Thoughts On the NBA Finals

I really hope Dallas wins. Dirk reminds me of a poor mans Rik Smits.

Nutritional All Stars VS. Nutritional Kyle Davies

There are some good foods, there are some bad foods, then there are the ALL-STARS and then Nutritional versions of Kyle Davies. Today we take a look at the Food version of Albert Pujols, the egg white. I like egg whites hard boilded. They are 17 Calories and packed with enough protien to shit your pants, luckily the egg whites tend to bind me up, so shitting my pants really isn't an option after I eat 100 of those things. The Nutritional Kyle Davies is Super Bubble gum, it is just sugar and doesn't fill you up, doesn't provide any positive, and the only joy I ever get from it is when I throw it in my Dogs hair and I have to shave the dog and take it to the park and tell everyone it has doggie cancer.

SORIA

GOOOO AWAY

Billy Butler Should be on swamp people

That is all. Holy crap Chris Getz is playing alright baseball as we speak!

May 29th 2011

Well, Soria blows another one. SgtMatt sent me a text that said it all. "Soria about that." I had some marathon time with my friends Birdman, Elder Statesman, and V Foundation. The Elder Statesmans girlfriend was there, and she laughs at my jokes, which is badass. We gambled some, I broke even and played for awhile. I had a bunch of 3 of a kind but just couldn't break through to get 4 of a kind.

gah

Dayton Moore's trades has sucked, he can draft and develop ok. Man Shawn O'Sullivan Sucks. His nickname is SOS and that really fits. Vinnie rained threes and Bryce went to the hole hard has they played in the Alumni tournament. I went over to Matt's and he was playing a dance game with some kids. It was pretty funny.

Saturday May 28th

I started off the day with a long walk. There was some sort of run going in the park, but I didn't let the in shape people ruin my walk. I listened to some Alien Ant Farm. Then I listened to the Lonely Island cd. That really cracked me up. Lifted some weights after that. The Royals did a good job winning yesterday. That was nice.

Swamp People

I just finished up watching some Swamp people. A few observations....most of them probably have a 3rd grade education, and they say living in the swamp is a family business. I can only assume their sexual lives....also a family affair. (I am saying they have sex with their family members) I am glad that they don't just show them shooting Gators in the head, I like that they catch fish and shrimp as well. The Royals are terrible, I won't talk about them today. I am just ready for the summer. It will be one to remember. Bryce and I have been lifting some weights, just ready for beach season!

Billy Butler looks like he could be on swamp people, of course he would have to lose some pounds so he doesn't tip the shrimp boat.

I am watching scooby doo right now with cortland. The characters are playing in a rock show and their name is "meddling kids"

Tornado warning

There was a tornado warning today in our area, and after seeing the Joplin situation, everyone was on edge. I don't know what to say about the fact that there is a tornado warning outside but everyone I see goes outside to use their cell phones when the tornado warning goes off. I am captain over reaction, but some people take calling their loved ones during a Tornado Warning too far. I supposed I would feel differently if I kids, but thankfully years sitting in a hot tub with tight shorts on have left me sterile.

Comments about the Royals from Orangemane.

I posted what the future and what the Royals are like right now over at Orangemane.com

The royals are under .500 but have some monster beasts coming through their system. Slick fielding firstbasemen Eric Hosmer is as awesome as Malcom X in the DMV.

Billy Butler is the Royals Fat DH that is a doubles machine, is down right now but wait until he gets going. His fatness will overwelm your senses.
Danny Duffy is the royals left handed prodigy, he is like masterbating with your left hand....A nice change of pace.
Bruce Chen looks like he is chinease, but he is from Panama...and that is a song by Van Halen.
We have a guy coming up named Lorenzo Cain the early reports are that he is a black guy. Alex Gordon is in left field and will be pedestrian most of his underachieving career, but I reconize the name so I like him.

Our Secondbasemen is named Alcidez escobar he is like a black ozzie smith with more power. or second basemen looks like the situation from jersey shore, but goes down like snooki. Right field Francour is out there just waiting to suck. Joakim Soria was our best player for awhile but now he is broken. He was automatic and now he is throwing up on himself...that is why his nickname is Ally Mcbeal

Here we go

In the song...5 oclock somewhere. It says. It's only half past twelve....it's five o'clock somewhere. It would be 5:15 somewhere.

