Wednesday

Today was a bit of "What in the hell?" I started off the day just not wanting to do anything, but I always try to go 20% farther than I can. So if I want to not go to work, I try to atleast get to work and see how I feel, then I try to work as long as I can. I got some Christmas shopping done and I didn't really feel great about that, but it could always be worse. I think my dad went to the doctor so I said some prayers there. I just know that life is about doing small tasks over and over. People, places, and things are mostly out of my control. I can just try to stay focused on being an adult, making healthy choices, and not beating myself up. I also tried to focus on what it would be like to be homeless. Gratitude is an important part of my health. I enjoyed the warmth and smallness of my apartment and enjoyed a podcast or two I am glad that I have atleast a vision of who I want to be so when things outside of me are off the chain I can make choices (Like getting Christmas shopping done NOW not LATER) so it can set me up for success and happiness. I met another girl yesterday named Pam. She seems to be more in-line of a girl that I would like long term. She likes SKC and seemed to dig my jokes. She shut me down big time when I went in for a kiss, but I wasn't really thrown off about it, since it is 5th time in a couple weeks a girl has denied me a kiss. In retrospect I probably should have told her it was my birthday, that would have gotten me a smooch for sure, but ya know...everyday is husslin'!!! Tonight I will probably just drink coffee and focus on the good in my life. I live in America, I am not in jail, and I can throw a swing pass better than Matt Cassel.