project build muscle biceps

Biceps and back today. Got a great pump. Feels like ....woah! Listening to the heavy metal band pharaoh.

natural born hater

Whew...do I hate on somethings. Alex Smith and blogs I deem unfit for my reading. I am always trying to really get better on encouraging the outflow of creative ideas and innovation. When someone creates something good, my first thought is to be a NBH (natural born hater) I know this and I am working on it. I always try to be more mindful of growth in the area of being humble.

being happy for others and being creative

I need to work on being happy for other people's success. I am a NBH when it comes to other people's comedy or music or whatever. I am willing to take a look at myself and try to send good thoughts when people are doing well. Everyone wins in this case.

hardened

The game keeps telling me the same thing. That I am too dependant on outcomes for happiness and that I need to get thicker skin. I had a situation yesterday where I had a person that was rude to me. I was thankful to them for the reminder that I need thicker skin and that I strive to me centered do that when people are not cool to me I can stay on my path.

pump

Shoulders day. Upright rows shoulder press shrugs and lat lifts. Feels decent. Still.have way too much man boob.

pump

Shoulders day. Upright rows shoulder press shrugs and lat lifts. Feels decent. Still.have way too much man boob.

Sporting KC

This year it looks to be more of the same for Sporting KC. They are losing goals from Kei Kamara and Roger Espinoza. Their addition is named Claudio breiler but he hasn't done anything in pre season. Bobby Convey had the chops to be good but couldn't stay healthy last year. I think they will make the playoffs because Besler, Collin, Sinovic, Meyers are a hardy back line. I heard rumors that Meyers will take Espinoza's roll as enforcer. That would make sense. I hope the other teams take a step back. I don't want to comment on the chiefs situation right now.

mavis part II

People and success come and go so fast in and out of my life. I have to actively look for the positive. Sometimes I feel bad in my heart but in my head I know every person I meet is a good thing for me. I improve just a bit every new person I met and it is all those little things that really add up to a fun life. Lots of times guys come in my life and I feel like a triple A manager sending a new prospect onto the majors. out so as usual just having a good attitude about life is important. I also have a deep appreciation for any kind of success in my life. I know how hard it is to do the right thing and make good choices.

mavis

Being the Mavis I am is awesome, but it also sucks. I am actually not a true Mavis, but I do have small influences on people. If you don't know what a Mavis is you should read tipping point to find out. Ok so back to the point. I attract people by being loud and acting crazy...so good people come into my life. Then their lives get better and they leave me. New jobs, new girls, new friends, it always is the same story. I guess the lessons to enjoy the time with your friends. You never know when your friendship value will fall off the earth. I am not butthurt, I am simply stating what has been a trend in my life. The good thing is there is always new guys and girls to develop relationships with. I purposefully and consciously cultivated skills in getting my ass in gear and to taking.

Ok lets try this again.

Today was not good for various reasons. I made it without killing someone or having to give an ammend! Yay!! The highlight was that the good people over at 24 hour fitness worked so I could lift weights. I am starting day 1 again with chest and Tri's I put in a good effort to do those. I grunted and got a good pump. I also created a Nascar that I had a dream about. I love making dumb nascar things and racing them in Nascar 2003. Yesterday KU won and I was able to freeze some of tears of the Iowa State state fans. They tasted delicious. KU does get lots of calls, but that happens when you pump up the awesome. My job situation sucks, but I can only keep working and grinding. I wish the girl that nicknamed "car-girl" liked me, but she doesn't the only solution I have came too is to try to turn my attention to other things like money, health, and to help others when I get stuck thinking about her. That situation will fix itself once it gets nicer out and I am able to talk to more people. I think my friend "K" is making outwith his new girlfriend 23 hours a day. He also has an older car and he struggles to get around. I don't wish to be 21 again. I drove a car that was wrecked and I had to hustle for money just to eat some taco johns back then. I don't wish to be 21 again. I wish to be 26 again. That was fun because I had money and what seemed like lots more energy. Anyways I am truly blessed to have decent genes, good heater, a blanket, my jeep, good friends, and an awesome family. Hopefully sporting kc comes out with a good result this weekend and the #88 can go to victory lane.

back ro project muscle build

Got back after a crappy snow to the gym. Starting over after some days off. Day 1 chest tri's. Felt good and I felt big after taking days off from lifting.

