Le Negra De Mamba

Ole Kobe has been struggling lately. Where is his legs...is he done? The lake show needs to go through Gosal for the time being. Take some weeks off Mamba!

Kingpin vs Dumb and Dumber

2 heavyweight comedy movies. I recently posted a poll at chiefsplanet and not surprising that Dumb and Dumber was picked over kingpin. 22 votes for Dumb and Dumber 19 for KingPin. They are both classic...Jim Carrey....Legend....Bill Murry is Epic....two fight scenes with 90's athletes. Seabass was played by Cam Neeley at hockey player...skidmark was played by Roger Clemmons.

Big gulps huh.....................................well, see ya later!

She said handsome, not handless.

New Years. always overated.

Man I remember for a good 12 year span people asking me 10 weeks in advance what I was doing for New Years. The answer was always the same, getting drunk and waiting for "MY TIME TO SHINE" the truth is you chance to shine is waiting for you whenever you wake up and give your gifts to the world. Instead of awe shit 8 hours of bullshit at work today. You should pray to God. Dear God...let me give my gifts of funny and random pop culture to the world with awesomeness and smileyness. That would be funny if on new years they had Katie Holmes and Dick clark both on tv at the same time. That way together they could have one working face.

D-bowe is a beast and society is in danger.

Ok first of all. Congrats to D-bowe to making the pro-bowl. He worked his ass off and his ability to play into a team concept is helping his dreams come true. It reminds me of myself. If I go out and try to be a Dane Cook look at me type of comedian or a selfis blogger. I feel like shit and don't get anything done. If I wake up and I try to move society forward I feel great.

So I have been still playing with internet dating game trying to really find that sweet spot between nice guy and total asshole and I realize that hot girls really take shit way to seriously. Yeah yeah it is common knowledge that you are supposed to turn up the jerk for the hot girls. I emailed a couple girls with these lines.

"you are so brown that I had to turn up the brightness on my screen to see you" Girl number 1

"Chinease people are taking our jobs. America Fuck yeah!"

the gils got all bent out of shape and wrote me long emails about how one is native american and the other is chinese. So I guess where I am at right now is well you hav to be a jerk to even get a reply, but you have to reel them after you get them fired up. I honestly don't want a girl like that, I just want to calibrate my online game. I will probably appoligize to these girls because I don't mean to be an asshole. I just want a girl that doesn't take shit so seriously. How cool would it be like

HEY CHINEASE PEOPLE TAKING ARE JOBS! and the girl replies
HAHA AMERICANS GET A JOB LOSER!

People take shit too seriously.

Been playing Internet dating sites like video games

Careful.....the sites are addicting. I forget that these people are actual troubled woman that can't find a man...so they are looking to cling on to someone....Anyway for some reason I find cussing right off the bat gets responses. I mean girls don't know what they want anyway, but you really have to surprise them with your open intro like this.

" I read your profile, but it is boring, you need to use fucking and piss and words like that in your profile"

I get a response which is more than

Hi...I am raphael.... I will give you all my money

Cheap is fun

I like coming into a coffee house late so a girl pays for her own coffee then to ask her "Why didn't you buy me a coffee that is rude!"

Willow the movie

Thank you for my Zune and Crabtree for being a nerd. I figure I would put on my wizzard hat and scarffff and watch Willow.
Here is the post I had on chiefsplanet.com

just finished up watching the hit movie "Willow" from the 80's. What a strange time for midgets.... I mean this was before the politcal correctness of the 90's and before MINI ME made Midgets loveable and cute. So in the movie it just looks like a bunch of Midgets running around smelling like sausage for 2 hours. Iceman from Top Gun is in it, but he doesn't bite really hard at top cruise in this, which sucks, you figure every movie Iceman is in he would Bite really hard at someone. there is a 2 headed Dragon that eats a bunch of extras in the movies, but the movie overall is boring. There are a bunch of dudes that look like ZZ TOP dressed in robs, but the eliminator Ford Coupe Hot rod is no where to be found.

I STOLE DA BABY

Well thanks for the input I thought it was boring. I wish the midgets would have atleast operated the tilt-a-whirl or something.

No one exploits George Lucas Like midgets....wait do I have that backwards?