Christmas Wrap up

I was able to buy something for my nephew. I spent money on my mom as well. I haven't been able to do much since Davids death and the stress for work. I am just glad Christmas is over. I had some time off today. I went to Buffalo Wild Wings and I had a chicken wrap. I actually had a chicken wrap two days in a row. I went for a couple walks. If there is one thing I got done is I was able to walk more. I will continue to focus on the things I am grateful. 1. Not being hungover 2. Not being in jail. 3. Having a roof over my head and heat. 4. Having a dvd player to listen to Tony Robbins cd's. My parents are drunks or crazy people. That makes Christmas better for me. My sister and her boyfriend are awesome. I am grateful I got new glasses...these blue glasses are dope. I am grateful for my shoes...they are dope. I am grateful for my new watch it is dope. I am grateful for prayer. It helps to focus me on what is important.

Christmas Gratitude List.

Thought I would reflect on somethings that I am grateful for. If you are grateful you can never be poor. 1. Running water 2. Hot and cold water. 3. America...I am so thankful and happy I live in America. 4. My mom and dad!
5. My grandparents! 6. The Byrdman 7. David Manley! 8. Nachos 9. 311 10. The Urge. 11. Scarface on DVD. 12. I am grateful I don't have to listen to Nickleback that much. 13. Star Bucks 14. Black Dog. 15. The Above the Rim Soundtrack. I am grateful for Reebok Kamakzi's. I am grateful for no DUI's and NO BEING IN JAIL. AMAZING. I am grateful for John Templeton. He only spent 50 cents out of every dollar he made. I am grateful for hot dogs. They are delicious. I am grateful for cell phones. I am grateful for Red texting me when I worked at farmers. She got me through boring days.

I am grateful for Ice Cube and Dr. Dre. They are some Fine rappers. I am grateful for the 2015 World Series title. I am grateful for the book "Think and grow rich"

It's not what you earn. It is what you keep.

It is not what you earn it is what you keep.

when you are 20 you are worried about what people think about you. When you are 40 you don't care what people think about you. when you are 60 you learn that no one was thinking about you at all.

I have been reading more and more as of late. I found good investing podcasts. I am not going to take action. I am proud I put aside money out of my 401K though each month. I am a student of the money game.

Over the weekend I found out my roomate David died. I was expecting it. I bowled decently well. I am around 170-180 and I suck on ten pins. I know I will get better.

I will write more about dave in the upcoming days. He was an unselfish guy. He always cooked and cleaned for me when we were roomates.

Christmas list

One thing that really helps me work is the large amount of toys, money, clothes, and money that my current employer and previous employer gave back. Yesterday I saw a room full of toys to give back. At that point I knew that if I do my part kids are going to have a good christmad. I always try to give to the United way, March of dimes, and other charitys when offered.

All-Or Nothing

This concept keeps coming up on why I am stressed out. Not everything is all or nothing or a Zero-Sum game. You can be dieting and slip up and go right back to your diet and be "dieting" I have it in my head that if you aren't counting calories and being obsessive about dieting, saving money, working out, you aren't doing enough.

Cortland

I was able to buy Cortland a gift certificate to Game Nutz today. I also bought him a new wire for his sega genesis. It feels good to be able to think about someone else. I watched him play Sonic for awhile. I found a new AA spot that is near my sisters. It was a productive day.

Tuesday

Tuesday was fun. This girl Seanna...(Shawna) who has her fashion game on tight, told me about MK watches. I listened to her advice. I got the watch she liked and dad bought me the watch. The watch is straight up bomb. It feels good everytime I wear it. It symbolizes that every once in awhile you humble yourself to get help with your fashion game and you get to rock some bomb stuff. I have been wearing my One Stars more which is weird. They are old but they are finally broken in and feel good. I lost my vans. I don't know where those shoes went. I love the chiefs right now. Derrick Johnson is amazingly awesome! The rest of the week is going to be not good. I had a good weekend with Matt watching the fights. I can't wait to watch more this week.

Sunday

On Thursday I bowled o.k. I worked out and did a decent job of not being too bad on my diet. I took my mom to the doctor and that was cool. Saturday I worked and it was really busy. This is a busy time of the year. I can't wait to rise to the challenge. On Sunday I watched football with Jason and Adam and that was good. My sister bought me a cake and I bought myself a steering wheel.

Thursday

thursday I kept my diet game on tight. I watched Iowa state come back and beat iowa. I played some star wars. I took some pictures of shoes, my car, and a hooded sweatshirt.

Monday

Monday sucked. I picked up my anti-depressant medicine and I took that before work. It made me a bit sick and I was tired. I left work after a blazing 2 hours. I came home and I found a desk outside so I set up that desk in my room. I know that I need to trust in life and trust in God. I still don't like to just give up on a day like I did today. That is ok I met with Raymond and my diet seemed to do o.k. today. chicken spinach etc. A shake...I ate alot of spinach today. Tomorrow will be better. I know this is true because it is Science.

Sunday

I am trying to have a cheap day at Buffalo wind wings. I spent lots of money on medicine and doctors this week. I am trying my hardest not to spend money today. My diet has been going alright. I know if I work on my diet in 26 years I might see some results. My uncle and I bowled well in our Thanksgiving tournament.

The Week

The week started with me getting my new role and being demoted sucks. That is ok. EVERYTHING IS AWESOME. EVERYTHING IS COOL WHEN YOU ARE PART OF A TEAM. The week went alright. Couple of friends wanted to hang but they flaked. my sisters house is cool. I was able to read and just kind of lift. I am on the day 2 of the baller diet which is tough to follow because diets are tough.

Monday

I didn't sleep well on Sunday night. I ate some to help me fall asleep which I hate to do, but I figure I need to get some sleep. I woke up and I just wanted to concentrate on hitting my goals today. Get my medicine ordered, take my back my gloriously overdue video games. Get to work... and start working on getting back on my game. I was pretty cool to people. I mean I like people. My class gave me a card and they gave me snacks for doing a good job. It was a nice gesture but the only thing I feel is sadness and depression. I know tough times and winter doesn't last so I will just little by little get back to AA and get back to being of service. I take comfort in getting stronger and wiser. I had lots of great feedback as my time as the trainer and I was visable and I got great experience. I have to work on not having a bitter attitude about it. There was plenty of people who applied for that job and I got it. I just couldn't succeed this time. I am going to keep working and have the best attitude possible. Just because I am broken doesn't mean everything is broken, in fact the only thing really wrong is I am dissapointed. It hurts my feelings. Stuff happens though. Learn, grow, and move on.

Thanksgiving

I had a good thanksgiving. I ate last like a real man. I played grand theft auto and enjoyed myself. I loved playing Farming Simulator.

Just got back from Wal-Mart

I just got back from Wal-Mart where I got the best gaming equipment that I can buy. With the week I had I deserve some trophy's. When I went there I saw a couple girls and I ran the routine "Jealous girlfriend" The routine goes you ask two girls "My friend just got caught with pictures of his Ex on his phone, should he lock his phone." Once you get that opening statement the girls you can see their reaction it is an opener. They bought it. So then I ran through the routine and the mother hen "The protective one" made sure the other one kept it moving. It felt good to be using the same routines to talk to ladies that I have been using since the start of the 2000's LOL. I can't wait to play these video games. It isn't so much the video games, as it is the OPTION to play video games. This week was a hard week. I reached out to Phil, Jason E, and Travis W. All from chiefsplanet oddly. I need to continue to take action to design the life I want and not get in the habit of just doing enough to get by. Life is all about working towards a life you want to have. I know if I cultivate my discipline and take massive massive massive action I will get to that. I got sent down the the minor leagues but I will keep my game up until I get called up again. Just like Ventura did for the Royals and Moustakas. They are champions and I am a champion as well. I think my friends and how they have my back show how I am champion. In my heart I know I am a champion.

Moving Forward

Today I recieved the news that I was demoted from my job as a trainer. It wasn't unexpected as I was unable to do my duties. Going forward I will learn from the process and try not to beat myself too much. Some of the experience I have gained will help me in the future. I will no longer need to go on a business trip where I have to front the money I fronted the money this time just because I needed the experience.

Saturday. On friday I finished up the second class that I have had. I did a good job teaching my workers how to use visualization techniques to help hone their skills at their job. I am sure with hard work and time they will be successful. Through the week I bought my class cookies. I know you can't buy peoples love, but I want to do everything I can to show them that I care about their success and how well they do. I am willing to go the extra mile so they grow .000001 percent each day. On friday I was about to buy a new pair of glasses. My glasses game is getting better. I was also able to give my number to a male model named Eric. Eric seems to have his game on tight. I want to show him my new car and show that we are both interested in success. I don't think he took me seriously but maybe if he does he can learn something. On Friday I also called Bahr up to discuss leadership skills. I don't know if Eric had anything to add, but I figured while I have the time I might explore the options that he might give me a nugget for help. I haven't texted Bryce in a day or two, but I am urging him to get on stubhub to get some jayhawk tickets. My sister and I live close to the field house and it would be fun to go to a game while the Royals are not in action. The Chiefs play this weekend but I have been busy so I can't keep up with them. I was able to bowl on Friday night. I have a new "Jump Finish" to my bowling game that seemed to give me more length on my ball with a stronger back end. I bowled two decent games but didn't convert spares the way I wanted to. I should work on focusing more on each shot and not at the Led Zepplin song that is playing at the South Side Fun center. I was able to cultivate a better relationship with my friend and peer Grant. Grant is a hard worker who plays guitar and likes to play video games. I will continue to push his skills as a team player and as a person who helps the room. Overall I have been doing good especially being cool in the face of late hires at work, difficult cross talkers, and I have delt with my lack of experience as best as I can. I have spent 33 years of my life gaining approval for being the funny guy and the nice guy but now my reputation and my position in life does the talking and gains credibility so I am making the move from being the funny comedian I have always been to now a teacher, mentor, supervisor role. It is challenging to say the least. My end goal is to make the most money possible and to re invest that money as much as possible while teaching time tested principles that I have studied over the years to help gain success. My dad seems to have his game on tight. He is looking at a Jeep Trailhawk this weekend. Go Dad!

