Thursday

Thursday I was alittle bit annoyed. I am trying to figure out this credit card situation. I know there is not much I can do but be frugal as heck and keep working as much as possible. I just got a check and growl....I am just going to pray and hope for the best. I will have enough money for rent for this check...and next check on Friday I should have enough for the jeep. It is tough to have peace of mind without insurance so I paid that today and my work insurance will kick in soon. One thing I am grateful is my work. My work offers some relief from my own thoughts and my selfish ways. I can focus on work or prayer to really take a weight off my shoulders. I know things will be better and I am grateful I am moved into a seeming stable situation with Jason. As fearful I am right now about money, it was worse around Christmas with no job and such. It is really hard for me to work when I am in a bad mood. I always have to focus on what is important. I focus on the fact I am not drunk somewhere in a ditch or that I have a DUI or anything like that. I am healthy and I have a sense of humor. So anyway I know what a solution is when I get bothered by money, it is to focus on what I already have..jeep...tv....guitar....health...and not what I don't have. Who knows what the future will bring. Maybe I will win the lotto. Now that I have that off my chest it is time to relax and enjoy my Thursday night. Wednesdays and Mondays bring a big workload with duties at work and in AA. I want to remain sober and I want to learn more on how to deal with people. I really strive to treat people well because that is one of the only things I have going for me. I got complimented today with my patience. That is a big deal because I actively try to cultivate my skill of patience.

eating johnsonville meatballs

Johnsonville not only makes good bratwursts, but their meatballs are really good. Tuesday was good. I hung out with my friend Andrea. Her dog hates me. It is a Lab mixed with a poodle. I am not going to name what it's official name is. I have felt pretty good day in and day out. I really try to take time to pray and thank God for everything I have. Especially food and air. I hate being without clean air. It really bites the big one. KU won another conference championship. I miss the games with KU VS MIZZOU. that was the best and most hated battle ever. Everything is good. I always talk about getting hooked. Bad people or bad thinking will lead you to be in a bad mood. Bad mood makes you less effective. I sometimes get on my own nerves. I got my paycheck but my credit card balance is a source of concern. I can only do what I can do I guess. I am trying to find a balance (Pun intended) of going out and eating and having a good time, and putting money towards that credit card. It can always be worse and I thank God that I have a job. I know that I am doing the best I can and there are many miracles in my life. I still haven't eaten much carbs at all. That is a miracle because I had bad issues with just eating so many chips pop and candy. I really feel like I have had more consistant energy all day because I am off the roller coaster of eating that much sugar. Jason is doing well. He and I are looking to make another months of rent for march. That is a miracle as well. Our front room looks so dope. My old apartment was crappy because I put no effort into it, but believe me our front room looks good enough that I really try to focus on how much better my life has gotten. My bank account in the last year has gone to crap, but my waistline has gone down, the beautiful woman in my life has gone up, and my overall happiness is way better. I really have deep level tools to use when my mood becomes bad. I really try to focus on the money I am making if I am working, I try to focus on the people I am helping, and I try to focus on the skills that I am cultivating or the skills that I am maintaining doing whatever it is I am doing. I am ready so much for Royals baseball and Sporting KC. That will help my happiness as well.

Sometimes I really look at other people and I really feel bad that they didn't put themselves through hitting on a bunch of girls and do comedy. I have deep level lessons of "Not caring what people think" "Not getting emotionally hooked" "Bouncing back from rejection" I am lucky that I got lots of my mental game or mental thinking to a good spot so I can just enjoy helping people, and I can enjoy my day making money and enjoy my health. My health has been decent throughout my sober time and that I am thankful.

Monday

Monday is always a very large work load. Work all day, then meet with Raymond then a meeting. After that I watched True Detective. I am seeing good benefits from praying and really trying to be of service. The anxiety I have is really lifted when I just try to work out of the attitude of service. I tried to hang out with Brydman this weekend but he was busy. I really strive to keep that relationship open because he is a good egg...(See what I did there? Egg Byrd...har har har) KU is playing right now but I don't know if they are winning.

Dale Jr wins the Daytona 500. I missed most of it because of the crappy rain. Good for Dale Jr. He takes lots of crap because he isn't the same driver as Dale Sr. Oh well though. That's two 500's for him.

UFC 170 wrap up

I watched KU kill Texas tonight. I had a cobb salad. I enjoyed my last day of regular season refereeing. I hung out with my friends Matt, Monica, Jason, Sarah, and later on I hung out with Liesel. Liesel really had some funny things to say and she is one of my favorite people because she is so mean to me, especially when she has been drinking. Overall I am thankful I put in 45 hours of work in at two jobs. I felt really good today. I didn't catch UFC 170 but here are the results.


Ronda Rousey def. Sara McMann via TKO (strikes) — Round 1 (1:06)
Daniel Cormier def. Patrick Cummins via TKO (punches) — Round 1 (1:19)
Rory MacDonald def. Demain Maia via unanimous decision (29-28, 29-28, 29-28)
Mike Pyle def. T.J. Waldburger via TKO (strikes) — Round 3 (4:03)
Stephen Thompson def. Robert Whittaker via TKO (strikes) — Round 1 (3:43)
Alexis Davis def. Jessica Eye via split decision (28-29, 29-28, 29-28)
Raphael Assuncao def. Pedro Munhoz via unanimous decision (30-27, 30-27, 30-27)
Aljamain Sterling def. Cody Gibson via unanimous decision (29-28, 29-28, 29-28)
Zach Makovsky def. Josh Sampo via unanimous decision (30-27, 30-27, 29-28)
Erik Koch def. Rafaello Oliveira via TKO (punches) — Round 1 (1:24)
Ernest Chavez def. Yosdenis Cedeno via split decision (28-29, 29-28, 30-27)

Saturday

Saturday I woke up in a good mood. I deposited my first check from my new job. I got paid for refereeing. I was pretty giddy. I bought a new bathroom set to make my bathroom not look like a single dude that pisses in the V formation all the time. I watched Everton vs. Chelsea. I can't wait for SPORTING KC to come back to KC and kick butt. The weather is nice and I did a nice video blog. I explain about my goals in the video blog and how I am grateful to have a job that is close. I am grateful for my jeep. I washed the jeep and vacuumed it. There is a bunch of salt on the floor of the jeep that is a bummer, but I was grateful I was in the mood to clean it today. I think listening to rap music has helped me put work in on taking care of my stuff. It really makes me in a silly mood to cruise around and also to upgrade some of my stuff. My bathroom looks decent, my Jeep is as clean as it can be, and I always have new shoes to wear. I have these pair of grey vans I have barely warn at all since last year. So anyway today is one of the rare days I really feel good. I am glad I am not nursing a hangover. I am thankful I can use this good mood to do more positive actions such as refereeing today. I am going to try to not let work today ruin my good mood, but we will see.

Friday Morning

Friday morning I got this long text this lady. It was sob story about how her life didn't turn out like she wanted. I saw lots of myself in this text. The thing is people think marriage, cars, houses, etc will make them happy. The truth is right living makes you happy. I made some inspirational music cd's for me to listen to in the morning to get my mind in the right space to go to work. I am really thinking about expanding my skills in the workplace if the opportunity is there to enrich my life. A deeper growth in character and development is always needed for me to get out of bed cheerfully. I always work on my patience and faith. In hard work I trust.

Thursday

Thursday morning woke up and went for a walk. Probably going to read and listen to music before work.