Monday

Sunday was ok. Monday was terrible I was sick and left after 3 hours of work. I was sick most of the night, I was able to play some video games with cortland and watch videos even though my stomach felt like hell. I was able to clean my jeep out and wash it. I went to an A.A. meeting and I met a couple of cool guys. This guy was really nice and he is leaving to cali. I played F1 2013 and did well. Yesterday sporting kc did not do well. They lost on a last second shot from Real salt lake.

6/19

This week has sucked. I keep on just being present to the moment and doing the next right thing and things will work out. I also focus in on the Royals who are doing amazing. Great defense and great bullpen and they are killing teams. Sporting KC took care of business in the U.S. open cup game. A nice out swinging ball from Benny and Zusi headed the ball home. Tiger is doing awful at the U.S. Open.
In weightlifting news I did just on Wednesday and I still feel hungover from the workout. I know the muscle fibers tear and you will feel like crap because your body needs to repair the muscles, but wow. I feel every bit of 34 years old. Happy Fathers day to my dad. I got him a sandwich.

I have been playing some Destiny for ps4, f1 2013 for xbox 360 and MLB 2014 for Ps4 pretty fun.

Monday and Tuesday

Monday was terrible. I was still able to go to an AA meeting. That is the only thing that went well. The Blackhawks won the Stanley Cup. Tuesday was better. It helps not to fight whatever is going on. Just accept things as they are. Especially traffic.

Wednesday

Wednesday was good. Just trying to always focus on the now and not get into the past or into the future. I went over to Raymonds today to do some 4th step work out of the 12 steps. I did a couple things that I really am proud of. Yesterday there is this attractive lady on my facebook that wanted to go to the flogging molly show. Now I just am done lying to myself. I could try to work the situation to make time with this woman or I could do what I do best which is watch sports and enjoy the A.C. Nothing wrong with making time with a lady, but I think this one would have made it apparent she liked me awhile ago. I am making better choices these days in what I do. I need to do the things I do best like play video games and watch the Royals because when I try to do things like take randoms to concerts expecting some kissy kiss action i get let down.

I lifted weights today. The best way to get in shape is to lift weights. You can do cardio and burn calories but you will burn fat as well your calories burned at rest will be lowered. A person like needs to have a balance of 66 percent weights and 40 percent walking so I keep my muscle up where I am burning calories just sleeping. I made mistep getting down to 197 and being skinny fat when I was low-carbing. Then I went upto 240 because I had no muscle. I am not impressed with my man boobs in the gym but I am accepting of myself. It is all good. I am a 34 year old still trying to lift. That is more than the average fatty at wal-mart. I am having more fun with my body that I ever have because I made a promise just to enjoy what I have.

The Weekend

Sporting KC and the Royals are coming out of their little funk. I had a decent week and was able to get my job done at work. I had fun with my dad watching the Royals.

Friday

Friday. Listening to the Floozies and kicking it. The Cavs can't keep up with Warriors. I am doing curls at work. Thank God they banned cell phones. I can lift some weights and I can also work harder. Everytime I don't eat when I am stressed and don't use my cell phones I feel myself getting stronger. Wimpy is drooling on the floor.

June 1st 2015

The weather has been good. That has been nice. I don't like to be sweaty. I have been lifting more weights. I was really proud of myself because my work banned cell phones and instead of crying like a baby I started doing some simple curls and shoulder presses while I talk. I also am reading some books. It has been a good run as of late. I am doing everything I can to go to AA meetings do the twelve steps and talk to people and my sponsor Raymond. I have a big hole to get out of with bills but as long as I am not freaking out about it I can make progress. There are lots of times I have heavy anxiety where I have to drive, but those times seem to be going down with some treatment and practice not freaking out just because I have some anxiety. The worst is when I have anxiety and I feel bad for awhile and burn up some gas driving around. In my mind eventually I want to be a spiritual rock that I don't get upset unless it is for a reason. My sister and Ben have been awesome to me. I have been getting along with my nephew and the dog here in Lawrence. I am in good standing with my parents. I know how it works though, you get yourself in a bind then you get out then it becomes hard to keep moving forward when there is no drama. I will do my best to make sure everyday I do what it takes to stay sober and to maintain some sort of spiritual connection. I don't know what will happen in the future and I am not positive it will be awesome out the outside, but I know in reality that I will always have what I need. Maybe not everything I want. I have to be good with that. Royals are on a skid but they will be playing better soon. SKC is always awesome.