other stuff.

Andrea hasn't contacted me lately. Which is good. I am sure she is reading my blog because I see 4 or 5 hits on my blog. When you look at it logically she really does need a person that can work on houses without complaining. Needs a non-catholic that goes to church and someone that can go on boats and cruises. I play T.V. like being by myself and stuff. So I hope she is doing well and I hope she understands that she is building self-esteem and at some point you just have to get someone who fits your needs. I am praying she never contacts me again unless the situation is right and she puts in the time and wor to build self-esteem. I have tons of girls break up with me, I had to move on eventually and build up my self worth. It isn't easy doing that BUT NOTHING IN LIFE WORTH HAVING IS EASY.

The Weekend

I worked thanksgiving night. I also worked black friday. It was very very busy. It was stressful. I didn't get much sleep on Friday night. Saturday I woke up and I was grateful not to have to do brunch or have anyone around me. I also didn't have to clean or do anything. I just had to rest and I needed it. I went and got Cortland's Halo Lego set. With the hours I put in for Holiday pay I was able to afford his Legos that was night. I thank God I was able to afford something this year. I haven't been doing well with money. The night came and I felt terrible. I was tired for work and just the holidays were weird on me. Cortlands birthday party was fun though. My dad and I were laughing at the "Jackpot" of tickets he won. In true gambling fashion he said "I was down to my last quarter as well" (that is something every gambler says) My mom and I went to the casino and I lost 30 bucks. It was still a fun night. Sunday I woke up again feeling tired and terrible. I watched some football and ate some mr. goodscents. Fun weekend overall.

Thanksgiving

Wednesday I worked and I was wired when I got off work. I went back to St. Joseph at midnight. I woke up on Thanksgiving and worked out. My family and I went to Golden Corral. It was delicious and it was fun. My mom did a great job with extra food. I had to go to work. I was in a decent mood to be productive we were busy. I came home and just chatted online to friends over facebook. On Friday I work and I have off Saturday and Sunday. I am thankful for people that love me and I am thankful for shelter, warm showers, and a roof over my head.

If nothing Changes Nothing changes

As the saying goes "If nothing changes" "Nothing changes" with that I decided that I am going to change the way I live and focus on AA, prayer, and playing video games. I asked Andrea not to contact me yesterday and she came to me work?!? and came to my apartment...I made up my mind this is the end. No more contact. She needs to work on herself and find a guy who likes to boat and work on houses and I need to play video games. So I called her mom and we got together to clean my stuff out. I am a bit sad bit I see a person for Andrea who goes to church, works on houses, that makes babies, etc. And I see myself playing ps4 and watching Sporting KC. So I am a bit sad today, but jason and I are hanging out. I work 3-11:30 tonight 3:30-9:00pm tomorrow and 3-11:30 on friday. I have saturday and sunday off and I will get double-time and a half pay for tomorrow.

Tuesday

Drew Breezy had a huge game yesterday that sunk my fantasy team. On tuesday I woke up and played some poker on game cube. I have been doing awful lately. I have put hours in on my poker game but I am still not very good. I made my bed. I texted my dad the reasons why Andrea and I aren't working out. He wished her well. My whole family wishes her well actually. It will be good for her if she wants babies and a husband to do that now and not waste any more moments on a guy like me who loves SKC, Chiefs, Royals, Penguins, PS4 over bablies families and such. I reconnected with some people like Lesiel and Chelle some other people who are out in about so I can start going out again. It felt good like old times. Overall I grew with my time with Andrea. I really saw what it took to grow which is not playing video games and watching sports and working on houses and playing board games with family.

The Penguins

Marc-Andre Fleury gets his 300th win for the penguins and Geno Malkin scored the game winner on national T.V. against the Bruins tonite. Congrats.

Monday

Eli Manning had a huge night for me in fantasy yesterday. This morning I woke up and washed clothes and I played some playstation 4. Andrea wanted me to get my stuff out of her house because she is mad at me again. So I went over there and she was kind enough to pack up all my stuff. I left but checked out her dads poor buick had a damaged door. I came home went to library worked and now I need The Saints to play bad.

Awful week for fantasy teams

I picked up Maurince Jones drew off the waiver wire. He COST me points. I would have been better not starting anyone.

Weekend

This weekend it was slick out and I wanted to protect the jeep again. Andrea didn't want to hang out which gave me time to really go to AA meetings. I really spread my 4 years of knowledge around. I know one thing I always had this voice inside me telling me to do wrong things. Drinking, lying, cheating, stealing, evening the score. That is never a good idea. So anyway in some of the alcohol programs they call that "Labeling your beast" so when you get those thoughts you know to not take that seriously. Anyway I went to three AA meetings and I plan on going to many more because I have knowledge to share and I get to learn and get to re-learn things I already know. I played lots of PS4 this weekend and took some videos of me playing. That was fun. I watched football.

At work I was ranked 4th out of like 140 people which is good. I only have 5 more days of the month and hopefully I bonus!

Friday

I have been busy lately. Today a friend Jorge came up to me at work. I was able to make it to number one. I dropped to 8 on Friday but it is cool to be up there in the rankings number 1. I watched the chiefs get beat yesterday and that wasn't fool. I got beat at Texas Holdem for 50 bucks as well that wasn't cool either but I feel by game is getting better lol. I have to work thanksgiving 330 to 9:30 which is a bummer. I can make my 50 bucks back working the holiday I suppose haha. I wish I had Thursday and Friday off next week to relax and hit AA meetings but working is good for me. I went to AA meetings and practice qichong. I am glad that the holidays aren't too hectic for men one day.at a time. I still meet with Raymond every week so I can become a better man.