Burnt Ends

are great. Too bad OK joes is so stingy with them. Give me some burnt ends in my mouth. That is what I want. This is America damnit

In many ways

I find it unnacceptable that the Fresno State Bull dogs yesterday. The computer refused to let me hit a shot, even though the person shooting hat above 75 on their "mid range" jumpers. I will just chalk it up as my team partying too hard. I did win the next game by a large amount. In fact a picture of a urine sample came up along with a giant "#" meaning that I really piss pounded the Idaho Vandels.

Why Didn't Adcock stay in the game longer?

That is a good question Birdman. Getting ready for relief apperances is different from starting a game. Different amount of strength training, long toss, etc. There is different programs of weight training, stretching, and throwing for relief pitchers and rtarting pitchers. Adcock also is a Rule 5 pick that came straight from the low Minor Leagues. I am just thankful he pitched well and I wouldn't have cried if he went 6 or 7 innings. You just don't want to kill a young arm in a season that doesn't mean much right now. I personally could give a shit about pitch counts or all that. I would throw a guy out there until a guys arm flies into a million pieces some even all the way to Platte City, but I see why they are careful. Don't want to MECHE him.

Billy Butler has an OBP of .391
Wilson Betemit has an OBP of .379
Matt Treanor has an OBP of .379

Getting Matt Treanor to take walks...It's obvious that Kevin Sietzer has some sort of Golden Healing powers. Hopefully he uses them for good. Like to cure Kordell Stewerts aids.

My Diet yesterday. Wow

Yesterday was a terrible day for eating for me. It was a trainwreck. Today I am making a plan to really write down atleast what I eat. I don't have to change anything, but my goal is to write down accurately what I eat and the calories. I don't care if royals calories have 40 grams of sugar. They have 100% amount of fun I need! The point is as of right now just be honest on what I eat. I have a feeling I am going to be surprised one way or the other. My guess is I undereat on Monday Tuesday and obviously overeat on the weekends when I am bored. So...... I hate peanuts and mixed veggies from a can so far today. I can see already it is easier for me to overeat, or undereat(starve) than it is to get the daily amount of calories.

p.s. Royals Cookies are great.

05/23/11

I woke up feeling alittle bit off. I then started to get freaked out why I was so off this morning. I knew it was just a feeling that would pass. I wrote down three things that helped me get through that two hour feeling. Ron Swanson makes me feel good. His Mustache and his love for Bobby Knight make me whole, Thank God I am not in Joplin. I am also thankful I have legs from which I can max out my squat tonight.

Sunday

Hung out with Birdman today. It was fun. We watched 6 hours of parks and recreation. I made wings, he brough over pizza and we got alot of TV watching done. I also made mac and cheese, and Zarda Beans. We averaged 4 laughs per 15 minuntes.

Bryce and I as always got into a spirited conversation about Winston Churchill. The wings we ate had Franks Hot Sauce on it. I need to find a way to keep the sauce on the wings and not falling off. I know you dip the wings in butter but that didn't help much. I did dip the Little Ceasers pizza in the hot sauce. That was in a word "freaking bad ass!"

Royals Cards Game 2 notes (part 2)

The Royals are swinging early and often. Jake Westbrook has a No Hitter through three innings. The Royals bats are ICE COLD. Whenever I say ICE COLD, I imagine me saying it like Andre 3000 from Outkast.

I just added Billy Butler on twitter. Amazed how many food places he follows!

Eight pitchers and Nate Adcock gets out of the inning.

Hosmer is a smart hitter. They got him on a change away, he just took two away change ups for balls. Now he is 3-0 Greenlight! Ball 4!

The royals bases loaded just ground into the double play and get no runs :(

Royals just got a break. A strong throw by Escabar and Hos left the base to go up and get the ball

Royals Cards Game 2 notes (part 1)

Nate Adcock is starting. This week he has been shorter with his answers
to the media. The royals are wearing their powder blue uniforms. I am not quite
sure why the cards are bunting! We have Nate Adcock pitching who is from A ball, which is low minors...straight the majors......and they are willing to give us an out. Pujols doesn't run hard anymore on ground balls.

Good start for Adcock. He gets plenty of ground balls. I am
not sure he has thrown a fastball yet. Just sliders and sinkers.
I always wonder if a guy throws a sinker why don't just let it go
if starts at your knees. You know it is going out of the strike zone.
I guess that is why I am 30 white guy sweating in a red recliner and not
humping balls into the fountain like a 1985 Steven Balboni.

Jake Westbrook Is starting for the cards. One can only guess how many
gigs of Dave Matthews mp3's he has on his Iphone.


Arg 5 pitches and 5 outs. Melky Swings at the first pitch in the first inning
and hits a week ground ball. Annoying player is Annoying. 9 Pitch inning
for jake westrbrook. Hosmer looks weak on the offspeed pitch away.
Time for the first of 20 chevy commercials!

