Breaking bad

Breaking Bad was off the chain tonight. Finished up as well as a show can.

Sunday

Chiefs win...Royals win...and life is great. Sporting KC played good on Friday, couldn't catch a break. I worked out about an hour each day Saturday and Sunday. I actually felt pretty good and stretched myself out physically and mentally. Went on the stair machine that makes actual steps. It was hell for 10 minutes, but I finished it begging for mercy at the end. I think something clicks when you do something that sucks like the stair machine. It's like after that waiting in line at hy-vee doesn't seem so bad. It's like well...at least it isn't that damn stair machine.


I always try to work up a feeling of gratitude. Today was no different. I love being American. I love being in Johnson County and not worrying about being shot. I got nice clothes, good relationships, friends that keep me on my toes, and a Library with everything I need. I was glad to see my sister yesterday. I don't actively try to be a good brother, but it is nice to have a working relationship with my family. I come across family's that are completely screwed up and sometimes I have to acknowledge that I can talk to my family. That puts things in perspective.

Wednesday

I woke up early and went for a walk outside. It is so nice I am trying to get out and do as much outside as possible.

Tuesday

Tuesday was ok. The main thing I had going for me is I went for 2 mile walk. I haven't been working out as much lately. I still try to eat well. Eating well really does help me get to work, gives me energy to pray, gives me energy to give back. So that is that. Royals won yesterday. It is probably too little too late for them, but they have had an awesome season anyways.

Sunday and a Royal Grand Slam.

Sunday started out with Manchester United getting bombed by Manchester City. I then went for a drive over to the K. It was busy as hell so I took a right and drove around some parkways in Kansas City. It was a beautiful day and it was fun to drive this day. I then went to watch some people I know play softball. I came back and watched the Royals win on a glorious grandslam by Justin Maxwell. I had pretty good day. I am hoping I am relaxed and refreshed tomorrow for work. Last week I really struggled to keep putting together working days. Albert called me today, but didn't want to play music. My band really played lots of hours, but now we are less than inspired. I almost bought the new grand theft auto today, but really decided to finish Mass Effect 2. Wow what a game and what an ending to a game.

Royals almost out of it and Friday and Saturday rehash.

I went out to the Royals game yesterday. It was fun even though the Royals lost. There was a ton of people out. Sporting KC won as well. Two great goals by C.J. Sapong. We then went out to the Mizzou bar Harpos and watched Mizzou win. It was a fun night. I went to the plaza art fair and Jason sang opera at them and I yelled at people. It was fun being awesome.

Thursday

This week I have felt a bit burned out. To cap it off today seemed to take forever for the chiefs to play. I went over to adams and we ate a bunch of food and had a great time. The Chiefs won and it was a really good time. I felt great and I had a great time. I do love having friends with nice houses and buffalo dip. I will now go through my chiefs list of who is good !WOOOO! and who sucks !SUCKS!

!WOOO! Houston-Hali-Berry-Charles-Avery-Poe-Derrick Johnson-Andy Reid.
!Sucks! Mcluster-Fisher-Hudson
!Meh! Alex Smith-Bowe-Tyson Jackson


I could probably write a book about my own burnout experiences, but basically when I focus for long periods of time for days-weeks at a time I get to a point where if I don't take time away and do something silly I do actual damage to my brain. I start doing stuff like forget my phone places...or roll up my windows...I also tend to get real salty with people. I am getting better with dealing with burnout. There was a time where I would call in sick days at a time at work because if I had to do one more hour of work I was going to lose my sanity. Now I can feel it coming on and I talk to a boss and try to get away and watch some beach videos or do breathing exercises for how long it takes. This week I really putting coming home and mentally relaxing to the front because I really needed some time away from work/guitar/random stuff. I am feeling better today after making sure I watched some beach meditation videos on youtube. Obviously mental health is very important to me because it is my understanding that ego-pride-greed sometimes push people to far mentally and without a break it can be dangerous to your sanity and you can do things like yell at people or wreck your car. So The good news is that I am doing more praying and meditation- bad news is I haven't got laundry done and I still haven't gotten to play some video games that are fun. Oddly enough there are some activities I do that are serious even though they should be fun. When I play guitar I really focus and lock in and try to get better. Football is obviously like a religion to me, also some video games can be serious and take focus. I strive more and more to add silly fun games in to give myself a mental break...or a silly movie can be good as well. Overall I have a better sense of what is healthy for me physically and mentally and I strive to have a balance of service to others and to feel good. I sometimes take pride when things aren't going well...to just say hello to people, be professional, and hold doors for people. Also donating and tipping people well is something that I do to really feel good about myself providing a positive vibe to this world. It is sometimes frustrating because I read so many success books, so many nerd books, and I seem like I am not successful with money. I just have to keep it simple and ask myself "Do I treat people well?" "Do people around me benifit?" I really strive to do well and have my experiences mean something to other people. I love to wake up also and I have one thing I did really well so I wake up feeling good about my life. Lots of times it just says. "Take positive action in your life and strive to be selfless"

