Fantasy football

I was able to get my Fantasy Football in. As I look over my team I am listening to a blistering set by TOTO.
I got my picks in this year. I am going to hedge my bets this year. I am choosing the chiefs to lose to win and St. Louis to win. That way if the chiefs win and St. louis loses I will lose my picks but be happy as a pig in lenexa that the teams did bad.

I heard one of the best compliments I have heard today

I heard a compliment that really felt good. I often think that God speaks through other people. I heard a person say. "Ray why do you write so much?" I responded that I focus on one or two things and that I have ADHD and it helps me focus on empathy and compassion for people. She said that I didn't seem like I was the type of person that had trouble with people and I just looked to the sky and thanked God because I have been working so hard NOT to be a person that responds out of ego and out self-centerdness.

Friday

Friday I didn't want to go to work. I did a pros and cons list. The decision I made was that it was less work to go to work, gain experience, stay positive, help other people, than it was to call in sick.

I am positive around me. Sometimes people bother me with their actions. I just have to give their actions to God. I have came up with a special prayer for this. GOD PLEASE LET ME O.K. with whatever stuff people happen to be doing when they are bugging me. Speaking of bugging me. SKC and Royals were HOT GARBAGE YESTERDAY.

Thursday Gratitude List

1: I am grateful to be alive another day? What shall I do? Shall I play sims? Or shall I watch Tony Robbins videos on youtube?
2: I am grateful for a job. It is nice to have a 4wd Jeep Patriot with sparkly paint job
3: My parents!
4: My Sister
5: Cortland
6: Video Games
7: 40 Inch Screen Magnavox TV with Soundbar. It is Legit people!
8. Paul Van Dyk on the turntables
9: Guardians of the Galaxy. That move was DOPE!

PROS AND CONS LIST

I have been making more pros and cons list and making sure I write out lists and rank the lists from most important to least important. This way I don't spend my thoughts and actions on something that doesn't matter. Like here is an example of things that are important in my life.

Royals Playoffs
Sporting Kansas City
Church
Politics

Now after I rearrange them I can put them in the most important order to me and make sure I spend most of the time on the things that matter most.

Royals Playoffs
Royals Playoffs
Royals Playoffs
Church
Royals Playoffs.

thursday

Thursday I woke up and I was sore. I don't know why. I went to the gym to use the hot tub. It was o.k. I took some pain reliever stuff. I came home and tweeted and facebook'd until my heart was full of posts and likes. I then went to Hy-Vee and got some meat and some cheese cake. Tonight is fantasy football draft so I was a bit nervous, but I am making sure I get my game face on by getting the best in cheese cake and smoked meat technology. I was able to play sims a bit. I washed my clothes in a clothes washing mashine, I dried my clothes in a drying clothes machine. I was able to also play some sims 2. I am converting Portland and Seattle MLS game over to a file that I can put on my zune or on my phone. That takes awhile and it is really a chance to be patient and get that done. It is nice to watch some hot soccer action. I am really looking forward to the fantasy football draft tonight with some Royals and college football action.

I met with Raymond. We talked about doing good things for people. We also discussed how "Doing the right thing is it's own reward" If you do good things and don't expect worldly things back it helps heal people in a way that I don't think we completely understand. We also talked about my friend Russ. Russ is boozing away and not going to work because of issues at home. I pray to Jesus to come down with his spirit and save Russ from himself. I am currently listening to Paul Van Dyk. It is good to listen to Techno trance while working out. You can get lost into it because there is no stopping the groove.

I got used to making pros and cons list tonight because I wanted to go to the Royals game slightly tonight.. The pros going to the game...it is the royals and they are glorious
The cons...expensive...hot.....

I am going to the fantasy draft because I get to take my own diet coke and eat food and have a cheep night and for that I am grateful.

Thursday

Thursday I woke up and my body was sore as hell from what I am not really sure. I took some ibuprofen and went on with my day. Today was a big day because it is the day I meet with Raymond. He is doing good. He is heading to the lake this weekend for some awesome family time! I played some sims 2. I vacuumed today. I did laundry today. I listened to music and drove around some. I was sore so I didn't do much exersizing.

Sporting K.C. wrap up

Saturday Andrea and I showed up early to the sporting kc game. We got the seats that we wanted because we were way early. It was very hot. I was sad that the D.C. United Kits (jerseys) now don't have the Volkswagon logo on the front. My dad shows up and it drops 10 degrees. He is struggling with broken ribs because a Combine fell on him. Kansas City looks so good early on. Then it all went in the pooper. I like to think that since they had to travel to Mexico they drank bad water and all were sick. They got their asses handed to them in a sporting basket. I had fun and I yelled at people. We had a great photo bomb by two sporting workers. Classic Sporting.