That looked like a great Catch, but if that was Cain or Dyson he wouldn't had to made it so Adventerous

Long drive to Left!!! It dies in the loving arms of Alex Gordon. The K saves a homerun. Adcock gets through 2 innings. Decent start.
Lets get the bats going!

Frank White said you can say anything you want to umpires as long as
you don't put "you" in front of it. So In my mind I am thinking
Ok so you can say cocksucker on the field all you want, but if you say
"you cocksucker" you will be ejected from the game.

Hosmers tallness just saves Escobar from an error.

Jeremy Jeffress

I was going to pitch, but I got high...

I am struggling to write anything about this pitcher. I do know he smokes weed and has been busted twice. He can't get in trouble when he is in the Majors because they have a different set of rules set forth by the players union. That is wierd I just used the phrase "Set forth" I think I might use that more often

I SET FORTH THE RULES THAT DEMONPENZ SHALL HAVE BISCUITS AT MY TABLE!

May 20th 2011

Happy Friday everyone. To the working man, every friday is so glorious it makes me want to hug minority children. The Royals bats are in a slump, thankfully the Royals have a true star in Hosmer, so he will take care of everything for now. I hope Butler and Gordon get going so Hosmer doesn't have to do it all. This weekend is when we play the redbirds. I always hate redbird fans. All they seem to do is watch 2 games a year, hit on chicks, listen to dave matthews band, and piss me off. Then their fluke World Series. The only good thing about St. Louis is that The Urge came from there. *intro to some random music* and now it is time for a Royals Vs. Cards Memory. I couldn't find an article, because no one apparently gives a shit about the Roylas or Mike Sweeney, but in 2002 Mike Sweeney hit a walk off homerun to sweep the Cards. Mike Sweeney was always a beast with runners in scoring position. I think his career batting average was .333 with RISP, but you can check the numbers yourself on KCRoyals.com asshole

Q/A Session from DemonGame

Q: I have a girl who is fun in the sack, she maybe into partying and drugs, she has a bad face, but slammin body. Should I keep her around or boot her? Help!

DemonGame: You have to take out a piece of paper and write down what you want from this situation and what actions you take. One side write "sport sex" the other Column write Relashionship. Then from here on out decide what column you want to act on, and make sure your actions reflect that. Don't treat a ho like a housewife. Too often we get in that mode of not making choices based on what we want out of lazyness or just not clear thinking. That is how you end up taking your swampy butterface cokeadile to events that she doesn't need to be going to.

The Pacers Offseason

The NBA Draft is right around the corner. It is of course time for me to review what the Pacers should do in the offseason. I of course have been slaving over tapes, stats, and youtube videos searching for the answers of how the Pacers can Win the big one. That is right... A PLAYOFF SERIES. I think I have the answer! What we do is we genetic engineer Tyler Hansburo with Rik Smits. Can you imagine that amount of Dutch and that amount of Poplar Bluff Missouri in one basketball player? It of course would amount to a shitload of awesome. You take Tyler Hansburo's ability to breathe through his mouth, with The Dunkin' Dutchman's Jump Shot. You got yourself a 100 yard dash of whoop ass. He will be throwing elbows like nba jam, but shooting the basektball like he is blinking in the game Double Dribble for the Nintindo Entertainment System. How can it get any more awesome? We will bring John Stockton's Shorts out of retirement and put them on this TYLER SMITS BEAST. The thought of the left testical slipping out of his shorts will give Him/IT the space needed to knock down 24 Jumpers

IN A ROW!

The Royals are pissing me off

Soooooooo lets have a Jeff Blauser memory.

Jeffrey Michael Blauser (born November 8, 1965 in Los Gatos, California) is a former Major League Baseball shortstop. He played for the Atlanta Braves and Chicago Cubs from 1987 to 1999.

He was one of my favorites because in the 80's and early 90's shortstops that could hit were as scarce as a High School Diploma in Avenue City. I loved to watch him play even though he wasn't flashy with the glove. He ususally batted 6th or 7th behind Justice or Ron Gant. So after you got through with the thunder of Pendleton, Justice, (sometimes Mcgriff) and Ron Gant. You still had a Demonpenz Hall of Gamer....Jeff Blauser


I hate turkey lunch meat with some nuts today! I do have a notebook that I can share with Bryce and we can have a laugh! signed.... Jeff Blauser