Monday

Monday my Dad, My mom, and my uncle Mike went out to the Royals game. They won in awesome fashion. Been a good sports run with The Chiefs, MO WEST, and the Royals all playing well. Jamie Carrol sucks.

Saturday

Saturday I woke up. I went for a walk of two miles. I went and ate lunch with my dad at outback steakhouse in the legends. I drove back to St. Joseph to hang out and go to the Missouri Western game that night. I went to the game and Missouri Western beat Missouri S and T by 60 points. I drove back to Lenexa. Hung out at a closed black dog for awhile, then called it a night. The day went by quickly. The Royals won a great game. Now it is onto Sunday.

Friday

Felt run down most of the day. Drank a ton of pop and got my crap together enough to work hard. After work went out with some guys and ladies for a bit. Pretty chill night. It was a beautiful night out tonight.

Thursday

Thursday I went to work. Worked very hard to create value to the company I work for. Then I went and drug all my music equipment down to westport. Albert wasn't there and it was just Ryan and I. We sounded crappy because we haven't played for a week. It was good just making sure we played and got together. That is the most important thing is we consistantly get together and just play. We worked through the opening weirdness and I had fun. I recorded it on mp3 and it sounds pretty lame, but atleast I got something on mp3 and atleast I was able to play something. It is better than playing video games all night and having nothing to show for it.

Looking forward to seeing my parents this weekend. Royals, Sporting KC, Missouri Western, and The Chiefs are all in action.

Royals

The Royals are two games out of the playoff race. I will be honest though...every game from here on out is a playoff game. Bad Boys what you going to do when the Royals come for you?

I went for a walk today and lifted weights. Went to black dog with Jason. All is good.

USA WINS

Looks like the USA is going to the WORLD CUP.

Royals and USA

Yesterday's loss was so awful. I am just going to leave it for Rany J to break it down. USA SOCCER plays tonight. They need to win to punch their ticket to the world cup. Besler is not playing because of the worst call of all time. Google it if you are interested. Nothing really going on tonight. Just going to watch the Royals and USA soccer. I am sitting in my red chair right now. It feels glorious.

Monday

Wow was Monday crappy. I did what I always do and suck it up. Being an adult is doing work even when you feel crappy. My dad's birthday was today. He is 59 years old and he has been an awesome dad. What an asset it has been for my parents to send me to college and to a private high school. I would probably be all wacked out on crank if I went to a public school. I made it through the day then I went to black dog. I went up to my friend who is a girl and went up to her man friend and started a conversation. I won't fill in the conversation, but I want to make sure I put down this down. Nadal won the US OPEN in tennis. Chiefs won yesterday and breaking bad is awesome.

Saturday Night

Saturday was boring through the day. I thought my dad's birthday party was on Saturday, but it wasn't. I then thought Albert wanted to play guitar, but he forgot about us playing. I don't know what is up with my bandmates lately. They have been flaking, I also got interest from a punk band. So I will continue to make strides to elevate my bass playing. I moved through those random events and got settled in. There wasn't any football that was real interesting. I cleaned a bit and I watched some football plays here and there. My friend Engineer Matt texted me, but he didn't want to get off the couch. I eventually drove around and went to dollar general and got some junk food for the chiefs game. I then got fed up with being in the apartment and took off to westport to watch the sporting kc game. Once in Westport I had issues getting into the mood of watching Sporting KC. The field looked crappy and the play was sloppy. Sporting KC eventually went on to win 3-0. The Royals won as well. After that I met up with Bryce and Besands bacholor party.