The Cauldron was singing and made it a point to cheer even though they were getting hammered. Great show Cauldron. Championship level team from fans to players to front office. After that Andrea and I hung out in the grass and I played Matchbox 20 on guitar. I also had my shirt off. It was glorious and awesome. Glorisome.

Tuesday

Tuesday I was able to finalize a deal that makes me the owner of a fantasy football team. I went to the Library to print off the players rank. So kodus to me to giving an effort. I prayed for my dad and Jesus to heal his injuries. I went to work and some major bosses came in. I was feeling cocky so I sat right in the front row. Normally I don't really do that kind of thing, but I was feeling salsy. I sat in front and really watched body language and the way the the bosses carried themselves. My boss right now was in most of the slides. The proof is in the pudding and being positive in every situation is very productive. What I came away was with that my hard work being patient and loving with people helps our company be amazing. My team is always #1 and it was a big deal for me to come in when hired and go right to a team that takes winning serious. I was ranked 18th out of 105 people as of yesterday which is good. My quality scores is 98 which is very good...my FCR is not good and my voice score is 83.5

I want to make a mental note right here and right now. At the first of the month a customer gave me a Zero. I spent all the time I could asking for help and reaching out. I put a note up on my wall that says "SMILE" "THINK ABOUT YOUR VOICE SCORES" and since then I have gotten lots better work. I want to hammer home that if you do everything you can results will come as long as your approach and attitude is good.

I guess Jason had a big month. I felt good for him because he dresses well, he cooked at the picnic, he does lots of positive things. Plus he cleans the crap out of our apartment for which I will forever thank JESUS for.

After work yesterday I drove to see Andrea, she was mad because I wasn't very nice over the phone the other day. I will make a note that I need to be mindful at all times when I talk to her to be as nice as possible. I strive to always come from a frame of love, patience, and compassion when dealing with her.

It is my dads birthday coming up. What great times we have had cheering on the MLS champions SPORTING KC! Molly K is the best sporting fan on earth it is her birthday today.

Miata gag

In the move Macgruber drives a Miata. Someone told me they cracked up at the Miata joke. I was being all snobby and was like. The Miata was a gag....an on going "Gag" in the movie. There was no set up or punchline it was a gag.

Know the difference between a gag, a joke, humorous story, irony, a bit, a set, tag line and a punchline.

Tuesday

I was able to post on facebook my random thoughts. That makes me feel glorious and awesome.

I watched Macgruber yesterday. I am not sure I liked it, but I am glad I watched it. I Felt it should be better, but I think zoolander kind of sucks but people love that movie. So I am sure just for the references alone I needed to watch the movie.

8/26

Yesterday I went to work. It was o.k. I am 17th at work with 5 more days in the month. I am on track to bonus this month which makes me feel good. Thank God I am not in the Red and I don't have to go to work everyday and worry about getting "The Talk" from managers. I try to be cool and help people. Sometimes I get bored at work, but I have note book to write down, I have an 8 pound weight to do some wrist curls, I can keep busy.

Andrea started meditation classes. This is huge because I remember listening to Barry Long's album "Stop Thinking Now" It really hit home for me because my thinking and the way I coped with my own thinking really was making me sad and miserable. I have developed 4 years of ways of coping with my thinking.

I have been going for a bit more walks as of late. It really is fun for me. It is fun for me to listen to music, play video games, or text while walking. It makes me feel productive and entertained. It also gives me hope that the days are getting more awesome and not less awesome. Even if that is not true, the fact that I can feel like my life is getting more awesome is the main thing. I just want to feel good and entertained. If I can feel good and entertained in the moment I am pretty cool.

Janes Addiction fueld post

I am watching Janes Addiction on palladia..that are kicking all sorts of butt right now.
On Sunday I woke up and I helped these people who are friends of Andrea move. It was great and they really were thankful that I helped them. I told them it was no big deal. My body was made for physical lifting and crushing out long days. After that I went home to my parents to watch the Royals. I bought some tenderloins from Fords/Cabana. It was delicious...the Royals lost. I might have to blog an entire day about the Sporting K.C. game. They played so awful, but the game was glorious. I almost got hit by a firework and I took my shirt off in the parking lot. Alex Gordon for MVP. O.K. back on track for this blog. This weekend had good food like tenderloins and taquitos. It doesn't get more glorious than that. I am spending lots of time today hoping my dad gets healed by God. The riding lawn mower fell on him after he backed it off a ledge. He was sore, but he is a northsider and tough.