Throwing Junk

As I was leaving the K yesterday, I overheard a guy talking with an Australian accent. I was thinking to myself, hmmmm is that an English accent? If it is, that dude's nose is going to get a Demonpenz Knuckle Buffet (I was going to punch him in the nose...and it was going to be all the nose could eat!) The guy was clearly Austrialin.... he had a crocidile necklace. That got me thinking, I wonder if he even understands the game and the lingo. So I passed Crocidile Dundee and I headed to my car...where I thought about it more. I wonder if that Austrailian dude knows what a Yellow Hammer is? I wonder if anyone knows what a Yellow hammer is? A Yellow Hammer refers to a curve ball that drops straight down and is thrown directly overhand. There are various levels of confusion going on whith this phrase. Let us begin with the fact that this type of "curve" ball doesn't curve. It drops straight down. Then there is the name. Yellow Hammer. When I first heard the phrase Yellow Hammer I thought the pitcher was out there with a giant inflateable Hammer (the tool) that was yellow. The kind of inflateable toy that you can Bonk!! your friends with "yes I just used the verb bonk"
It turns out that yellow hammer is a bird. I will wrap up today's blog with a confusing frightning frustrating conversation I once had about the Yellow Hammer Curveball.

Danny: This pitcher has a Yellow Hammer"
Demonpenz: What's a Yellow Hammer?
Danny: You know....a 12 to 6 Curveball
Demonpenz: What's a 12-6 curveball mean? Is that a hatsize?"
Danny: *long sighful sigh* No it is a curveball that drops straight down
Demonpenz: Like a Hammer! Hammering in a nail.
Danny: No, like the Bird the yellow hammer that drops down
Demonpenz: Like a Hammer! Hammering in a nail!
Danny: Goddamnit I hate you sometimes.

Def Leppard

One time I saw a school for the hearing impared and their freaking mascots were the leopards. I kinda laughed thinking how much sugar (and baskets) their ball teams could pour on opponents. I used to hate Def Leppard so much. To me it was just annoying, now that I have had years of much more annoying music (Hi Rebecca black, Crunk, Marcy's playground) I have come to be at peace with this English Rock group. They are a straight rock group and without them, we would not have any fun paradying rockstars. I see alot of people that wear torn jeans and fake wigs around halloween and they don't even know anything about what they are making fun of. Excuse me sir...you are making fun of bands like Def Leopard who had the cheesy video's, monster guitar riffs, unmatchable drum sounds. My favorite songs by DLeopard is fa fa-fa-foolin and Photograph, although Hysteria is good too. I wish I had Hysteria on cassette right now, but then I would have to put the ole Pontiac up on blocks and start working on gaskets and such. In short..... Def Leopard. They aren't bad.

P.S. Their Drummer with his arm cut off has provided hours of entertainment for me. I know I can't spell leppard correctly most of the time. That makes the band awesome as well.

Duffy to pitch tomorrow?

610 Reports that Duffy will be up to pitch tomorrows game. Looks Dayton Moore is just bringing up the young kids. That is a good thing and a reason to watch this year.
This was a totally lost season to me, didn't care about it until I started looking at the minors and Frenchy got off to a decent start, and Alex was on fire. It looks like they are heading towards the bottom, but they had some excitement going until May. That is more than most Royals teams.

Royals Laughable memory time!

I remember when Mark Quinn went 500 at bats without walking, then when he finally walked, they set off the fireworks at the K.

Some Royals, some things from DemonGame

You know the Royals didn't do a very good job, when your mom sends you a text message at 9:09 am about it. Go Royals. Stop Sucking!


The next bit of my blog is going to be about my ongoing book DemonGame. The truth about comedy, love, and life. At the start of the book, I ask the reader to write out their passions. If they don't have any passions, they need to find some. After they have found passions it will be used throughout the book to track your actions. The Subject came up over the weekend about "being stood up" that is a tough thing to go through, but you can really turn a negative into a positive by turning your thoughts and actions over to your passions. Write it out and be clear what you did when an event happened. If your passion is animals, turn thoughts and actions to animals, if your passion is kicking ninja's in the head...Well I thank you Chuck Norris for buying my book!

It is easy to sulk and be sick in the head when girls do things that are unacceptable. The two strike rule should be in effect for any girls you are just starting out dating. They get two strikes and they are out. That is a tall task, but if you want to become a man of value, character, and awesomeness, you have to enforce the 2-strike rule. If you don't apply it, don't call me about how you are on a date at the mall picking out shoes. DemonGame is tough to follow, you don't have to follow it perfectly, but atleast when you mess up. You can clearly see when you don't follow it, it was YOUR actions that lead you to the "SEX in the CITY marathon on TBS"

the pig's face. that is what I tend on focusing on.