Monday and Tuesday morning

Monday and Tuesday are going to challenge me to say the least. KU won yesterday and it was awesome. I was out with friends and all the places out in the square were rocking.

Monday.

I woke up today in the same routine I usually have. I try to drink a Gatorade or a poweraid to hydrate myself. I thanked God for another day on the planet, I also took deep breath's to get some oxygen in my blood stream. I went for a small walk before work. I know that you get out what you put in and I put an effort into burning calories. This week looks to be challenging to say the least. The weather and the people around the weather are going to test my spiritual strength. I will try to not lash out when I am annoyed and tired. I will try to be of service. It was a fun day yesterday watching Nascar with my dad. We have good sound and a good tv to watch all the white hot action NASCAR has to offer. HD and Good sound make all the difference in the world when you are watching white hot action sports. I am glad that I didn't have to punch a reneck in the mouth on Saturday. I hate jail and I hate breaking my hand over a guy who loves sheep in a sinful way. I am glad no one went to jail and I am glad that the local yocal could go back to stuffing the barnyard animal of his choice. The elderstatesman is having a baby. I am trying to talk him out of calling the baby "Godzilla" he loves his Japanese movies and we will welcome Godzilla Statesman to the world pretty soon.

Saturday and Sunday

The Elder statesman was in town on Saturday night. It was a fun night. It takes alot not to hit a redneck in the mouth, but Steve avoided it. Sunday I drove to St. Joseph and watched Nascar with my dad. It was very fun. Danica Patrick will win a race this year especially if the new cars make it impossible to pass for the lead. My dad and mom gave me a bunch of food and I stole jelly beans. It was a rewarding and dare I say delicious vacation from Lenexa. St. Joseph is generally poor. I am grateful that I have some skills to keep myself from driving a 1985 chevette around St. Joseph. I just notice when I go to St. Joseph how lucky I have it.

Friday and Saturday morning

Friday was ok. After work I went to the gym and started to do some walking. I got through an hour on the treadmill. Tomorrow I reset and go back to Chest and Tri's. Friday night "K" and I went to black dog, his car was busted. I then went to visit V-Foundation and "THE BYRDMAN" The Byrdman was his usual nesting spot perched up and yelling at people It was a good time. I called it a night early. I was able to Talk to SunnyD. She seems to like me. Probably because Byrdman churps in her hear. Caww CAWWW! This morning I woke up at 7 am and went to a different 24 hour fitness. I did a small walk and I thought about getting into the pool. I decided against it because I had shorts but no trunks. I also don't want to get my eyes burning because the clorine smell was so strong it would kill the Herpies off of an East Buchanan cheerleader. I saw the guy working that saw me pass out. He knew who I was even though I have only seen him once. He asked me if I ate. I told him yes and that I am not going to do squats today so he doesn't have to be on alert. He laughed. I wear jeans and a hoodie to do my walks in. In the time it takes to change into shorts I could have 7 minutes worth of calories burned. After I got home I was able to play Nascar on my computer and Fifa 2013. This was a good feeling. I really enjoyed a couple hours of video games. I actually have gratitude for video games. It helps me to stimulate my senses. I guess the elder statesman will be in the house tonight. I am going to try to get pictures.

Ben Mclemore didn't want the ball yesterday

B-Mac looked scared to shoot the ball late in the game. He is the best player on the floor. I couldn't believe my eyes, but he is a freshman. Jeff Withey played huge down the stretch and KU will probably be a #2 seed this year as long as they take care of business. I didn't get to see Mizzou's win but I am glad they are playing well. I actually don't like any of their players exept for that huge Doug Smith II looking big bastard dude. I like that guy.

TNN is back?

I guess TNN is back showing country music videos. As a person from St. Joseph...obviously I can sing along to every damn Sammy Kershaw song there is. I also remember when TNN showed nascar. Like REAL nascar. Guys with the names like Ricky Rudd, Rusty, Dale, Ernie Irvan, Dale Jarrett, and Dick Trickle.