Saturday Gratitude list.

I woke up today feeling close to nature and pretty close to God. I was feeling nervous about work yesterday and I prayed a bit and I felt really calm and a voice told me "Stop being so nervous, if you died today you have done plenty...plenty of blogs to leave behind, plenty of jokes, pictures, music, etc" So I felt good yesterday. The last call of the day went long at work which could put me out of adherence which lowers my stats, but I made sure to not rush the call and I made sure to put the customers and other persons issues in front of mine. I am ranked 17th out of 108th at work and it has been a blessing and a relief to be good enough that I don't require attention to my supervisor. They are setting up a command center so people can monitor calls and my supervisor wants me to be apart of that. I have some fear I won't like it, but I will deal with it. I have to push my comfort zone. My team is #1 again last month at work. My friend Keith is a great salesman, Ralph the Rev is a rock of a man and of course our leader makes it a point to be positive about everything. We had food yesterday and that was nice. I get tired of spending 6 bucks everyday at lunch and it was a nice treat to enjoy some cheese and crackers. Tonight is the sporting kc game. I am excited. I was thinking about doing research about D.C. United but I don't know if I am going to get that done. I am going to write out a quick gratitude list.

Thank God my parents sent me to Leblond it gave me the best chance to not fall in with a bad crowd. My friends partied a ton but they had good hearts.

Thank God I played football and Baseball. I am still finding nuggets and treasure that I picked up about life playing those two sports. You have to be unselfish and you have to work through weirdness and pain to get jobs done. Getting the job done means more friends and money and it means being respectable enough. It is always a goal of mine to have myself be successful enough to where when people think about me they aren't sad causing them to be sad. This is a real thing.

Greed and Envy

There was some people next to me at the library. They are checking out 10 games and 10 dvd's I am upset about this because I want those games to be available to me. It is times like this where I know how to handle this. I just tell myself. "Ray...you just bought sims 2 the pets edition, you are just trying to be greedy and control other people" Focus on your own actions not others. I am going to smile and be patient with myself and other people today. I am going to enjoy a nice little sporting treat tomorrow as Sporting plays Handball United! (Also known as D.C. united.

Using the GYM and getting my moneys worth

I have been making a point to use the gym and get my moneys worth out of it. I feel my shoulders being a bit stronger since I am able to swim for a little bit. I was able to buy some sporting KC tickets for tomorrow night. Andrea and Dad is invited. Mom will have to let me know if she wants to go.

The Sims 2 Pets edition

I am happy and grateful I bought this a game. I often want love and attention of animals but don't want to actual get an animal. I am able to pop this game in and relive some of my old memories. To see pepper chase sheba around one more time well that gives me deep gratitude and love for my life. I am grateful my parents put food on my table so I could nurish my body and I could enjoy the theater of a dog chasing a cat!

Say hi to people. Be nice

Yesterday was a busier and more productive day than I first thought. I always see the same people at the coffee shop. I made it a point to introduce myself to a man that I always see. Networking and knowing people is so valuable but it is so hard to walk up and start a conversation. It is not who you are, but who you know. This is so true. I made it a point of emphasis to walk up with as good as body language as possible to say hello. The man's name was rick and I will start small and say hello every time I see Rick.

I went to Black Dog yesterday. I just chilled and listened to the Jack White. It was pretty good. I need to put new music on my MP3 Player.

Thursday Day off

I didn't get much done today, but I didn't do something silly like buy something I didn't need. So that is a positive. I also decided to go to the gym and go for a swim and use the hot tub. I haven't used the gym and I pay 30 dollars a month. So I made it a point to use it since I pay for it. It was very relaxing. I always get attacked by my brain at like 3-5 and I know what to do, just try not to do anything. I think it is just the low energy portion of the day and I am already bored of all my toys. I went to dollar tree and bought some pop and listened to Tony Robbins tapes and now I am home. Jason is replacing all of the lights making it more energy efficent. I also went to vintage stock and they are having a labor day sale. So I need to make a point to get over there.

Thursday

Thursday I met with Raymond. There is nothing more important I have to do than to have deep level life coaching! We talked about the picnic and how grateful we both are to be apart of a great group in Lenexa. I worked all week and it was grand. It was great making money so I can buy delicious steak! Andrea texted me...it is awesome how she texts me! I woke up and went for a 2 mile walk today. It is awesome the way I get up and go for a walk. It is truly a blessing to be walking!

