Thursday

Today was a decent day. I had a cold. It mellowed me out a bit. I walked 2 miles. I went to visit Raymond. I went to the mall. I had an instant date at black dog. I played as much video games as possible. I watched Tony Robbins videos. I cleaned my room. Jason got me deer sausage from his brother. I met two girls one named shelby and the other named hannah. I met a black girl that is named Michelle and she is from africa and she is going to become a doctor. I met lots of interesting people. Hannah was a person I talked to most I learned how to say awkward in Sign Language.

Thursday

Wednesday I set up my presentation for sales for the team. The worst part was waiting around to get started. I got started it went o.k. I learned I need to be a bit more positive and not say things like "this will get you in trouble" Instead say "This will lead you to success" The rest of the day went good. We had a potluck and instead of eating until I made myself sick I managed my food so I didn't make myself sick. That was a small victory for me. I sometimes eat to try to make myself feel better. Work doesn't feel great most of the time. Overeating doesn't solve that problem.

Monday

Monday was good. I was asked to do a sales presentation for Wednesday. I worked all day. I worked out in the morning. Came home and watched some T.V. with Jason. Perfect day perfect energy.

This week

This week was productive. I felt a bit better about myself this week than I have. My jeans fit better and I have been able to get to the gym and work as hard as I can. I was able to stop myself from eating trash sometimes because I tell myself "I don't want to live like this, I am tired of my clothes not fitting" So I had some energy. On Friday my vacation mess up at work was nagging me very much so. When things nag at my brain I know how to handle it. I have to say. God I will do my job and you do yours, it is in your hands. So I will leave it up to God to settle what the heck is going on with my vacation time. I turned my attention on whom I can help in AA. I went out to eat with Matt The Engineer on Friday. It was good. He bought me a meal for helping him move. It was delicious. Saturday I just had it in my mind that I keep on doing things for other people I will start to move toward peace. Like I said my work was really on my nerves. Everytime work got on my nerves I just told myself "God I give this to you, I can't handle it right now" I knew everything was going to work out because I have faith that you do things for other people and it is all good. I played pinball on saturday and hung out. I decided to go out to eat at The Foundry. Karena was going out with Salon friends and so I didn't think I was going to hang out with her, she ended up strolling into the foundry were I was eating and sat down. Normally I don't think of prayers of working this way, but I was praying and doing an affirmation "Everyone who you love and who loves you is making their way into your life" Now I am firmly in the friend zone with Karena and I am o.k. with that and I was just glad to have someone to make me laugh and take some of the nagging feelings off me. I had tacos at the foundry they were healthy but not that good. They use fresh stuff and glutton free and not lard that Mi Rancheto uses. So it was o.k. Karena and her salon friends sat around and had a good time and I had a long night of laughing and just enjoying myself. Sunday I signed up to work 3 hours and I woke up feeling loved and not alone which is nice. This start of the year I have just been trying to make myself better in hopes of attracting better people and a better life. It was nice to have fun people around me. I worked today then played pinball and watched T.V. with Jason. I have long week tomorrow. I hope my vacation situation gets fixed. Also I have to sell stuff again at work which I am sure will be ok. I got put in a leadership class and I was able to make that class on Friday. Everything works out if I try to contribute and not try to take take take from everything. I had a good day today like I said. My jeans fit better, I had energy to work out and go to work, and I had energy to write this blog. I am glad that I am sober and I am able to grow as a person. I am glad for friends that come along at the right time. I am glad I have Bryce texting me. I don't get to really hang out with him, but I do hang out with other friends which is nice. I am grateful for my life and my health. I am grateful for my parents for always growing and being in a decent mood. I am grateful for my sister, toilets, water, diet coke, coffee, black dog. That is about it.

Friday

Friday was annoying. I have the time off to go to spring training but my schedule said I have -76 hours of PTO. So hopefully that doesn't screw up my vacation. I have faith it will work out. I just need to do the right thing and keep moving forward.

