Thine will be done. Not mine.

It is amazing how you can pray "The Lords Prayer" really mean it, then take back your will after a couple moments. I always think about how awesome I would really be if I did God's will all the time. I see clearly now when I am taking my own will over. When I screw around and don't stay focused during the day, I am taking my will back. When I choose to sleep instead of going to the gym and working out, I am taking back my will. I am working on turning my life over to God but it is hard on days like today, my mind said "You are tired, don't go to the gym. It won't hurt to take a day off" I know that is a lie and that when I don't want to go the gym. That is when it is Crunch time. That is when it is most important that I get my ass moving to the gym. I am not saying God is instructing me to go to the gym directly, but I do think he wants me as healthy as vibrant as possible. The only way to do that is not listen to my unsuccessful brain. So in the end I went to the gym and did squats. It didn't feel good and I was frustrated early on, but I worked through it by talking to myself. "This is when it matters most to move forward, I need to imprint good habits, whatever it takes to keep coming back, heart body and soul into everything you do. So there you go...I saw Scrumpy Butt there but I didn't talk to her because I was too busy have fight with my brain to wage war against weights. One of these days I will actually ask her out. She did say hi to me.

I guess my willingness to pay the price and talk to people and improve my communication is paying off. Jason said yesterday how much more relaxed I am than I was 6 months ago. I strive for progress not perfection.