The quality of your life is based off of your quality of communication.

Thursday and Wednesday recap

Wednesday I washed my jeep and I was able to vacuum the inside. I was glad to really put in effort to clean the jeep up. I think about the people who don't have the work ethic or the determination to own a nice jeep and it makes me feel sad. Oh well it was time to enjoy the fruits of my labor. Earlier in the week I begged for the mercy from Andrea and I really worked hard to humble myself. All that humbling paid dividends because we were able to go to chucky cheese. It was a great time. We played ski-ball, shreck pinball, I set the high score in Pop-a-shot basketball. Andrea has six months sober and what an awesome way to celebrate a new life without booze by going out and playing Shreck Pinball! After that we went for a walk on her land. She had cut out a path and we walked the path in a romantic fashion and the moon was inspiring our hearts to keep walking and be awesome. After a long walk it was time to watch the Royals and Sporting KC kick butt. The Royals are on fire. Andrea sat in her massage chair and got in the mood to play sims. On the sims we both got jobs and for some reason my player has to take the largest poops all of the time. In the sims she cooked me roasts and we both got jobs. I am currently hanging out and listening to the black keys. I love The Black Keys but I hardly get to go deep into their collection. Today is the day where I put some effort into listening to their full collection and not just the main songs.

Day off

A well deserved day off is today. After picnics, moving people, eating at chedders, mall trips and much more...I have the day off today. I woke up and made sure to text my dad good luck in his bowling league. I have no doubt he is going to have fun and the stories and friends he will make will last a lifetime! Yesterday at work was good. I really remained positive even though we were busy. I put a good effort into having good tone of voice and being patient and loving with people!

I woke up today and I might do "B without the B" That means I am boating without the boat. What this means is I get my jeep ready like I am boating with a cooler full of cold ones and I cruise around then I just drive back to my pool. It is a good way to have fun for a family on a budget.

2-mile walk

Woke up this morning with heartburn. I went for a two mile walk. Not being a total fatty with no walking or exercise skills would be bad. Grateful for walking skills.

Picnic and Sunday wrapup

Another year of the picnic in the books. We had good meat and good pop. I was in charge of getting the pop and I planned to get it before the picnic. I had my list ready and thank God I was prepared to get the pop. Hy-vee was a bit crazy, but I planned and I put effort to do a good job getting the pop. Thanks to my hard work everyone had delicious pop to enjoy and lots of people were coming up to me and saying "Thank you for working so hard to earn money so you can buy this delicious pop!" Raymond worked hard to put on the picnic as well and it went well. It was another day sober, another day not in jail, another day of not being hungover. Work went well. I had chances to really help people and be very nice to people. I love it when I get the chance to tell customers and people how much I love them. People often tell me I have the Patience of Joab. I am like it's o.k. one of the reasons why I take having patience so seriously is so I can heal people and not hurt them. After work Andrea wanted me to come over because she was having a brain attack. I know exactly what that feels like. I get confused and go into a mania state probably once every couple weeks. I think it's due to stress, but it's all good. The main thing is to ask for help when you go into mania state and Don't buy dogs, don't buy a car, start a new relationship, gamble, just clean or listen to music or pray. The key is to just let it pass. I got up today and I felt really good. I checked the police blog and thanked God I am not in jail today and thank God I can go out and be of service to heal people and not hurt them. The Royals and Sporting KC are on fire. I am so proud of the teams and I am glad I could buy a bunch of sports gear and really support the teams through the bad time. I feel good on the inside knowing that fans are an important part of teams success. THe MLS CHAMPIONSHIP last year was the final piece of the puzzle that is the Dynasty of Sporting KC, but this year they may add a supporters shield. They start CHAMPIONS league play tomorrow and I am excited to watch. I am glad to enter a stretch of life where I don't have to move anyone, no more picnics, and no more camping unless I really want to. I asked my dad if we could camp at the boat club because I would like to try it one more time. Nascar is coming up in October....or as I like to call it ROCKtober.

picnic

I woke up today and got ready for the sober picnic. I was able to be sober and not passed out. Jason, Sarah, and Andrea went. I brought lots of pop. It felt good being of service and that id my calling. Making other people's lived better and more awesome.

Moving Day!

Moving Day! Saturday it was time to wake up and be productive and help my friend Matt move. Coffee Donuts and good attitude! It was all there and we had a great move. I made sure I texted Andrea so she didn't wake up all cold and alone. I wrote some jokes and then Jason mopped the floor! I was glad I didn't get stabbed in the neck at the Brown Bear and I was able to wake up and be productive and of service for Matt's Move Day!