Thursday

Thursday I went to the gym. I also went to the hot tub. Good on me for keeping up good rituals and habits. I introduced myself to a cute girl named Ashley she was very nice. She tried to sell me on some Jesus type of stuff which was cool because when was nice to me. I was supposed to go out with Karena, but she got sick. I met with Raymond and I feel everyone we meet I am more at peace. I have a leadership program tomorrow to attend. Good on me for working hard

Pizza West

I went to pizza west today. It had 4 pinball machines. It was awesome. I also worked out and worked and hung out with Jason.

The night

I had a half day. I hung out with Jason. We had a couple laughs as a Model named Bethany gave me a kiss on the cheek. He gave me another polo. Man I have so much to be thankful for. I went to an AA meeting. No matter how much money I spend on polo's and food, I don't have a dui and I don't have an assault on my record. You can't get anything done with saving money paying for DUI's or assault charges. The day ended with a comedy open mic. I didn't get there in time to do a set, but I watched. People were good, not really funny, but spoke well and had punch lines.

Totally weird night

I don't remember if I put this down but a woman named Bethany gave me a random kiss in the cheek. That was random. Today I worked very hard and I played pinball Jason gave me tons of shirts. That was nice because I work at praying for abundance. I am ranked #1 on my team and 27th overall at work. I told my boss I want him or another manager to sit with me how to get better at my job. I want to be the #1 worker and I am willing to humble myself to do so. It was nice and I got some inside feedback. I also got to be comfortable getting feedback.

Sunday

Sunday I woke up and felt awful. That is what happens I guess. I know getting my body ready for success is a process. I head to the gym and get myself pumped for an awesome workout and hot tub. I got that done. My friend Kristen wanted to go to black dog. We had a jam session of laughs. I wrote 3 jokes out of the session. I drove to St. Joseph and walked on the treadmill and hung out with my dad and watched football. It was fun. I went out and played pinball. I met 5 people. This really helped my people and communication skills. I also kept up the skill of courage. I was proud of myself driving back to KC I was feeling down but I screamed at myself to lighten up and I felt good enough to play pinball and meet people. Stacking success is important.

Prayer or thought for the day

Gods wealth rains down with me an avalanche of abondance.
all my needs and goals will be met because he has awesome wisdom!
He is everything and I am one with my creator.

I did this simple prayer and jason gave me new shoes. Man God does give me more than enough wealth to go around.

Friday I walked 2-miles. I met a girl at Black Dog named Alexis. I went to work. I moved up to 33 in the ranking board at work. Anything above 50 percent is good. I strive to be the best but anything above average is good. I had a decent day. I treated everyone with respect. I was really tired after work and I just came home and kicked it. The victory's yesterday is I was able to walk 2-miles. I celebrated the fact that I worked out my legs enough to keep that success going! I also really listened and model the way I talk and think after Tony Robbins and Raymond and sometimes my dad and sometimes Cheryl.

Victory Yesterday

Victory yesterday was actually having cool girls hanging out with me. Victory is hanging out with Jason and chopping it up about selling. A victory was me putting the time and effort in working out and having my jeans a bit less snug. I should be able to wake up and not be so hungover now because I may have found a formula to waking up and feeling crappy. Go for a walk and go in the hot tub at the gym.

progress

Yesterday I feel bad because of lack of progress. I want to see more peace in my life. I reflected how calm I am now when I think about traveling. I used to be terrified about traveling. I couldn't stand the thought of being out of my comfort zone. I am more comfortable today with the thought of traveling. That is progress. I get frustrated no one texts or calls me to hang out. Freedom and success is about doing what you want when you want with whom. I had some progress with n hanging with Lesil and Karena. Two beautiful ladies who embody the best of what life to offer. Very funny, talented, imaginative. Clear vision for things. I listen to as much Tony Robbins as I can and lots of his things have him creating a vision I have a vision of making money then investing that money to grow more money. Teaching and meeting cool people. I have a chance to do so because I take massive action filling my days with thoughts and actions. I want to learn a new language and also learn so fear design. I have a vision list that I want to really focus on. I woke up today. Felt horrible again. Went to he gym and walked and sat in the hot tub.

