Wednesday

Work was good. I thought about Byrdman's bebe lots. I walked a mile at 24-hour fitness after work.

Paid Rent for May

We were able to pay rent for May. This was nice and a miracle. Jason and I truly have some ninja skills to gather the money to stay in our apartment for 4 months.

Tuesday

Tuesday Matt, Sarah, Jason and I played tennis. It was a bunch of laughs. I still had lots of tightness in my chest and that general "Inpending Doom" feeling. I am going to the doctor tomorrow to see what is up. Andrea came over and we watched the Royals win. I woke up on Wednesday and went to an AA meeting. I talked about the process of having a pretty set schedule with meetings and how I am not going to smoke weed or drink booze to deal with my anxiety. I have work today and I was able to eat chicken today. As far as my mental day off yesterday I did get to laugh, play sports, and do the things that make me happy, even if it didn't work so well.

2 mile walk

Went for a two mile walk. It is awful out. So for my mental health day I went for a walk, AA meeting, scheduled doctors appointment.

Dr. Appointment

I went to the noon AA meeting then I scheduled an appointment at the Doctor on Thursday for 2:30 pm.

Tuesday

Yesterday I gave myself lots of time to watch beach videos and pray. I have had high anxiety even though everything is going well. I woke up today in fear again and I decided that it isn't getting better. I called down to Johnson County Mental health and they said because I wasn't in the hospital, on drugs/alcohol/meds that they recommended somewhere else to go. I was very upset and I called Raymond to see what he recommends, he said that he will get someone for me to go to for the issues. I have a bundle of fears. How am I going to pay for the treatment, will I be on heavy meds, how will I pay for the treatment. I am just going to do what I am told and trust that it will be O.K. On the bright side just having a plan and accepting whatever it is I am going to have to do I felt some relief. I was glad that I was able to lose some weight and get off the carbs before this happened. In the long run I know I will be able to work more and not let fear and anxiety make me take days off or make me just shut down. I am doing better now I just have to complete the work. I texted Byrdman as well, he is going to be a father, so while I was upset I did have a nice feeling for him. He has handled himself well and there is a reason why people love him so much. He is a cool guy to everyone and easy going.

Monday

I was able to go for a walk today. I watched some meditation videos for 15 minutes. I am going to work on my peace and serenity more tomorrow. Today I was more at ease because I worked more an praying and meditating. I have off tomorrow and I am going to take it easy and try to enjoy myself. I want to make sure I get out somewhere and get away from my cell phone and try to get my mind to heal somewhat. I will also be at AA meetings.

Monday

Monday I went to an AA meeting. I prayed. Saw Johnathon and his new car. Jason is dressed up going somewhere. I listened to one John Wayne and the Pain song. I also learned to only listen to the people that provide me spiritual food in AA and tune the rest out. Now I am going to lay down..

Good prayers to do are

"GOD DIRECT MY THINKING"
"GOD HAVE ME FEEL THE WAY YOU WANT ME TO FEEL"
"GOD PLEASE MOLD ME INTO A NON-JERK PERSON"

Johnathon

My friend Johnathon got a new Lexas. what a jump from his station wagon!

Monday

Monday I woke up and starting prayer and really tried to focus on my peace. I knew that I would be on a long hold and bounced around to try to cancel my marketplace insurance. I was able to get it done but for a this month I am going to have to pay two premiums for my health insurance. I really strive to be a calm and cool guy that can handle this stuff without freaking out on the inside. I prepared with Prayer and some sort of meditation. I feel ok right now but I will just have to deal with unexpected money come out. I learned a lesson I guess in the sitation. I should have called early to cancel my plan. My first plan was just not to pay it and let it lapse. That was not smart. Live and learn.

Sunday

Sunday I got to watch the Royals win at my apartment with Andrea, Jason, and Sarah. It was a good time. I also ate Zarda. My jeep got hailed on but it didn't look like there was any damage. Work was very long and my serenity was tested.

Manchester United

Manchester United (Not Manchester city) fired their manager like 5 months into the season. This after a 30 year term by the previous manager. I want to make sure I enjoy the game today.

Gas Bill

I just paid the gas bill which should be the highest one for a while it was 86.36 cents.