Thursday

This week is going well. It is really a grind trying to work everyday. I know that I will not please everyone everyday. There is some grey area in the world especially in business that I need to be comfortable in. Yesterday I met with Tressa. She seems to be doing well. She brought out her Bearded Dragon. Cold blooded Reptile. It was very weird situation as this lizard is expensive and can bite off a toe. The same kind of animal bit off Sharon Stone's toe. KU lost on Wednesday and my dad probably celebrated. Tonight I am trying to hang out with my friend from BWW who is very fun. I am grateful for my Boss Sam, My mentor Annie and Grant. Grant and Annie are communication savy and have been around the training and call center game for along time. They truly care about the work they do. Today I bought cookies for the class. I always want to do whatever I can to become the .000001% each day so that way I can keep getting better and better. As Raymond says the level for growth is infinite. KU is looking good. I can't wait to see where Perry Ellis ends up as one of the all-time KU ballers. My car is pretty sweet and even my boss commented that it was good. I haven't really had time to really go in-depth with Jim Rohn or other business books lately. Hopefully I will have time this weekend to reinvest the time into learning so I can keep learning and make more money and hone my communication skills. The Chiefs had a big win last week. They made Peyton Manning silly. That was glorious. I am glad we have some more chiefs games coming up.

Monday and Tuesday

Yesterday I worked. It was a bit of a long day, but I made it through. After work I drove all the way over to independence and dropped off my check to the dealership. I can't wait until I get my new car squared away so I can chill and eat cheetoo puffs and not spend so much time at dealerships and other non-sense. I still need to fax in my bill from enterprise. I need to check out KU tickets. Dad if you are reading jump on Stub Hub and check out some games. We got the sweet hookup because my sister lives close. Also I need to invite Bryce to some games because we haven't hung out for awhile. MAX MAX MAX A MISS is getting big.

Austin from supplement next to planet fitness

I met Austin from planet fitness who is into supplements at Starbucks.

The Week that was.

Hello Sunday! This week was full of adventure as I continued to get my car situation handled. It was my second week of training a new class and it had some challenges. I have been delt a nice hand of cards with the new hires this time. They are smart. My Co-Facilitator Annie has good "Trainer game" so I can just work hard and when I start sucking she comes in to help out. I had a meeting with my boss to speak about my future goals. I would one day like to be site leader. We started working with some plans to get that training in check. I know it will be humbling because my grammer and proper english sometime suck, but at-least I am willing to work on it. On Friday I went to the KU game. My dad wasn't able to make it, but he didn't wreck his car trying to get to the game. KU looks good. Lots of returning players. Perry Ellis, Frank Mason III, Svi, Traylor, and Bragg JR looks good. We split 2 in bowling and I left tons of 10 pins. That was a bummer, but there is always next week!

Sunday

On Saturday I woke up and my dad and I went and bought a car. Collin and the staff at landmark dodge did a good job, not messing things up to the point where I wasn't going to buy from them. I drove home and I bowled badly. This week was marred by bad computers and just technical difficulties. Oh yeah and I just ran my 500 keys through the was.

KU basketball

Work has been tough and hopefully I get a settlement on my jeep this week. Ben, Sheree, and I went to KU basketball game. It was fun. The road to the final four is upon us.

Tuesday

Yesterday was the start of another class. It seemed to go alright. I get positive feedback because I worked hard on presentation and knowing the material. Tomorrow is the KU game. I am excited for the season. The Royals won the World Series and it wasn't surprising because every fan every person from the orginiazation worked hard and worked together. It was no surprise that they won the trophy. Good job by Dayton Moore finding awesome character guys along with guys with awesome talent. The ability to have team chemistry really helped put a team out on the ball field that never gave up. They put tremendous pressure on the other team at all times. It has been said that if you know how to manage few you will get alot. That goes for money and people. If you can manage a small amount of dollars you won't have millions of dollars. I take that to heart and always try to really take care of the few workers I have along with taking care of myself. I did a good job not getting butt hurt with my jeep being broken in and totaled. Hopefully I get a check soon so I can get the process if getting a new vehicle quickly. I got to hang out with my parents for the final out of the World Series. That is a memory that will last a lifetime.a

Waiting on the Royals game

Somethings I have learned. Always ask people who you think are better than you in spiritual or in finance...always ask them questions. Today was more of the same. I was told to wait after the Royals game. I did my part to ask. Now onto the Royals game. I think the Royals will close it out tonight. I am listening to one of my favorite bands right now to get pumped up. "THE SWORD" they are truly retro rockers.

Sunday

Today we stand one win away from The Royals win the world series. It all started in spring training. Lots of sacrifice and dedication to get out and watch the boys. Tonight I will spraying up seiltzer water all over the place. This week was a bit tough. We had a trainer leave and I had to train and watch the little birdies while they were in nesting. I did a good job staying calm all week. You really have to be a rock and have a great attitude when you are in a position to lead. You can't get mad at the small things. You have to focus on getting better in being a leader every day. On Saturday I bowled pretty bad but we still won four. Our team is pretty beastly. My dad, uncle and I are always pretty constant.

I did a good job not completely being butt hurt about my jeep. I will buy a new jeep and move onward and upward. Just like I do always.

I did a good job listening to Jim Rohns book...THE POWER OF AMBITION. I listened to that on Saturday. It talked about dreaming big and keep moving forward. You have to be of service and not of self-service that is for sure. Confidence is something you can't fake. When I am giving a presentation and because I sat at a desk studying the subject 8 hours a day for two years, yeah when I get in front of people I am going to have lots of confidence.

I was able to go for a walk on Saturday and Sunday. It was pretty swell.

Friday

This week went pretty well. I was able to use some time on Sunday to set up my phone to play some Jim Rohn speaches. There was alot of information about how to pick out winners in a group of workers. There was a section to set up expectations that most people won't show up consistantly to put in hard work. The example was that when you are sowing a field. The Birds get some of the seed. So when workers don't show up consistantly the birds get some of the workers. The metaphor was better when Jim Rohn does it. Yesterday I went with leadership at my job down to the Nelson Adkins. It was very beautiful and powerful. I made a painting myself of it and it was pretty crappy. People laughed at my painting but I did the best I could. I also got steak for free which was nice. Like I said the museaum was nice and I would recommend it to anyone. The christian paintings were powerful especially the one about John the Baptist.

Let your learning lead to action

One of the traps I fall into is just learning and not applying what I learned to jobs or things that bring value to the workforce. It is super lame to be book smart but not having any value to anyone or anything So let your knowledge lead to action, not just lead to knowledge.

Monday

This weekend started weird. On Friday I had the day off so I ran my estimate by the body shop. I have my jeep scheduled to be worked on Thursday. I also deposited my Geico deductible. I was tired and I slept most of the day. I ate brussel sprouts and I felt pretty sick most of the day. It was the rehersal dinner for THE BYRDMAN so I went to Lenexa and that went well. The Royals won and the food at Johnny's tavern was delish. I went to bed early that day on Friday. Saturday I woke up and got my tux ready for THE BYRDMANS wedding. I went to Lenexa and took pictures and I was somewhat sick during the mass. I actually felt like I was going to pass out several portions of the mass but I remembered to not lock my knees and breathe. After Mass I felt bad because I didn't feel good enough to go on the Bus. I get sick on car rides and I just felt like I was either going to barf or crap my pants. That was WITHOUT EVEN DRINKING. I went back to st joseph and just took it easy the rest of the weekend. Sunday I hung out with dad. He bought pizza. SKC ROYALS AND CHIEFS ALL WON. I was pretty happy going into Monday. Here I am Monday night and I am just going to Focus on the good stuff. Thankful to God that I have a place to live and I have enough money for CASEY'S PIZZA.

Thursday

Wednesday was a bad day in sports. The Royals lost badly and so did sporting kc. Sporting Kc won the u.s. open cup, but in regular season MLS play has played below average all year. I went with my friend and we had a good time even though SKC has been awful. The U.S. Open cup was passed throughout the cauldron which was cool. Yesterday I got my tickets to the exibition KU basketball game against Pitt State. I am looking forward to basketball season even though I am not sure how I am going to park in my sisters driveway since there is only two spots. I have been trying to remember to "focus on the good stuff" as the audio book I am listening to suggests. Taking an attitude of gratitude is definately important if you want to enjoy the ride of life. I have wants and desires but I have to still appreciate the gift of life and the extra stuff I have all around me. Bryce's wedding this weekend should be fun. He has come along ways since the days of high school. I can't wait to see all my buddies.

Tuesday

I have been listening to the audiobook by Mark Robbins. It has kept me positive. The title is "focus on the good stuff" It really helps me point out negative thinking. Positive thinking is important to love and appreciate life. Lots of times I get worried I am not good enough, but if I do my best things will be alright. Or at-least I will be alright with the outcome. I find myself not focused on the worry, but mostly just generally worried about pain associated with growth with teaching class. It will pass. One thing the book has taught me is to name the negative thinking. The voice inside my head that is negative I named Matt Cassel. So when I am talking I have to ask myself. If this is Matt Cassel talking. The crappiest qb ever? Or is it Ray talking, the awesome person talking!