Worrying is like praying for something bad to happen.

The Kyle Davies story is over.

Kicking a dog that comes into your yard

On chiefsplanet.com today, we were having a detailed discussion of what to do when a dog comes into your yard. Someone decided to say "You kick the dog" Another person says "why would you kick a dog when is walking away?" I tell them
"When they are walking away is the perfect time to kick a dog, you can kick them so hard the red bologna string comes out their ass."

May 16th

Having a bad dream can start your day off badly. I had a dream yesterday that I was playing in the all star game at The K. First thing I noticed that Pujols was not taking the game seriously, he was batting left handed. I grounded out four times, all to second or shortstop. Then when I was walking to the dugout, my dad yelled out "what is your problem today?" I then got mad and explained that my bat speed is getting slower because I am in my 30's. I then went and looked into a bookbag of books for college, and I was at first mad because I had to take all these classes. I then realized that I graduated college and the books were all electives I was taking because I am bored and I like to learn. Some random things about my dream. The K still had astroturf. It wasn't sold out for the game, and my dad had his legs crossed like he was talking to someone else, and just caught my at bat. That was the end of my dream. I am sure there is some deep thoughts in there like I have dad issues, or I don't feel very good about myself now that I am 30, but I am just going to chalk it up to being a dream and not make it out to be something it isn't. I really do need to work on my bat speed though.

P.S. I bet my dad didn't catch my at bat because he was talking to someone about Boating, or the progressive rock band Styx.

Funny Tweets

Funny Tweets For those of you who don't know what tweets, tweets are short messages sent over the ungodly annoying .com fiasco "twitter". They are sometimes fun,always retarded, mostly they are just about people tooting their own horn trying to keep themselves important so they don't decide eat 400 sleeping pills and call it life

Louis C.K.
I just want to wish everyone happy hollidays for december of 2007. I didn't have twitter then.

Shitmydadsays
"No thanks. I don't need a party to celebrate New Year's. All I need is a bottle of bourbon and a t-shirt that hangs down passed my balls."

“Yes I got him a gift. He had a kidney stone. You piss a rock through your pecker, you deserve more than just a pat on the back."


Demonpenzsays

" I am eating Mike and Ike Tropical fruit"

Oklahoma Joe's

Went to OK joe's and it was tasty, rolled around with Sgt. Morris, then he kicked my ass when we played "you don't know jack" His dog jumped on my lap a couple times, matts dog has a hard time hiding the fact that he loves to eat his or other dogs shit

May 14th 2011

Bryce just txt'd me. He said "Piping" which means having sex in hopes of not reproducing. Actually reproducing is probably the best thing anyone can do, there are alot of times, I am looking at the piss pool I created by missing the toilet yesterday, and I am like, if only I had some one to clean that up. Some people say kids are like "dogs that can talk" unfortunately the state of Missouri doesn't say that, and you are required to pay for some crap if you decide to knock up a woman from the local denny's. There is nothing like getting down with a denny's waitress, every inch of their body's smell like eggs or bacon. Now that my friends. Is a true Grand Slam.

ashton kutcher has been chosen to be on 2 and half men. That just adds to his impressive resume of being on "That 70's Show" and Being Bruce Willis' replacement dick inside Demi Moore. My only hope is that Hyde moves in as well and Red Forman can put a boot up both their asses.

Royals Game Thread

Demonpenz: the key with hitting verlander is making sure you get a good pitch to hit, then hit it hard somewhere.

4th and Long: Or any other pitcher for that matter ...

Demonpenz: not really. The key to hitting Hochaver is just to make sure he makes it to the mound.

The God Hypothesis: The key to hitting Davies/Chen/Francis is just to make sure they make it to the mound

Demonpenz: The key to hitting Rianna is just making sure she makes it to Chris Brown

May 13th 2011

I had periods of anxiety which really sucked today. I think the quickest way for me to get over the anxiety is to actually talk to the person or the person giving the anxiety. Sending a txt message is awesome most of the time, but sometimes people like my family will txt me random stuff and I get bent out of shape, but if I called them my anxiety would be let go like air out of a tire. Hosmer has been hitting the crap out of the ball, which is awesome. It is a great time to be a Royals fan. I am wearing my Missouri Western Hoodie, it is awesome. Fridays are awesome.

Have you ever timed how long you are even having periods of happiness or anger? They at most ususally last 1 hour or so. I have trouble starting projects that are too large, when I am feeling good, then my mood switches and the project doesn't get done, then when I am feeling mad or frustrated I always feel like that is going to last forever. The truth is if I write it out or talk to someone the feeling will pass. I think I just want to hammer home that if you feel great, you won't feel that way for that long, ebb and flow baby.