Health Insurance

Is there anything more in my life that drives my fear other than Health Insurance? I am obsessed with getting coverage, over paying for cobra, getting insurance when I have a temp job. Bla Bla Bla. Anyway the latest in my effort to drive myself crazy over health insurance involves Coventry. I got a plan at work and I am trying to cancel Coventry. Of course they are closed today. I will set a plan on calling them Monday to cancel and see if I am still supposed to pay the bill they sent me. I don't know if I am supposed to pay but I am making a choice not to stress about it. If I have to pay I am cool with it if I have not pay for it I will be cool with it. If I really take a look about the kind of person I want to be I don't want to be a person who obsesses over health insurance and worry's himself sick over things like this. I keep on working towards a guy who is calm and makes good choices on what to do and then spends my energy enjoying life. Not stressing over this I can't chance.

I woke up on Saturday and I went to 24-hour fitness I worked shoulders and I walked. It was very nice.

Friday

Friday night was good. I did more praying than I do most days. I did lots of the serenity prayer.

Why are Navy Blue and Black so at odds with each other. They are so similar?

Why are Navy Blue and Black so at odds with each other. They are so similar?


Me: Hey Navy blue how are you?
Black: What did you just call me?
me: Navy blue...I am so sorry are you black?
Black: I didn't spend time gathering the heat from the sun more than other colors just to be called
Navy Blue

My mom and other random friday stuff

Friday is good. I went to an AA meeting this morning. I am really working on getting anxiety out of my system through AA and you tube videos. I spent quality time meditating and praying today and I felt good. I enjoyed the green grass. Yesterday I went to Andrea's house and I was fussy on the inside. We went to a couple places to listen to live music and ended up at BB's lawnside and BBQ it was fun and Andrea danced with some people which was funny.
My mom got recognition for being a longtime teacher yesterday from Martin Rucker. I am proud of the work ethic and the ability to keep teaching through good days and bad.

I work Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday...which is a bummer but it is better than NOT working.

back and bicepts today.

Reformated computer

My desktop angered me yesterday. I reset it to factory settings today. It was pretty easy to get it back up and running. I met with Raymond today. It is also raining. Good story huh.

Thursday

I woke up at 5 AM today with my legs on fire. I didn't even walk much yesterday, my legs were on fire. I went for a drive and took some Advil. This kind of start to my day off really frustrates and annoys me. Now I am just chilling drinking coffee and listening to Bob Marley.

Wednesday

Today I woke up. I was a bit nervous. I keep telling myself I have to loosen up or I will have to go on medication. I went to an AA meeting. It was good. I tell you what...some people just love to rain on your parade. I found a kids electronic drum set on sale at K-Mart. It is a complete pile of trash. I am mad I bought this but I am going to force myself to play with it for a couple hours to get some use out of it. I threw out some food in the fridge. Now I am resting before I go to work.

Yesterday after work, Andrea had a flat tire. I went to save the day but there were a couple other dudes that changed the tire faster than I did. After that Andrea talked about the changes she needed to make to her house. I was like...that is cool bro...I will hang out in my bed in my apartment and not have to do any work and just blog all day.

Penguins won their game so they are up in the series 2-1 against the blue jackets

Royals won yesterday Moose hit a homerun.

Picture

The other day I was a bit mad at a picture that someone took. It looked like I had some fat on my wing under my arm. I started to go "there" and beat myself up. I then I just tried really hard to realize that 1:I am glad I am in the picture to begin with and not drinking beer and looking like crap. I am also glad I am wearing a clean shirt in the picture and that I don't look like total trash. I also 2: Started to go back over my workouts in November and December. I worked really hard. Really broke myself down in the gym to lose some weight. I decided to go easy on myself and know that even if I was ripped in the picture I would still be pissed about something in the way that I look. (Probably that I am bald)

2-mile walk

I went for a two mile walk and it was very nice. I played 311. Whenever I feel really good I start to dream about getting a band together, but I know I don't have the energy for work, working out, AA, and a band. So I just enjoyed my walk and it was nice.