Friday

I woke up on Friday in a pretty good mood. I worked out on Thursday but didn't overdue it. I was able to drive around thursday but not tear up my jeep. I went to an AA meeting on Friday and I shared my experience, strength and hope. I talked about going to the picnic and being able to deal with personalities and myself. I talked about what a miracle it is in my life not to have to drink to have a good time. It was a great start to the Friday. Anytime I can share my experience and have someone come up to me and say "Ray...I am glad you work so hard, you are an inspiration and you make everyones life better" that is a good start to the day. I don't want to get a big head on me though. I know that there is always work to be done. I am preparing for work today. I always want to do my best to sit up straight and give off positive vibes. I need to shave today. I was able to be productive yesterday by doing some laundry. Being productive is very important.

Thursday Andrea started talking to me again after I begged for mercy and forgiveness. She bought a massage chair so I truly saw how replaceable I am.

Thursday

Thursday I woke up and I went to the Casino to play video poker. I am pretty strict about what I play and how much my bankroll is set for. I was lucky enough to get 4 of a kind on jacks or better. It let me play for awhile until I dropped down and I have gambled enough to know when it is time to leave. I went home and ate. I met with Raymond. Raymond and I talked about how selfish I can be and even when I am doing service work I need to be cheerful and have good body language.

Yesterday Ralph at work wrote a nice message for me. He wrote on a website that lets oter people know about people who are working hard. It said something like "Ray is always looking to get better and he emails and talks about getting better all the time. I put my work and my actions into getting better every day.

There was a sale yesterday that was goofy. There was a man making me uncomfortable, I just wanted to leave him alone, but I told myself the reason why I am good at sales is because I sell to everyone and I don't want to open that pandora's box of not selling to someone. I want to sell to everyone to always gain experience and to keep my skills up. I went through it and then I wrote it down and told myself I need to blog about selling to people like this because I really take pride in pitching sales to the unpitchable. I have a 100% offer rate for my sales and that is something I have always worked on as a comedian, talking to girls, or in sales. I strive to not let someone else change my actions or my thoughts.

After I met with Raymond today I struggled with boredom all day. Nothing sounded good. I got bioshock infinaty from the library but it didn't work. It was a struggle. I went for several drives and I just told myself "treat this like dad would a boat ride" so I drove around until I got bored. I won't have many boring days coming up I work Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and Monday. I am helping Matt the engineer move on Saturday. The boredom was pretty bad today though, worse than it normally is. I wish I could find something that is simple and makes me feel good quickly when I am bored, but I have to take showers, go for walks, go for drives etc to just pass the time. That is just the way my life is. I am either sick or too high or too low emotionally, or when I am just right I am bored haha.
I did put on some music and clean my room. I put on summer breeze by seals and croft and that helped me relax and get some dusting done.

Andrea is talking to me again after I agreed that me snapping at her is my fault and we agreed that I need to be more joyful when doing things with her and her family. All My life and especially my adult life after college I did what I wanted to do all the time. I am starting to change as a core person and help others and it is hard. I remember something "THE ELDERSTATESMAN" said...he said the thing Monks have trouble with is to do what someone else wants them to do. Anyway my boredom is passing and the stress from the boredom is passing right now so that is good.

When I moved down to Lenexa I had to drive back to St. Joseph to drink with Matt. He was my only friend that would hang out with me, eventually I moved in with Dave and we hung out some, but not much. I just drank a ton to escape and feel good, but it was very lonely. Today I have deep relationships with The Byrdman, My parents, My sister, Raymond, Matt the engineer, SGT MATT, Kurtis, Andrea, John Mexican Nacho Libre, V-Foundation, Cody V, and many more. As I look at the picture from the campsite I can see 15 or so people that if I died today at-least they would be aware of my death. So that makes me feel good. I always wanted my legacy to be a guy that was fat and felt sorry for himself, and decided to take responsibility for himself to get skinny and stop being such a victim. I think the fact that I have so many friends is a tribute to hard work and working day in and day out to be more of a people person.

Wednesday

Tuesday was good at work. I had 2 sales on Monday so I was able to move up from 22/94 to 9/92. I was able to enjoy the fact that I went in Monday. I did my part what I was supposed to do. I got my sales game on tighter and I reap the benefits. I was writing about how I was grateful for having comedians in my life, and I am grateful and thankful to be able to do a nice run of open mics. I know how sick comedians are and I know that it often doesn't take "guts" to get on stage, but it is often the only time comedians feel normal.

