wow

Wow. I am good for one of my episodes every couple months. Today was completely a hard day with my mind all messed up. I woke up angrier than ever about my credit card situation. My main beef is how life can do this to me when I work two jobs. Bla bla bla. I take full resposeability for it. I went to a bazillion baseball games and spent a bazillion amount of money on driving clothes etc I talked to Raymond and I know if I do the emotional.maintenance I can get through today and tomorrow will be better. I also got a bad score at work and that wasn't good as well. Tomorrow is a new day and I will be counting my blessings tonight. Also I ate peanut butter for three straight meals because I have good old catholic guilt. Anyway I am glad that I didn't eat meat today. It is the least I can do for Jesus.


O.k. So I am grateful I am done with this day. It can truly kiss my butt. I like my mind sometimes because I have a great sense of humor, but days like today where something so small causes so large emotional pain it really sucks. I know one thing..I get really salty when my plan and my goals are not being met. In some ways that is good, but today I just needed to really work through lots of issues. It did help me talk to people and go into why I feel the way I do. I can't wait until this mood passes because I know that I worked through it as best as I could and I made it to work on time and I didn't act in anger to anyone.