Random Things

November 11th I have an eye appointment and December 11th I have a theropy appointment. I called Jeremiah Jefferson today to schedule an appointment for my jeep to be fixed. He works at briggs Auto. He was very nice so far. I will be emailing him a copy of my estimate to get the ball rolling on my jeep. My jeep also needs to be cleaned out. I didn't have the gumption to get my jeep cleaned out or do laundry this weekend. I was too busy watching cars #gofast and #turnleft. I got an audio book called "focus on the good stuff" which I really need. I am always focused on working and dieting and other stuff I don't concentrate or focus on the good things. I am thankful for not being in jail, drunk, or overeating all the time. I was grateful for being healthy and hanging out with my dad and watching Nascar. In my 20's I couldn't handle crowds or pretty much doing anything without being medicated because of anxiety. So I have come along ways in anxiety and being about to do stuff without freaking out. I am thankful for libraries. A person can read and apply self help books and really cultivate money or skills needed to make their lives better. That is an awesome thing.

Nascar weekend!

This weekend was Nascar weekend. On Friday I kept to myself and just rested. Friday was an in-depth session in class and it wore me out. Saturday I went by Lenexa Point to get the ball rolling on moving out of my sisters and moving on with my life. Saturday I went bowling and I had one game of 217. That is way above what I ususally bowl. My mom and dad are dieting so they grow old in age and healthy! That is not easy to do especially when all there is around Nascar events is chili dogs and beer. So that is good. Sacrifice and work is nessessary to build ones self. Bryce gets married this week. YASSS The Royals did an awesome job against the Blue Jays. The Blue Jays really bite the big one. No Sir...I don't like the Blue Jays! The Royals need to win 6 more games to win it all.

Thursday

It was a big win for the Royals yesterday. I didn't get to watch it because by the time I left work and got a walk in I was very tired. I should have tried to go somewhere. I hung out and played some ncaa 2008 as the 1996 jayhawks. Pierce dropped in 6 three pointers. I have been watching Grant teach class this week and I know the more I put in watching and learning the more I will get out. I ordered some checks today. I have an eye appointment on November 11th I have a theropy for my brain appointment on December 11th. I still need to get my dentist appointment going. I am mulling over different options for appartment. I want to live in lenexa that is some place reasonable but not too much of a roach motel. It is between madison of woodridge and lenexa point. Lenexa point is closer to work and cheaper but I don't know if it is good or not. Madison of woodridge is the old standbye. If it isn't broke don't fix it maybe what I go with. I will check out craigslist as well. Sometime next week I need to call about my car.

Tuesday october 13th

Big Win for the Royals yesterday. Today I forgot to take FIFA 2015 back to the library. My day didn't start off good. Traffic was bad, I am always super careful. Nothing would ruin a day faster than an auto accident. I was going through some of my theropy books today. I don't have too much anxiety these days unless I am traveling or unless I am going to teach a class that I am not familiar with the material. I can manage good enough not to pop xanix or to quit all together. I keep moving forward in my development in my mental health. I am glad I can go through anxiety and not quit or fold. I was thinking yesterday how life is like poker, exept you can never fold. You always have to play the hand you are delt and do it with a poker face. I do much better with stress and anxiety when I just try to focus on what I can do and not worry about the outcome. I get scared I am going to freeze up during the class. What I am really scared of is doing bad or struggling and having to keep asking for help. I am sure people don't mind helping because they want to develop me, but I don't feel that in my heart or my gut. I had lots of thoughts about reaping what you sow as well. There has been lots of time I have put in alot of hard work and it comes out like crap, but it is also like that for farmers. Sometimes you plant seeds grow crops and it floods and you start again. That is life. It is your attitude and action that make the diffence between winning and losing.

Monday october 12th

This weekend I listened to some music. I also spent time and energy getting two hours of an audio book by Jim Rohn onto my phone. It is important to always be learning and that can take a bit of time and effort to get it set up so I can learn some in-depth information. The book is called how to take control of your life. That is not exactly my phylosphy as in AA you do the work and let God, (Or life if you will) provide the outcomes. So I am looking forward to getting all the information of this book into my mind. I already have one concept down where I have been able to teach. It is a good idea to have your phylosphy's down about situations. Girls, guys, money, God, whatever. It is good to have those phylosophys down so you can adhere to what you think is right and benificial to you. Most people don't have those things thought out and written down. So they just cross their fingers and hope things go awesome. Which they never do. Things don't get better, you get better.

October..something or other.

This last week was a tough one. I had an entire class to teach with little or no material or help to prep for it. I handled it like a champ though. I have an easier week this week by default. I am not going to travel. I am going to co-facilitate some classes. This weekend was a good one for sports. Chiefs and Royals lost. Mo-west won. That is good. I listened to lots of Jim Rohn on how to cultivate philosophys on business and life. I already teach much of what he teaches.

Tuesday 10/06

Working the second late night in a row, I noticed that you really have to set up games you can win. I am very hard on myself and I don't set up many games to win. Even when I am playing fifa 2015 I have it on a hard setting. Sometimes you have to set up small victories throughout the day to keep you moving forward. Also as long as you are winning small victories with weight, money, and relationships, you are going to win the war. As long as you don't quit. I was wondering why I tend to be so weary and it is because I am always trying to save money, get in better shape, and be a better person. Setting up small little games throughout the day for you to win can help you feel better to get some momentum.

Ah certified

I went out of town. I was able to be achieve global certified. It was tough but worth it. I met lots of people. I met a Dallas cowboy cheerleader Allison. I think we are friends. I made it back and my job this week is to try to get my jeep fixed. I have been a big ball of stress but I have made some progress being a better teacher and facilitator. I still work out and I think I did a good job not eating like total crap when I was in columbus.

Friday

The week started off well. I got my window fixed in my jeep. I was feeling good about my week. Then someone slammed into my jeep while it was parked. I was in agony. I was very depressed for a day and a half. I knew if I keep going forward I would break out of it. I need to work on not taking things so seriously and not to blow things out of preportion. I moved on. Thursday I went to the escape room. That was fun. If you don't know what that is you need to google it. I grinded a whole bunch doing classes and presentations. Before going to bed I watched Jim Rohn videos to really learn the ins and out of some business techniques.

09/23/2015

Yesterday was a fun day. My friend Kurtis and Keith and I went out to black dog to hang out. We talked about cars and success. I talked about how my new job has me public speeking more. It was a good roundtable discussion. Keith is a beast at coding as is Kurtis. We talked and I was happy.

The Royals have been sluggish and just waiting for the playoffs. Sporting KC was trending downward but had a nice victory last friday. Chiefs had a bad bad loss on Thursday, but they seem to have a good team. MWSU has been doing alright.

Grant at work gave me some feedback today. Overall it was mostly positive. I am glad I did stand-up comedy and I know how people react when I public speak. There are some in-depth things that happen that I already know from doing comedy that come into play when public speaking and it is nice to already have the knowledge in my brain of what happens when you say this or when a person says that. I have been diciplined when it comes to saving for my 401K. My sister and her BF seem to be doing well. We all do our best to work out and put in hard work. My parents are doing well and My dad and I and uncle are in a bowling league. The book "The inner game of tennis" teaches me alot about the mental aspect of sports and bowling is no different. I get going bad in bowling and I have to slow down and just focus on slowing the game or my mind down. Breath Relax and Trust.

Saturday

This week was a challenge. My jeep got broken into again for the second time. My meds were stolen along with my Royals bag. It was a challenge and exercise in HOLDING YOUR HEAD UP AND MOVE ON. Pray for those who have to steal and be jerks. They have a worse life than I do. Cultivate your message of strength and hope so you can teach others have to be strong. People steal know it is wrong. You know in your heart is wrong. The people who steal live a lie and one day they will face that fact. When they do it will be painful.

Saturday

Saturday I woke up and went for a walk. I then went to Buffalo Wild Wings to watch KU. They are really terrible at football. I have some friends that work at Buffalo Wild Wings here in Lawrence which has made life a bit easier for me. This was a very long week for me. I didn't get much rest last weekend because I was preparing for my interview on Monday. The interview was a struggle. I need to have examples of me correcting people if they mess up or examples of me coaching people. I will know that for interviews coming up. Awhile back I was accepted for an Training Intern. It was the first time that my skills of speaking in public and my coaching skills were put on display. I was grateful for the time not taking calls and the time spent with the awesome trainers I was put around. We have several guys that are amazing at their jobs and the amount of time spent training people and the human touch is very humbling and nice to see. I have been going to a couple AA meetings a week along with meeting with my sponsor once a week. It is a pain in the butt but it provides me strength and coaching for everyday life. I have been putting aside money in my 401k which is tough but I know it is the right thing to do if I want money later in life. Overall I have been pretty happy especially when I actually got to talk in front of people. Motivation and speaking in front of people are right in my wheel house and for along time I never thought I was going to do what I actually like to do. I still love to really help people wherever I am at. Long hours in AA and long hours in doctors offices have got my anxiety, frustration, and general anger down to the point where I can go to work and have fun and enjoy being with my co-workers again. My sister and ben have put a bit of fire into to work out more. They have been reading books and getting after it on the treadmill. They read the right books and the have skills to do whatever they want. My friend Adam switched jobs and I am sure he will do well at his new job. He is an amazing worker that is always hungry to work and do well.

Weekend

This weekend was pretty good. I did tons of walking. I was grateful to eat lots of food. I went to see the blue angels. That was the highlight of my weekend. Other than that not much going on. I have been working hard everyday to become tougher and better at my job. I always try to develop myself and develop others. I listened to some Bad Religion this weekend. That was good. I am currently watching Sunday Night Baseball.
I played and recorded me playing destiny and MLB 2014. I am building my character up in MLB 2014 and I will be going to the Majors pretty soon.

Royals game

I was finally able to get out to a Royals game yesterday. They did not dissapoint. What a performance by the defense and a power show by the offense. We had the best seats and I ate this spin dip wedges until I was sick. I am working late tonight which is giving me a chance to write in my blog. I earned a 25 dollar gift card from work for being a real take the bull by the horns type of guy. The Royals are going to win the central division. Hard Work pays off!