Monday

Monday was o.k. I had a nice buzz going because the weekend was good. I talked to my friend Tim who has traveled around the Mid West hitchhiking. I went to work. Work was a bit of a grind. I had this guy come over who sat by me, unscheduled listening to me work. I was a bit nervous but I know when a person is behind you like that it is a good thing. It is a good thing because I have the guts to get up everyday and do sales. I have the guts to not walk out when people just shadow what I am doing. So I get done with what I do and he in good fashion offers me advice. I make sure to heed the advice and write it down on my hand. Anything to get better and anything to keep me from being a wussy and taking my ball and going home. I got off work and I went to visit Andrea. We watched Tosh.0 and we obsessed about days. That is what we do best is obsess over things. She had some nice shoes and skirts that she bought a thrift store. I was sad that she didn't bring her barking dog home, but I was o.k. I ate some leftovers. I am going to try to get a walk in today. I have a day off on Tuesday and I think I am just going to watch waterfalls all day on the computer to give my brain a total day off.

Walking

I just got done with a 2 mile walk. It was nice out. Hoodie was a bit hot, but overall it was good.

Penguins lose

Shaping up to be a good series between the Blue Jackets and the Penguins series is tied 1-1.

Friday

Friday I was able to wash my clothes. Also we took out the trash this weekend. Actual trash.

We really dodged a ladder this weekend.

There were lots of highs and lows. I forgot one ticket somewhere so there was a bit of a meltdown to try to get into the Royals game. Luckily...Andrea bought a ticket then provided a bit of humor to the table and we were able to get into the Royals game. Before that happened a ladder fell out of a truck and my parents missed the ladder and I was able to miss the ladder as well. So kudos go out to Andrea and I for working on our mental state enough to not let ladder mishaps and ticket debacles ruin Easter. I got the money back from the tickets and that made me feel good. I hope Ben's parents had fun. My mom bought Andrea a shirt and it fit very well. Andrea got two lovely text messages from her dad and Gilda that were a God send to tell her to keep going keep working mentally, spiritually, and physically.

Granite City...is awesome. I enjoyed their breakfast and Andrea enjoyed shots of desserts and prime rib. I loved the bacon and the eggs.


The Royals lost, but they are playing better ball.

Sporting Kansas City is of course the greatest Footy ball team in the U.S. so when they beat the Moose Piss out of a Canadian team it really wasn't a surprise.

On Sunday night Andrea and I vacuumed and did some dishes. I am really obsessed with getting a house decent to were it doesn't look like total trash. After we cleaned Andrea and I went to an AA meeting where I was a bit tired and didn't make an effort to talk to people, but I vow next time to try harder to talk to people. It was a great weekend overall. I don't feel bad at all that the weekend is over I just feel more even keeled about the situation. My gratitude list is very long, but of course I am thankful to be alive, I am thankful to have a job, I am thankful for family, and I am thankful for the library and help so I can always improve myself.

Saturday

Saturday Andrea and I went to a farm in Kerney. It was like trails west. Andrea tried to break the windows and the shutters of this 200 year old building. I had fun making rope and hitting on the fair ladies churning butter. I saw how to split a log. I was throwing a fit because I wanted to get to the sporting KC game. We hung outside and I got one ticker inline and we struggled to find another ticket. Eventually we got in and Sporting KC put in a dominant performance. Aurralian Colin had two goals and so did Dom Dwyer. Besler and Kronburg played well. After the game we went to the members bar and we sang songs. It felt good to sing in a victory. Afterwards Andrea and I hung out with some guys in the parking lot and they were fun. We kicked a ball around for awhile as well. I will update stories later on including my argument with a turkey.

Friday

Friday I woke up. I was tired, so I drove around and listened to my favorite band pepper. I then came home. I had fish for lunch. I went to an AA meeting at noon. I made it a point to shake hands and bring old people in for what I like to call an "urban hug" the old guys seemed weirded out, but I laughed my ass of giving them the "urban hug" It is sunny out and I have eight more hours of work until the weekend. This weekend is Royals and Sporting KC and Penguins weekend. I doubt I get to watch much because I will be praying and doing easter things. I want to say again. I have eight more hours of work until the weekend.

