Weird Start.

Yesterday I felt like crap all day which was frustrating and bla bla bla. No one listens when you bitch. I just did what it takes to make it through the day, which is I took in a bunch of sugar and just focused on my breathing. When I take my focus on my breathing and not the way I feel and try my best to be thankful for what I have, I have a shot at being ok with how I feel. I did get a call from my doctor that my blood work was fine which is cool because I thought maybe my thyroid was exploding or I had diabetes. I just had volume depletion which means I need iron and sports drinks. I just don't have enough oxygen getting to my brain. I went out with "K" after work yesterday and I approached one girl and she shut me down, her name was Kristen and she was meeting her youth group there. I did well not to insult her after it was clear she wasn't having any of what I was selling.This other girl that I was kind of talking to was getting high when I called her to hang out. Wow the quality of woman that I pick out.... So overall It was an alright night and I got one approach in. There is lots of bumps on my journey but it is my job to just learn from them and build character and keep going. I watched the US MENS NATIONAL TEAM play. It was boring as hell. Besler, Zusi, and Germanman from Sporting KC played, non of them had a big impact but Zusi did have some corner kicks.



The Journey...As I try to have the best mind body and soul that I can I have realized that if you get what you want short term, it just crushes your progress long term. Like the deal with my health, sure I could have crushed out some sets in the gym this week, but with my dizziness it taught me to be more patient and it taught me to call up a doctor and humble myself to ask HER see what is wrong with me. Most of my progress in my life is about humbling myself to ask for help and then making small strides to get better.

K seems to be doing well. As long as you have it in your mind that all you can do is grow and that nothing is actually "Yours" life seems to go ok, it is when you start to hold onto things so tightly that when you lose them you get crushed, that is what really hurts. That is why I am glad that lots of the stuff that I did over the course of my life were just tough to attain. I am ok with letting the things go because I know it was about the experience not about the actual item. I will say this, after going sober, getting rejected by a million woman and being rejected in other things in life, after feeling sick for a couple weeks, after passing out in the gym, after going back to the gym after passing out, I can safely say that I am not soft anymore. I guess I had it easy back in my 20's and now life is holding my arms up over my head and just being the shit out of my abs. It is all good in the hood. Today I am just going to think about how good I have it and reflect on where I was a week ago.