The weekend

Received some news on Friday that we fell out of the bonus at work. So that was not good. I just made it a point to handle the situation with grace and dignity. I also then tried to spend less this weekend to try to make up for the loss of incone. The week at work was tough we were really busy. You have to really love money and really want to build wealth if you work. I watched ufc on saturday night at Buffalo Wild Wings and that was the highlight of my weekend. I met a guy from the band "the king devilles" we got to talk music so that was nice. I haven't had the money to go to sports events so I wore my new shoes for fight night. I was able to help a guy on saturday that faces the same challenges that I do. It is nice when I can actual help people and people want to allow be helped.

Thursday July 4th edition.

The Royals got swept by the Astros, but the Astros were really out for blood. Sporting KC rolls along in the U.S. open cup and SPORTING KC has been playing really well. The new goal keeper has really brought something special to the club. Kronburg and Marin were trash. Dom Dwyer had 4 goals in the win yesterday. Work is going well. I have to take off some time because I need time off to go to AA meetings so my paychecks have not been full paycheck which is a bummer but all my stats are decent. I asked my supervisor Aaron what I could do to get better. I have resolution training, I was hired in as a specialist *which is the highest* I have a talent for talking to customers and making them laugh. I have done everything I can to cross my I's and Dot my t's so I know that when I go into interviews I can point to specific things on how I learned, my passion for learning, and my passion for always setting my sights on what I can bring to the company not what I can get out of the company. So that is good. I get frustrated and depressed about my money but when I look back at my days and for entertainment I watch sports and play video games (which is cheap) I know that i am doing the best I can to save for the future. I am hopeful that the money I set aside for my 401k will grow nicely. At work we have a stock options but I wasn't enrolled in time. I got money back for working out, but that money went to getting a Tux for the Byrdmans wedding. Bryce has been texting me every week to check in. It means alot just to reach out. I know I am locked in so much that I don't even shoot out texts. I texted matt the engineer yesterday though. Living at my sisters has been good. I play video games with my nephew which is a fun experience. Even when I don't have the energy to play I love to chop it up about playing video games. I hope I can continue to find ways to more money, I can do things everyday to get closer to mother universe, and I can continue to grind away at video games.

Monday

Sunday was ok. Monday was terrible I was sick and left after 3 hours of work. I was sick most of the night, I was able to play some video games with cortland and watch videos even though my stomach felt like hell. I was able to clean my jeep out and wash it. I went to an A.A. meeting and I met a couple of cool guys. This guy was really nice and he is leaving to cali. I played F1 2013 and did well. Yesterday sporting kc did not do well. They lost on a last second shot from Real salt lake.

6/19

This week has sucked. I keep on just being present to the moment and doing the next right thing and things will work out. I also focus in on the Royals who are doing amazing. Great defense and great bullpen and they are killing teams. Sporting KC took care of business in the U.S. open cup game. A nice out swinging ball from Benny and Zusi headed the ball home. Tiger is doing awful at the U.S. Open.
In weightlifting news I did just on Wednesday and I still feel hungover from the workout. I know the muscle fibers tear and you will feel like crap because your body needs to repair the muscles, but wow. I feel every bit of 34 years old. Happy Fathers day to my dad. I got him a sandwich.

I have been playing some Destiny for ps4, f1 2013 for xbox 360 and MLB 2014 for Ps4 pretty fun.

Monday and Tuesday

Monday was terrible. I was still able to go to an AA meeting. That is the only thing that went well. The Blackhawks won the Stanley Cup. Tuesday was better. It helps not to fight whatever is going on. Just accept things as they are. Especially traffic.

Wednesday

Wednesday was good. Just trying to always focus on the now and not get into the past or into the future. I went over to Raymonds today to do some 4th step work out of the 12 steps. I did a couple things that I really am proud of. Yesterday there is this attractive lady on my facebook that wanted to go to the flogging molly show. Now I just am done lying to myself. I could try to work the situation to make time with this woman or I could do what I do best which is watch sports and enjoy the A.C. Nothing wrong with making time with a lady, but I think this one would have made it apparent she liked me awhile ago. I am making better choices these days in what I do. I need to do the things I do best like play video games and watch the Royals because when I try to do things like take randoms to concerts expecting some kissy kiss action i get let down.

I lifted weights today. The best way to get in shape is to lift weights. You can do cardio and burn calories but you will burn fat as well your calories burned at rest will be lowered. A person like needs to have a balance of 66 percent weights and 40 percent walking so I keep my muscle up where I am burning calories just sleeping. I made mistep getting down to 197 and being skinny fat when I was low-carbing. Then I went upto 240 because I had no muscle. I am not impressed with my man boobs in the gym but I am accepting of myself. It is all good. I am a 34 year old still trying to lift. That is more than the average fatty at wal-mart. I am having more fun with my body that I ever have because I made a promise just to enjoy what I have.

The Weekend

Sporting KC and the Royals are coming out of their little funk. I had a decent week and was able to get my job done at work. I had fun with my dad watching the Royals.

Friday

Friday. Listening to the Floozies and kicking it. The Cavs can't keep up with Warriors. I am doing curls at work. Thank God they banned cell phones. I can lift some weights and I can also work harder. Everytime I don't eat when I am stressed and don't use my cell phones I feel myself getting stronger. Wimpy is drooling on the floor.

June 1st 2015

The weather has been good. That has been nice. I don't like to be sweaty. I have been lifting more weights. I was really proud of myself because my work banned cell phones and instead of crying like a baby I started doing some simple curls and shoulder presses while I talk. I also am reading some books. It has been a good run as of late. I am doing everything I can to go to AA meetings do the twelve steps and talk to people and my sponsor Raymond. I have a big hole to get out of with bills but as long as I am not freaking out about it I can make progress. There are lots of times I have heavy anxiety where I have to drive, but those times seem to be going down with some treatment and practice not freaking out just because I have some anxiety. The worst is when I have anxiety and I feel bad for awhile and burn up some gas driving around. In my mind eventually I want to be a spiritual rock that I don't get upset unless it is for a reason. My sister and Ben have been awesome to me. I have been getting along with my nephew and the dog here in Lawrence. I am in good standing with my parents. I know how it works though, you get yourself in a bind then you get out then it becomes hard to keep moving forward when there is no drama. I will do my best to make sure everyday I do what it takes to stay sober and to maintain some sort of spiritual connection. I don't know what will happen in the future and I am not positive it will be awesome out the outside, but I know in reality that I will always have what I need. Maybe not everything I want. I have to be good with that. Royals are on a skid but they will be playing better soon. SKC is always awesome.

Stuff

Last week I got my oil changed-teeth cleaned-medicine refilled. This week I went to the doctor. I am hanging at my sisters. It is alright.

Thursday and memorial day

Back in the day I would never miss a party. I am trying to be that way about AA. I am going to all the meetings I can. Work is going well. I am pretty highly ranked and I am trying to do weird stretching and yoga at my job to do long sessions of work. Every call I get is a chance to help someone and I take that pretty seriously. The Royals and Sporting KC are doing amazing. Nemeth did awesome yesterday for SKC and everyone does awesome for the Royals. The Royals have the best defense ever.

Friday

Just waking up and checking out some newer taking back sunday. Sporting KC is going down tomorrow. I have no clothes down here at my sisters house. I had to text my dad to bring me some down. My work is going o.k. Not as good as I want it to go but that is the new way of working my doctors want me to work is to walk away when I get frustrated and not work through it. Not sure if you can keep jobs like that but oh well. Kris, Dad, and I are going to be watching sporting kc and the more I watch soccer, music, and baseball the easier life is.

Blake Griffon has gone from a guy that wants to dunk and be on commercials to a player that will do the dirty work to win.

Thursday

Wednesday I went back to work. It went well. We discussed how bad AT&T has been and we vowed to not be like that. After work I drove to my parents house. I hung out most of the day at the parents house and did a walk. I went to visit my sponsor Raymond. I was annoyed most of the day because I had just enough time to not be productive and not to do anything fun. Oh well. At-least I still moving forward.

Sporting KC

SgtMorris and I were able to go to the sporting kc game. It was hot but it was fun. Dom Dwyer had a million chances to put balls in the back of the net but he was unable to do so. The New White Kits were awesome. Everything in the future is crome.

There was an epic game 7 between the clippers and the spurs. The clippers pulled it out at the end and everyone was joyous.

Fishing and bowling

My dad and I had a shootout in bowling we both bowled 233. We also were able to go fishing. The weather was nice for fishing and there was a nice breeze. We didn't have any luck with the fishing. I have a date for Saturday. I am setting my expectations low so I won't be disappointed. I enjoyed a Rush DVD that I got from the Library. Getty Lee is a good bassist. I moved out of my apartment and staying with my parents. I have been going easy on myself and playing video games. I am excited to get some anxiety and depression lowered by spending money on doctors.

easter weekend

Easter weekend d I found out that service work is not like drinking. Drinking you feel better instantly. Service work and buying this for other people takes awhile you to feel better. I hung out with the family. I went to Starbucks. Sporting KC had an amazi bc win.

Push your shoulders back

I have noticed that I only breath like 75% of my lung compacity because I am always slouched. I started throwing my shoulders back and it has helped me breath and relieved lots of stress. I can't believe I only found this out now.

Work notes. At work they grade your calls. I have 2 months of perfect scores. I don't have much feeling about this, but I figured I would throw it on my blog to give myself the positive pat on the back that I deserve. I got pass it on points. Which means I can get a gift card. So that is cool. I had a leadership meeting as well. I had some good ideas and I went I always go into all meetings with an attitude of "WHAT CAN I PROVIDE THE COMPANY" not what can I get out. Always having an attitude of service and providing value is important to stay employed. I also was able to change some grumpy old peoples days by making them laugh. I strive to be a good people person and I strive always grow and grow. We have sales this month at work and I feel comfortable selling because I have been doing it for awhile now. I am grateful that I put in the work to work on the sales last year so now I can reap the benefit of not being stressed out that I don't know what I am doing. I also don't care what people think and I have a job to do. So that helps me stay calm and say the words to get the job done. I am proud of my dad he always grows and grows even though he doesn't blog or blab about it. It is rare to find a 60 year old man that can learn how to program computers and teach. Even in his retirement I hope he listens to tony robbins cd's for 8 hours a day.

