Galaxy. I feel pretty good. It is about time for a weekend gratitude list.

I am grateful my dad is able to hold a job so he can afford 70 inches of T.V. it is glorious and Nascar looks great on it.

I am grateful for food and water. America is a great place to live.

I am glad that I live in safe neighborhoods (for the most part)

I am glad there is A.A. a place where if you want to quit partying and shift your focus on helping people, you have that options

Andrea, Sheree, Cortland, Mom, Andrea's parents, Bryce, Bryce's parents, John....Grateful for those people as well.

I am glad I went to a H.S. where I was able to stay out of trouble and by the grace of God I stayed out of trouble most of my life.

I am grateful for my health and a balanced life. I had this weekend off and it was a blessing to get a chance to clean and it was nice to enjoy some football.

I am grateful for the Royals. I have spent all this money on the team and they are coming through huge now. Good job Royals

I am grateful for Sporting KC...A Bed to sleep in. I love to fish...bowling....area rugs
and throw rugs.

I am grateful for my mom and dad for staying together.

I am grateful that I found a man like Raymond and my dad who do good things for others. A healthy respect that you do good for other people and good things happen is what I sorely needed.

I am grateful for Bryce who was always a man I could dump my problems on and he was patient and I could always sleep at his place in springfield

being productive.

It was nice to get up and help Andrea clean today. She spent all day cleaning. Good for her. The house looks good and the outside trees are beautiful. Hopefully she feeds the racoons apples!

Sunday.

I had a great day and so did the chiefs. Vinnie can enjoy a Red Monday as the Chiefs come through for the victory. My mom loved to ask me if the Royals can win the World Series...4 out of the next 7. Miracles happen.

Saturday

Saturday ended up being a pretty good day. I was able to do some cleaning. I went to Andrea's house and she got a Wii and did well garage sale shopping. I watched the Notre Dame and Flordia State game. Sporting KC lost. They are really limping into the playoffs. We went to an AA speaker meeting which was productive. It was nice to hear that a shift in a mindset from "Where is the party at this weekend?" do "How can I be of service, or how can I do my job better" That made me feel good because I do make an effort to be of service. It makes me feel good that we can go to an AA meeting and learn somethings about life, we can hear people be honest about some secrets that gives me some peace, and it is free or at most costs a dollar. That makes for a nice Sunday morning. I went for a walk and the cold air was refreshing. I did a bad job yesterday eating a ton of graham crackers, but I am not too upset, I was just upset because it gave me a tummy ache. Today I am going to watch the chiefs, but the rest is going to be up in the air. I am reading a book about Chinese martial arts and it's healing properties. It is pretty good.

Saturday

Friday I did nothing. A racoon broke into Andrea's house, I was on my way home to get some sleep. Saturday came and I woke up and went to 24-hour fitness. I cleaned my bathroom. I bought some stuff at Aldi's. I also took naps and I paid bills. Jason and Sarah are always on time for bill paying and for that I am grateful.

thursday

Thursday I was of service by cleaning Andrea's house. It is nice to live my life with spiritual principles. I feel great when I put other people in front of me. I watched football yesterday night. I felt a bit better as of late. I am still going to the doctor on Monday to see if I need a re up on my meds. I went bowling yesterday at park lanes

Thursday

I am glad yesterday is over and I am glad I scheduled an appointment for Monday. I hope to get my meds adjusted because I have had one big panic attack the last couple days. I was able to go to an AA meeting with my roommate which was productive. I used to drink the anxiety away, but I was taking the attack the most positive way as possible. Jason, Adam and I were all at the meeting also I signed up to speak with Adam on November 1st. I am a bit worried I have to work that day but I will find out shortly if I have to work or not. The Royals. What a magical run. Speed and defense. They are amazing at pitching and defense. 4 more games and we are world champions. It is starting to sink in more that they are champions.

Wednesday

Wednesday The Royals Win and they are going to the World Series. It hasn't sunk in yet. I have had horrible anxiety and stress lately, so it is hard to be happy. I go to the doctor monday hopefully we get something done. On the good though the Royals defense and pitching is amazing.

Tuesday

Tuesday I woke up with a nervous edge. I was able to use the nervous energy to go on a 2-mile walk. It was o.k. A bit windy. I then went to the Library and picked out some books. I posted about things. I then when to Hy-Vee and got some chicken. There were people there talking about the Royals and Halloween at the same time. Very weird to say the least. I got some chicken and I came home and took a nap and I am getting ready for work tonight. I am hopeful I get better medicine so I don't have to be so edgy or so anxious right from when I wake up and I have a doctors appointment for it Monday. On one hand being on edge gets me moving, on the other hand it makes life pretty miserable until I get some things done and such. Oh well I will keep getting better and take steps to make my life better.

Penguins update

The Penguins have came out with 2 wins to start to the season. Sutter is my favorite hard working player on the team. They beat Anaheim and The Maple Leafs. 2 games 2 wins is a great start. Fluery looks crappy between the pipes again. Hope he gets his act together this year. He has a habit of coming out of goal and getting embarrassed as an easy goal goes in while he is flopping around behind the net. Go Pens.

Frustrated with some hope.

I have been frustrated with the way I have been feeling lately. I have decided to take action an go to the doctor on Monday to see if I need a change in medicine. My life is not life or death and I shouldn't be having panic attacks or just feeling down so much. I have been doing my best not to let it show in my work or the way I treat people, but I know I am not doing enough to see if there are better options out there to treat anxiety or depression. So I better set aside some money this week to pay the doctor. Kudos for me for taking massive action on the matter and I know now it is up to me to make myself happy no one will do it for yourself.

Work...work is good. I am lower to middle rankings. It has been messed up, but I keep praying and keep taking action trying to be laid back.