I was chatting with "The Birdman" He goes and gets a drink and this Bachlorette party comes up to me and asks me if I have a condom. Now I know I have a condom in a random spot in my wallet, but the last time I checked it was broken and gross. I didn't really hesitate and I thought this was as good as time as any to unload this opened condom. So without missing a beat I tell this girl "Sure..here you go!" and I give her this nasty opened condom. She freaks out a bit and goes "OH SICK IS THIS USED AAAHHHHH" I pretty much laughed at it and it was sweet the way it worked out. She eventually calmed down and the rest of the bachlorette party was forced to calm down or else face the fact that a random guy with a random opened condom threatened their entire night.


I talked to Besand, RJ, Lossen, Chung, and Moe. It was a pretty fun. I talked to lots of people. I talked to this really cute girl Kenna who I have seen out before and she didn't like me the first time I talked to her, but she thinks I am friends with this guy Ryan, which I have no idea who Ryan is. I just went with it and talked to her for awhile. I talked to lots of people. I think this really helps me get used to being around people on Monday when I work. If I am not around people for awhile then I go to work I tend to be shell shocked. I do love to be alone though. I thought it was interesting that even when I was having a good time I started the conversation about hours of work put in on a project and my level of focus. Byrdman talked about how he took the act 4 times to get the outcome I wanted. That kind of effort was a bit foreign to say the least to me when I was his age. I think about all the time how success really does start at a young age. If you want get into special programs and get the best teaching and best education and special chances at life, you have to make the grades early. You have to have the means to get there. Some people who are poor will never even get a chance to make middle class just because they can't afford good education. It is called the Matthew effect or like I just simply call it "The Rich get Richer."

Random Nascar note. Dale Jr made the chase.

Bass practice log

I practiced my warm up routine and About a girl...Push Me back...and a new bass line today. I saved my bass line to the folder on my laptop.

USA sucked and so did The Royals

Friday during the day I really worked hard to focus and try to get my mental dexterity up. I can tell now how crappy my mental focus is during long periods of work or trying to pay attention. I think I can work my brain like a muscle and really try to stay on tasks even though they might not feel good. I really can see now it isn't always about the work in front of you. If I can build my mental focus I can play guitar for longer and I can work longer and make more money. It will be a goal of mine to be able to focus long periods of time on whatever I am doing so I can keep growing my brain power.

I am really studying Malcom Glidewell's book outliers. I can see now the B.S. that is people saying "Oh I rose from nothing to be successful. People who are successful take advantage of so many breaks and they make their own breaks as well. I really caught a break going to Leblond. You could be the dumbest person in that school and still have a pretty good shot at making middle class. Thanks mom and dad for those sacrifices! I also caught a break being too dumb to realize how hard it is to move away. I am glad I got away from St. Joseph where you have to sink or swim. I learned so many lessons the hard way. Obviously I caught a huge break finding Raymond. I needed a dude I could relate too and it took his calmness to get me to realize that praying really is the way to cope with life. So is meditation, but I always strive to get hours of praying in a week. I really had to see that if I continue to only focus on myself then I will never be happy. Man is supposed to help other people. I think it is in my DNA for sure to think of other people and try to make sure everyone is fed. I also think that people...no matter how annoying or ugly...deserve someone to talk to.


10,000 rule is a huge one. I can see now if you can get to 10,000 hours of focus and stressful direction, you could really be a master at your craft. You have to really be honest with yourself and change and grow. Hopefully Moostakas gets to 10,000 hours of hitting.

Segway into the Royals. They were crappy tonight. U.S.A. Soccer was also crappy. That was a bummer. Jason and I had free tickets to the Royals game and we watched them get killed, we went out and also saw USA get killed. I talked to a bunch of ladies. I made it a point to go up to the hottest girl I saw and talk to her. She didn't like me, but the point was to keep my courage strong and to realize that what people think of you don't matter. I always strive to be friendly with people and to talk to people and always try to grow my skills with people. I think long periods of being with people and working with them provides great value to society.

