why the fuck do I still have crushes at 40?

On Sunday one person brought up a memory of a girl that I have a crush on. The intense feelings came back and they were there today. I am addicted to feeling bad or at-least feeling "different" I know the universe put everyone in seperate situations for a reason. I would be miserable with this girl and we would break up soon after we got together because she ain't about cars video games and porn like I am. It is easy to have crushes when you never see what a heartless bitch people are or what a pain in the ass they are. All I see is my boring ass life and a hot ass girl on facebook. Anyway the thing that gave me some relief and I saw that with her I would be broke as fuck and that I should just trust the universe. It has my back.