Fresh Start for the new year

New Years is going to be fresh start this year. New slate and time to work towards those mental, physical, and spiritual goals. I am already up and listening to motivational music to kick 2013 square in the dick. Yesterday we went up to black dog, we hung out with some girls from K-State. They were boring, but what do you expect, they don't exactly serve booze and cocaine at the black dog. Becca shaved her head completely bald which is weird, but hey this is America, if you want to be weird we won't do anything crazy to you like stoning you to death or making you watch Matt Cassel throw a 5 yard out. Chiefs had a horrible year, but now they get to clean house. If they don't clean house I am probably not going to think about the chiefs again until 2014 or whenever. Go Royals, Mizzou, Hawks, Penguins, Mavs, Pacers, and of course Sporting KC. 75 more days until SKC gets the ball rolling by the way.

Saturday Night and Sunday morning

Saturday night I continued to improve my relationship with Jason, T-Bone, and Adam. Adam recorded the KU game and we ordered pizza and watched Reliford dunk with his hand behind his head. It was glorious night for Ole KU. I think that KU will make the Sweet-Sixteen, but they might go undefeated in the Big-12. They are awesome. I hope the I was able to wake up and head to the gym (I am going to get my money's worth damnit!) It was ok. The GYM is always a special place to me. It is where those special winning seasons of LEBLOND came from. Hard Work, determination, and holding Getting blind sided by MATHOUUUUIEEE. Chiefs close out a loss today so they get the #1 draft pick.

Growing as a person.

On Friday well I was pretty sick. I was running a fever, but I still had time to run up to the black dog to meet with my friend "K". "K" is a young dude who really is putting in time and effort to grow as a person. I went over to a blonde haired lady named Jess. She wasn't what I was looking for, but I asked her to meet us at starbucks after black dog had closed. She agreed. So I set up K and Jess on an instant date. I have a knack of hooking people up and it felt good to have the skills to pull something like that off. Great night over all and it made me feel like the work I put in talking to every random person off the street paid off.

Saturday I woke up and went to 24 hour fitness. I signed up to meet with a personal trainer. I wore jeans. He was alittle bit like "WTF?" but I told him I will put in the work nessessary to be Elite He put me through hell and it was worth the effort I put in just to have someone watch me do the weight equipment because my form was sucking. The only thing I did wrong was I would like to have more work with a trainer as I am willing to do anything to become as healthy as I can be. My effort was up to my standards. It was nice to have a person to say good job after all my lifts. I like to anchor good positive feedback with working out.

That is about allI have to say. Feeling a little bit better and just because I am sick doesn't mean I can't go lift some weights and hook up my friends with girls.

Born Rich

I love to watch seminars on youtube. I am watching Bob Proctor's "Born Rich" basically the same stuff I always have learned. You want to be successful follow someone's plan and ideas that are successful. Keep a motto or a vision with you at all times through your day. Help others..... the power of your mind is awesome that is for sure. I love learning and I think that is a great thing even if I don't always apply what I learned. One thing he talked about and I need to bite the bullet on this one day...is to actually have a financial pro go over your money. You only get so many hours on this earth and I don't think I have the time or energy to really learn about money management in depth. One thing I do know is that if you have money, make sure you save it, because you vehicle costs money to keep on the road. I have been playing fifa 13. I played the crap out of fifa 12 and I am glad I did so. Fifa 13 is very similar and it was easy to jump in and start being that some ass.

I had a good Christmas. I got great gifts and I love everything I got. If you are nice to others you certainly get paid in gifts that is for sure. My dad and I watched the Lakers V Knicks game. It was a good game.

Effort

Michael Jordan, Tiger Woods, Wayne Gretzky...and Ann Hathaway? That lady I heard about killed herself for a part in some lame musical. That is what you call paying the price

Good for her. I also hear in this musical that Maximus and Woloverine both sing for hours.

Cool

Friday-Saturday-Sunday-Monday

Friday was ok. I met a new guy "K" he is 21 and he wants to take some tips how not to be scared of going up to people and talking. I explained my 6 months of comedy and my dedication to Not caring what people think

I thought that went well and he is a smart young man. Dare I say his life is going to be off the chain

I took my mom to the Chiefs game and it was very fun. She had handicap parking sticker and we had free tickets including a parking pass. It went about as good as it can go. I saw botty, his girlfriend, and my old roomate dave. I told Dave that I owe him an amend for all the food I ate of him and he told me a story about me cooking up a bologna burrito. I felt sick on Monday and today on Christmas I fell good. I will probably go into more detail later.

