Wednesday

Wednesday I woke up and had no anxiety. For that I was grateful. I had noodles all over me because Andrea forgot her food over here and I was eating it at midnight with my hands. I have been eating more carbs as of late which sucks, but eating no carbs sucks hard as well. I haven't been eating peanut butter which has carbs so hopefully those even out. I went for a 2 mile walk. It was pretty enjoyable. Some days walking sucks and today wasn't that day. I am trying to get some people over to play poker on Thursday. I feel good about it and sometimes I get nervous because I hate trying to put things together and it falling to crap, but I have been on a poker kick as of late and I will explore trying to get a game. I bought 2 black chairs at wal-mart because we don't have many chairs here, and I made my first mistake of putting together a poker game. I bought a poker chip set that doesn't have enough chips if lots of people come over. I will go back tomorrow and get more.


Mind games. So much of trying to get better at anything is mind games. I am not going to bonus at work, and I am number 3, but I have to keep selling so I don't drop in the rankings. Also I have to keep up the skill of taking pride in my work. If you aren't getting better you are getting worse. So yesterday I saved a couple accounts and I sold a couple of things and I made sure to put the results on the sales board. I often don't put my results on the sales board because I don't care, but I want to make sure I am caring enough to keep my chops and skills up and not let them slip. My supervisor is always positive and he is a good role model of how you should be positive no matter what and really keep getting better.

The Royals have been awesome and I watched some UFC yesterday. I have nothing to really say about either of those. It was entertaining watching people beat each other up. I used to watch Boxing with My grandpa so I try to channel my inner old man and relax and watch people beat each other up. It helps me relax.

I am grateful for my Lexipro it has helped me with my anxiety and depression. I am glad I live with Jason. I used to spend 1500 a month on bills living by myself and taking care of my jeep. It is nice to be able to have some money in my account for tires and also chop away at my credit card bills.

Going through finding poker players I am reconnecting with people who I normally don't talk to. That is good.