Being accountable

I was having a good time yesterday at black dog when my dad told me to cut back on coffee because I am broke and I have no job. At first it made me mad, but he is right. So I am going to hold myself accountable a bit posting about the actions I take to cut back. First off I went in and cancelled my gym membership. I have other ways to work out that don't cost money and my apartment complex actually has weights, but they are rarely open. I am also just for today trying to get a small coffee when I go out tonight. I know how much talk is cheap and when the rubber really meets the road is when I make sacrifices that don't feel good to do. Right now I am in the mood to just write about cutting back...this part is simple...it is the choices when I am out and I can make the right choice and by a dollar McCoffee for 99 cents instead of the 9.99 fraparappacrapa-chino cooler from starbucks. So I am putting this out there to atleast have it in my mind to save some money and for today I am doing my best. Everything else is cool. I am trying to apply for jobs and trying to get a full-time job is full-time job in itself. Royals suck sporting is doing better. I keep making videos for my friends, there are people who struggle with their minds and I like doing something positive for them. It helps me really learn what the hell I am talking about if I teach it as well.

Royals and a weekend Wrapup

Monday was the day my family and I went out to the K to watch the Royals get their ass kicked again. Yadir Molina hit a homerun and the place exploded with redbird fans going crazy. It pissed me off, but what can you do? I wasn't the one that hung a complete shit-biscuit of a slider to have it crushed over the centerfield fence. The Royals continue to slide but on the bright side it didn't get rained out. I had fun as the K was electric and our seats were the best in the house. We have all you can eat and I took advantage of that. It was nice being really close to the players so I could see exactly what is going wrong with the Royals. The Royals just don't have lots of talent. They are bad. They will need to develop in order to win games, until they develop they will be complete assholes as playing the sport of baseball. They will lose lots of games. I sat by my mom the whole game and that was a nice change since my dad and I have watched millions of games together. She remained positive like a mom does even though the Royals we're getting their ass handed to them.

Sporting K.C. plays tonight and I look forward to them going far in the U.S. Open cup tournament. Last year they won the thing so I exect them to get through most the tournament this year as well. Their depth will be tested as lots of players will be gone to their national teams soon.

Emailing Ellen and being productive

Lots of where my talent lies is within my sense of humor. I emailed Ellen to see if she will give me a job. My plan this week is to try to be productive looking for jobs and being of service. I don't really care what job I do. In my heart I know I just want a bunch of money because that is what makes me feel the best. Especially when I make it rain dollar bills on bums outside of broadway cafe in westport.

Frenchy Quarter

Yesterday I went to The Royals game with JT and Jason. They were in a good mood and I was feeling good as well. The Royals lost. Pujols, Trout, and some other jack wagons went deep. The Royals are not doing well right now. Back to the game. The game went well in the stands. We were having fun yelling at Frenchy and the guys infront of us were having fun as well. JT and Jason smoke so I went over there and just talked to a bunch of people. There were fun interactions. I busted on a girls balls for saying Paddy Wagon. How bad that term is for the Irish. It was a fun and safe night all around.

My ability to talk to new girls

I was able to speak to a new girl "Rachael" yesterday at the black dog. She was very nice and very good looking. She was waiting to talk to her new roomate. She was from Portland. She remembered my name. Important things to note when going up to new girls. It is supposed to be fun and funny. The fact that I am 32 and still talking to random people is funny. I see humor in the ability to use Black Dog as playground to go up and have fun playful interactions. Jason was going to go upto Rachel before me, but you know you snooze you lose. We have all these girls who come to black dog who never come back. I like to think it is because of my raw sexuality and it scares them that they will just get pregnant if they come up there, but the fact is hot girls have more important things than just hang around black dog all n ight.

Do I practice what I preach?

I have chances to help people everyday. The people who need my help the most are the ones who ask for my help directly. I have a sense of wellbeing that comes from helping people, but my emotions aren't the most positive. I get through and cope with the situations of helping people by telling myself "Just help as much as you can"

I went to black dog yesterday and it was fun. Kurtis, JT, Adam (the big event), and Kris were there. We had a group of guys and it wasn't overwhelmingly fun, but it was cheap and it is nights like those that I will miss the most. I enjoyed it and like I said already, it only cost me the price of an overpriced cup of coffee.


Jason is an interesting man. He hates cartoons. He hates ordering the root and tootie fresh and fruitie at Ihop.....he parties with Michael Tucker and only wears Ralph Lauren's clothing line.

Giving Back.

I have the sense that my journey can take on a deeper meaning if a teach what I know and has helped me. The easiest way for me to feel what I have learned in my life MEANS something has been to teach others. Right now I have been on a youtube video kick. My thoughts have lots of ego in them. I want lots of hits on my youtube videos, but I know the real prize is that I enjoy doing the videos. Also they hold me accountable to myself. I know that that everytime I write blogs about hard work and positive thinking it helps me be accountable for my actions. I like the fact that there are a couple girls who make fun of my videos. I would rather have people watch the videos and make fun of me than not watch the videos. I try not to take myself too seriously...life should be enjoyed. To sum it up. teaching what I know and my experience helps me learn about myself, helps me enforce certain positive behaviors, and I enjoy doing it.