Friday

Yesterday I watched the Chiefs lose. Andrea and I hung out. I went to Raymonds. I taught him what I know about Qichong. I work Friday and Saturday this weekend. I am ranked #3 at work which is good.

jerp

I was able to take care of my jeep this weekend. That is the most important thing. My jeep is working that is all that matters.

Sunday Gratitude List.

I am grateful for my parents for giving me the tools to make money and have a good life.
I am grateful to survive last week with Andrea. Now she is having a decent week, cooking, making brunch, being productive. I get a front row seat to her growing an it reminds me of myself. Going from getting drunk on Sundays to planning your week is just a good way to set up for success. I went for a walk Sunday at Planet fitness and I made the goal to stay safe and have my jeep safe. Andrea's parents had an accident in their car and I will say the roads were bad here.

I am grateful for another day with a running jeep.
I am grateful for no homework on Sunday night.

Sunday

I enjoyed watching the Chiefs win today. I got to tweet with Bahr as well. The Chiefs are a very solid team. I went shopping with Andrea and we both enjoyed ourselves by grocery shopping and she cleaned. The Chiefs and Royals are having good years and I am enjoying it.

The Week that was.

This week was very busy. We got new clients at work. I was busy and I was taking supervisor calls. I felt decent at work though. My medicine seems to be taking the edge off. I talked to Raymond on Thursday. I went to the doctor on Thursday. I also on day 4 on not eating after 8 PM. The Doctor said I was overweight and I was going to have knee problems. So I have been trying not to eat after eight. Andrea was better this weekend. She made brunch and let me eat food and watch football. My new PS4 is great and I am also playing Wii over the weekend. I need to practice double double bonus hands in video poker. I am playing Jacks and better correctly, but I found out that the same rules do not apply to double double bonus poker haha. I played some Wii Sega Bass fishing. It isdecent but I suck.

Wednesday

Wednesday I woke up and played some video games. MLB The Show is off the chain. It is not easy to play though. I did some walking at the gym along with some elipitcal work. It was O.K. I have been posting more on Sober Recovery for some deep level satisfaction. I woke up and Texted Bryce and we chatted about cultivating patience. I want to say also that since my sister is so busy with pop-culture stuff I am always able to talk to people and work on my people skills.

tuesday

I went to the dentist. I take care of my teeth. My dentist had a long talk with me about life. I vow to floss more. This time I mean it. It went well. I helped the receptionist tell her kids how video games can help teach miss about work ethic. I talked about coder dojo and the whole day was weirdly connected with people. My sister works hard with her kid to succeed and helps me connect with other people. I also was telling people the cold weather was like free effective air conditioning.

Chiefs Win

The Chiefs had a big win on the road. They are playing well. Andrea was bad all weekend but she pulled it together at the end. I made it through my training and put my heart and soul into becoming a better worker. I bought Andrea flowers because she made it through the weekend. My dad worked really hard to provide me video games. I ate granite city. MISSOURI WESTER WIN THEIR GAME A BILLION TO ZERO. I woke up Monday and did some breathing work and qichong. It has been a busy time and I am grateful for God in my life. Ups and downs I vow to stay positive and just be grateful for what I have.

Zen and the art of poker

I am reading this book. It really shows how important patience is to any game and in life. Patience has to be the center pillar of life to really achieve peace in your life.

Wednesday

Tuesday and Wednesday were pretty good days to work out. I felt pretty good and I was in a decent mood to walk on the treadmill and lift weights. Tuesday night I worked and Andrea offered to come over to my place. I am always leary about her coming over because I never know if she is going to spaz out or if her miata is going to break down and/or explode, or if she would forget clothes for work. I picked up some food and a toothbrush and set up episodes of Mad Men so we could have a slumber party. It went well she was in a good mood. The weather is good and I just finished American Hustle. Christian Bale is off the chain!

Tuesday

I woke up and did qichong and prayed today. I scraped my right front fender against the wall at andreas yesterday, so I was a bit mad that there is some body damage, but I am glad that nothing like that has happened before. I had a good run of luck with this jeep. So I was struggling a bit to put a scrape into prespective. I worked out. It was o.k. It is better than not working out. I ate decent and I was productice. Andrea and I watched mad men yesterday, yep it is still awesome!

Weekend

Weekend started on Friday. I worked and it was pretty meh. I got off worked and watched a movie on eastern medicine in china. Andrea came home and we did nothing. I woke up Saturday morning. I created characters for Andrea and I on Wii. Saturday I went for a walk and then got ready for a day filled with AA. I was speaking that night for my 4 year sober birthday. My friend Adam was speaking as well. First Andrea and I worked 4 or 5 hours cleaning the garage. Andrea wanted the garage cleaned so she could park two cars in there and I knew to be a good man I needed to help. I was able to help. That night Andrea's parents drove us to AA and I spoke and I did a great job speaking. I also brought some dessert for everyone and everyone told me how awesome I was. I was just like...I know I am awesome I spent 4 years developing skills ya'll. So that went good. Sunday I worked some more as did andrea to clean the basement out. We went to St. Joseph where I watched the Chiefs win and my dad and dog play while we watched the chiefs win. Andrea went with my mom to watch a movie. Sunday night we played Wii and it was fun. It was a very long weekend and it tested my patience, but I would give myself an A++ because I was of service and I was sober, and the chiefs won.