Thursday

Explosion on the plaza...snow..explosion on the plaza snow....repeat this for 60 hours and you have the noise trash that has surrounded me. It hasn't been too bad. Work was just a horrible display of horrible displaymanship. We got sent home early because our company was told that they were going to close down the roads...not just a road...or I-35...all the roads around the block. Ok so I got home ok. It was alittle rough, but it was alittle fun when I got closer to home and I got the jeep out in the parking lot. It was truly fun to drive the jeep around in 4x4 mode in parking lots. Sad news I guess, the girl I really hit it off with a couple weeks ago hasn't texted or called. I know she has a kid and she is a mom first, so I am sure God knows what is best for me, life just sucks sometimes and I feel like I have attained enough toughness, being mature, badassness, that I could manage to have a lady right now. I guess the play here is to just turn my mind over being of service and continue to grustle. When I got home today I did enjoy fish for a meal and I enjoyed playing Fifa 2013. I also played nba 2k12. So I really did enjoy my day. I also really love the fact that I haven't worked out my legs walking lately so they feel good. I got through biceps and Back today working out with a curl back at my apartment. I worked pretty hard and my muscles hurt, and I was breathing hard, and my heart was pumping. After I was done I ate fish and drank some powerade so my muscles didn't get stupid.

Thursday

Thursday is the snow to end all snows. I am pretty sure lions will be giving gazelles rides to work...because everyone has to get along for the city not to implode in times like this. The Lion will be like...yeah you know I am going to bite you right on the butt tomorrow gazelle. The gazelle will be like...yeah probably.... Yesterday was a fun day in sports. The Penguins lost but it was awesome game with 10 goals, fights, controversy and suspense. KU won because they are a basketball factory. Not a factory that makes sucky things. Arrowhead is the factory of sadness. KU is the factory of awesome and awesome they shall bring to the people. Delivering such goods as all-americans, player of the year, and Titles Galore. Daytona 500 this weekend #88 is going to bring home the checkered flag. The Royals new billboard around town are awesome. I did shoulders yesterday and they felt horrible. I felt discomfort while lifting which is right below pain, so that is a good thing. That means I was working hard. I need to loose the rest of this belly fat. My plan is too add muscle so my sitting buring calorie rate gets up there. Maybe march will be March Madness as far as calorie loss and calorie deficit goes. Ok today I am just going to try to be happy I live in a country that is good and I am lucky to have water that doesn't have poop in it.

Wednesday

Wednesday morning was a little frustrating. I just have issues motivating myself as it is, but now it is harder. I am here to grustle though. Make hay while the sunshines, I also think about how people from Mexico and Cuba risk their lives to come here to get the same chances that I have. I have to pay respect to how fortunate I am by really putting in work. I was also thinking about how taxes piss me off, but hey I enjoy watching other people fight fires and shoot bad guys in the head. So it makes taxes easier to swallow when I drive on nice roads and see bad guys shot in the head by Lenexa pd.

Staying humble

Sometimes I have to ask myself. Do I talk the talk and walk the walk. I think today was a big step towards doing both. After my lift today I got into the locker room and I had a big pump going on. I turned my body in such a way that it made me look way leaner and with way more muscle I had and I took a picture in the mirror. I was going to put it on facebook. I then thought about it and I was thinking is this really going to help my growth. I want to stay hungry and humble. Having 10 "likes" on facebook isn't worth possibly ruining my work-ethic. I decided to delete the picture. It was a sacrifice, but I want to make sure I stay hungry and humble.

tuesday

I found out today that my job is being removed 4/19. Not because of performance, but because of cutbacks. I have some paperwork to do and now I guess the real work begins to try to keep the grustle going. I am thankful that they are providing severence and other benefits to help me look for a new job. I know my time is really valuable now and I have to make sure I spend it wisely. My plan is just to keep working as hard as I can until my last day and keep putting myself out there. 8 years at one job and I think the one thing I learned is anyone can be let go so you have to keep pushing yourself no matter what. I know I can't control the wind but i can adjust the sails to catch the wind and drive my ship to money. I was able to get my lift in today even with the news today. Eminem was playing and I just know he came from a trailer and he turned his life into a decent one. I know i can do the same. I got a good pump on triceps today. I know triceps make up 70 percent of your arm muscle and when you work your tricep well it feels like our arms are all swollen. That wraps up my blog today. If anyone has any odds and ends jobs let me know I want to keep a mindset of one that keeps working and keeps earning money.

Difference between skill and talent.