Andrea is good. She handles things with grace and class that many people wouldn't. She has worked hard to pause when angered or upset and be able to make better choices. Many people just act out like children. She is a miracle and a testament that your personality and your character can change if you work at it. Sometimes you revert to type and go back to the old way of acting, but you can always improve of patience and pausing to the point were you become better at it.

Patience....you have to be patient to fish.

I went swimming and sat in the hot tub today at 24-hour fitness I want to get my moneys worth.

Giving back

It doesn't matter if it is an extra dollar in the basket or helping others. Or just putting a smile on someone else's face. I always love giving back. Today I was at Hy-Vee and I told the workers making the chicken that I appreciate them busting their butt. The man just smiled and said. I do it because people love chicken and without my hard work people wouldn't get the chicken they deserve.

Sunday

I had Friday circled on my schedule. It was Sporting KC night. My dad showed up at the exact same time I did. Andrea came later on and she cheered as Sporting KC won 2-0. Dwyer and Zusi played awesome. As well as the Hebrew Hammer.


Saturday I watched Mizzou get shut out. Saturday night I worked and tried my best to get updates on the Royals. They are on Friday.

Friday Andrea, My dad, and I went to Sporting KC. Dom Dwyer looked great and so did Zusi. SKC won 2-0.

Sunday I woke up and went to 24-hour fitness and walked. I went to an AA meeting and did some talking. Now I am blogging. It was a good week filled with lots of service and lots of giving back. I love to really put time, money, and energy in AA. Alcoholism is one of the things that I try to help people where ever I can. It really gives me good vibes that I can help.

Thursday

Thursday I woke up and I played some video games. I then asked myself what do I need to do right now. I decided I need to see if I could get my bowling ball drilled. My dad was kind enough to buy me a bowling ball. I called southside lanes and they said they could have someone there by 12:30 pm. I went back to St. Joseph. My dad had the day off and we got the bowling ball drilled. It is nice to have random days off so I could take my time to get the ball drilled and I could also get new slacks for work. We went to chedders and out to eat. Then mom came home and I used the bowling ball. The ball felt good and it was fun. I then drove to KC and I helped Larry take one dryer out and take one dryer out to the curb. We took bets on how long it took for someone to take it. I then watched Rehab addict and that show was probably my favorite as far as HGTV goes. It was a nice day off and I am going to the sporting game tonight which should be fun.

hahaha

Some lady at the store was upset because she won 100 dollars, but she almost won 1,000 dollars. If you are a gambler and you can't find joy in winning anything. You need to find a different game. The game of life in short is always to act grateful to God and grateful for the universe to give you anything. I am grateful for the Royals and their magical trip. I am grateful for sporting kc. I need 2 more people to go to skc for Friday by the way!

Monday

Monday was an alright day of work. I got a bit early so I went to Andrea's I watched football and talked. She wanted to know if my parents loved her, and I said yes my parents love her, they are concerned with her projects sometimes. She got mad and I explained I am always trying to get her goat. She was still mad when we went to bed. She can do all the projects she wants it is her house. I woke up this morning vacuumed my room then went to an AA meeting. I figured I have been sassy and hungry so I better go to AA and be around people. It was good. Now I am just chilling. I have tickets to Sporting KC on friday. SKC!

The Weekend

The weekend started by me going home to Andrea's and Nate was watching the Royals with his trusty dog "Chedder" Chedder sniffed me up and down and ran away. The Royals ran away with the game on an Eric Hosmer homerun. Saturday was worlds of fun day. Andrea got up and looked at garage sales while I drove around and did nothing. Andrea got home and I went to worlds of fun and Andrea couldn't find her pass, but later she found it. I met up with my family for family funday Saturday at Worlds of Fun. It was halloween spooktacular day and the park was very scary filled with people with bad beards and carhardt jackets. I road the Patriot, Flying Dutchman, Sea Dragon, and the buffet line. The end of the night we went to Johns and vinnie, bryce, excuse me "THE BYRDMAN" R.J. Snatch, Brett, and their girlfriends or wives were all there. Johns house was very nice. We went home and it was nice. On Sunday I went out to nascar. I packed lots of meat snacks and pop. I showed up really early to catch the Joe Nichols concert. He was very country. I snapped some pictures. My mom and dad showed up and the race was good, but man the weather was the real star. After the race it took me forever to get out of the parking lot. I stayed somewhat in check the entire day. I used to have anxiety so bad I could never go to Nascar without a heeping helping of Whiskey and beer, but over the years I have learned to mellow out and let everyone do their thing. Watching Nascar in person is better than sitting at the house not doing nothing. Joey Legano won the race. I went home and watched The Royals with Andreas dad and the kid. The Royals are on fire and it was a good week. Sporting KC plays this Friday and they are quietly not having a good season. They have been "MEH" Hopefully they catch fire like the Royals down the stretch.

Thursday

Thursday I woke up. Went out to the speedway to poke around at the action. Lots and lots and lots and lots of motorhomes. No race cars drivers seen. Lots of people at the Legends. I went to hang out with Raymond he is doing well. I want to make a point to visit him every week. Yesterday at work I got to sit with new people and show them a great attitude that makes me successful. Royals tonight! Yeah!

Wednesday

Wednesday I woke up. I had pretty bad anxiety even though I have been taking medicine. I didn't sleep well so that could be an issue. I went over to Andrea's Mom's house to visit the great-grandma and Andrea's mom. We talked about the cruise and shot the breeze for awhile. I played with Andrea's niece and nephew for awhile. I went to work. I am not going to bonus this month because of new rules. My boss keeps listening to my calls and says I am doing good. I have to show empathy and show I care on every call. After work I went to the gym. I got my picks in this weekend 49ers and Rams win total score 77. My fantasy football team last weekend did great.