May 11th 2011

Weather for Lenexa, KS
74°F °C
Current: Cloudy
Wind: S at 5 mph
Humidity: 81% 83°F



Today started out ok. I did spill some tea down my white shirt, which makes me look like a carney working the Leblond Carnival's Tilt-a-whirl. I learned awhile ago from a dvd by Steve P on confidience that there are ways to practice this for embarrassing situations. He used to go around malls or public places with various embarrassing Tshirts and hats on and talk to people and ask girls for their phone number. That is the first thing I thought of when I got this giant T stain. Just because this Tea is all over my breast area, doesn't mean I have to fee ashamed or embarrassed. It happens. The Royals lost yesterday, and Arod had 4 or 5 pitches he could have sent into orbit, but he missed on them. If he gets those same pitches tonight, I bet he hits them all the way to Atchison.

P.S. My nipples look like they are giving birth to starbucks coffee.

May 10th 2011

75°F
Current: Sunny
Wind: S at 15 mph
Humidity: 73%


Woke up and felt pretty good. Posted some things on Chiefsplanet.com I prayed and got dressed. I am going to start today's bog with some chatter from Chiefsplanet about the Royals. The subject was Yuni Betencourt just making a great play in the field

alnorth : stopped clock, correct twice, etc

Demonpenz:Stopped clock doesn't hit homeruns like ole fudge round could I am happy with escobar though. He is a good one. He saved some errors with his latteral movement while staying on the bag from a throw by Hosmer the other day.

alnorth: (speaking about Yuni) It was like Jose Guillen trying to play shortstop. An empty slugging percentage combined with horrid defense.

Infidel Goat:@demonpenz Have you checked out Betancourt's slugging percentage this year? It's putrid...

Demonpenz: I haven't checked anything from any other team. I have been focused on Hosmers stool to make sure he is healthy

May 9th 2011

73°F |

Current: Partly Cloudy
Wind: S at 11 mph
Humidity: 73%


Woke up. I put on a T-Shirt that reads "I GET EXCITED IN THIS T-SHIRT" that is when you know your day is starting out correctly. The day kind of went down hill from there as I have a cold, and my dad has a cold too, so I felt like throwing up all day, but I made it through because I have alot of glass in my diet.

This reminds me. I just heard this referenced the other day. YOU NEED MORE GLASS IN YOUR DIET. At first I thought it was some sort of Princess Diana reference, but it actually just means YOU NEED TO GET TOUGHER, because tough guys eat glass on a regular bases. This remins me of ANOTHER story that happened down in holts hall, in st joseph, where a dude bit into a glass ashtray and chewed up the glass. This is an actual rumor that I heard when I was around holts hall in 8th grade or so. St. James baby....where we eat glass and we have plenty of glass in our diet!

I hope to get one of my fake articles written for the atchison times tonight. I have a funny idea, but I hope to really write it a couple times. It seems like everything I post up here sucks because I fail to reread it. That is not good enough for me anymore. I want it to atleast make sense.

05/08/11 Happy Mothers day.

75°F
Current: Partly Cloudy
Wind: E at 10 mph
Humidity: 62%

Happy Napkin day! For some reason Josh and Bryce used to call Napkins mothers. Which brings me to a random next statement. I never really sat with Josh, Scott, or that crew at lunch. I remember eating with Sam mostly because we never ate much. I was always slow down to the breakroom. That was sweet that we could lift weights at lunch. Looking back I should have ate a protein bar then lifted weights or something. I am heading over to the K soon. Looks like billy butler has the day off.

Just got back from the game. Everyone escaped without getting hit in the head with a ball. It was me Cortland, Sheree, my Dad, my mama, and I. Hosmer can hit a baseball

May 7th 2011

61°F | °C
Current: Mostly Cloudy
Wind: S at 5 mph
Humidity: 83%


Well Hosmer didn't win the game yesterday, but he did show a good eye. Baseball and in life, it can take years to adapt to things. I woke up with somethings to do today. I would like to start writing again for the book series Jayme came up with "EIKIL" I have some copies to make. As long as I do an hour of work on "EIKIL" today I will feel fine. Tomorrow is mothers day. My mom is loving, funny, and sometimes crazy. I love her and she takes great care of my family. Yesterday was a challenge just because I was excited about Hosmer but I had to take care of somethings. Then when I finally got to see the game, I was pretty warn out. I am not getting cheated though, during the days, I have felt pretty darn good. That is because I mostly eat Tuna and Vegetables. Sometimes I eat birthday cake in there as well. I forgot what this was on but that reminds me of a joke.