Talent can only get you so far. It will fail you. Skill comes from hours and hours of beating on your craft. Time is the most precious thing we have. You can't buy it back...you can trade for it..once it is gone it is gone. The real professionals know this. They do things right the first time. So there is so much in my life now where I go...I am going to do this now...and I am going to do it right.

sometimes i am surprised

Sometimes I am surprised about he non-pissed I get. I guess it is because I pushed so hard the last couple years that I have a deep knowledge about the UPS and downs on life. I went to Lawrence with K and the night seemed to be the biggest sad day ever. It snowed on my new shoes, people were rude, roads were slick. I wasn't mad at all. I understand I can only put my sails up to catch the winds of awesome, but sometimes my sails catch the winds of sucky night. It was a good night overall because we were out banging the guns. I saw my sister and Ben... We also saw V and Birdie. They were having a good time. I told Steve. I am going to break this DJ's neck. That was funny to me. Birdie had ice poured down his shirt and I am glad he took it as a joke. I've seen some busters end up dead in industrial city for actions like that. So anyway I focused on the fact we were out banging the guns and not playing some bullcrap game like candyland. So the day was good one and I didn't get pissed. That is progress.

line

K and I go up to ladies waiting for food and say "Hello... You ordered the men?" funny laughter and awesome come after saying that line..That line is as delicious as Pizza Royal.

people who struggle

People who struggle day in and day out seem to have a deeper sense of appreciation of money,friends, and family. I read about those dudes who won 75k and spent it on meth. They didn't respect the money, their bodies, the game. I know cause I have been there. I feel like I can always gain more sense of appreciation of what it takes to go out and buy a Cadillac. It isn't about the beautiful caddy on 20 inch shoes. It is about the grustle to get the assets needed to attain such a fine whip. Danica Patrick on pole..meeeeowww indeed.

If you get better..everything will get better for you.

Making progress to hit the gym. Making progress to talk to more people and give more of my time to others. Getting better and growing. If I change for the better...things will get better for me.

Sunday

Sunday I wasn't feeling really great. Just run down. So basically all I tried to do is rest, eat fish, and get in a small workout.

Saturday

Saturday I went out and grustled. I met new people and met up with some old friends. It was ok. Nothing was like really memorable. "k" was was out with me and he was meeting new people as well. He surprises me at times how bold he is. I think yesterday was just another example of just staying social so when it comes to work I can stay in that mindset. I strive to always put the focus on other people because I want to be a person that helps others.

motivation is an artform

Woke up on Saturday. Blaaaa. Reconized that this is the grustle. Trying to get myself going. I got the ball in motion by doing some laundry. I then was really trying to force myself to get to the gym. Finally went to the gym. Then it was a bit of a struggle to get through my lifts. The most important thing is I DID GET THROUGH MY LIFTS. Went to black dog. Talked to a random hot girl named Haley. Went back over and did biceps-reverse flys for my back and chin ups for fat people on the Lat pull down machine. I protected my muscles by drinking some gatorade and water before them and I haven't felt dizzy for awhile. So that was a big time effort to protect my muscles from being stupid and to get my ass to the gym and grustle my way through the day. My lifting days always go like this. Chest Tris-Shoulders-back and biceps-legs-rest-day. Cardio is like 10 minutes a day to get warmed up but of course I do more than that sometimes. Reverse flies felt like they were working my back today.

If he is from Barca...he has to be good

Much like the Shamwow is made in germany and it has to be good. Orial Rossell is from Barca...so he has to be good at soccer.

I can tell i am doing right

If I am not losing any sleep over my behavior.

V-Day

Yesterday ended up weird. I been talking to Raymond who has experienced everything a man could go through. I told him about the girl I like. I don't want my emotions to make me do something I will regret. What I don't want is to call and text a girl I barely know.That shows some growth right there that I am willing to turn my actions over to someone that knows more about emotions and can see the big picture. The big picture is that girls com and go and I can only focus on being a better man. I can't control people. On to the messed up part of the night. My friend "B" wanted.to go to a movie. It was too late for me to go and I was tired. I made a mistake of not sticking with my word. Ray be crazy and for as much girls are crazy this was a mistake. I tried to take this lady to the movies after I expressed my emotions that I didn't want to go. I got chewed out. I can't remember the last time someone seriously got pissed at me. I explained that I messed up and I didn't know this woman was going to go all bob knight on me. She later said she was sorry. I think it worked out in the end. I think her yelling at me made more attracted to her. I like a little fire in my girls...and a girl yelling at me so hard.my phone vibrated out my hands was a sign of fire indeed.

New Grustle clothes

After getting my taxes done, getting my oil changed, lifting weights...I was able to take my ass to the mall and get me some new grustle clothes. All my clothes have been wrinkled to hell as of late and I needed some new shoes and something semi-warm to go on a marathon grustle weekend. The shoes look kinda weird on my feet. That is ok though I guess.