Tuesday I wrestled with giving my friend "ray" at work a gift card. We have a Ralph (THE REVERAND) we have Ray Smooth or Two Change as his nickname is...so we basically have three Rays. Back to my story. Ray was being hammered on Monday with different challeneges and he did good. I wanted to do something to let him know that teammates pick each other up, and that hard work is rewarded. I prayed and I came up that I was going to talk to him seriously for a second. I told him what I know and that is that if you hang in there and don't take it personally, you maybe lifes punching bag, but you will get paid in knowledge and in money. Most people play the victim (the vicky) or they take things so seriously and they don't know how to lighten up. Anyway I feel like that is the closest I get to God when I know in my guts something to be true and I am able to pass it on. Most people know that I am telling the truth, that the reward for being patient and loving isn't right there in the moment, it is over time life gives you people and money and other things to enjoy. I really enjoy being a coach and there is a long list of growth between Kurtis and others that I am grateful to help people walk through, just as I was able to walk through with Raymond, My dad, The ElderStatesman, Byrdman, and others.

I heard a story the other day about a lady who is very nice getting banned from a bar for being drunk, she almost got tresspassing charges brought against her because she got kicked out in a black out woke up and went back to the bar the next day not knowing she got banned. I chuckled because I got kicked out of the Hi-Ho one time and I was so embarrassed. Today I don't have to deal with that crushing embarrassment. My only problem is how to feel my day with things that I deem fun and value-able.

I was able to go for a walk today. It was quite annoying because they are jackhammering the sidewalk. I got the walk in and even though it wasn't fun. I got it done and kept up my skills of getting my butt to walk and kept the routine going.
Andrea is not responding to texts because she is still mad at me. I have nothing but love for her so if you are obsessing about my blog! Let me know you aren't dead LOL.
I am at the library typing this because I am so glad the kids are back in school. this place was full of little tax deductions all summer and now I cam come back here and blog in peace.

tuesday

Tuesday I was able to play video games and go for a walk. It is nice not to be too fat and gross. I made some jokes on Facebook. I am apart of a team that is always #1 at work. I am trying to find joy in that. At worst at least we aren't bad. I wad ranked 22/88 which is better than I thought. Being in the top 50% is ok by me. I had to close an account yesterday which I think will hurt badly but I did all I could do. The game was evening up the score. I am not the best person at work and not the worst so being in the top 10 fpt so long I was bound to have luck to the other way. I will remain positive. Keep a smile on my face and grateful I am above ground today.

work and sales

The first thing I did when I got to work today was ask my boss and co-workers what I can do to be better. I have one sale this month and that is a sure way to be laid off. I am now taking the help and putting it to use. My way of selling wasn't working and it is important for growth as a salesman to grow and to drop the ego and take advice from those who are selling. I vow to always seek out sales advice and grow my sales game. My boss was quick to help because he is excited to help people who are thirsty to grow their sales game. We have a plan of attract to get.me on the right track to sell. I am grateful for the knowledge that I have to drop my ego and do what successful people do.

me being chewed out.

All week at work I was being talked down to at work, I prepare for this by asking God for patience and having empathy. I got talked down to over text message because I spilled lasange on the floor. So Jason is my brother, I made sure to say I am sorry and I would do my best to make this better. Make no bones about it, I come home to a home that looks good and is decorated. So I wanted to make sure Jason knows how much I love him. Andrea gets on my case about lots of stuff...from WHERE IS YOUR HAT?!?!? YOU NEED A BETTER JOB!!! YOU ARE GOING TO FAST??!!! Cody got on me for not going many meetings.
Sunday I woke up and Andrea wanted to go to dollar tree and oak park mall, I don't really enjoy both of those. We went to cheddars and I finally get comfortable after a long week of being chewed out and Andrea did her thing where she needs to move 3 times before she gets comfortable. I told her I really hate her sometimes. She got mad at me. I need to work on not saying stuff like that. I went home and watched the Royals and Sporting KC and that was awesome because it let me have some time away from work, camping, Andrea, I got things squared out with Jason. The Royals did awesome, Sporting KC didn't do awesome. Andrea called later and she and I agreed I need to not say awful stuff at Cheddars and I went to sleep. Whew.

Friday and the weekend.