I am starting to feel better about myself and the things I am trying to do. Lots of times I am too tired to feel good about myself, but I take notes into my mp3 player about the people I help and the work I put in. I noticed tonight that I really have good information and I really put in long hours with people. I was called stupid and fat lots in my life, but when I listen to mp3's of myself talk about helping people and being able to execute tasks...I can say that I sound like a smart and sharp dude. I mean I really got called stupid and dumb lots in my life I got called smart or sneaky smart by a couple people a couple years ago, but now listening to the mp3 I am like...wow this is good and in depth. I really think you are who you surround yourself with. There are so many mental layers in the mind and growth is so slow that it is hard to tell what you are getting done with your life, but I can say that writing about goals...taking good notes...and asking tough questions... are good steps into executing your life goals. I have tons of life goals, one of which is to be a respected musician. People are starting to want to play more because I am professional. I also have a decent ear for what sucks and what doesn't.

I am not sure why MP3 is showing up as a mis-spelled word. That is weird. I realize that my blog is not so much tales as it is about me hammering home basic ideas that help me to get up and provide value to society. I guess Iam good with that.

The Strokes

Comedown machine.

Thursday

Thursday. Thursday I went to work. I tried to work on being of focus for longer. I tried to not let what psychologists call "the monkey mind" take over. The monkey mind is where one thought leads you to another thought and gets you off focus. It was a productive day. I was very burned out after it was over. I just wanted to get home and lay down as I was mentally drained. I was able to get home and execute laying down. I then spent the next 4 hours watching football then taking breaks to wash clothes. I got two loads done. The Griffons won on a late score. The Griffons MIAA game was very sloppy but down the stretch was a very good game to watch. I will never understand why late in the game UCM had 4th and 2 . If they go for it they can end it. Instead they kick the ball back to the griffons and they lose the game. UCM had terrible penalties. I would guess the coach says "We have to have faith in our defense" well your defense is going to need a stop either way. The Griffons have never been terrible at football, and it is cool to really see them doing well. St. Joseph is lucky to have them good job Griffs! I made sure to ask Byrdman about his Mo Bears. I know how he loves his Bears and how he spent many days at Remmingtons watching the MO Bears.

I see the Urge has a new album coming out. They also have some show dates. I got to listen to a bit of the newest strokes album yesterday. That seemed interesting. Planning on going to The Royals game tonight and outback steakhouse on saturday.

Kei Kamara leaving

Kei Kamara leaves Sporting Kansas City to go to an English Championship team. The champions league is below English Primer league. So it was a sad day as he is second in the league in goals. Soccer is a business and I think they were selling high. I wish he was there for the stretch run, but I never thought he would come back from overseas anyways. Royals lost yesterday which sucks. They need to win every game here on out to have a chance.

Black Dog Wednesday

The mosquito's were horrible tonight. Plus there were a bunch of nerds talking about Harry Potter. NERDS! I heard the Beatles played at a strip club for 7 days a week for 8 hours a day that's why they are so good......I guess thats why my band likes strip clubs so much.

Wednesday

Wednesday I woke up and went for a walk. I learned how important it is to not multi-task. I learned how if you multi-task that your IQ goes lower than if you are smoking weed. I am trying to apply what I learn from Anthony Robbins and some other guys. I really try to focus longer and longer and not be so ADD. Checking your phone and distracting yourself leaves yourself un-productive. I know if I keep focusing I can really grow that skill. There is lots of stuff that I learn, but I just can't execute it. All I can do though each day is try. I went out with Jason today to Black Dog. Mattie and Maggie was there. Matti is off the chain looks wise, but she doesn't seem interested which it is cool.


-Focus on one thing at a time and get it done. GSD Get stuff done
-Stop multi-tasking and telling yourself that you are good at it. It is a proven fact that humans do shitty with this
-Cultivate skill and if I am aware put down the cell phone. When I go out to black dog I try to still work on skills like eye contact or wit or humor. I can't do that if I am sitting in the corner playing candy crush.

