September 11th

Yesterday the Royals really stepped up. They won and now I can start to enjoy the rest of the baseball season again. Great job by James Shields. They are back at it tonight. I woke up today with a jackhammer right next to my window. I was upset and started out the day horrible. I regained my attitude by praying a bit and asking God to show me the way. God said that the people outside are just trying to put food on their table just like everyone else in the world. Construction all over the place and sidewalks closed were trying to make me mad, but I hung tough. I was able to go for a two mile walk today. I haven't had a chance to walk because I work all the time and just keep up on my personal business. Tuesday I went for two small walks, but today I had the chance to walk my full two miles and it felt great. I got my football picks in this week. Denver winning and St. Louis winning with the total score of 75. I met with Raymond today which is very very very very important to me. I always want to keep the habit going of having another person check over to see how I am doing so I don't get off the path of success. We talked about my dads birthday party and how it went well and how the Chiefs suck and the Royals are doing well. I vow to work on a nightly inventory to make sure I write down that I have been loving to all, and thought how I can help others, and how I try to be unselfish. I was able to donate to the United Way which feels good. Often I don't feel good about donating, but I know my money will buy diapers and baby stuff for people and that makes me feel good. Overall today I feel better than normal. I am grateful not to be hungover and I love shorts and hoodie weather. I am glad that I have this baby laptop to type on. My other laptop isn't working and I hope it is just the power chord. I haven't checked my fantasy team this week, but I know I am 1-0. Jason and Sarah seem to be doing good. I went to Andrea's house while she was away yesterday and I really feel like I need a handgun when I am there alone. It is creepy as all get out. She needs a dog there at all times to bark when people are around. I am thinking about texting vinnie today because I have a feeling he needs a pick me up after the chiefs sucking. Bryce is a Mans man. I have been trying to get an internet chat party going during Royals games. It has been going o.k. Overall like I said I feel decently today. I am glad I don't have school or homework anymore. I am glad my dad's birthday party went well. I am glad my mom provided my dad with a good birthday party. I am glad and grateful I have running water and a toilet. I am glad I got the camping trip out of the way. I am glad Andrea and I are able to hit AA meetings and not be in jail. IF you knew how many people are in detox every week because of Alcholism it would shock you. It's like I live two lives....one of normal people at work who do ok for themselves and the other life of being around people who feel so spiritually, mentally, and emotionally sick that they have to chug booze just to survive. Sad indeed, but I do my part by staying sober, telling my story, and just being there to listen to people. I had a person sit with me yesterday at work and I was able to share my story about how I am in the top 20 in sales most of the time. I am grateful whenever I go to work I am almost always in the top 20 out of 100 workers. That is pretty good and I think that is a bit of luck, but mostly I take advantage of being able to get to work early and I KNOW HOW IMPORTANT IT IS TO ASK FOR HELP and always get better. If you aren't getting better you are getting worse. You have to always work on relationships, skills, money, attitude, whatever it is or you are getting worse. I am grateful for youtube and the internet. Even when I am tired and feel crappy I can listen to talks by motivational speakers and it gives me hope for the future.