Serve that shit up America!

This weekend was filled with Joy, excitement, and a Mizzou win. I went to over to RJ's where everyone was having fun and playing golden T! GOOD TIMES GREAT OLDIES 101.1 the fox! I am sure that Vinnie picked tried to pick Rik Smits at some point. I went out for Matts birthday to a place in weston. The Irish band said "Waitresses will bring you what you want if you ask" I replied

Bring me vagina, come on AMERICA SERVE THAT SHIT UP!

Lost Update season 1 episode 13 cliche #2

Ok the asian that suddenly speaks english was the first cliche, I just witnessed the second cliche. Somebodys heart stopped and a doctor was pounding on the newly dead person saying a bunch of shit until a nurse or another doctor or someone else (Possibly someone from atchison) grabs them and stops them. I never understood this, keep beating the newly dead persons heart until you are content. In a TV show though it's like you only get 2 minutes to pump a persons heart when they are in cardiac arrest, that is followed by random pounding, that is followed by screaming "Come back" then someone else grabs the person and preclaims "it's over!" like a boxing match where one person (possibly rob calloway) is getting pounded. If I was in that room I would be like "Punch that heart as much as you want! I always wanted to kick the shit out of that motherfucker anyway, here is your chance!"

Go local team and community college

So football opened up yesterday. Missouri Western won their game, which is good! Yes, a couple years ago I stopped really caring who wins or losing and just enjoyed the fact I wasn't working, or paying 400 dollars for repairing some shit on my car, or paying for education I don't work. That would be sweet if I ran a college, I would just drop you off on messanie street and make you earn a living and a apartment any way you can. Nothing gets you fired up more than eating at a soup kitchen (it's breadstick friday!) I am aware after extended studying of Neuro Lingistic programming that life has it's ups or downs and you might have good shit going on around you, but your brain is going to be in a depressed state, so just hang in there because things around you might go to shit. So if you feel bad just hang in there like those cat posters, because your brain will turn inself around eventually. Or you could just put quarters in peoples parking meters so they don't get a ticket. You know people are idiots right? Well I will give you one example of how I do something that doesn't even make sense, I always wash my hands and get worried about germs and shit, but I don't think twice about putting diet mountain dew top of the can all up in my mouth, or 2 liter bottle, I suck on 2 liter bottles and god knows what kind of shit they have been rolling around in. My only hope is that since diet mountain dew is neon green that it is so toxic that it kills germs before it gets in my body and saturates my organs in awesome! I drank mountain dew so much one time I actually BMX'D on a skateboard over Price Chopper.

true story

Today On Lost 09/01/10

Today on Lost episode 9 Season 1. They are still lost! The fat guy is still really fat! I am waiting for that Fat dude to start losing some weight! I predict they will get found by a rescue squad by episode 11 or so. Moose Tacos looks really good for the Royals. I really hate the Royals. They are the worst franchise in the world, maybe even west of atchison, but I can't stop watching them. Anyway this dude Moose Tacos hit eleventy billion homeruns (wait a second, I am watching lost...oh I thought maybe they were rescued, but it was just a corona commercial) Anyway Moose Tacos is going to be the Royals Pujols, WRITE IT DOWN ON THE CHALKBOARD OF GREEN!!! VINNIE. Moose Tacos sounds like some kind of girlfriend I would have in 2006 after a week long bender at Jerry's bait shop. Speaking of fat people I shouldn't be having sex with, the fat guy from Lost...the only position he could play in baseball would be First base, no way he would have the range to play any other positions, and his knees couldn't play catcher, especially if he played on Field Turf.

Update. The fat guy just made a golf Course for the Islanders (not the new york sub .500 hockey team, but the people in the show lost) Anyway he thinks this will help them not be stressed out. That fat guy doesn't know shit about Golf! It is stressful!

Bryce just txting me that the writers have a lack of vision for Lost, because they haven't been found yet.

Noelle Just txted me and said she has a hunch they will be lost for awhile, she is wrong they will be found by episode 13. YOU CAN PUT THAT ON THE BOARD OF GREEN VINNIE!

Damnit now this Asian chick on lost conviently speaks english after 3 episodes. I hate that shit, they do this all the times in show, some dude doesn't speak english then after 5 episodes they magically know english and it is like OH YOU KNEW ENGLISH ALL ALONG HAR HAR HAR. The Manager from the hit baseball movie "Mr. Baseball" did ths as well. The Manager didn't know english or what Tom Selleck and his mustache were talking about, but in the middle of the Dragons Pennant chase, he suddenly knows english.

(Saints wrapup 08/26/10) Birds wrapped in bacon

To be a true pimp or leader, you have to do things out of the social norm. So I went out yesterday to Saints. There was this dude who looked like a cross between ZZ TOP and a truck driver. He was just a truck driver. Everyone was looking at him because he looked like he belonged at Hammerheads bar in st joe, not trendy Saints. I knew the dude was a good ole boy and I sat at his table chatted. You could tell that people were now like, oh this dude is friends with him he must not be a crazy ass truck driver. So I kept being my self, just saying crazy shit to people. "Hey nice skirt! What is that called?" (There is a skirt called a jersey skirt, which looks like a girl is wearing a trashbag) Anyway the way to Maximize my value was to be with a dude who obviously didn't belong. His name was Jim and from what I learned about him, he liked to blast birds out of the sky, then give thanks to the lord for letting the birds get blasted, then he liked to wrap the birds in bacon and eat the birds. Now I don't care if you wear a popped collar and affliction shirts, or you a trendy hipster, you are going to love a bird wrapped in bacon, it is a scientific fact that birds wrapped in bacon = awesome. That is actually a good name for a band.
Birds wrapped in bacon

Changing State (moose sounds)

Your feeling on, the world is your funyon, shit is going well, then it goes to hell in a handbasket. Or you just feel like trash, out of place, nothing feels right. Here is the deal...you probably are just trying something new, or you are out of state. Now the masters of inner game (Anthony Robbins and Raphael Demonpenz Miller) all agree. You have to change your stage. To quickly do this, cuss real loud, clap, or do something crazy. You might look like an idiot to other people, but other people have nothing to do with your goals for life. When I am feeling out of state I ususally put Moose Horns on my head and make a Loud moose mating call to get me out of my head. It gives me a good chuckle (no one is funnier to me..than me) it gets me to stop caring what other people think. My number goal is to be the biggest pimp of all time, and I am not talking about making out with a bunch of chicks...Ok it does involve making out with a bunch of chicks. I want rappers to pour bags of funyons on strippers, and wear chains made of the awesome snack Bugles. That is when you know I have made it to #1 pimp status

Ray's self titled cd

If I made a album it would probably be a rock/emo. type of album.... So I give you the sneak peak of the upcoming songs to "The Rocktapus is born"

1. The Pregnant game is a game of inches
2. The love tap (move your face dance remix)
3. Santa doesn't come to your house if you have 238 in your number
4. Can't pay the rent and I blame Street Fighter 2
5. Sexually pleasing the olsen twins (you got it dude!)
6. Latino's don't steal (much) ft. Santana
7. Going broke saving money.
8. Making more money now than when I was workin
9. Farmers love dem ho's...but I don't
10. Asking permission is harder than than appolgizing
but my Love is harder than both of those and by Love
I mean my penis (The extended version.

Bonus track Humpty dance w/vinnie