Person 1: what is your favorite cake!
Person 2: Birthday Cake
Person 1: that is not a type of cake
Person 2: alright then wedding cackae!

Merry Hosmas 05/06/11

The day is here. The very first Hosmas. The day Eric Hosmer was born in a stable with a baseball bat and a first basemens mitt. We have been waiting for this day for years, thank you Royals for finally drafting the right players and over paying them to get them here. We paid Hosmer a ton in the draft. Now we are reaping what we sow. What we sow is a first basemen who is gold glove ready now, and who will hit 40 homeruns eventually and ANCHOR this team for ten years I am very excited. The first of the season I was very leary of the Royals. I thought we were a couple years away. Now Hosmer is here, and he is batting 7th. I am hoping he just makes contact and finds a hole here or there and plays solid defense, he has the skill to be a left-handed Albert Pujols. Vinnie replied to me in txt format with this. "Hosmermania! whats the A's going to do with hosmer runs wild on them?" That is a good question. Remember when David Dejesus was our best player. He would be the 8th best right now. Lets go Royals. Lets Indeed. Go Royals.

LET THE HYPERBOLE BEGIN!!!!

I just Googled Babe Ruth. It said, "Are you sure you didn't mean Eric Hosmer?"

I just LIKED Eric Hosmer on my facebook. It also suggested me "like" the Alpha and Omega

just typed in Eric Hosmer on Yahoo and it suggested me this. Results for Eric Hosmer Did you mean to put "Will ERIC HOSMER HIT 1100 homeruns?"

I just googled in "What gun was used to kill Osama" Hosmers throwing arm was the first 10,000 links

After work May 5th 2011

I never experienced this in St. Joseph. Possibly because there is more traffic on renner after work than anywhere in St Joe, but man if it rains, the stoplights are always backed up. I understand if it snows, but it was just wet out. I took my time and made it home safe and sound. I was able to play some guitar and drums when I got home. I not only got to practice, but I was also able just to play. I always want to feel like a kid again, but I never do anything like when I am kid. So when I am feeling silly I will play some air guitar and dance around in my work slacks just for a taste of the old days. I then watched my favorite show Parks and Rec. I indeed will start to use my old phone. It is solid but old. I was able to play drums for 15 and minutes or so I basically played 3 minutes of 16ths and then just hodge podge of 8th with some playing around on the high hat with a Rll LLr fill. Sounded ok. I transfered it over to my mp3 player. I then did some laundry and listened to dire straits. I need to make a reminder to myself, that all my clothes are ready to go, so I can use that time to do something fun. Like go to the dollar tree

May 5th 2011

Weather for Lenexa, KS
55°F | °C
Current: Cloudy
Wind: SE at 4 mph
Humidity: 86%

I posted this in 2006 on Chiefsplanet.com and I love reading it every year


"Happy cinco de mayo From demonpenz!!!. As many of you know this is the
mexican independance day celebrated all over bars and cantina's in mexico. Everyone knows cinco de mayo is the mexican independance day. Loosley translated into english c inco de mayo means. "Mexican Independence day" The reason this day is celebrated is because in 1918 a battle over a cattle ranch started between. the people of New Mexico and Mexico. The Battle lasted eleventeen days and hundreds of people werewounded or killed, even worse some of them died. By the end of the
bloodshed thepeople killed and wounded came to a total of 9 people. To celebrate the victory the mexicans ate the cows and put what is now called Nacho Cheese on the ground beef The traditional meal was topped of by Potatoe ole's that were ordered by Senior taco John. The Cinco de mayo freedom bell was rang 5 times after the celebrationwas over and recieved the nickname Taco bell. In celebration of this
independence day everyone every is encouraged to eat cinco de mayo. "

Drum blog

played drums for 15-20 minutes some swiss drum rolls some FM by steely dan. thatis about it

changing metaphors

My brain can't reconize real from fake, so when I say I am "swamped" or "slammed" when
I am busy. My brain really thinks those are happened. I change my words or what
I am writing to I am "Facing a challenge" then it makes me feel like I am running
up steps like rocky. That is how you produce results. That is how you produce
cold hard awesome!