I came home the other day and Had a heart to heart with Sarah to make sure she knows what she is getting into. She is young, but she has a vision for herself. I am proud of her and Jason. They are getting married soon.

Arizona and other random stuff

Arizona trip went successfully. My mom got lots of autographs and I saw lots of great ball players. I am grateful to see Pujols, Mike Trout, and the Royals play. We ate some good food and we went to the penske museam. Coming back was a pain in the butt I am grateful that my dad was able to pick us up. When I got back I got cleaned up and went to a get together that Karena put together. I am firmly in the friend-zone with her, but life is about giving and not recieving. I went to the get together to support her art. It went well I had laughs. I went to work the next day. It wasn't fun. I still really try to go the extra mile at work and treat everyone with respect. I also really try to cultivate people skills. Alittle bit of kindness or thoughtfulness can go along way.

Wednesday

Wednesday I woke up and I took some pictures. My mom and I drove to the Rockies Giants games. This is my second Giants game of the trip. It was pretty fun. I made lots of waffles this morning. I made people mad but it wasn't clear. I guess people wanted to make their own waffles. I did teach this young guy Luke how to make waffles. Weather here is perfect. Overall I give the trip an A so far. Pujols hit a homerun. We made it to a Royals game already. Got close to the players. The food has been surprisingly good. No pun intended. The girls here have been good looking but only one was nice to me.

Day 2

Today was alot more calm. We made it to a casino. I lost 50 dollars. My mom lost her money. We got out of there went to a game. We went to the Rangers vs. Angels game. It was beautiful out. Pujols hit a homerun. Right now just chillin in the room.

Monday

Monday was along day. Mom and I went to Arizona then drove around 8 hours because we spent too much time taking pictures of Alex Gordon to save our phones for a gps. The game was very hot and we got close to the players. Salvy, Hosmer, Gordon all signed baseballs. We went to Red Robin and went to sleep early. Then our smoke detector was out of batteries so it was beeping all night. This day is going to go better. LAA and Rangers play at 1 pm

thursday

Thursday. I have had lots of anxiety lately. I am alright I guess. It is just an emotion and it gets me to the gym to lift weights. It serves a purpose which is to get out of bed and lift weights. I am hopeful it will be better in the future. Lots of people deal with it as well. I am looking forward to this weekend with sporting kc playing and going to spring training. I have been listing to lots of Mos def, pepper, and Kendrick lamar. Today I did a good job cleaning my room when I couldn't sleep instead of not being productive. My room looks good and I know taking care of what I got is more important than getting new things. I have enjoyed lots of ps4 lately. It keeps me investing time in games. Karena isn't talking to m2. Idk what the deal is. It sucks because she makes me laugh. It is tough being single and drawing happiness from inside or Goss love, but it is a mature way to live. When I hit Homers on ps4 or I clean my jeep I feel good. I don't need outside things to keep me happy. Overall I have been working out and doing good work. So I am feeling decent.

If you lie down with dogs you will get fleas

You have to always raise your standards. Just like in MLB 2014. I was able to raise my standards and I went to 6 for 6.

The Weekend

This weekend I felt pretty good. Saturday was a challenge to stay at work my whole shift and help my customers. I know it is important to stay my whole shift and contribute to the success of my company. My company has lofty goals and I can be apart of making those happen if I stay focused and work hard.

Sunday I woke up and did my prayers. I asked God how I can be of service. God told me to go fishing. I met with my dad and we fished. We didn't catch anything but the important thing is we are working towards catching fish. It takes time and effort to catch THE BIG ONE. So as long as I am putting time and effort into fishing I know I will be on my way to catching a fish. It is about the journey and not the destination. So even though I know how AMAZING it will feel to catch a huge fish it is just enjoying the process to catch the huge fish that is fun and is what I can concentrate on.

Thursday

I went to work on Wednesday and March is off to a good start. I was in the green which means I am in line for a bonus. That was good. I met with Raymond on Thursday. I chuckled because I was talking about my wild goals and being a crazy person. He wants to take a look at my goals and make sure they aren't too self-centered. They area all self-centered. I have been beating myself up about my spending as of late. Which can be good if I actually take action on it. I am saving money for my trip to Arizona, but at the same time I keep buying crap I don't need or going out to lavish dinners at Tanners. It is all good though. As long as I try to be of service to people and think of others need I feel decent about myself.

take massive action

I woke up today and did pushups. I also did some shoulder presses. I vow to build muscle so my resting calories burned us more. I felt good this morning. I know going to sports games helps improve my mood. I almost ran over molly K on her bike on the way home from the game. Roger Espinoza from sporting kc player very well yesterday. I am excited to see what he can do. He was always known to kill people out on the pitch, but know he has a touch of class with that. I had a good time this weekend. I am glad that my work affords me the chance to enjoy soccer games in person. I am truly happy and blessed. I am listening to a bit of Dave Ramsey on mp3 and I am going to try to spend an hour on spanish tonight. I always try to have small goals to get my day rolling. Pushups and reading or listening to mp3s gets me going.

Hello and Happy Monday

This weekend went as well as it could. I went to the floozies on saturday with Ben and Sheree. I went to Sporting KC yesterday with my dad. No real issues. The weather really helped with my mood. This week is work and as always a chance to be better and a chance to make money. Manage my time well you get out what you put in. Go to Work!

Thursday

Wednesday we got results from Feb and it was not good. We as a team dropped out of bonus. There are a couple more days until it is final, but it was a bit of a bad shock to see that we may not get extra money. On the bright side I spent sometime working on my spanish and I spoke what little spanish I learned to people at work who speak spanish. They were impressed and I expressed to my boss and another boss that I am working on my spanish and I will get that spanish bonus eventually for being bilingual. So far it is good it is just work to try to work on the language. I know if I work at it I can get it down in 10 years or so. It takes constant improvement though.

10,000 hours on spanish and I can learn it! Today we are having our carpets cleaned at my apartment. I am happy to have constant and never ending improvement on our apartment.

Tuesday

This weekend was lots of work. This last month I got graded on 8 calls and I got a 100 percent on them all. That is an achievement. Even though I was down in the rankings my quality was up and I will still probably bonus unless something weird happens. March started off well. I spent most of my time working and speaking louder and more happy to be working. Even though I do well at work I ask my boss what I can improve and he said to act a bit happier. So I will do that. Today I watched Jim Rohn videos, went to the library, and made a couple videos.

I upped my 401k to 10 percent out of my paycheck. Taking action to save more money is important so I have something to look forward to.

Monday

Monday I was ranked about 100 in the company on monday. That still qualifies for bonus, but not very good by my standards. We will see how feb. stats shake out to see if I bonus or not. The more important thing is that I start march out right. Our company stresses you get good scores from customers. You are on time and that you sell. So I can do what I can do to prepare myself with good food good energy good vibes to feel good and keep grinding and hustling. Today Is Monday. Most people are crying to their mommies about how cold it is outside. The only thing that is cold is that cold hard cash in my hands baby! Onward and upwards. Grind Hustle OUT!

Thursday

Yesterday work went good. I was able to finish the day. I am around 80 which is bonus. If you are in the top 75% of the workforce and you hit all your numbers you get to have some extra money. I have been listening to lots of Mos Def lately. Brooklyn Hip Hop is in the house. One thing that has helped me at work is I lift small amounts of weights while at work. Burning calories. Staying lose helps me breath and not get mad at people are some of the benefits of doing this. People make fun of me but I don't care it helps me keep my butt in my chair and focus which helps me work more. More work equals more money. I would rather look stupid and hustle and make money than look cool and be broke.

gratitude list

I am grateful for the internet. I am grateful I have money to eat and give back. I am grateful for my sister and parents. I am grateful for my cell phone.

2/25

I started to have 10 percent taken out of my paycheck for my 401k. If it is in my bank account. I was able talk to Karin at the gym. I spoke loud and clear and I am meeting and networking with men and woman at various places. I made 3 videos today. I am ranked 8th at work which is still bonus but barely. I think K I will get a small bonus, but it is in Jesus hands. I played some video games today and watched Manchester United go up 3-on Lacieter. The big wins today was upping my controbution to my 401k and talk g to Karin. I have to set up the game so I can win each day and as long as I improving in the area's of networking and investing I will give myself a pat on the back. A girl named Tasha at work said I inspire her because I lift weights on my breaks. I have inspired lots of people with my message of grind and hustle and that makes me feel good. I love to show people that if you raise your standards everyday you can have an awesome life. You have to take massive action though.

Large Gratitude List

Monday. I am grateful I have a job that is close to the apartment. I am glad I got a raise and a bonus last month. I am grateful my job allows me to send e-mails out to spread some positive vibes. I am grateful my mom and dad keep going out and grinding day in and day out to get better. I am grateful for my roomate Jason. We made it through a year and he has grown up so much. The sky is the limit for him. I am grateful for football and lifting weights. Both of those helped me not be such a sissy all of the time.

Annece

I have been complaining to myself about how many girls I talk to but I never see them again. Annece and Pressly were both at the gym. Girls around me help me work out more. Thank God that I put in the work to talk to people. Now I have workout buddies. Thank God my back hurt today as well. It helped me to get moving and get to the gym. My I button doesn't work on my laptop anymore. My dad is going to have to buy me a tough book now. Today is work and then probably playing video games.

gratitude lst.

grateful for my parents
grateful for my health
grateful for computers
grateful for nascar
grateful for my job and my jeep
grateful for anthony robbons tapes.

hanging out at black dog.