Thursday

Thursday I met with Raymond. He is doing well. I went out with Lesiel and saw Karena out. It was a good day to hang out with ladies I guess. The end.

Wednesday

Wednesday I woke up in a bad mood. I haven't slept well my ribs still hurt and my elbow is on fire still from falling on ice. I gathered myself in at-least to just accept the way I was feeling and roll with the punches. Some people can work from the mindset of being pissed or they can change their state of mind with booze and weed. I can't do that so I just kind of roll with the punches. The Victory I had was that I went to work. I got a good e-mail from my boss. I got an earlier shift so I can watch the Royals. I was good to people. My gift the the world is I resolve to be loving and patient with people in all situations. I must do that if I want to have a good life. Work went well. On tuesday I really did well, Wednesday I did well to be nice. The Victory was just not letting my spirit be broken with a bad mood.

I got fired from my team in fifa. I am getting some players from skc to move them over. I have made some videos as well of me playing. I enjoy my ps4

Tuesday

Tuesday my victory was that I had a very long and hard workload and I was able to work through it very calmly. I know for me to make a billion zillion dollars I have to never get upset. I have to have ice water through my veins and be able to put in long hours of steady work. I want to make sure I give myself credit that I worked hard and I gave value through my patience and my work ethic.

I worked out in the morning. No changes in my workout just did my work and got out. It was enjoyable.

I talked to a lady named Emily while playing pinball. Good on me for starting conversations with strangers. We talked about anxiety. It was a very deep conversation. I am quite proud of my people skills and the fact that I have real life issues that I can talk about in a smart manor.

I am going to spring training this year with help from my dad. I love fun, sun, and baseball. Not in that order.

Well thought out idea

Success can looks awkward. I was able to form a thought and share it on facebook. I felt very high when I was in that state of mind. It actually uncomfortable when I go to a higher plane of thought. It is hard to describe. I took time out to acknowledge the feeling I got from forming a thought and executing the process of communicating the thought. Then I moved on with my day. Oprah, Marshall Mathers, Tiger woods, all were awkward and did things that no one thought would work.

Monday

Monday I had inspiration. The supervisors sit with the workers sometimes to help coach them. I decided I was going to be pro-active to ask Aaron and Bill to sit with me. I have nothing to lose and all to gain. I can get better. I can show I am a leader and that I am not scared to go through a small annoyance to get better. I would rather trade a small chunk of time with a person sit with me for a chance to look like a leader, I get to handle working closer to Bill and Aaron which is good to help connect. It will help me focus on getting better and taking care of the customers. I can bet I am not going to get salty with a customer while bosses are sitting with me. It will make me a better worker and that skill of asking for help will make me billions of dollars over time. I know if I can put aside my emotions to get better and do what good workers do I will make billions of dollars because I will just do that with awesome people like the successful guy that made KFC. He was 64 when he made his business.

I was able to go to sleep, wake up, get my jeep fixed. Now I am rich...the end.

Monday

I drove a couple hour from St. Joseph to Belton. I got my window fixed. That was the big win of the day. Smaller wins. I didn't get upset at a couple people who were being annoying and rude. Ice Water through your veins. I went and visited Jenni yesterday at the first ward. Now she asked me for some inspiration today. I was able to provide that because I know how to roll with the punches and have emotion create emotion and get through long work days. I walked and I had a great soundtrack to get my mind in a mindset and an attitude of how to get better. I told people at work to start a work blog with their good deeds on it and don't be shy. Everything that was hard write it down. Celebrate it. Create a vision in your head who you want to be whom you want to meet. Dr. Dre...50 cent. Eminem...etc. It was a long day and I made it through work. I am annoyed and tired right now.