Friday I got to talk to one of my comedian friends. She is a machine gun of opinions and of randomness. It was a breathe of fresh air to have someone just shout out as many random things as possible and I got a hardy laugh at some of it. Friday I was pretty warn out. I haven't been selling at work and I will reach out to a supervisor and ask what can I do to get better. I have been through this before a million times, lots of times when I was flunking a class and I needed to pull out a C. So I am o.k. with that because I am putting in thoughts and actions how to get better. Saturday I woke up and just was pretty lame from the week of work. I put together some things and Andrea came over to pack for camping. I was grateful I had put in so much work preparing for camping. I studied how to change tires, I had a map where we were going, I put on Sunscreen. I knew from being a Cub Scout how much to be ready. The end event is I am sitting here today with little to no bug bites, not sunburn, I have my cell phone, jeep, and the tent was not peed into once!

Camping..camping was a bit rough for me because I had been involved in a long week of work. I put together all I could to prepare for the camping trip. I was ready to sit on my but and pound diet cokes until I took a nap. We got there and Andrea wanted to move the food by the other food and she wanted to swim and do other things. I was like...the whole point of camping is to do nothing. To her credit she let me relax a bit until I got bored and then we went swimming. As a joke I slathered myself in sunscreen and we swam out and enjoyed the lake. The beach had a float rope around it and we were resting our arms on it enjoying the view. We swam back and watched some of our friends play volleyball. Cody, Peter, and Christian were the main people I knew from the event. They are hard core members of sobriety. Cody has been friend through sobriety and we can always talk about everything. Sarah his girlfriend is funny and I have known her for 4 years. Anyway I was hungry and we went over and this White Trash guy in a large truck and a camper starts cussing us out. It was a long story, but he went on his way. We ate and the food was delicious. The sun went down and we talked about sobriety and it was pretty magical with the stars and reflection on how I could be partying and not asking for help all the time and making people around me miserable, instead I have been dropping my ego asking for help and even though it doesn't go so well I know I am doing better than some out there.

I woke up at 3:30 am camping and I could feel that it was going to rain hard. We packed up our stuff and we left. It was a good idea. We got back to lenexa safe and I took a shower. The post camp shower was nothing short of glorious.

friday.

It is Friday. I have prepared all week for this camping vacation. I am sure it will be awesome. It will make all the hard work worthwhile. Eating Naches and drinking pop. Enjoying peoples company. Loud music. Should be an awesome time and I a glad I work so hard to enjoy expensive get away like this.

Thursday

Thursday I woke up I did some walking. I played video games. I went over to raymonds work and house and got my list of what we are getting for the AA picnic. I am going to try to go camping this weekend. Pretty excited to see Cody V and some other friends. Work is going good. Have to have patience and empathy for people. Also have to not take anything personal. I have been praying for the hungry, and for the confused, and the scared lately. Anything to get me thinking not of myself is a good thing. I am often too wrapped up in myself. And by often I mean all the time. Go Royals. MLS won the all star game. Germans are bitter. The End.

Wednesday

Well I woke up. The Royals win yesterday sure shocked the house. I keep on thinking it was a dream Nori Aoki hit a grand slam. I will celebrate this royals win by drinking water out of solo cup. MmmMMmmMMmMMm Delicious. Sporting KC continues to be a Factory of Awesome. The MLS All-Star game is tonight. That will surely bring thrills and excitement. Andrea keeps grinding away at the sims. Evidently she has quit her job in the sims and is forcing me to go to work while she develops her art skills in the game. You know I have a good job when I am wearing suspenders.

Royals Bomb the Diamondbacks

The Royals bomb the diamondbacks. Butler, Aoki, Perez all park balls into the seats. Feels good to be playing good. I always start getting down on this team but their defense and their pitching is very good.

Penguins sign Brandon Sutter. He was the best player on the team in the last months playoffs.

Yesterday..Tuesday was a tough day at work. I was nice and patient with people. I had a guy close his account which hurts my stats. I remained positive though. I know if I stay positive and work hard things will work out. I am grateful for being able to watch the Royals beat up on the Diamondbacks. Andrea worked hard to provide a place for me to watch the Royals win I come over. Andrea and I are a bit crazy sometimes, but we are not drinking and being totally stupid and we both know we have to go to AA and follow the advice of more sane people to stay out of trouble.

I was proud of my sister, dad and I getting together over the weekend. My sister and I were not awesome of showing up on time, so it was nice to actually all get together to watch guardians of the galaxy. I watched "Bad Words" that movie should have been way better. I love The Byrdman and lil' pepsi max!