Thursday

Thursday was pretty awful as far as anxiety is concerned. It isn't too bad most of the time. I was a big ball of nerves for no apparent reason. I talked to Raymond and I prayed. I did everything I could. Then I just did my best to work with it. I hate using my PTO to deal with my stress and anxiety. Today I was able to get through without taking the day off, but I am eying a day off in the future to just chill out and get away from work. I haven't used a PTO day yet since I started my new job so I am good there. I am now in the phase of the day where I beat myself up for letting my anxiety condition effect my job. I went to work and I finished work. I also met with Raymond. I have to give myself respect to at-least face the world even though I am a big ball of nervousness sometimes. I had a guy sit with me to go over my sales technique. That made me about throw up because I was very nervous and very anxiety filled and to have a guy over my shoulder was pretty stressful. Overall though I ok. I am just trying to give myself the most credit as possible for keep going out and keep getting better.

Thursday

Thursday Morning...mornings have been a bit rough for me as of late. I drove around and listened to AA speaker tapes. Trying to get my mind right. I know that if I put in the time to pray and just let my body do it's thing I will eventually feel better. I feel better now after driving around and listening to some spiritual things. I also washed my feet which was surprisingly relaxing. Yesterday I came home after work and caught up on my Royals and Penguins. I didn't do much else. Today I drove around and got food. Tomorrow is good Friday. I need to print out 240 dollars worth of Royals tickets for Sunday I suppose. I eventually have to go to my mailbox. I am not in the mood for that today.

Penguins and Royals win.

Penguins didn't look great and the Royals won in dramatic fashion. Royals win one more game they come home playing .500 Feels good man.

Wednesday

Went to work. After work I walked a mile or so at 24-hour fitness. Weather is beautiful sitting in bed with a breeze. Moose went deep in a Royals win.

Phone vs logging on on time.

Yesterday as I arrived at work I realized that I forgot my phone. I am always early for work. If there is one thing I can do it is get to work on time. So anyway I said to myself....Ray you can risk being late and get your phone. Or you can go phoneless and that is probably better for you anyway. Less distractions and more getting work done. I chose to leave my phone at home. It was a bit weird, but I felt better making sure I got clocked in on time with coffee ready to go.

Penguins preview

Going to try to catch the Penguins on Replay. The series with the Blue Jackets is going to be Wed Sat Mon Wed Sat Mon Wed. Predictions is the Penguins win 4 games to 1.

I am enjoying some Manchester City versus Sunderland in the English Premier League.

Going down the rabbit hole

Yesterday was not a great day for my insides, but it did provide me plenty of chance to input my experience. Nothing I like more than to entertain myself with stories of personal development and growth. The first thing that came about is chiefsplanet.com. There is a dating thread. The people on there talk about "Cute" text messages and other little ways of getting girls to interact with them. That is fine. Then though comes the real issue. "Why is this girl flaking on me?" "This girl won't text me or call me back"
"she seems interested but she waffles"

And here we go.

If a girl is interested you will know 100%. The problem with guys sending out cute emails and texts is that they are using that crumb of approval to build their self-esteem to make them feel good, then time passes and they need that crumb of approval again. The real problem is they suck. The girls they are doing this too treat them less than a dog.
They need to build actual value up and then their happiness won't depend on if a girl texts them back. Lets say you have A COLD...you keep on blowing your nose but what you really need is to get some solid rest and hydrate and time to get better. Well texting and doing all this cute things trying to win approval is like blowing your nose. What you really need to do to get a grasp on dating issues is get better at your job, make more money, be better socially, lose weight, or if you are skinny put muscle on, build social skills, and stop being a wuss-bag. When this happens what do you know, you have a life that is good enough without dating. When it is that good...oh look who is texting you saying they miss you? Same girl taking selfies with her dog. Life is hard, growth is hard, but obviously to have a decent life you have to work and pay the price.

Tuesday

Tuesday wrap up. Woke up with higher anxiety than normal. Drove to get my oil changed. Got my wiper blades changed and the air filter changed. Came home and relaxed. Posted on message boards. Went to work. Work was ok...then went to 24-hour fitness walked 1.5 miles. Royals won. Nice and cool outside. Going to bed shortly.

common sense

The older I get the more I get in tune with common sense. You know like when you car says oil change needed. You bump that up on your to do list. I woke up today with some heaviness in my mind and I was able to get up and at least get my oil changed.