Gut check time!

Gut check time this morning! Was I going to get up and do work, or be a wuss bag in my own head that I was working. I got up and got my ass moving and went to work. Made sure I was productive I got more things done than I expected.

Small chunking....Small chunking is when you make sure you give yourself credit for doing small things. You have to keep yourself feeling good at your small victories.

I was able to eat some vegetables yesterday which is good. I still make some good choices about food. I strive to eat better every day, but I have to have some balance between enjoying my food and eating well. There is a balance there, but I am always trying to get healthier and healthier. With that health I can do more like work all day then get home and watch motivational videos and cat videos at night. Maybe even motivational cat videos.


Yikes. I am watching video about distraction. It is very sad the way that people lose focus and are unable to build it back up. Texting and social media and myself being not focus has cost me the skill of being focused. I have really practiced on being focused in the last couple years. Trying to get through 90 minutes of work before a break and I know my phone and sports can wait. I know if I cultivate my focus I can be more successful as well. I also know that no one wants to apply this idea of "work on one thing then check your texts and emails later in the day" because it isn't very fun. Humans love to be distracted by cat youtube videos.

Labor Day Monday

Albert and Ryan wanted to play guitar today. I went down and brought some pop for the boys. We played for a bit. I made sure to execute getting together and spending some quality time with friends on Labor Day. I also made it a point to get Albert's video uploaded. He sure likes his videos and it is the least I can do since he has Ryan and I over all the time to hang out and play guitar.

Sunday Morning

Thinking about last night at black dog. There was a lady sitting at black dog, she was cute. So I go up to here and go in "Grab Bag" style. Going in grab bag is not having a plan our outcome in mind when I talk to people. She was using a calculator that was similar to ones that I used back in College. So I commented on her calculator. She was luke warm towards me, I was glad I just was able to execute talking to this lady without thinking too much. So Jasen walks in and we talk for awhile and joke around. Jason notices the girl, but doesn't say anything. Then another guy comes up to this girl and talks to this lady with the calculator. The guy leaves, jason goes to the girl "That is a silly way to talk to a lady, opening by talking to a calculator" I bust up laughing because the girl sees me and I can read her mind she is about ready to say "That is what that guy told me as well" So I beat her to the punch. "That means I beat her to what she is going to say" I say "Sugar...I just needed a way to talk to you, so it was either your star wars shirt, or your calculator. So then Jason and I turn to each other and say.

Calculator.

I am downloading zune software to both my desktop PC and my laptop. Now I can sync Shinedown to my phone and zuneHD on two devices.

Hit the key points

Played guitar and drums on Saturday with Ryan. Played guitar and drums with Albert on Sunday. Went to guitar and spent some quality time with Albert. Spent some quality time with Kurtis. Went to black dog with Jason and Adam. Had some laughs. Went to to watch my favorite cover band in the world "THE STOLEN WINNABAGOS" I had a good time. It is very nice out tonight. I formatted both of my computers and they are working great. I don't miss any of the gigs of music on here because I don't really listen to music much through my laptop. Royals win. 5.5 out of the wildcard spot.


I went out with Kurtis and had a great time for his birthday on Saturday. I wanted to make sure I spent some quality time with him because it is his birthday. Treating friends is pretty important if I can realize how important it is. Lots of time I am wrapped up in myself. I saw Kurtis wanted to have people out through text and I made sure to cut out some time so we can go out and chat. He is a good guy and he is doing amazing things with computer games and if he has the work ethic and borderline unhealthy obsession and focus he could go far.


I have been obsessed with this idea of hard work and focus, because I think that most of us are average and it is just hard work and focus at doing one thing well that gets people to a higher level. I see people who are awesome at programming computers and I know they have been doing it since they are six years old. I am hoping I can get lots better at bass guitar if I keep on making it a priority and work at it. I have already been asked to be in two bands, so that makes me feel good that I don't suck too bad. Also I a girl told me yesterday that I was good with talking to girls and that was cool as well because I am a natural introvert and it has been a process for me to be able to go up to people sober and start normal conversations.