Monday

Monday I passed Erica my trainer and I made a sarcastic comment. I immediately referred so. I had to beg her pardon she seemed.to forgive me. Whew! Work was good. Ralph the reverend and Debra and I had fun yukking it up at the end.of my.shift. I told Debra that she chews too loud and she about chokes on popcorn. It was a silly night because of overtime for most and everyone was workih hard. I made sure to ask my supervisor about his Baby because he is a good man and I like to see how he responds. I saw him turn down a brownie as well. He has his game in check. After work I watched Bad Words. It is a movie with Justin Bateman in it. It was OK. I laughed a couple times, it was a crude movie with a large mean streak. Bad Santa mixed with a spelling B.

Monday

After a weekend filled with laughs, mostly at the movies seeing Guardians of the Galaxy. It was time to take my butt to an AA meeting. AA meetings are the reason I can wake up and not be in jail which in turn leads me to gather up my slacks and polo shirt and take myself to the movies. It is a cycle of success. I went to the AA meeting and shook peoples hands because I need to keep my skills and chops up of meeting people.

Yesterday our server was below par, everyone wanted to be mean to her. She wasn't good at all. She was pregnant. I put myself in her shoes. Her shoes were begging for mercy because she was with child. I paid for my families food and I gave her a normal tip because I think that is what a person with empathy and character would do. I think it showed great character that we didn't yell at her for not getting us extra cheese.

Sunday

Sunday I woke up and I planned on having fun with my parents and Andrea watching Guardians of the Galaxy. We got great seats and the theater was nice. Lots of laughs and I loved the movie. There was a nice win for the Royals today. I went for a long walk with Andrea. I am blessed and grateful. We also played some sims and I am currently watching Fast and Furious. Not the be confused with The Fast and the furious.

Friday

Friday was O.K. I reviewed what went wrong with SPORTING KC in the U.S. Open cup game against Portland. What went wrong you ask? EVERYTHING!


I went for a walk today. It was good. I lost my back seatbelts to my jeep. I found them under the bench seats. I also found my old MP3 player. It still worked so I listened to Artic Monkeys and Nirvana.

I have to work today. I need to sell some things I didn't have a good day selling yesterday. I am sober today which is cool. Not in jail. Not in jail or depressed. Jason is watching spiderman. It has been a mind summer. Tomorrow I am trying to wrangle people into going to guardians of the galaxy.

Appreciating skills

Reflecting on my ranking in the top ten at work. I don't really have feelings for it, but it is nice to take the time to reflect on how reading anthony robbins and other inspirational tapes helped me to grind out and spend time and effort being patient with people, having empathy with people and practicing every interaction letting the people know you appreciate people picking up the phone to give us a call. I have situations all the time where I have to deliver bad news and I am able to do so while letting people know I love who they are and what they do. It is amazing what happens even when you have to give bad news, but you show love, empathy, and you lay out the facts. After years of really striving not to care what people think people sense you are being honest and you honestly care for other people. In turn people tend to work with you. I have had so many moments in my life that I never thought I would be mature enough to handle or to see, but they have came true. It hasn't just came naturally either. I had to carve out time to meet with Raymond, I had to actively watch videos on youtube about getting better at skills, I also had to not give up when the answer wasn't right there. Sometimes I will google or watch a video on Patience and it doesn't resonate with me right away, so I have to search for another video.

Thursday

Thursday I went to meet with Raymond. There is no price you can put on good deep level life coaching with a human that has been through it all. We discussed nightly inventory. Have you been resentful, have you been honest, have you gone through something that you need to talk to something else. It is important for me to be honest on these questions so I can grow everyday in character. Character is not just doing something that is good, it is having the same solid actions for all situations. Like the character in steel. If you say that steel has good character it means it is strong and it reacts the way it is supposed to. I had a good laugh with him because he doesn't kill spiders. Spiders are our friends they kill insects, bugs, and in the case of the brown recluse, that nasty left foot that has been giving you issues.

With me being in a decent frame of mind I went over to Andrea's yesterday, she wanted me to watch her niece and nephew. What a great chance for me to show my awesome parenting skills and also develop deep parenting skills! The kids came over and the girl Lilly is light and small, Titus says crazy things sometimes. We went for a walk and then Andrea went rouge and headed to the dollar store. Luckily I had a full tank of gas and was able to save them from the dreaded North Oak street.

At night we played Sims. I had bought the sims three times in hopes that Andrea and I would sit down and play it. She built a house and tried to get me to marry her in the game. that isn't the way it works you have to build up points. It was good that we atleast played together even though my character died of annoyance. The more controller time I have and the more I can enjoy games (especially the one of the video variety) the better.

Andrea got cable and the Royals won. That made me happy enough to spend time and energy raising my parenting skills. It is awesome how if you do good things like get cable the people around you get better.