Hanging out at black dog. I probably should work out a bit today. I have a RPM idea to get in shame..the results is to lose weight and get in shape. The purpose is to be a better more attractive person. and then the M stands for Massive action. I try to take action and work out and lift whenever I can. I am at black dog. I feel pretty good. I actually introduced myself to people. It is important for me to always get out of my shell. I met a person named becky and a person named Rachael.

Friday and the weekend

The weekend started well. I worked all day on Friday. It was a good day at work. I went to Lawrence in terrible weather to watch the reggae band John Wayne and the Pain. It was good. A beatbox artist Heat Box was really good. Saturday I woke up did some working out then just chilled all day. I watched the KU game. I tried to stir up some friends. Nothing was going on so I just texted Karena most the night and played NBA 2k15. Sunday I woke and went for a walk. I went to St. Joseph. I about ran out of gas. I didn't and then I ate some bananas and now my dad is cooking chicken for me.

Stuff that makes me feel good

I noticed it wasn't the bonus so much that made me feel better. It was the fact I have found ways to help more people every day and stream line the process while feeling good for myself. I know that nurses always have to treat people well even though the people they help are always bleeding and kicking and punching them. I try to take that attitude to work. I know that people are going to be disrespectful to me and things aren't going to go my way, but if I hustle, grind, and try to be cool to people I will be successful. Jason is doing good. Always be raising your standards. I took a video of my bonus and I took time to really appreciate what goes into getting a bonus at work. You can't miss any work, you have to be awesome with your stats, and you can't use the restroom exept on your breaks. I took time to really look at how much work goes into getting a bonus and how lucky you have to be. You can't have your car break down or miss work. I am grateful for a car that works, health, not going to the bathroom. I am grateful for all that stuff.

Blog Update

It has been a busy week. I have made a video blog almost everyday. I got a dollar raise. I also got a bonus. It is a tribute to my hustle and grind. I met with Raymond yesterday. He is doing well. He moved his sisters stuff down in new mexico. I am proud of him for always getting better. Nascar is this weekend. Also I am moving forward in planning on concerts to go to. I have been committed to helping people at work. I have found stretches and music that help me work longer hours even when people aren't doing well to treat me well. I have sent out e-mails each day with little updates on things that I have learned from listening to Tony Robbins tapes. That is about it.

Sunday

Sunday is here and I am hanging out at black dog. I woke up at 5 am today and just screwed around and went to the gym. I put my instagram videos on chiefs planet. I am waiting for my refund check so I can pay my dad for my plane ticket to spring training. As of today it is 43 days until spring training. I watched some videos on being bored and I have some new ways I think to stimulate my brain when I am bored. More productive that going to the casino or driving my jeep off road or something stupid. I bought a white board and I am studying Anthony Robbins get the edge cd's. It describes in detail how you get yourself to motivated to change. I really try to get sick of myself being chubby as a way to take massive action. I am enjoying life the best I can. I am glad I have internet and black dog so I find ways to challenge myself. I am sitting by my friend ashton right now. She seems like a nice lady.

I had growth this week by not taking Jason getting on me about the goo on the fridge. I try never to take anything personally and always use it to take my relationship to the next level. I was proud that I was able to not take it too personal and we enjoyed some KU time together. He is getting married and I am proud of him. Maybe more positive enforcement from me would be good for me to give him. I haven't talked to Bryce that much as late. I know he is hustling with the kids and such eventually we will hang some more that is unless he starts to reproduce more.

Ray at work cracks me up. Ray and Elex keep things interesting. I found different ways to stretch and lift and change my voice at work to keep things interesting.

Creating videos. Charting progress and enjoying everyday having small break throughs give me the most joy I think in life. My fifa team had to forfiet some games because we didn't have a full team. So annoying since I programmed my computer to fill out the team sheet for me.


My goals are still the same 100,000 dollars. I am going to get there by being a public speaker, motivator speaker, or personal coach of some sort. I want to expand my knowledge and get lean in the gym. I know with constant constant action anything is possible. You also have to have energy. You have to have energy to work long hours that is for sure.

Saturday and Sunday

Sunday I woke up and did some lifting of the weights. Saturday I worked. It was Valentines Day. I ate food and played fifa 2015

Friday

Friday I worked. I did this weird thing with my arm that gave me enough to do that I didn't get twitchy during work. I made instagram movies this morning and I continued making videos for chiefsplanet.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HcLWcC5KDd8&feature=youtu.be

Thursday

Thursday I went bowling. I video taped it. I looked a bit dumpy. I walked for 4 miles today. I ate some goodcents. I will get into better shape by summer. I have to give myself credit. I look at my videos and I take action to change the way I look and I feel. I made a couple videos today. two for chiefsplanet. One video of me bowling and one for instagram outside. I made sure I took in account how I was able to push through and get 4 miles of walking in. I just imagined girls attracted to me, and I imagined how good I will feel meeting my goals.


I met a girl at hy-vee who was on crutches. She had a boyfriend, but it was good networking because she managed a salon. I was able to get all her information and I think made her laugh.

I met with Raymond today. It is tax season for him and he explains in detail how fear can ruin his day, he knows he does his part and the rest will work out. He gets better everyday and I strive to be like him, my dad, and some other random dudes.

Wednesday

I played video games today. I worked on my serve in tennis. It was very cold. I went to work and it was o.k. I came home and the apartment was goo free for the second day in a row. My mom won money awesome. I should get my money back from the state and federal government decently soon. I watch Manchester United. I made a video for chiefs planet. I also made a video for instagram. Instagram and youtube has entertained me. I always wanted to make T.V. shows even if it was just for me. I read lots of things on sober recovery. I post more there to give back what I know. I don't know too much but I know I can at-least tell people how to be sober 4 years.

Wednesday

Yesterday Jason told me that I left goo on the top of the fridge and I almost broke his vacuum. I didn't take it personally and I told him I appreciated the coaching. I am lucky to have him since he dresses well and doesn't leave goo on the top of the fridge. This week has been o.k. I was able to bully myself into cleaning my car and going to an AA meeting yesterday. I am still trying to make money and raise my standards each day. I worked on my tennis game a bit yesterday and a bit today. I will get better so when the weather is nice out I am not embarrassing.

Tuesday

I am 80th in my company this month so far. That is kind of poopy but there is lots of time to go. That is also still in the bonus. I went to work today and I found out I had a half of day scheduled. I came home and bullied myself into cleaning my car, cleaning and washing my sheets, making chicken, and asking a girl out at aldi's. I also practiced my service in tennis. Overall grade for today was a B. Yesterday I got my taxes done. Go me.

Saturday

Saturday night I went down to Karena's studio. She tooked pictures of me. I felt good being apart of the art scene for once. It was nice to be creative. That is where the juices and my passion really come out. I felt good today. I was pissed that I looked fat in my pictures and that I have man boobs. I know being skinnier is a process. I have to use my mind to tell a good story, I have to use my body to feel good, I have to make my mind focus on a vision and I have to tell a story over and over to keep myself happy.

The Weekend

This last week was pretty sad. I did good at work. Last time I checked I actually rose to 13th for the month of January. It has just been a bummer of late trying to get people to hang out and to laugh. Everything seems to be going towards the depressing side. On the good side it is a good chance for me to really act and smile and be as enthusastic as possible. My job is truly a gift from God. I had a meeting for team captains and I have been accepted to the CEP program which is just the fancy way of saying a leadership program. So I keep going forward. I still have the goal of making 100,000 although I haven't wanted to work lately so that is putting a damper on that goal. I know if I stick close to God and help others my needs will be filled. Just not my wants. I really listen to Tony Robbins and that helps me either take action when my emotions are crap or change the way I look at things. Like I was saying this week was tough but I can look at it as a challenge and a new way of using my body and mind to be positive. On Friday especially I reached out and I was like man I need help being positive and moving forward. I acted from that moment on and I survived the day. On Thursday I met up with Raymond and he is doing well. He has his raquet ball equipment and he said he is going to start playing raquetball haha. Hope he doesn't get hurt. My parents are on a cruise and boy have they earned some r and r. Hope they are having fun right now!

1 year anniverery

Today marks the one years that I have worked at my new job. I strive to make more money and learn more. I didn't miss any work this year which is good. I try to prepare for the stuff that may go wrong. I have been feeling a bit down. I try to reach out and keep moving forward though. I worked out when I didn't want to today. I took myself to the buffet at argosy. I lost about 40 bucks but I had fun. I am glad I am sober today. 4 years ago on January I took 4 days off from work and drank all day the last two times. I remember the last day just being so sick and tired. My down days this time don't involve drinking, they just involve donuts and driving around waiting for the day to be over. I asked this girl out a couple days back Anna. She said she had a boyfriend. I was a bit mad, but I am grateful I have the guts to ask girls out.

Superbowl Sunday

Today I woke up in an bad mood. I have a cold and I am sore. I drove around a bit. I made a couple instagram videos. I tried to listen to Tony Robbins tape. I picked up a new tony robbins tape that I am trying to brain wash myself with. It is about being clear with a vision for yourself and taking actions towards those. I want a billion dollars more ladies in my life and to give back more. Pretty simple.

I was the #1 person on my team this month and I was #30 overall in the company. I will take pride and satisfaction with the results and the fruits of my hard work. I don't really feel anything towards that. I do feel good that I asked my buddy travis...who is a guru of social media how do I make instigram videos. From there I have had lots of fun making videos about work, working out, and motivation. I am grateful to live in a time where you don't need to be famous to make videos and get them out to people. My parents are going on vacation. Hope they have a great time. I am blessed to be sober, blessed with a good family, blessed with jason and sarah.

