thursday

Thursday I was of service by cleaning Andrea's house. It is nice to live my life with spiritual principles. I feel great when I put other people in front of me. I watched football yesterday night. I felt a bit better as of late. I am still going to the doctor on Monday to see if I need a re up on my meds. I went bowling yesterday at park lanes

Thursday

I am glad yesterday is over and I am glad I scheduled an appointment for Monday. I hope to get my meds adjusted because I have had one big panic attack the last couple days. I was able to go to an AA meeting with my roommate which was productive. I used to drink the anxiety away, but I was taking the attack the most positive way as possible. Jason, Adam and I were all at the meeting also I signed up to speak with Adam on November 1st. I am a bit worried I have to work that day but I will find out shortly if I have to work or not. The Royals. What a magical run. Speed and defense. They are amazing at pitching and defense. 4 more games and we are world champions. It is starting to sink in more that they are champions.

Wednesday

Wednesday The Royals Win and they are going to the World Series. It hasn't sunk in yet. I have had horrible anxiety and stress lately, so it is hard to be happy. I go to the doctor monday hopefully we get something done. On the good though the Royals defense and pitching is amazing.

Tuesday

Tuesday I woke up with a nervous edge. I was able to use the nervous energy to go on a 2-mile walk. It was o.k. A bit windy. I then went to the Library and picked out some books. I posted about things. I then when to Hy-Vee and got some chicken. There were people there talking about the Royals and Halloween at the same time. Very weird to say the least. I got some chicken and I came home and took a nap and I am getting ready for work tonight. I am hopeful I get better medicine so I don't have to be so edgy or so anxious right from when I wake up and I have a doctors appointment for it Monday. On one hand being on edge gets me moving, on the other hand it makes life pretty miserable until I get some things done and such. Oh well I will keep getting better and take steps to make my life better.

Penguins update

The Penguins have came out with 2 wins to start to the season. Sutter is my favorite hard working player on the team. They beat Anaheim and The Maple Leafs. 2 games 2 wins is a great start. Fluery looks crappy between the pipes again. Hope he gets his act together this year. He has a habit of coming out of goal and getting embarrassed as an easy goal goes in while he is flopping around behind the net. Go Pens.

Frustrated with some hope.

I have been frustrated with the way I have been feeling lately. I have decided to take action an go to the doctor on Monday to see if I need a change in medicine. My life is not life or death and I shouldn't be having panic attacks or just feeling down so much. I have been doing my best not to let it show in my work or the way I treat people, but I know I am not doing enough to see if there are better options out there to treat anxiety or depression. So I better set aside some money this week to pay the doctor. Kudos for me for taking massive action on the matter and I know now it is up to me to make myself happy no one will do it for yourself.

Work...work is good. I am lower to middle rankings. It has been messed up, but I keep praying and keep taking action trying to be laid back.

Andrea is good. She handles things with grace and class that many people wouldn't. She has worked hard to pause when angered or upset and be able to make better choices. Many people just act out like children. She is a miracle and a testament that your personality and your character can change if you work at it. Sometimes you revert to type and go back to the old way of acting, but you can always improve of patience and pausing to the point were you become better at it.

Patience....you have to be patient to fish.

I went swimming and sat in the hot tub today at 24-hour fitness I want to get my moneys worth.

Giving back

It doesn't matter if it is an extra dollar in the basket or helping others. Or just putting a smile on someone else's face. I always love giving back. Today I was at Hy-Vee and I told the workers making the chicken that I appreciate them busting their butt. The man just smiled and said. I do it because people love chicken and without my hard work people wouldn't get the chicken they deserve.