Friday

Friday I woke up and I had some anxiety. I drove around. My shifter is acting up on my car. That really annoyed me. I remembered to be in the moment and not let it bother my night. I went to an AA meeting as well. I played lots of NHL 2015 and I raced some need for speed shift.

02/25/16

Today at work we put out all the grills outside and covered them. I got a phone and had to scan a bunch of stuff. I talked to a bunch of managers. I worked. I played some video games as well. I came home and I listened to light 70's music. Young people energize me. Especially 25 year old males. Fun times.

My Part-Time job

I unloaded a truck full of plants and trees, I found out where clothes pins are, I restocked shelves. It was good. I came home and played some ps4 and I played f1 2015 and finished 5 out of 21

Need For Speed Shift for X-Box 360

I tried for a couple hours to pass this part in Need for Speed where I take a benz against a porche. I finally had to cheese (cheat in gaming terms) and run the guy off the road. OH WELL COUNT IT. *Peals out*

02/22/16

Went to my part time job today. I went to an AA meeting. I am watching Better Call Saul today. I learned about hedge Trimmers and Generators. I am starting to settle in at my local AA hall here in St. Joseph. It is a different breed of person in St. Joseph compared to Johnson County. I went for a bit of a walk today. Not much in the way of walking, but enough to not feel guilty about not walking.

Sunday Daytona 500.

My dad and I picked up my stuff from my sisters. It was an interesting 9 months hanging out in Lawrence. My favorite memory was the generic Code Red pop from Dillians. We came home. I went to church and I work at my part time job tomorrow. It was a productive Sunday!

02/18/2016

Today was day number two of my part-time job. Today was a bit better. I was able to lighten up. I met a ton of people. Ron, Kathy, Chelsea, Joe, Brycen, Rachael, Rachael, Dwight...One thing I am able to do is meet everyone and be as nice as possible. Also someone brought their dog. I went for two...two mile walks today. I have been walking as much as possible as the weather has been getting better.

Part-Time Job

Started a Part-Time job today. It went well. Grateful just to get out of the house.

02/16/2016

I was able to pay my car note for my 200C so all you out there wanting to help, keep yo money until March 22nd. Today I woke up and I decided to make some videos for facebook. Mostly I want to go in-depth with the book "feeling good" by David Burns. I know my honesty in how down I feel sometimes can help other people. I have the time to dive deep in this book and that can help people on the go. It is also a good way to get over what people think because there are often people who hate on my videos.


Yesterday was fun. I went to an AA meeting, watched KU, and we had a great time watching Better Call Saul.

02/13/2016

Today I woke up and made my bed. I am treating my un-employement like rehab. Wake up. Make your bed, read something spiritual. KU had an amazing game today led by Devonte Graham. Sometimes leadership comes from weird places.


I got a new book. "Feeling good by Dr. Burns" Here is a video of it.

02/12/2016

Today I went down to Lawrence for 3/4 of counseling sessions. It was nice to have someone to talk to that doesn't make things worse. She has some funny stories. I played some farming simulator and brought home some books from my sisters.

02/12/2016

Yesterday I was pretty down day. I didn't want to do anything. I was able to read a bit, watch some informational videos, and watch game of thrones. Even on my worst day I tend to get lots of stuff done. Oh I also watched a little bit of Road House. Here is a video for you. Basically start your day by going all-IN on what you intend to do that day. Stay Hungry, Stay Humble, Stay getting money.

White Hot action

Even though I am not making money. I still have white hot action desire to do well. That is all that matters. Youtube and other videos keep fanning the flames to do well.

2/10/16

Yesterday I got to enjoy a Jayhawks victory. They are getting closer to moving up to the top of the big twelve, but not quite there yet. I have an interview for Home Depot today. I had some anxiety. I always think I know what is going to happen in life. Then it throws me a curve ball. Life is definately a game of tetris and not a game of chess. Back to the money grind. Fees suck. Here is a bit of a reading from my favorite book by Tony Robbins.

02/08/2016

Out of work for awhile. I want to make sure I continue to work out. Look for jobs that are a good fit for me. Also keep reading. I read from the book Master The Money game today. Basically Fees are bad mmmkay. Here is the video blog to go with it.

Looking for a new job.

Yesterday I went to a councilor because I have had severe depression. It hasn't been this bad for awhile. I have hope that if I find a new job that is better for me, that will help with my depression. I also have hope that if I continue to work with doctors I can find an anti-depressant that works. I need to apply at the following places this week.


PUBLIC LIBRARY'S around KC
Missouri Western State University
KU MED
Check into Hotel Management.
Menards.
Then maybe wal-mart or a gas station to get me by. Please Pray that I find the strength to do God's will. Right now it is hard to swallow the fact that my job wasn't working out any longer. I try to focus on the good. That Jason and I made it work for longer than it probably should have and I made it at Alliance Data for 2 years. Please pray I never work at a call center again as well.

I vow to cultivate my resilience and strength through my unemployment. I vow to maintain good spirits. I feel like I am a failure because I couldn't make it work at my job. I know that I am not a failure. Somethings just come to an end. I feel depressed that I have a loss of income. I know that is normal to have depression. Once I start making money again I will feel better, or just having some time pass. I know eventually I will feel better about just making a choice to quit this job and find a new one. That shows some courage and I know that courage is hard to build.

Positives in bad situations

I decided to leave my work because it was too stressful. I feel like I was going to abuse alchohol or drugs if I kept working there. So I took a leap of faith and put in my two-week notice. I was full of fear and sadness. I don't want to lose my car or my good credit. It is out of my hands though. I just need to work on my resume and my cover letter and move forward. People say that I am a good worker so I am sure I will get a chance to prove myself. Some positives to take away is that I have the courage to walk away from something that isn't right for me. I learned a bit how to cope better with the unknown. I was really hit with fear, depression, and worry. I did the best I could to cope with those emotions while still being productive. I always need to stay in Today. That is all anyone has. Whenever my mind pictures me losing something, I just say "Thanks mind" and move on with being productive.