11/30/2016

I did 5 pectin batches and 2 piece lists today. Pectin batches are a beast. I could have done a better job of figuring out which pallets stayed on the ground. I felt crappy and my muscles weren't very cooperative today. So I just pushed through and got done what I could.

11/29/2016

I was able to do 15 starch batches and 2 piece lists today. I had a bag fall and explode so that was a bummer. Also starch batches you can smash out fast. I did the run and got it finished. No impacts for the month for our team. I wore my chiefs jacket. It is my favorite. Tyreek Hill is beastmode. Noventra 02/03/02 Has no room to go up at all so be careful getting that product out.

11/28/

Today I got one piece list done and 10 batches done. It took me longer to do the 10 because I suck at moving things around going fast. The company is going to hire 2 more batch setup workers. So I kind of wonder if my days are number. All I can do is keep working. Also I have to remember to push these carts in. Some guy was complaining because I didn't push these carts in all the way.

Chiefs

The Chiefs won in a wild game. I can't really explain the game. It was amazing though. I am glad they won and I am going to eat popcorn and go to bed.

11/27/2016

I bowled 6 games. 3 in league play which was my worst bowling that I have had for awhile. I bowled in a tournament and I did a bit better but not great. I did a good job not getting too pissed and did a good job making my way through the games even though I wasn't happy because I was bowling bad. One thing I need to be proud of is at-least I had the self-discipline to bowl. I could have said Nah I am tired and gone home but I took my opportunity to get some tournament experience. I need my follow through to be like I am shaking someones hand.

11/24/2016

I was able to flex a little bit of my self-discipline when I didn't overeat at thanksgiving lunch. Pretty much if you want results in losing weight you have to be semi-miserable.

taking action

Today I was on chiefsplanet and they advised someone to go on reddit and sign up for personal finance. I didn't want to because I am lazy. I will do what it takes to be better at personal finance. EVEN ON TURKEY DAY.

11/23/2016

We did 11 batches today. We didn't get much done because of the holiday.

11/22/2016

Today was much better at work today. I did 2 piece lists and 10 batches. The piece list was BA 3 which seems to be tougher. The site manager stopped by to chat with me to make sure she did her good deed to wish me a good thanksgiving. That was a nice touch on her part. I was throwing bags like a madman and only got 10 batches. So that is a bit discouraging. But 10 and 2 piece lists is average. I would give the day a C. Going into Thanksgiving I hope to not make myself too sick with food and I hope to stay focused on being sober and just enjoying time away from work.

11/22/2016

I was able to drive around pretty good with the 6 batches I made on Monday. I can tell I am growing in my ability to drive around, to snag bags, and to build. So even if I hit some rough patches. I do see some encouraging breakthroughs. I like I said earlier the biggest break through is to overcome my fear and tell my fear to shove it. Also tell my depression and negativity to shove it as well. Cultivate, hone, redefine my work ethic, my perseverance, persistence, and self-discipline.

11/22/2016

I need to remember l0254 is 25 KG's

11/21/2016

Today I woke up and I walked a couple miles on the treadmill. I went to an AA meeting. I came home and rested. I went to work and I am competing in a weight loss challenge at work. I got weighed in there and I did pretty well I didn't win. I did win a hy-vee gift card for dropping 3 pounds in a week. A win is a win! I was out working and I noticed I messed up on one paper work on a bag. The kind of mistake that put me on probation longer than expected. I immediately get scared for my job. I just have to remember that it is just fear and that fear won't kill me. I guess I messed up on a couple more things because a guy was ragging on me just asking if I had a bad night on Friday. The truth is it is hard to work overtime when you have depression. It is hard to focus for long periods of time. I got 2 piece lists and 6 batches done which isn't good either. So overall this day was a D if we were scoring it A-F like a report card. The only thing keeping it from being an F is I didn't have an impact on my forklift and no one got hurt. I feel pretty good right now though. I just have to remember a part of my brain wants to keep me in fear and keep me depressed I just have to accept that for what it is and go about my business the best I can.