EPL and Penguins vs. Blue Jackets

I was able to watch a wrap up show for the English Premier league. Liverpool is good. Blue Jackets play the Penguins in the playoffs.

Monday

Walked for 1 mile after work at 24 hour fitness.

Saturday Sunday and Monday morning

Saturday night was the busiest I have been at work. I got through it. I was actually pretty stressed, but a long drive after work helped me unwind. Sunday came and so did the rain. The Royals have been playing awful. I am trying not to watch them too much in this stretch because there is really nothing I can do but say that it is a long season. I am ready for Hockey playoffs and NBA playoffs to take my mind off of the Royals stench. Andrea cooked me steak on Sunday and she forced me to watch "Draft Day" Draft day was one of the worst movies I have ever seen. It would have gotten an "F" but I will say that the owner in the movie and Terry Crews and some of Rich Eisen is funny in the move movie. Andrea and I went to Chuck E. Cheese where the highlight was us beating a "Rail" type of shooter game. I also discovered that the water gun game is the worst game in the history of games. It was a pretty fun night even though the rain kept us from going to oceans of fun. I ate pretty good all the weekend. I don't eat chips, candy bars, cakes, pies, or anything that is total garbage. I was glad that I was able to eat meat from a grill as opposed to some crap like chicken nuggets. Price Chopper does have decent meat.

Saturday

Saturday I woke up with a bit of anxiety. I didn't feel like putting in the work to unscrew myself so I drove around with some music until I relaxed. Now I am at the Library. We are getting cable in our apartment today. Some of me is sad because I liked how not having cable forced me to read more.

windows phone

I heard "Eww don't pick that up honey, it's yucky" I thought this mom was telling her toddler not to pick up dog crap, but the kid was trying to pick up my windows phone I had dropped.

Random

Other stuff I did on Thursday

Met with Raymond.
Sarah said she will pay for cable T.V. so we got cable T.V. ordered
Read some books.
I played some guitar outside. The Ibanez really sounds good with the clean sound. Buying a tuner also helped.


Friday I woke up and I felt horrible. Way too much walking yesterday. I ate some peanut butter and went back to sleep and had to get some food in me with water. Felt better. Went to a Noon AA meeting. Then headed to work. I had two sales at work which is better than I have been doing. I really know you get out what you put in so I try to work as hard as possible. I felt pretty good all night and after work on friday I went for a 1 mile walk at 24 hour fitness.

Thursday

Thursday was good. I walked downtown and looked at fountains with Andrea. We then went up to the WWI memorial to scope out glorious KC. It was a great night. I was also able to grill delicious meat and cheese because it was delicious. We were going to go to Roller Skating, but I decided that I didn't want to hang out with a bunch weirdo's so we instead hung out by buzzard beach! Andrea and I also went to the world market where she told me about stories of yore featuring tons of her eating chocolate in Italy. The weather outside was nice. I love not being hungover and being able to enjoy "The City of Fountains" We also got free coffee from the World Market (Score!) It was a good night and I enjoyed myself. It was a nice break from AA as well. A good organic break in the flow of life from AA is the best.

Wednesday night

Wednesday Night I got off work and I was pretty grumpy. I went for a walk at 24 hour fitness. Andrea called me but I was like...listen here. I a grumpy pants until I get my walk in. After work I called her back while I was shopping for salad at Hy-Vee. I then came and did nothing until I slept. I haven't slept well lately, but it hasn't been bad enough for to change anything. Thursday. I woke up. Took a shower. Went to Raymonds. I went for a 2 mile walk. Jason and I went downtown to drink coffee. Andrea met up with us and we hung out.

Chiefsplanet Royals lingo

Drinking from the dick sock = Not being a good player for the Royals or chiefs


Hosmer and Butler need to stop drinking from the Dick sock.

Grown ass man = Salvador Perez

GreySheeters?

I am listening to this group of people called Grey Sheeters on speaker tapes. It sounds like a hard thing to do. It is basically really letting someone else measure your food and really enforcing you to eat 3 meals a day..no eating between and give up your control. I really respect these people just listening to them. Obviously if you were to do this it would really crush your mind and your personality into a totally different person. No mistake about it these people free up their minds for what used to be obsessing on food, now turn it over to more productive things.