Victory Monday

A victory me on Monday started on Sunday. I went to bed halfway early. Woke up drove down and got my window taken care of. I used to suck taking care of personal business. I am still not great at it. I want to celebrate the small or big victories anyway I can. I went for a walk today. I listened to trance music by Paul Van Dyk. This got me into a trance state that relaxes my mind. When athletes talk about this it really takes my mind into a zone that makes it easier to work. So that was a victory. I went and visited Jenni yesterday at first ward then she sent me a message today wanting more inspiration. I am glad I got out of bed and visited her. Small thing mean big to people.

The Best things I did this weekend.

Hanging out with my family was awesome. Getting my jeep indoors where it is safe was a good move as well. Working out on the treadmill was good as well. Saving money to spend it on Royals gear was good as well. I really want to work towards making 100k a year, more sporting kc gear and tickets, new Royals gear or tickets, more ku gear or tickets, give back more, talk to bryce more. Talk to people about the mindset of success more. Eat more 54th street.

Getting on the treadmill was probably the most powerful thing I did this weekend. While other people were enjoying their weekend getting worse at life I have laser like focus on my dreams of getting into shape. Making more money and cultivating my social skills.

I was glad I am sober as well. I will never take for granted that people wake up in the hospital and in jail all the time because of drugs and alcohol. If you are drunk or high you can't chase your dream.

The Weekend

This weekend was filled with time on the treadmill and some time with my parents. I deeply love my parents and they are healthy. My dad and I enjoyed some good times watching football. Especially Peyton Manning losing! I went to Starbucks and I established that is a better place to hang out than the casino in St. Joseph, not as good as the AA hall though. I took lots of pictures and made lots of videos for myself. I want to make as much money as anyone all time. LOL lofty goal I know. Life has become a bit more fun when I wake up and focus on making money. Even if I don't make money on days at-least I can imagine making money. I imagine what it would feel like to give the money away to help people. I wrote some in my many journals. My parents dog was terrible this weekend...always barking always bothering me. He is family..and we don't beat family.

401k

I finally got some money out of my paycheck and matched by my company for my 401k. I will celebrate small victories.

creating your own passion.

Most days I do the same tasks everyday. You have to really love making money just for the heck of it and making your own passion to keep going. I made a bunch of videos and a bunch of facebook posts this week. Hopefully they help people. I know they help me pass the time.

Saturday

Friday was o.k. I went to black dog after work. It was awesome.

complete weirdness

Weird week. Get some bonus money. Fall and hurt myself. I lose my new phone, find the new phone in the random spot in my jeep. My drivers side window was busted out. Yesterday I was going to go out but Karena slept because that is what she does. I went out to eat and met up with Jackie and Sunni. I am not sure if there is an I or not in Sunni. Anyway that was cool. We played music bingo and I knew most of the pop songs. I also met a woman named Kim from kentucky that talked about guzzling mountain dew. So I wasn't upset about the whole day because I know life is "Just a daring adventure" or nothing at all /Helen Keller. The you go. I just ended a blog with a hellen keller quote. Sometimes when you are out you have to lie to yourself or at work you have to lie to your self. When I am selling I am constantly saying "You have nothing to lose. You come into this world naked and leave with a suit on if you are lucky. Everything between there is just memories and providing emotions to others. I think it is funny as well there is a saying when you are single "The universe is just preparing a soulmate for me and I need to patiently wait" I have found if I treat people like "this one could be my soulmate. It is a bunch of b.s. but it is a frame of mind that gets me talking.

I woke up today

Bought some food that is actually good for me. AWESOME JOB RAY FOR TAKING MASSIVE POSITIVE ACTIONS INSTEAD OF JUST EATING SLUDGE. Talked over my vblog yesterday with my friend Phil. I am going to do shorter vlogs.