I found a decent way to talk to woman at the gym. I asked what their routine is and then chop it up from there. I am blessed and grateful I have the guts to talk to anyone not only pretty woman. I am blessed that I cultivated my self-confidence to the point that I am not afraid of what people think and I can use this skill to help others get over their fears.

Thursday

Today was a decent day. I had a cold. It mellowed me out a bit. I walked 2 miles. I went to visit Raymond. I went to the mall. I had an instant date at black dog. I played as much video games as possible. I watched Tony Robbins videos. I cleaned my room. Jason got me deer sausage from his brother. I met two girls one named shelby and the other named hannah. I met a black girl that is named Michelle and she is from africa and she is going to become a doctor. I met lots of interesting people. Hannah was a person I talked to most I learned how to say awkward in Sign Language.

Thursday

Wednesday I set up my presentation for sales for the team. The worst part was waiting around to get started. I got started it went o.k. I learned I need to be a bit more positive and not say things like "this will get you in trouble" Instead say "This will lead you to success" The rest of the day went good. We had a potluck and instead of eating until I made myself sick I managed my food so I didn't make myself sick. That was a small victory for me. I sometimes eat to try to make myself feel better. Work doesn't feel great most of the time. Overeating doesn't solve that problem.

Monday

Monday was good. I was asked to do a sales presentation for Wednesday. I worked all day. I worked out in the morning. Came home and watched some T.V. with Jason. Perfect day perfect energy.

This week

This week was productive. I felt a bit better about myself this week than I have. My jeans fit better and I have been able to get to the gym and work as hard as I can. I was able to stop myself from eating trash sometimes because I tell myself "I don't want to live like this, I am tired of my clothes not fitting" So I had some energy. On Friday my vacation mess up at work was nagging me very much so. When things nag at my brain I know how to handle it. I have to say. God I will do my job and you do yours, it is in your hands. So I will leave it up to God to settle what the heck is going on with my vacation time. I turned my attention on whom I can help in AA. I went out to eat with Matt The Engineer on Friday. It was good. He bought me a meal for helping him move. It was delicious. Saturday I just had it in my mind that I keep on doing things for other people I will start to move toward peace. Like I said my work was really on my nerves. Everytime work got on my nerves I just told myself "God I give this to you, I can't handle it right now" I knew everything was going to work out because I have faith that you do things for other people and it is all good. I played pinball on saturday and hung out. I decided to go out to eat at The Foundry. Karena was going out with Salon friends and so I didn't think I was going to hang out with her, she ended up strolling into the foundry were I was eating and sat down. Normally I don't think of prayers of working this way, but I was praying and doing an affirmation "Everyone who you love and who loves you is making their way into your life" Now I am firmly in the friend zone with Karena and I am o.k. with that and I was just glad to have someone to make me laugh and take some of the nagging feelings off me. I had tacos at the foundry they were healthy but not that good. They use fresh stuff and glutton free and not lard that Mi Rancheto uses. So it was o.k. Karena and her salon friends sat around and had a good time and I had a long night of laughing and just enjoying myself. Sunday I signed up to work 3 hours and I woke up feeling loved and not alone which is nice. This start of the year I have just been trying to make myself better in hopes of attracting better people and a better life. It was nice to have fun people around me. I worked today then played pinball and watched T.V. with Jason. I have long week tomorrow. I hope my vacation situation gets fixed. Also I have to sell stuff again at work which I am sure will be ok. I got put in a leadership class and I was able to make that class on Friday. Everything works out if I try to contribute and not try to take take take from everything. I had a good day today like I said. My jeans fit better, I had energy to work out and go to work, and I had energy to write this blog. I am glad that I am sober and I am able to grow as a person. I am glad for friends that come along at the right time. I am glad I have Bryce texting me. I don't get to really hang out with him, but I do hang out with other friends which is nice. I am grateful for my life and my health. I am grateful for my parents for always growing and being in a decent mood. I am grateful for my sister, toilets, water, diet coke, coffee, black dog. That is about it.

Friday

Friday was annoying. I have the time off to go to spring training but my schedule said I have -76 hours of PTO. So hopefully that doesn't screw up my vacation. I have faith it will work out. I just need to do the right thing and keep moving forward.

Thursday

Thursday I went to the gym. I also went to the hot tub. Good on me for keeping up good rituals and habits. I introduced myself to a cute girl named Ashley she was very nice. She tried to sell me on some Jesus type of stuff which was cool because when was nice to me. I was supposed to go out with Karena, but she got sick. I met with Raymond and I feel everyone we meet I am more at peace. I have a leadership program tomorrow to attend. Good on me for working hard

Pizza West

I went to pizza west today. It had 4 pinball machines. It was awesome. I also worked out and worked and hung out with Jason.

The night

I had a half day. I hung out with Jason. We had a couple laughs as a Model named Bethany gave me a kiss on the cheek. He gave me another polo. Man I have so much to be thankful for. I went to an AA meeting. No matter how much money I spend on polo's and food, I don't have a dui and I don't have an assault on my record. You can't get anything done with saving money paying for DUI's or assault charges. The day ended with a comedy open mic. I didn't get there in time to do a set, but I watched. People were good, not really funny, but spoke well and had punch lines.

Totally weird night

I don't remember if I put this down but a woman named Bethany gave me a random kiss in the cheek. That was random. Today I worked very hard and I played pinball Jason gave me tons of shirts. That was nice because I work at praying for abundance. I am ranked #1 on my team and 27th overall at work. I told my boss I want him or another manager to sit with me how to get better at my job. I want to be the #1 worker and I am willing to humble myself to do so. It was nice and I got some inside feedback. I also got to be comfortable getting feedback.

Sunday

Sunday I woke up and felt awful. That is what happens I guess. I know getting my body ready for success is a process. I head to the gym and get myself pumped for an awesome workout and hot tub. I got that done. My friend Kristen wanted to go to black dog. We had a jam session of laughs. I wrote 3 jokes out of the session. I drove to St. Joseph and walked on the treadmill and hung out with my dad and watched football. It was fun. I went out and played pinball. I met 5 people. This really helped my people and communication skills. I also kept up the skill of courage. I was proud of myself driving back to KC I was feeling down but I screamed at myself to lighten up and I felt good enough to play pinball and meet people. Stacking success is important.

Prayer or thought for the day

Gods wealth rains down with me an avalanche of abondance.
all my needs and goals will be met because he has awesome wisdom!
He is everything and I am one with my creator.

I did this simple prayer and jason gave me new shoes. Man God does give me more than enough wealth to go around.

Friday I walked 2-miles. I met a girl at Black Dog named Alexis. I went to work. I moved up to 33 in the ranking board at work. Anything above 50 percent is good. I strive to be the best but anything above average is good. I had a decent day. I treated everyone with respect. I was really tired after work and I just came home and kicked it. The victory's yesterday is I was able to walk 2-miles. I celebrated the fact that I worked out my legs enough to keep that success going! I also really listened and model the way I talk and think after Tony Robbins and Raymond and sometimes my dad and sometimes Cheryl.

Victory Yesterday

Victory yesterday was actually having cool girls hanging out with me. Victory is hanging out with Jason and chopping it up about selling. A victory was me putting the time and effort in working out and having my jeans a bit less snug. I should be able to wake up and not be so hungover now because I may have found a formula to waking up and feeling crappy. Go for a walk and go in the hot tub at the gym.

progress

Yesterday I feel bad because of lack of progress. I want to see more peace in my life. I reflected how calm I am now when I think about traveling. I used to be terrified about traveling. I couldn't stand the thought of being out of my comfort zone. I am more comfortable today with the thought of traveling. That is progress. I get frustrated no one texts or calls me to hang out. Freedom and success is about doing what you want when you want with whom. I had some progress with n hanging with Lesil and Karena. Two beautiful ladies who embody the best of what life to offer. Very funny, talented, imaginative. Clear vision for things. I listen to as much Tony Robbins as I can and lots of his things have him creating a vision I have a vision of making money then investing that money to grow more money. Teaching and meeting cool people. I have a chance to do so because I take massive action filling my days with thoughts and actions. I want to learn a new language and also learn so fear design. I have a vision list that I want to really focus on. I woke up today. Felt horrible again. Went to he gym and walked and sat in the hot tub.

Thursday

Thursday I met with Raymond. He is doing well. I went out with Lesiel and saw Karena out. It was a good day to hang out with ladies I guess. The end.

Wednesday

Wednesday I woke up in a bad mood. I haven't slept well my ribs still hurt and my elbow is on fire still from falling on ice. I gathered myself in at-least to just accept the way I was feeling and roll with the punches. Some people can work from the mindset of being pissed or they can change their state of mind with booze and weed. I can't do that so I just kind of roll with the punches. The Victory I had was that I went to work. I got a good e-mail from my boss. I got an earlier shift so I can watch the Royals. I was good to people. My gift the the world is I resolve to be loving and patient with people in all situations. I must do that if I want to have a good life. Work went well. On tuesday I really did well, Wednesday I did well to be nice. The Victory was just not letting my spirit be broken with a bad mood.

I got fired from my team in fifa. I am getting some players from skc to move them over. I have made some videos as well of me playing. I enjoy my ps4

Tuesday

Tuesday my victory was that I had a very long and hard workload and I was able to work through it very calmly. I know for me to make a billion zillion dollars I have to never get upset. I have to have ice water through my veins and be able to put in long hours of steady work. I want to make sure I give myself credit that I worked hard and I gave value through my patience and my work ethic.

I worked out in the morning. No changes in my workout just did my work and got out. It was enjoyable.

I talked to a lady named Emily while playing pinball. Good on me for starting conversations with strangers. We talked about anxiety. It was a very deep conversation. I am quite proud of my people skills and the fact that I have real life issues that I can talk about in a smart manor.

I am going to spring training this year with help from my dad. I love fun, sun, and baseball. Not in that order.