One level of growth I noticed

For a couple years I have tried to take my free time and invest it back into audio books to try to learn thinking that if I keep investing all my time into education or whatever that would bring me to a place of higher status, financial awesomeness, or just cooler in general. This in turn would bring me to a better place of happiness. Now I am starting to realize that when I have free time not to sit there wasting time on obsessing over what to do. It is ok to think about it, but I really have obsession. So yesterday I had free time and I could feel myself going to obsess what I was going to do with my life, but I "Took it easy and didn't struggle" The right action or thought seemed to come to me. I enjoyed my night with some awesome Royals action.

Tuesday

Tuesday started out decent. I printed off some articles so if I get bored I can read. I really strive to be a better reader and comprehend more. I went to work early because I had meetings all day. The meetings were cancelled. I worked the day and it was busy. I got off early and I knew one thing. I wanted to watch the Royals. I debated if I should go to the game, but that seemed a bit much. I drove to St. Joseph and watched the game with my dad. It was a good close game with drama. My mom told me "It's so great you want to spend time with your parents" I really just wanted to spend time with Dad's awesome TV. He awesome made me eggs. Nothing says springtime like eggs and baseball. The Royals lost because their offense is a dumpster fire. The leaders on offense didn't get the job done. Their young stud pitcher Ventura was electric. I spent the rest of my night listening to sports radio go on and on about how bad the offense is.


Wednesday morning I woke up and cleaned out my car a bit. I went for a small walk for 10 minutes or so, just walked so I can stretch and get my mind going, now I am at the library listening to stories on tape of people who snack so much. There were several video games at the library that I wanted to check out, but I need to really work on Grand Theft Auto 5.

Tuesday

My work doesn't allow mp3 players which on the surface. I will try to turn this into a chance to grow my sales skills and also learn about people. The reason I love MP3 players is because I can listen to audio books. I can just talk to people and cultivate my people skills and listen to what they are saying like an audio book.

I woke up Tuesday in a decent mood. I can tell negative emotions are creeping in, but I just try to tell myself how easy life is today compared to the school/work grind of college or the fact that I have a job and I am set up to earn money and just a couple months ago I was working my tail off to find jobs and not getting paid for that. So in short life is good.

Royals

Big knock for Escobar tonight. Sucks Infante got hit in the face, doesn't look to be like a season ender. Was sad about the crowd, but school is not out yet.

Monday

Monday I woke up in a slightly goofy mood. I thought about how great the weekend was. Plenty of hot Royals action and actual warm meals. That was pretty sweet. I got my DMO switched over to dentist. I thank God for my teeth every day so I can bite into delicious meats and cheeses. I walked upto black dog because it was nice out. I spent the night and morning telling myself I am giving up girls for a day. Andrea met up me up at black dog and I drank delicious coffee. It was truly a nice day out. I walked down to Callhihans and had a bacon, cheese, chicken salad and watched Nascar. What a treat it was for me to watch nascar since it was rained out on Monday. I went to work and had a rough sales day, but I showed up in clean clothes on time and I did my best. I read lots of Emmitt Fox and today was about controlling people.It was good. After work I walked for a mile at 24-hour fitness. It was rather uneventful, but again I felt really good walking. I think my spiritual side needs spring, sports, sun, and fresh air to really heal after a winter that had lots of anxiety and frustration. Last night Jason and Sarah were being silly like always and we hung out outside and I have to acknowledge that it was very nice.

Monday Morning

Changed my primary dentist over to the one I have been using. I was able to actually do something and call my new dental coverage and select my favorite dentist.

More on Sporting KC

Sporting KC and Real Salt Lake are very evenly matched. It is a coin flip whenever they play. A late goal on the road last year had a win for SKC and a shootout won the end of the MLS CUP. No surprise that SKC got a draw. The real surprise was the Red Card from Rosell. COLLIN BESLER AND KRONBERG DID THEIR THANG YO.


Royals....Starting pitching looks good, hitting looks ok...need to have way more power. I am not worried yet. Need to start beating up on bad pitching and soon.

I just got done with a 2 mile walk and was really thinking about the Royals.

