Weird last week or two.

I have had a weird last week. I don't think I have had this much anxiety for awhile. I try to do the next right thing and I think my faith and my devotion to developing myself is getting better. I can't really put my mind to what has been bothering me as of late. The money situation seems to be getting better and my relationships seem to be ok. I don't know, but it was nice to get through work today and come home and watch true detective with Jason. At work today I had to pay the piper to get better. I asked my boss on friday if he would sit with me or have someone sit with me. I was nervous and jittery all day to have someone sit behind me. I know from reading books such as Mastery by Robert Greene that I really have to push myself and get myself out of my comfort zone so I can get better at skills. So I think I will see the benefits in my new job as long as I am willing to work really hard.


I guess a guy I know is going to die because his liver is failing. My whole life these days revolves around addiction. I go to an AA meeting most days. I tell my sponsor Raymond ever detail what is going on with me, Andrea is sober for some days. Addiction and Alcoholism is such a destroyer of worlds it is a bit much sometime. My heart goes out to the sick people out there hiding drinks...chugging booze trying to cope. Been there...done that...got the t-shirt. I talked the other day about how I was so sick of feeling like I had the flu. I was also sick of being heartbroken. The truth is I had so many deep emotional values that were broke. Life doesn't owe me anything. I am not going to get into it, but yes I was hurt by girls in my early days, but now I realize I have a choice to get in the gym look better and attract better people who actually like me.


Sporting KC plays in the CCL on Wednesday. It is the Champions league. I trust that if you have google you can find out what a big game that is.