Well thought out idea

Success can looks awkward. I was able to form a thought and share it on facebook. I felt very high when I was in that state of mind. It actually uncomfortable when I go to a higher plane of thought. It is hard to describe. I took time out to acknowledge the feeling I got from forming a thought and executing the process of communicating the thought. Then I moved on with my day. Oprah, Marshall Mathers, Tiger woods, all were awkward and did things that no one thought would work.

Monday

Monday I had inspiration. The supervisors sit with the workers sometimes to help coach them. I decided I was going to be pro-active to ask Aaron and Bill to sit with me. I have nothing to lose and all to gain. I can get better. I can show I am a leader and that I am not scared to go through a small annoyance to get better. I would rather trade a small chunk of time with a person sit with me for a chance to look like a leader, I get to handle working closer to Bill and Aaron which is good to help connect. It will help me focus on getting better and taking care of the customers. I can bet I am not going to get salty with a customer while bosses are sitting with me. It will make me a better worker and that skill of asking for help will make me billions of dollars over time. I know if I can put aside my emotions to get better and do what good workers do I will make billions of dollars because I will just do that with awesome people like the successful guy that made KFC. He was 64 when he made his business.

I was able to go to sleep, wake up, get my jeep fixed. Now I am rich...the end.

Monday

I drove a couple hour from St. Joseph to Belton. I got my window fixed. That was the big win of the day. Smaller wins. I didn't get upset at a couple people who were being annoying and rude. Ice Water through your veins. I went and visited Jenni yesterday at the first ward. Now she asked me for some inspiration today. I was able to provide that because I know how to roll with the punches and have emotion create emotion and get through long work days. I walked and I had a great soundtrack to get my mind in a mindset and an attitude of how to get better. I told people at work to start a work blog with their good deeds on it and don't be shy. Everything that was hard write it down. Celebrate it. Create a vision in your head who you want to be whom you want to meet. Dr. Dre...50 cent. Eminem...etc. It was a long day and I made it through work. I am annoyed and tired right now.

Victory Monday

A victory me on Monday started on Sunday. I went to bed halfway early. Woke up drove down and got my window taken care of. I used to suck taking care of personal business. I am still not great at it. I want to celebrate the small or big victories anyway I can. I went for a walk today. I listened to trance music by Paul Van Dyk. This got me into a trance state that relaxes my mind. When athletes talk about this it really takes my mind into a zone that makes it easier to work. So that was a victory. I went and visited Jenni yesterday at first ward then she sent me a message today wanting more inspiration. I am glad I got out of bed and visited her. Small thing mean big to people.

The Best things I did this weekend.

Hanging out with my family was awesome. Getting my jeep indoors where it is safe was a good move as well. Working out on the treadmill was good as well. Saving money to spend it on Royals gear was good as well. I really want to work towards making 100k a year, more sporting kc gear and tickets, new Royals gear or tickets, more ku gear or tickets, give back more, talk to bryce more. Talk to people about the mindset of success more. Eat more 54th street.

Getting on the treadmill was probably the most powerful thing I did this weekend. While other people were enjoying their weekend getting worse at life I have laser like focus on my dreams of getting into shape. Making more money and cultivating my social skills.

I was glad I am sober as well. I will never take for granted that people wake up in the hospital and in jail all the time because of drugs and alcohol. If you are drunk or high you can't chase your dream.

The Weekend

This weekend was filled with time on the treadmill and some time with my parents. I deeply love my parents and they are healthy. My dad and I enjoyed some good times watching football. Especially Peyton Manning losing! I went to Starbucks and I established that is a better place to hang out than the casino in St. Joseph, not as good as the AA hall though. I took lots of pictures and made lots of videos for myself. I want to make as much money as anyone all time. LOL lofty goal I know. Life has become a bit more fun when I wake up and focus on making money. Even if I don't make money on days at-least I can imagine making money. I imagine what it would feel like to give the money away to help people. I wrote some in my many journals. My parents dog was terrible this weekend...always barking always bothering me. He is family..and we don't beat family.

401k

I finally got some money out of my paycheck and matched by my company for my 401k. I will celebrate small victories.

creating your own passion.

Most days I do the same tasks everyday. You have to really love making money just for the heck of it and making your own passion to keep going. I made a bunch of videos and a bunch of facebook posts this week. Hopefully they help people. I know they help me pass the time.

Saturday

Friday was o.k. I went to black dog after work. It was awesome.

complete weirdness

Weird week. Get some bonus money. Fall and hurt myself. I lose my new phone, find the new phone in the random spot in my jeep. My drivers side window was busted out. Yesterday I was going to go out but Karena slept because that is what she does. I went out to eat and met up with Jackie and Sunni. I am not sure if there is an I or not in Sunni. Anyway that was cool. We played music bingo and I knew most of the pop songs. I also met a woman named Kim from kentucky that talked about guzzling mountain dew. So I wasn't upset about the whole day because I know life is "Just a daring adventure" or nothing at all /Helen Keller. The you go. I just ended a blog with a hellen keller quote. Sometimes when you are out you have to lie to yourself or at work you have to lie to your self. When I am selling I am constantly saying "You have nothing to lose. You come into this world naked and leave with a suit on if you are lucky. Everything between there is just memories and providing emotions to others. I think it is funny as well there is a saying when you are single "The universe is just preparing a soulmate for me and I need to patiently wait" I have found if I treat people like "this one could be my soulmate. It is a bunch of b.s. but it is a frame of mind that gets me talking.

I woke up today

Bought some food that is actually good for me. AWESOME JOB RAY FOR TAKING MASSIVE POSITIVE ACTIONS INSTEAD OF JUST EATING SLUDGE. Talked over my vblog yesterday with my friend Phil. I am going to do shorter vlogs.

Up and down day

Yesterday started awesome. I got my bonus for hard work in december. 200 dollars. I went and bought a new phone with that money. A new phone needed to be done. I couldn't run the programs jason and adam run because my phone is so old I am pretty sure I saw jesus flipping it out at the last supper. So yay...Went to ATT and then to Best Buy Then back to ATT. I won't get into the dumbassery that happened at Best Buy. Got the phone started playing with it. It was good. I went to work. I worked with my friend Glenn on having more peace. I had a peaceful day. God is truly a river that if he runs through you he washes away the annoyances of life. I had a good night until 9 and I got cranky. I have made it a point of going out everyday to make new connections to improve chances on a new BAE or just learn more. I met Harly and Abby the fitness instructor yesterday. Success! Always going out and improving social skills or courage to talk to people is important. Walking back to the jeep i slipped on nice and fell on my left shoulder and elbow. It felt like someone took a shotgun and put it point blank on my elbow and pulled the trigger. After dry heaving for awhile I went to the car and took some PM medicine and struggled through the night with the pain. I was thankful i didn't bust my head or my tailbone those hurt worse. Today the arm feels a bit better and I knew after I fell as long as I could move my fingers and squeeze I was probably good to go. IRONY IS I WAS WEARING NON SLIP Sketchers. My new phone didn't get broke either. SUCCESS! I went to work out today in a sling. It was tough but went o.k. I am typing good now so I should be alright for work. 100,000 dollars in one year!

Monday

Monday I woke up and called Raymond. I have anxiety, but it helps when I call him. I went to broadway cafe. I talked to some people and made them laugh. I know how I need to keep my guts to talk to people up. I came home and I made a video for facebook. It wasn't liked by anyone. That is fine. The videos are for me. I went to work. Glenn called me. Glenn is a good man and we have been talking trying to get our issues worked out. I am trying to get people to talk more about their issues so we can have solutions not problems. I got an E-mail from Andrea. She is still sober and is still doing good. I am so grateful I don't have to deal with her on a daily basis anymore. I do wish her rest of her days to be spent getting help and getting thought patterns that free her up to be a decent person. Karena and I still talk I know from listening to the art of charm podcast that woman are attracted to people who don't freely give them love. I am texting her but not over doing it. I know we are just friends, but just in case we aren't I am going by standard romantic protocol and being purposely aloof. I listened to Tony Robbins a-lot today. He helps me get passion about my day. He has a way to stir emotions in me that make me want to get out of bed and do things. There was along time I just didn't do anything but work. Now I wake up and start texting and calling people in AA so we can talk about issues and action to the issues. It has lead to a better life for me. I am grateful for mom and my dad for being together. I just read that even a bad marriage the kids turn out better than a divorce.

Sunday

I had to work today. Sometimes success can be a bummer. I love that it is a bummer. I know other people quit when things are hard. I woke up today and went to a coffee shop on broadway. I made it a point to get out of the house more. I called my friend Glenn. Glenn has been a gift from God. He listens to me go on and on about random things. Tomorrow I am going to make a video about digging the well before you need the water.

The Weekend

I woke up yesterday and decided to take massive action and sot in an AA meeting all day. I met a cute girl named Traci. I always have guts to talk to people because of my background in comedy.

Friday

Friday was weird. I saw my friend Kristen out when I was talking to ladies. I was able to chat it up. I am just starting to go out again and starting to try to get some good networking in.

I got a text from my friend Matt the engineer. I am really sad the way AA works sometimes. People get to hang out and not work the 12 steps and they end up dying of alcohol. I started calling people and sharing what I know and it seems that people respect it.

On new years day I had my glasses, wallet, keys, and cell phone in one place. I respect and appreciate being sober.

I got to buy my parents breakfast. I love them so much but often I feel just down and I am not able to do cool stuff. I was able to buy them breakfast and for that I am grateful.

I got accepted to the CEP program at work. That was cool. I worked myself to death trying to be the best person I could at work.

I have been working out more. I got fat when I was with Andrea. I don't regret that though. I think God wanted me to put all my energy and sacrifice my waistline to do whatever I could for her. I hope she is sober and growing.


Working out has been good. I am getting better at fifa. I have been watching more inspiring Youtube videos.