A shout out to Eric Hosmer who played great defense today. Billy Butler needs to start lifting the ball. He had a couple hits today that were just rollers through the infield. Yuck.

Sunday night.

I was more spiritual when I got home and talked to Jason outside. I was blessed with some awesome weather this weekend. I will thank God now for the great weather. Sarah was hanging around as well. She is fun to be around when I am in a good mood. My apartment really is a great place to be on Sunday night. Good laughs and lots of having fun. I had some good food this weekend. I really love bacon and eggs because it helps me not eat chips and cookies, yet it is warm and delicious. My jeep is dirty on the inside and I vow to get that cleaned this week coming up.

The weekend

The weekend was pretty good. The Royals game #1 it was beautiful. The Royals play amazing defense and had some clutching hitting. Especially from Salvador "grown ass man" Perez. I bought banana bread for my parents. I then hustled over to watch Sporting KC. The Sporting KC game was fun. Oril Rossel got a red card and the game went to crap. Andrea and I got out of the parking lot very quickly. That is what I will remember most about that game.

Friday

Friday I woke up. I was able to work out for 1.2 miles on a treadmill. I printed off the Royals tickets. Cordinated with my dad and andrea that we are meeting at barry road tomorrow at noon. Now I am just hanging out.

Jeep

I paid for my jeep for the month of April which means I have my jeep for another month. I got my apartment and jeep paid for the month of April. That gives me some security to really have fun this month.

Thursday

Thursday I met with Raymond. Went over to NKC and went to the North Oak AA group. It was ok. I then whisked Andrea away to a romantic dinner at CiCi's then we went to the bowling alley and drank coffee at the diner. I was in a decent mood yesterday and traffic and people didn't bother me. People in AA really looked like crap yesterday. Glad I was sober and not in jail and not pooping my pants in jail.

Thursday

Today I woke up..took a shower. I had the day off. I went to Hollywood casino. Lost 20 dollars...I can play for a couple hours but I always end up playing the games that look fun, and of course that is when I lose my money the quickest. I then really wanted to eat something good. I eat so much beef jerky, nuts, peanut butter, that I really was like...it is my day off. I had an omlettee and it was warm and delicious. I was going to save the hashbrowns and toast, but I don't even risk putting carbs in my car because I don't want the temptation. I tipped very average because I thought my waitress sucked.

Wednesday

Wednesday was ok. I sold only one thing at work. That isn't very good. I felt like that I was doing good, the fish weren't biting. I bought beef jerky from aldi's today. That is rad. I went for a walk for a mile after work at 24 hour fitness.

Wednesday

I woke up..Charged up my laundry card. I did laundry. I went for a mile walk on the treadmill. I went by the library but they were closed. I got me a mountain dew. I played the greatest level of Grand Theft Auto 5 ever called "The Heist"

Tuesday

Tuesday was pretty good. I spent some of my day thinking about work which is good. I checked my credit card account 100 times today to see if my payment was posted. Sometimes I get obsessed with the weirdest things. I guess I would rather be obsessed with that than other things. Andrea visited me at lunch. She said she made brownies, but she made these cut out "E"'s which meant they were litterally "brown E's" I almost pee'd my pants laughing so hard. That was funny. I worked hard to sell and work today. It went ok. I was pretty proud of myself that I really try to work. I got off work and went to 24 hour fitness and walked on the treadmill.

Today

Today I am grateful I have some direction or skill that I can cultivate. I hate reading books about how to improve my skills and it sucks when I didn't have a job. It gets a bit overwhelming to keep grinding day after day, but it is worse when you have nothing to do of value and you just have to keep finding ways keep busy. So long story short it is nice to at-least make a choice that I am going to be worker who specializes in being patience and empathetic. Those skills will help me to go to work day in and day out and also help people.

Tuesday

Tuesday was a beautiful day out. I put on my Chiefs Track jacket and went to the Bank. I paid some more on my credit card bill. It was nice. I then got dollar bills in exchange for 20 dollars so I can feel awesome like a big time baller with dollar bills all over the plain.


The Royals are off today I believe. Sporting KC plays this weekend. Sporting KC features Dom Dwyer who may start going on a superstar like run. SKC is pretty loaded.