11/20/2016

Saturday was a decent progression in self-discipline. I didn't eat like total trash. One psychologcical tool that I use for work, safety. and diet (and booze) is take two to think it through. Think two minutes when you are at a crossroads.

11/19/2016

It was a rough week. I did one piece list and 9 batches. It was tough because there was foot traffic all over the place. Glad I didn't run over anyone and crash into anything.

11/18/2016

Yesterday at work Kyle said things were messed up. There were 7 things messed up. Then he said that none of them were my fault. Horray. I built 16 batches yesterday. I need work on my tag making ability and my ability to confirm batches quicker. I can throw the bags pretty good, but when it comes to the paper work. That is an area of improvement. I walked the dog for a bit today. I went to planet fitness as well. It sucks to go out in the cold. You have to cultivate, hone, improve your self-discipline and get out in the cold and do work.

11/17/2016

Today I went down and visited Raymond. We had a plan of attack for winter depression. I went to work and got 12 batches done. I asserted myself a bit better because I always get stuck on pectin which makes my numbers look lousy. We had a meeting so I probably could have gotten more done if it wasn't for that. I went for a run today. I am getting a bit better at running instead of walking. That is some progress.

11/16/2016

Yesterday was a rough day at work. I helped team build so my numbers sucked. I woke up today and went for a run. I start dogging it and not do some jogging, but then I remember that if I loaf in working out
I am going to loaf at work, loaf in AA. I know that the more I push the more I can grow my lungs, my legs, and confidence. The practicing working hard working out helps you work in all aspects of your life.

11/15/2016

Today I got to work and my head was a bit cloudy. It sometimes happens if I have a spell of depression. The first quarter of work was touch and go as I didn't feel comfortable just going all out. As the night progressed I felt more comfortable. I got 2 piece lists done and 10 batches. That is what you are supposed to get done. It seemed like everyone was in a bad mood and I was off as well. I am just grateful that there was no injuries and no impacts. I am thrilled that I got the 10 batches done. That is good to hit that number on a bad day.

11/14/2016

I always have to find sayings or different meme's to help me want to get out of bed early and stay up late. "Never give up" Or "I will never give up" is always a good one. I scratch and claw my way to stay sober day in and day out. To keep a job and to help others. I am like an ant. I will go over around or under a rock to get where I want to go.

11/14/2016

Last week was a bit of a pain because I had to remind my boss to sell back my vacation. I also had to go in early and stay late to get my benefits set up. I was able to execute and take care of business to get my health insurance, 401k, and other stuff taken care of. This week I have to get my oil changed and I may have to stay late one day late at work, but other than that it seems pretty cake. It also seems pretty cake compared to when I was going to school and going to work. When I get off work now I don't have homework. I can do whatever I darn well please. For that I am grateful. I woke today and didn't feel the greatest. I called Raymond and called my doctors office. I have been vocal with my doctor and my nurse that I may be getting more depressed as the winter comes and the days get shorter. She prescribed medicine on top of my medicine to help me with depression and focus. Right now the pharmacy is dilly dallying with red tape. I made it clear that this is why I take pills is to self-medicate. I need help. I feel better already because I voiced my frustration. I will be fine today and I think it is progress to voice how I am feeling to doctors and people around me. I went from a Kid that parties. To a kid that doesn't party. To an Adult who medicates himself. Now I want to be a person who works with AA and medical doctors to get myself feeling good and on safe medications to get through the days.

11/12/2016

Yesterday I woke up and I wasn't feeling the greatest. I went for a walk and used my will and skill to help myself enjoy the day better. I went down to Matt's the Tyrone Woodley and Stephen "Wonderboy" was epic. Woodley is a big black guy who looks to knock people out and get people to the ground. Stephen "Wonderboy" Thompson is the real life Jean-Claude Van Dame. He has a wiggle in him.