Don't put stuff off.

I did some good stuff today to help ensure that I have enough time to watch and blog about chicks and Sporting KC. I got my oil changed, and I got my taxes done. I get my taxes done at H and R block. I could do them myself, or I could just pay them to do it and use the free time to go to starbucks and hit on chicks.

Grustle Part III

The Grustle. The Grustle will teach you that you are a wussy and that your happiness needs to be tied to your effort and actions. Not results. I am glad I was never a pitcher because every game would need to be a perfect game for me to be happy. One one happy I am glad my emotions are like that, so I can work on flaws, on the other hand, it messes with my sense of happiness. Today I actually feel pretty good. I am going to get my taxes done. It seems like I have brought some value to this world as of late with a couple of my articles. So I am ok with myself. The girl I like..it isn't going very fast or well as I would like, but hey that is teaching me that I can't control things. The grustle is very much a marathon and not a sprint. The sense of happiness I have today is my long history of moving towards learning more, acting more, and changing more day in and day out. I have worked on being more happy on the inside and not letting people, places, and things change my insides. That is something to be thankful as well.

more cars, more clothes, more shows, more bros

It's all about the material things. Wrong. I have noticed more and more that you can strive for material things, but the real gift is what you learned when you got the material thing. I learned when buying my jeep...that if I was to choose one place to eat on a special day in St.Joe...it would be taco johns. If you want to dress better the process will make you a better man. You have.to sacrifice your time, money and energy to learn what dress better.com has to offer. I appreciate the things I have because I feel like I got them without cutting corners. I guess that is what grustling has taught me. If I was to be for real there are things In had handed to me and it is those things I don't appreciate the most. I try to really take time and realize just a few zip codes over there are men my age getting shot over shoes. So in short I like it when people really try grustle their way into nice things, as long as there is a sincere love for the thigs they strive for.

The grustle part two

You can't get points in the game today, from the game yesterday. It is always important to ride my own ass to stay focused to flex my brain muscle. It is amazing how duhh derrrr dumb I get I'd I don't actively focus on brain strength. I think eating more veggies and fruit hve helped remove the brain fog I had awhile back. I am a bit sharper in my thinking. K told me yesterday what an impact I have had on his life and I was like. Well I would hope so! All I do is grustle son! I told him that I grustle Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday then Sunday I got church, but in Monday it is time to grustle again. All joking aside K has pushed me to a crazy level of networking and to gain a prospective. Everything hurt when I was his age. Especially disappointments. It would wreck my shit when I did bad on tests when I was 21. Now that I am old and grizzled I have an appreciation for how little change in the way I feel when I am disappointed. I am just like... Oh well....look at the time....guess it is time to grustle some more. Woweee where there hot ladies at black dog yesterday. I didn't get a chance to hollar at them because I was doing business with K but man march is going to be the time to get my "sup ladies???" game on. Back to business though. I am really trying to focus longer and harder. I have a feeling if I want to get to making 100,000 a year I have to focus on work longer and harder.

grustle tuesday.

The grustle is the grind plus the hustle. It is improving things a little bit at a time. I am still working on getting my brain to focus for longer periods at a time. I have no doubt the reason why I am not as successful as I would like to be and is due to the lack of ability to focus for long periods at a time. I am working on that though. I got some news that I didn't get the job applied for. I don't know if that is good or bad news. People have been challenging my patience lately, but that is a good thing. I have to give other people the space to grow. I have to give myself patience as well. I like a new girl. She works on cars and does cool stuff. I am just going to let this go where it may. One thing I have learned in the game is that constant texting to a woman is a bad thing. I was happy with the way I grabbed this ladies phone number in a crowd, but it wasn't to hard because she is exactly the type of girl I go for. The easy part was grabbing her number. The hard part was not biting her butt. Nom nom nom. Also some other dude was hitting on her and I grabbed her to get away from that situation. I have grown into a man over the last couple years and I can recognize better when it is time to just be like... Disss girlie wit me... Back up off...lest you get rained on!!!! KU bear the piss out of the wildcats. It was fun #23 for player of the year. I am glad to see RJ blogging. He showed that he was willing to pay the price to get better at his ironman thing. I am proud of Kris and I. We go through something's..but we always turn a mess into a message. There has been so much crap go down This year but people places and things don't bother me as much as they used to. Girl rejects me? Grustle.... Job opening goes away... Grustle.... Even when I things go my way I still grustle. I guess I was just born to grustle. I think that is the best thing about being a man. It is not getting too far off your path by crap you can't control.
My next job will be in sales. I am used to stepping out on stage and ngaf what people think. People are going to hate and I think sales is my clear way to make 100,000.