Up and down day

Yesterday started awesome. I got my bonus for hard work in december. 200 dollars. I went and bought a new phone with that money. A new phone needed to be done. I couldn't run the programs jason and adam run because my phone is so old I am pretty sure I saw jesus flipping it out at the last supper. So yay...Went to ATT and then to Best Buy Then back to ATT. I won't get into the dumbassery that happened at Best Buy. Got the phone started playing with it. It was good. I went to work. I worked with my friend Glenn on having more peace. I had a peaceful day. God is truly a river that if he runs through you he washes away the annoyances of life. I had a good night until 9 and I got cranky. I have made it a point of going out everyday to make new connections to improve chances on a new BAE or just learn more. I met Harly and Abby the fitness instructor yesterday. Success! Always going out and improving social skills or courage to talk to people is important. Walking back to the jeep i slipped on nice and fell on my left shoulder and elbow. It felt like someone took a shotgun and put it point blank on my elbow and pulled the trigger. After dry heaving for awhile I went to the car and took some PM medicine and struggled through the night with the pain. I was thankful i didn't bust my head or my tailbone those hurt worse. Today the arm feels a bit better and I knew after I fell as long as I could move my fingers and squeeze I was probably good to go. IRONY IS I WAS WEARING NON SLIP Sketchers. My new phone didn't get broke either. SUCCESS! I went to work out today in a sling. It was tough but went o.k. I am typing good now so I should be alright for work. 100,000 dollars in one year!

Monday

Monday I woke up and called Raymond. I have anxiety, but it helps when I call him. I went to broadway cafe. I talked to some people and made them laugh. I know how I need to keep my guts to talk to people up. I came home and I made a video for facebook. It wasn't liked by anyone. That is fine. The videos are for me. I went to work. Glenn called me. Glenn is a good man and we have been talking trying to get our issues worked out. I am trying to get people to talk more about their issues so we can have solutions not problems. I got an E-mail from Andrea. She is still sober and is still doing good. I am so grateful I don't have to deal with her on a daily basis anymore. I do wish her rest of her days to be spent getting help and getting thought patterns that free her up to be a decent person. Karena and I still talk I know from listening to the art of charm podcast that woman are attracted to people who don't freely give them love. I am texting her but not over doing it. I know we are just friends, but just in case we aren't I am going by standard romantic protocol and being purposely aloof. I listened to Tony Robbins a-lot today. He helps me get passion about my day. He has a way to stir emotions in me that make me want to get out of bed and do things. There was along time I just didn't do anything but work. Now I wake up and start texting and calling people in AA so we can talk about issues and action to the issues. It has lead to a better life for me. I am grateful for mom and my dad for being together. I just read that even a bad marriage the kids turn out better than a divorce.

Sunday

I had to work today. Sometimes success can be a bummer. I love that it is a bummer. I know other people quit when things are hard. I woke up today and went to a coffee shop on broadway. I made it a point to get out of the house more. I called my friend Glenn. Glenn has been a gift from God. He listens to me go on and on about random things. Tomorrow I am going to make a video about digging the well before you need the water.

The Weekend

I woke up yesterday and decided to take massive action and sot in an AA meeting all day. I met a cute girl named Traci. I always have guts to talk to people because of my background in comedy.

Friday

Friday was weird. I saw my friend Kristen out when I was talking to ladies. I was able to chat it up. I am just starting to go out again and starting to try to get some good networking in.

I got a text from my friend Matt the engineer. I am really sad the way AA works sometimes. People get to hang out and not work the 12 steps and they end up dying of alcohol. I started calling people and sharing what I know and it seems that people respect it.

On new years day I had my glasses, wallet, keys, and cell phone in one place. I respect and appreciate being sober.

I got to buy my parents breakfast. I love them so much but often I feel just down and I am not able to do cool stuff. I was able to buy them breakfast and for that I am grateful.

I got accepted to the CEP program at work. That was cool. I worked myself to death trying to be the best person I could at work.

I have been working out more. I got fat when I was with Andrea. I don't regret that though. I think God wanted me to put all my energy and sacrifice my waistline to do whatever I could for her. I hope she is sober and growing.


Working out has been good. I am getting better at fifa. I have been watching more inspiring Youtube videos.