Here is a video of me breaking down the Woodley Thompson fight

11/12/2016

Today I woke up and went for a walk. Elliot Hulse really stresses to get into a habit of walking outside. It releases endorphines. You are less irritable and feel better because of long walks. So I got that walk and I think I maybe having a good habit of getting up and walking nailed down. I can force myself to go to Planet Fitness and force myself to walk, but lately it has been an easier habit to keep going. One of my goals day in and day out is to play and enjoy video games. I have great and expensive toys. I need to have fun with them or life is just all work. At work Kyle was a bit salty because we didn't get anything done yesterday. I did my job though. I had to build pectin and do all kinds of time consuming things tonight. Pectic is hard to do so I got 2 piece lists and 3 batches done. I cleaned and I got things set up nicely for 3rd shift on Sunday.

11/11/2016

Yesterday I completed what Tony Robbins calls "The Hour of Power" basically you just pray or do affirmations for an hour while you work out. Success, habits, ways of thinking, being passionate being happy...these are all daily rituals that you need to set aside time for. Acknowledging that fact helps me feel better which helps me not hate work so much. I went to work and our computer systems were down. There was no answer to when they will be back up. At first I was grateful because our computer systems are pretty good. This is the second time they have been down. My boss tells people to do 3 batches then put these steal racks in the racks. He jokingly tells me to get in the scissor lift because he knows I get sick. I told him I am down to do that. Someone needs to put me to the top and take away the key and just make me figure out how to cope with being that high. Maybe if I eat comfort food while being up in the scissor lift it will go well. So right as I get going the other workers start drifting off course. I know the right thing is to tell them "Our boss gave us xyz instructions lets work on that" I have to give myself credit for nutting up like that. They said "Fine but you are going in the lift" I said I know I am down I need to figure it out anyway. I get up there and the racks were awkward until i figure out how to balance myself, twerk my body and shovel these racks in there. The height wasn't bad because I wasn't pressed to the ceiling I was even with the top rack. I saw some growth and progress with my scissor lift skills and coping ability. For that I am happy and grateful. I was LUCKY the systems were down so I could work on my scissor lift game. I wasn't properly trained on the technical part of the lift, but I think overall I did the right thing by doing what I was told. The system didn't come back up until late and I stayed late. It wasn't an awesome feeling, but I know if I want to progress and move up in the company I have to pay the price. I have to be a team player. I have to dig deep even when I am tired and find a will to win and a will to succeed. I did the best I could getting one piece list done and then I left. So the scissor lift growth was good. The growing in communicating to others that "our boss told us to do this, lets do it because it is the right thing to do" I had growth in nutting up in that area. I also nutting up and had growth by staying late and digging around in myself to find some strength through fatigue and a crappy physical state.

My Dream Car

M



MERCEDES-BENZ The 2017 GLE350 SUV
MERCEDES-BENZ The 2017 GLE350 SUV

MERCEDES-BENZ The 2017 GLE350 SUV
MERCEDES-BENZ The 2017 GLE350 SUV


MERCEDES-BENZ The 2017 GLE350 SUV
MERCEDES-BENZ The 2017 GLE350 SUV

11/10/16

Today work was about normal. We had a meeting about safety. One thing that prevents me from keeping my mind on tasks is our computers never work and we never have our log in information. It makes it hard to keep mind on task. I brought it up in the meeting and it was met with lukewarm results. I can only try my best to make things better. I watched my outrigs today and made sure not to hit anything. We had a meeting so I only got 2 piece lists and 3 batches done. I was able to help third shift get off to a good start. I drove down to see Raymond today. To stay sober you have to go to meetings. You have to work the 12-steps and you have to keep current with your sponsor. I have the self-discipline to see him every week and for that I am grateful.