Gym Brings out my sick thinking

The Gym has made me realize how sick my thinking can be. I dismiss the results I see in other peoples muscle building as "genetics" "Steriods" "Luck". My first thought when I see a ripped dude is that he somehow cheated and I just dismiss the results he has put up. I am lucky I see the error in my thinking. I wish that guy all the luck and maybe I could learn a thing about that guy. I then have to realize that I have to focus and put energy on my lifts. I know that if I put in the effort in my lifts and get enough protein... after a period of time and patience I will see results. The GYM really makes you see where your own flaws are. I am glad that I am healthy enough to go again and see where I can build my character. I strive to stay hungry, patient, and to always put in a good effort every day.

The Grustle awards

Grind + Hustle.

Kobe Bryant
Michael Jordan
Kevin Garnett.
Ray Rice.
Tony Gonzalez
Roger Espinoza
Matt Besler
AJ Perzinski

Saturday

Saturday started off with me sleeping a bunch. KU sucked. Sporting KC did alright in a loss. Sporting KC played all their starters first half and then their backups second half, so I am not going to be freaking out over a loss in the preseason. Zusi had a wonderful strike from range for a goal in the first half. I went to lift weights around noon that was ok. I feel like I am really working hard in the weight room, but I am not getting sore. I think I need to do more reps to really get that good sore feeling the next day. I really had a nice pump going on Tri's. At night "K" and I went out to midtown. The night was just us bullcrapping about topics such as 21 jump street and our standards for woman. "LGERMAN" came out and she was mean like always, but she is nice enough to hang around us to make it look like we are not 2 creeps. "CarGirlie" is a new girl that I know. She came out and we danced and we were silly. Advice to all the boys out there, if you are wanting to know if a girl wants a kiss, she probably will apply lip gloss or pop in mint or gum whenthe time is right. So it was a good time overall and I really enjoyed myself.

going out...keeps you sane.

In feel that people who stop going out get in their head so much. They start lying to themselves about how the world is screwing them over. The brain is set up to convince people to stay home. In general I feel people need to push themselves to get out to bars, church, any social place. It helps you get out of your crap. Thinking about other people, listening to other people, get.out of your comfort zone. I am dead serious that mental illness starts by isolation sometimes. Your mind and especially my mind builds lies on lies why I shouldn't ho out to church, clubs, sports gams etc. I really have to mindful that I can't help others by sitting on my butt inside.

Friday

You are only as successful as the people you talk to. Sometimes people talk so much crap and bring so little that I have to take action on not listening to that. I know who I am. I have a vision for my future. I did go out yesterday with K. We did a good job socializing, but the night didn't floe very well. I still had fun and made jokes that I am proud of. I met a lady that I used to work with and I had fun talking to her. I got a French girls number who I couldn't understand. So in the last two weeks I have tried to holkar at a polish chick, German chick, now French. It went well I guess and I can't get upset. Getting a French chicks number is better than not getting a French chicks number. I have been really watching motivation videos. I have to really dig to keep.taking actions towards my goal. I was a little sad to see Kei Kamara's jersey hanging up for Norwich FC. He is a great player for skc.

Being addicted to being lazy

I have noticed that being lazy doesn't feel really good. I have noticed working hard doesn't feel really good, but might be worth something at the end. I have also know for a fact that being lazy breeds being more lazy. An addiction to being lazy is something that has hurt me over the years. I get late fees on bills, miss out on things, miss getting money. It is an addiction that I have to wage war on. I also have to wage war on being average. What do I do to take action on this? First I think and I blog on my behaviors. Am I being lazy, can I do more, do I have energy to do one more thing. My goals are pretty simple. Being in great physical condition, make 100,000 in a year, and be the most social person on earth. I have a plan for the first and last, but not for the middle. So I will keep working and thinking. I am pretty sure me making 100,000 will involve me really selling hardcore. We shall see my friends.

