tuesday

I have been praying for a bit of a break as of late because we are always busy at work. Today I was offered a chance to go home because we weren't busy and I took it. I went to Andrea's house to make sure everything was o.k. there. I took a glance at the weather and it didn't look good. I parked my jeep inside because it is my baby. You wouldn't leave a live baby in the rain would you...WOULD YOU??? I am praying for my buddy Russ tonight. I am active in Alcoholics everywhere and I know how much mental pain people go through trying to stay sober through tough times. He is having a rough time and my thoughts are with him. In tough times my plan is always to let Raymond or even my dad just tell me what to do so I take my emotions out of the situation and take action with a level headed person telling me what to do. I also know there are always plenty of numbers for me to reach out too if I am humble enough to use them. My dad's birthday is today and what can I say. He is the toughest, most unselfish, hard worker, good dude that I know. I have only heard good things about him and he is a hard catholic that doesn't try to "save" people. I have tried to take my work ethic, my giving back, and so much more from him. I also have a bit of his list of things to do down. One of the things that I have gotten from him that has brought me lots of relief is just a routine of boating or doing whatever. Boating or just the attitude of getting things ready for boating has helped me in other area's of life. I love that my dad always goes to work no matter what and he always has cool toys. My dad has always gained skills and he has always prayed and I think God has blessed our family with decent health and Cortland. I love my dad and I loved the game when it was pouring at sporting kc and we won on a Bunbury goal and it was so cold and I ate so much left over meat after we won. My parents also worked hard to get me to Leblond which I think kept me out of trouble, got me into football, and I met Bryce and the elder statesman. The Elder statesman pointed out important things my freshman year and continues to be a good Catholic person. I talk to people all the time that had a bad high school experience, but mine was mostly good with lots of friends that I have had for life. Lots of good people who worked a zillion hours on the education. I am grateful for the time I spent in the Ozarks. Sending me to Leblond I was able to hang out with kids who's parents had money and lake houses. The memories down at the lakehouses are some of the most special memories I have. I was young boozed up and just having a blast. I think that is the kind of feeling heaven will provide. Carefree and having fun. I have thoughts on heaven. I think heaven is going to be a state of mind and not so much being physical. It is going to be a euphoric feeling of wholeness with the creator. I have been praying a lot and I have tried to seek out a power greater than me because it is the only way I have a sense of ease. When I am not praying (Or taking my lexapro haha) I have a constant uneasy feeling. I miss Andrea a bunch. I of course don't understand how much she means to me until she is gone. She is a maniac at working, she is a great athlete, and a deep thinker. She provides me all the laughs and love that a person could ever want. She has a titanic amount of brain power that sometimes is truly a bit scary what she gets done.


Gratitude list: My mom made my dads birthday party a success.
Leblond
football
Royals
SKC
Byrdman
Elderstatesman
Dad
Mom
Running Water
Toilets
Airplanes
Snacks
Funyons