11/09/2016

Yesterday went alright. I built around 18 batches with 2 piece lists. I stayed late and made sure I looked like I was happy to do so. About midway through my shift I got really salty and cranky. I was annoyed. I know when it gets tough that is when you write your legacy. That is where the growth is. So I just grinded harder and pushed hard because it is when it is hard where you make the most progress and growth. So I am sure I will see some growth when I feel better I can whip around better with the Forklift. I have to watch my Outrigs as well. I pull up to the rack and came awful close to hitting the post a couple times. I did wear ear plugs because ears were still sore from Monday. I made it a point yesterday to play forza 4. My subwolfer and T.V. look great and I consider myself lucky to have a good setup for a good to great video game experience. I put a list of goals up in my locker things I would like 1.999 billion dollars. 2. Bass boat. 3.Sporting KC KU Chiefs and Royals tickets. 4. Inspire others 5. wear earplugs at all times. 6. Work out and cultivate self-discipline. I am going to put as much away for retirement as possible and have absolute faith that it will work out. As long as I am trading today's comfort for a better tomorrow I can feel like I have something to look forward to. That is more important than the actual money. There is a skill and cultivation of trading today's comfort for tomorrow's fortune.

Doing the Right thing

I have read enough books to know that the best way to save money is to have it taken out of my check so I don't even see it. I have faith in that strategy. It is painful as hell though. I want my check as large as possible. One thing successful people do is trade today's comfort for tomorrows treasure and fortune.

11/07/16

Yesterday was on o.k. day. I woke up to gray skies and I wasn't in a great mood. I thought to myself "What can I learn today? What can I do to get better?" That seemed to help me nudge me to get going. I took a shower and I went to an AA meeting. Last week I was rushing around and Calen had a bag rip on him. Instead of helping or going around I ran right through it like a jerk. I wasn't sorry, I was sorry I got caught. I made an ammend to him that I won't drive through product and I will help to clean that up next time. I got my piece list done pretty good. It was accurate as my prints came out. I volunteered to do one of the tougher rooms which is the pectin room . The batches were big but I did my best. Calen said I was doing good. At the end of the night I had an area of opportunity. I walked into a room without earing protection and a guy banked a hammer against a vat and it gave me a huge headache and made me dizzy. I called the nurse and she said to check in with her today. I feel o.k. today and my ears are ringing but nothing major. So everyday I need to have hearing protection on. It's not worth losing hearing or getting sick over.

11/06/16

I do good in not getting caught up in facebook nonsense-

11/04/2016

Today I had the day off. I went for a walk. I got some notes together. One big thing success books always talk about is having a schedule made up. I made the schedule, but didn't follow it too closely. I plan on reading more tomorrow. I went for along walk and I got my picks in for football.

11/03/16

I did 11 batches for cell three and 2 piece lists for 5-6. I need to put 4 boxes on the bottom. I made things all crappy looking because I have never stacked the materials I did today.

11/02/2016

I didn't get much done at work yesterday. I was wheeling and dealing on the forklift. I Pushed pushed and pushed, but I only got 3 piece lists done. I then had the choice of doing batches for the cell that wasn't running that day or throw bags with Shayne for a cell that was running. I helped throw bags because I think that is what the right thing was to do. The bags and the boxes in the piece area haven't been making sense. Like yesterday it said there was 4 boxes of one thing and there was 3 boxes with no KG's on them. I threw them all on my forklift and transfered all the KG's because my guess is they combined boxes in the kg's but not in the system. So now I bet the room calls for a box thinking they are 4. I could have just transfered 2 boxes, but I have to grab all the materials on the piece lists so my name would show up at 8 am in RED if I didn't xfer. So it is definately a catch-22 situation. I just have to do my best and do what I think is right and let God deal with the results..I did a good job yesterday turning down food over and over until after work. It is hard to turn down food and harder to do it over and over because you have to be rude and tell them no. I can't be up and down with my energy while on the forklift. It is dangerous. I have to give myself credit for drawing a line in the sand and cultivating my strength of saying NO.

11/01/2016

Yesterday my boss wanted me to stay late. We have had lots of people calling in and on vacation. I was glad to stay because I like money and I don't often get to show what kind of worker I am. I did 10 batches and 3 piece lists which isn't great, but I worked around my boss who stayed late so there was some growth there. He even commented that I am better on my forklift. One thing that did go wrong is I had to cancel a batch and I didn't pay attention to the material except for the one that was messed up so I had a batch built but then the computer sent me around the warehouse when I cancelled the batch. So next time I need to pick and choose the materials I already have on a pallet when I correct a batch.