Update

The Asian girl blew me off. Which is fine. The only thing that interaction taught me is that I don't have anything in common with this lady. I also need to make better eye contact. I guess I am still teachable. Today was leg day and I didn't do squats. I did quad extentions and hamstring curls and calf raises. I didn't feel dizzy probably because I didn't try to kill myself on the squat rack.

hard work brings you back to reality again...and again... no lies...no excuses....get better keep growing.

Asians...

So I met "Chi" out at the black dog on Tuesday. I wasn't expecting much. I even lifted weights next door before meeting her. I wanted the day to be success one way or the other and I figure..well if nothing else I will get a monster pump in! When I showed up it was pretty obvious which person she was...she was the Asian one. The meetup went ok at first. She is a hard worker and is really intense about her work. I asked questions and made good strong eye contact. I was mindful to move slow since I have the habit of being wild and crazy. It went well and she was nice. I busted her balls a bit and she gave me the business. My friend "K" then came up and busted her balls like crazy..then we all three had a good time laughing. It was a good time and went better than expected. I didn't really lay on the romantic charm, but I felt good that she could see what my vibe was about. She obviously felt like she was having fun because she hung out for 2 hours. I would give the grade of the meetup as an "A" because I had fun..."K" had fun...and I met someone new. This brings me to a girl named "L" That had the funniest rudest reply to me that I felt I need to blog about. It was quite funny to me.


L: You rode the short bus growing up didn't you? *She pats me on the shoulder
Raphael: Oh I saw that pat on my shoulder. Things are getting sexual in here!
L: That wasn't a sexual pat on the shoudler. That was a pat because I feel sad that you are stupid.
Raphael:HAHAHA BRUTAL!

Winning is refusing to buy a playstation 3

There was a ps3 that came on sale. One of my friends is selling it. I am choosing not to buy it because of the following reasons.

1:) I need to focus my attention on growth..whatever that maybe. I could be watching and learning through motivational youtube videos. I like to play video games, but my priorities are in this order. God..health..myself..family..work..etc. That money I spend on that could go towards me achieving more important goals..like praying more..giving back to the community more...healthier food...family etc. So in short...not investing time/money/energy into a ps3 is winning.

Being average

My brain is set up to do the least possible amount of work to survive. I know this and I know how it keeps me down. What can I do about it? I can pray about it. I know that God can do anything as long as I give my thoughts and actions to him. I know I can give myself some time and space to grow. The really difficult thing is I read about all the goals that I have accomplished over the last year or so...working out....dating woman...giving back...growing...etc.. Lately all those accomplishments seem hollow. I know why they seem hollow. It is because my brain by default is set up just to get enough food and shelter to make it through the day. I will continue to think about improvement and I will put my heart and soul into get better.


The reward is in the action.

My brain is set up to equal success with results. An example of this is if I am ripped after a workout than it is successful. I am moving towards defining success with the following questions..."Did I build my character up?" "Did I cheat?" "Did I give a good effort?" "Am I proud of the work I put in?" Being happy dependent on an outcome is a wrong. It is so wrong I think it is a sin. The success is in the action itself. Not the result.


I did a good job not buying a playstation 3. Is the title of my next blog.

Wednesday

Wednesday was ok. Watched the Wire season 4. It was off the chain.

goal setting

Last year I kicked ass and made all my goals. This year is off to a fast start and I am doing awesome going towards my goals. Congrats to me for working hard.

asian lady

I have an Asian lady coming to see me at the black dog tonight. I think English maybe her 3rd language by the way she sends mw texts. This might be a bad idea cause I am sure my friends will be there while we chill. Whatever though. It will be ok.

Monday nite.

After getting my monster pump in at the gym I decided to have a chat with my friend Adam about how to achieve proper pump. It was a wonderful pump and I miss it already. I decided to sit down and watch the wire season 4. I was almost through an episode when "Bridge" texted me to go Perkins. She did homework and I ate 6 eggs. That is the only thing I can think of that isn't crappy for my muscles. Bridge is a work a holic. I am not sure if we have anything in common, but she likes me for sure. So I got girls.inviting men to skate and a different girl to Perkins. Life is ok right about now for mw!

Pumped

I haven't worked out for awhile and I didn't plan on working out tonight, but I had some energy and did chest and tri's like what my day 1 should be if I started over. Damn I got a sick pump in. Like I had to text my friend adam about how sick my pump was. It was a nice little surprise. The pump is what body builders go for and I got a monster pump in.

