Investing time in Music

awe yeah...I up and did it. The Mars Volta Amputechture is on my play list today. I am not going to lie, some of the section losely sound like a cat being gutted and a 3 year old playing a saxaboom.

Today on Lost 09/22/10

They really need to change the lane to "Ok We know where we are at sort of" after the first season. They really know their way around the island, so they aren't exactly Lost. Wait the fat kid is now talking in Korean. They are punishing him by making him listen to steely dan.

There aren't any good chain gangs

I have never been to prison, but I imagined if I was sending a letter to my mom from prison it would go something like this.
There ain't no good in an evil hearted woman, and you can't go passing bad checks in atchison, don't tie a trout line in a pond in avenue city, and they're ain't no good chain gangs.

Wow It is crazy

Thanks to my sponser I am working hard on some area's. When you feel like shit, you drink. Pretty simple, there was alot of shit I let go without dealing with, and it turns out all those little things are what kicked my ass. It could be as simple as someone not using your idea, or not using your joke, not using whatever it is you suggested. I thought I solved this problem when I learned how to force myself to Sarge, but it turns out that I only solved the problem of giving a hoot what hot girls think. (I don't know why I used hoot, maybe it is that new movie with owls) the level of my resentment runs deep. I still find myself obsessing over what some people think or just about some people in general. I guess thats the what I do. I obsess about Alcohol, obsess, about girls, obsess over crazy shit. There is hope though, I turn my actions and thoughts over to what is right, or as AA puts it. Turns my will thoughts my life over to God. I know God wouldn't want me to waste time and energy over people who don't get two hoots about me. So I take that action to pray, medidate or do pushups. This has taken months of work but I find myself getting back into the actions. I know one way to not give a crap hen you are in a club is to ask your buddy "what animal noise can I make" then you make the noise your buddy says. That way you get out of your state and into a state that you are focusing on having a good time. So I like to make loud moose noises. "Imma moose and I don't care!"

I want to punch someone...probably you.

Well I have been working with a sponser to quit wanting drink to deal with my problems. I will be honest. The first couple weeks suck. Atleast in college there is some kind of outlet to the amount of suckiness, but this sucks trying to go to work, then getting off work then talking why you are so pissed off and trying to solve it. I am working on my ego right now, humbling myself, wow I feel better just writing some of this out! I have to give it up to the people who work recovery programs it is alot of work! Some of my goals include, handling the fact that I still give a shit what certain people think, I want to enjoy doing the stuff I used to love, but without booze. IDK I know if I work it will be ok, if I don't it won't be ok. It's amazing the amount of anger I can carry around, I could seriously break this keyboard over a squirels face outside right now. It's this kind of anger that is driving me to get help, because people shouldn't feel this way.

Sarging

No sarging report lately, for those of you who don't know. To sarge is to talk to every girl and try make them your girlfriend. You have to do this for every girl employing the 3 second rule. The 3 second rule is, you see a girl you sarge... pretty simple. I have songs to help fellow Kansas City Sargers. Seak and Sarge. Hide and go sarge. Sarge in charge. Anyway it is always just fun to have someone to sarge with, but I am like a falcon. Sarging alone.... I was getting pretty good at sarging awhile back, but it got old after 2 or 3 months. I hope to spend a couple hours getting back into the sarge scene one of these days before I am the old guy at dollar general hitting on the cashier.

Snack Cake addiction 09/09/10

Step 1 realizing that you are powerless over Snack Cakes including swiss rolls and Zebracakes.

I always new I had a snack cake problem, but I never knew the extent until last week I had two snack cakes when everyone had one, then we went to a party, and I had to bring extra snack cakes, because I was worried that there wasn't going to be enough snack cakes. My story starts out like everyone else, of course we would sneak some of our dads snack cakes outside his lounge, it was fun at first, but after college, just binging on snack cakes isn't funny anymore. Today I admit I am powerless over snack cakes and I am a funyon user.

Bryce: One of the LFO members died
Ray: He is in a funkier place
Bryce: true

Ray: I had the craziest Sex dream yesterday
Crabtree: I hope I wasn't in it
Ray: You had the french tickler
Crabtree: sounds about right.