Dollar Tree

I bought $34.97 worth of food with some cups and sunscreen. I ate 15 meals off of that. That is an average of 2.26 cents per meal mostly of Tuna and vegetables. mmmm delicious

Dollar Tree

May 04 2011

Weather for Lenexa, KS
48°F | °C
Current: Sunny
Wind: SE at 8 mph
Humidity: 56%



Woke up today. Felt pretty good. Alittle bit like I may have a cold, but champions don't care they have a cold, they go out and deliver cold hard awesome! Awesome for everyone. GSD. Get Shit done! Yesterday my buddy David wanted me to go to Social D. I don't like going to concerts anymore. I would rather just get the dvd an hang out on my couch and drink some freshly brewed ice t. It took me awhile to start acting on things I like to do and things I don't like to do. Example, I have tried to cut back going to Royals games because I only seem to come out of there angry at something. I can watch them at home and then read something spiritual like Emmet Fox's Sermon on the Mound. Then get some rest and come out ready to deal aces to the world. This is a key point to me and I suspect other people do the same thing, they go to Ballgames, they go to concerts, they do a bunch of things that everyone else does, and they leave miserable, but they don't do anything to change it. Half the time I see pictures on facebook and I wonder if the person just took that picture and uploaded it because that's what "Normal" people do" that same person probably spent 50 hours ironing this week, and they didn't take a picture of that even though that is probably their real highlight of the week. Which brings me to my next point. I think it is important to write down how you are feeling ever couple of hours so you can start to have hard facts about what makes you happy or makes you feel silly. I used to have this lie in my head that I hated going to "the store" turns out it is a nice little break to go to dollar general and by 10 dollars worth of tuna, or by a bunch of fake crows. I bet my dad bitches about mowing the lawn, but if he wrote down how he was feeling every time he was mowing the lawn he would say, Man I feel pretty good! This lawn mowing stuff is like cold, hard awesome!

Gas blog

I going to start logging how much I spend on gas and try to log my friviolus stuff to see where I can cut back May 2nd I spent $17.10 on gas. I also spent 5 dollars at taco bell. I could have been eating some Ramon and saved 4.75. putting that towards my gas money.

05/03/11

Justin Morneau does infact have brain damage. He said that any time he used his brain after his concussion it made it worse. So everytime he played ncaa 2k8, anytime he watched tv, or microwaved popcorn his brain got worse. I feel bad for the guy. He used to hit them into the bullpen like an automatic bullpen hitting machine, now he has brain damage and he will probably be playing for the Carolina Mudcats soon.

I ate some veggies today and that helped me power up and get through the day like a bawwwssss.

Osama is dead, and it is hard to stay out of facebook fights, because I am bored and I hate actually trying to better myself at night. So when I feel like I am going to post something stupid. I need to get on yahoo.com and look up some nba stats or something.

JohnMc: Hey Raymont what are you doing?
Raphael: Taking some pills
JohnMc: for what?
Raphael: Trying to prevent MAMBA MANIA!

May 2nd 2011

Let me start off by saying I stayed up until 2 am watching Osama TV, I then preceded to take a PTO because 4 hours of sleep and a long day of work sounded like a horrible idea, especially since I have some PTO to use. So I called in and the first 2 hours of sleeping were glorious. I have been grinding my teeth when I have been sleeping, usually this happens when I am stressed, and with Jayme dying and the place I hang out after work being burned, I have been a little bit stressed. It is pretty nice that even on my days off that are devoted to just doing nothing, I still get some stuff done. Deposited a check, paid rent, wrote some jokes. Played some Williams pinball, went for a walk. The royals are playing bad ass, but the twins are playing really bad. I am pretty sure Justin Morneau has brain damage from a concussion last year

ncaa 2k8
Fresno State went up against Idaho state in Ncaa 2k8 my pg blair went 9-19
at the 3 point line. The center Giddens had 19 with some rebounds.
I am still trying to recruit this 7'2 guy on recruit mode. I really
fall in love with the 3 point ball because it is fun to jack up shots like Jimmer
fredette or AJ Miljavic in 7th grade

May 1st 2011

Didn't feel as groggy as I ususally do today. That is probably because I forced myself to go to bed before my ususal routine falling asleep with an xbox controller in one hand and funyons on my lap. I wrote this joke today thinking about how crappy Jesus Peeps had to be feeling after he died on good friday

The apostles were down after Jesus was gone, but guess who came back ready to party on the third day? That's right it was Jesus! Easter....the original Sunday Funday.

I played softball. I got somewhat frustrated because it was pickup softball and everyone kind of sucked. No one knew who's turn it was everyone was jacking around, kids were playing. I had a bad attitude alittle bit, but I made it through. I ate tuna with jalapanos and crackers for lunch. Baked some chicken for tomorrow, I hope I remember to bring vegtables to work because I need to power through monday like a bawsssssss