Super Bowl Sunday

Yesterday I woke up got my stuff together an drove to St. Joseph. I made a stop at burger king on St. Joseph Avenue because they have a pop machine with 50 different kinds of pop plus they have wi-fi. I texted "K" for a bit and then went to my Dad's house to watch the Penguins game. The Penguins kicked dick on their way to a victory. My dad cooked me two meals and we watched the superbowl. It was a damn good day and I enjoyed the super bowl commercial very much. Ray Rice is my favorite Running Back other than JCharles. I like small Running backs that can squat 1000 pounds. I got home and I am attempting to rest and sleep more. I seemed to get that job done.

awareness

Sometimes small awareness about your diet can pay off big. Before I hung out with my dad this weekend I stopped at burger king. I was going to use their wi-fi and get a pop. I thought about getting some nuggets or a chicken sandwich. I was able to hold off until I got to my dads house. He made me low-calorie fish..baked potato with no calorie butter spray stuuff, then lean turkey during the super bowl. It was probably the cleanest day of eating I have had sans the pork skins I had when I got back to my APT. Alittle effort and awareness of what you put into your body goes along way. It was fun watching the super bowl with my dad. We also watched the penguins win. I will follow up later with a better report on this day, but I wanted to give myself credit for making a tough choice of food that will help fuel my greatness long term.

KU loses and skc

Ku lost. Sucks, but they are the best basketball factory in the nation right now..kentucky is looking like they won't even make the tournament.. I had a chance to watch Sporting KC. MIKEY LOPEZ looked to be playing well in his first in game action. He looks like he is a smaller guy which I don't like, but maybe he will get his ass to 24 hour fitness and crush out some sets with me.

Black Dog

There was a girl named "H" that I met online and we met up at the black dog today. I thought she was going to suck because her diet was weird and she seemed weird. She was cool and we had a bit of a laugh. It was a good hour of interaction. I don't know if she will get back to me, but I was glad that she didn't flake and that it went ok.

Skate City

LC is serious about her skating. So she wanted me to go out to skate city so she could break in her new skates. It was fun and they played "Funky Town" for 40 minutes in a row. I ate a corn dog and my skates that I had when I was in high school still worked. Score! So that was nice and it was very fun. It was actually very silly and I am glad I can skate because it might be fun to take dates too. I don't think LC likes me as boyfriend, I think she likes the fact that I don't talk..and if I do talk she gives me a stern look of disapproval. I have to hand it to LC....she is serious about roller derby, she talked at length about skates and wheels, and I approved of that. I like geeks. This is a geek thing to say and I busted her balls on it.


LC: You dance like frankenstein
Ray: YOU MEAN FRANKENSTEIN'S MONSTER OHHHH
LC: YES I KNOW I KNOW


Everyone confuses calls Frankenstein's monster frankenstein..but it was actually Dr.Frakenstein.

Getting shut down..and growing.

These last two weeks out in the world have been like a Feb morning. COLD AND DARK. I am having fun though. "K" and I have been getting shut down hard by making new friends and meeting girls. Yesterday we went out and there was some epic shutdowns. I have to say the worst was the waitress that loved me last week and gave me her number couldn't even say two words to me this week. People have their own problems going on and I truly laughed. Especially because I went on to get rejected 15 or so more times this night. It was what I called a maitenence night. It seems like no one wants to have fun until the weather changes to warm, but we are trying to keep our momentum of being extroverts going and improving. Some epic girls that I met was one from POLAND who needed an INTERPRETER total to me. I guess "Nice booty" doesn't translate well to Polish ladies. I met a German woman who I taught how to do the Hokey Pokey on the dance floor. I also was being goofy and actually brought a notebook and a piece of paper and was asking woman for their numbers on the notebook. People thought it was funny but I was shutdown. I actually had a really good time goofing around and dancing though and I grew in toughness, funness, and not giving a careness. Here are some interactions

*homeless guy comes up to me*

Homeless guy: Hi you guys look like fine young men
Ray: I don't have any money!!!
Homeless guy: I didn't mean you harm (he actually looked scared because I said it pretty sternly
Ray: No problem
K: How did you know he was asking money?
Ray: It's Dtown KC baby...you sense these things.

Girl: I like your scarf can I wear it? *puts it on her neck.*
Ray: It has nacho cheese ALL over it
Girl. FU!!!
Ray: HAHAHAHA

One girl I met Brittney really liked me but had a boyfriend.

So I still have the date on Tuesday one today and a different girl wants me to go Skating today and I am having fun. My life is a blessing indeed.