10/06/16

Today was Wednesday which means I drive down to see my sponsor Raymond. Basically I tell him all the thoughts and emotions that I am going through and we plan out how we can handle them so I don't resort to using drugs or alcohol to handle situations. Things have been going better as of late. I hope I can get some other mental health issues squared away. I am going to see if I have A.D.D. because all of my life I have struggled with focus. I often test high on intelligent tests, but I suck at grades and work. One thing leads to another so that is good. It was like first someone told me I have a drinking problem so I fix that, then I have an anxiety problem go on lexipro and some other sort of medicine then that doesn't work, get put on latuva, that sucked and was expensive. So then I get put on something in the middle along with depakote. Long story short my sleep is better these days. I used to wake up with high anxiety, I would drive to the gym with high anxiety, I would work out for a bit. Then I would crash. Up and down up and down. It wasn't pleasant. So it seems like things are getting better. I have made small strides at work. I can now effectively move pallets from the side. I need to work on looking through my run list and breaking up the starches while looking at lot numbers. Spacing them accordingly. I was able to lift a bit today. Hopefully I can get back to lifting at Planet fitness and in the garage. When it is a billion degrees at work I don't have the energy to get off work and lift more.