Striking while the IRON is hot. Acting when you think about an Idea.

It was crappy out today. A thought came to my mind...if I want to take my physical body to the next level I may need to sacrifice money. I was thinking the next level of improving myself maybe getting a personal trainer. I love attempting to start and COMPLETING things. So I wrote it down got off work. I had some energy and I was messing around doing nothing and I thought to myself "I should run up to the Y since I have energy and see if I can get a 3 month pass." My first thought turned to fear. Oh man I don't want to spend energy getting up there, I don't want to spend the money, bla bla bla bla. I know for a fact my brain wants me to be a lazy asshole. So I took action and went up there. It turns out the Y express was changing ownerships. So I can't really get a pass to the new place, but I was able to work out there for free until the new ownership takes over. It is always important to check out surroundings just to get used to everything. So I am thankful I have the knowledge to take ACTION when I have an idea. I am thankful it worked out and I got a bit of a workout in. I always think to myself I don't care what it takes...time money or energy...you do not want to break the momentum of working out on a regular basis. What goes in motion stays in motion and what is a fat ass takes a shitload of energy to be not a fat ass. So today was one of those turning points where I could have leveled out, but I realize the sacrifices it takes to be elite at something. It takes time money energy...blood sweat and tears. I am thankful I had the desire and vision to create a better life for myself. I didn't get a personal trainer but hey..I got up..I got out..and I got me some action!

My jeep did good in the snow. It is 4-wheel drive, but that doesn't stop lots of people ending up in a ditch. I tried to be as patient as I could and go even 10 percent more patient. It was just a crap day out, but I am proud of Americans. we get up, we get out, and we get us some action.

Thursday

It is Thursday morning and it is horrible out. This really shows who wants to earn dollars and who wants to stay at home and be a wussbag. I am going to do everything I can to get out to work and grow a bit. This country has some tough people in it. I think that even though we aren't as a great power as we once were, there are still 16 year old kids that get up and go out into the snow to cook breakfast at Mcdonald's for me. Random thought of the day. I once talked to Bruce Lee... he was a bad ass. I said Yo Bruce, how do I become as awesome at kicking ass with you. He had a class of coffee and a class of water. He said his knowledge was like the water, mine was the coffee, he said I want to give you my knowledge, but it doesn't fit, you have too much coffee in your cup. So I understood him and I knew that I needed to get rid of my coffee to get some water. This was a metaphor that Bruce Lee always used to teach. I don't know why he couldn't get to the freaking point faster, but I mean he kicked Kareem-Abdul-Jabaar's ass in a movie once. I am not going to argue with him. So bottom line is you have to drink less coffee and be willing to use new ideas to keep growing. You also have to trash the crappy ideas.

Ben Mclemore needs to be drafted by the Pacers. He is off the chain.

People picking on Gerald Butler. "Gerald Butler's infomercial about getting ripped is actually an advertisement for Photoshop 10"


Ok I feel pretty good today. I have 18 hours of work until the weekend. That makes me feel good. My plan is to work as hard as I can and 20% farther than that. That is pretty much my life plan all the time. Work as hard as you can until you are about ready to pass out, then go back to work, then when you want to yell and scream and throw your computer out the window, you may have reached your limit. Then go 1% more than that. When you get home and you don't think about your job/craft/hobby anymore you know you pushed yourself to the limit in beyond. I remember several times in college like I didn't want to see some of my books again. I don't even think I turned them back in to get my 40 bucks or whatever. I just walked out of class after the final and was like. "Peace out Algebra I" and I threw that garbage into the trash. Then I broke a TI-83 calculator over a freshman'ss face.

Claudio Bieler

Bieler....Claudio

I feel like #SportingKC needs some of the rest of the league to fall down a peg for them to win the cup. Like the aging Pistons in the nba.

Entertaining new Ideas

I am always open to try new ideas. I know my brain is set up to be a middle class white guy, so I am always open to see if there is better way to do it. Sometimes this can be painful when some of your awesome ideas (or at least you thought were awesome weren't so awesome after all. That is kind of where I am at right now, just trying to get feed back on what to think and what to do in some area's in my life. It will all work out as long as I have a vision of what I want to do. I always state what I want. I will do it again 100K per year, socially elite, giving back, tougher and better person. I want these things because it would be fun and it would be fullfilling to give back most of the money I made. Sporting KC signed some dude that supposed to be awesome. I always want to write up a ton of crap about sporting kc and the offseason moves but when I sit down to type. I am like ugh...I want to focus on the main visions and goals, that is all I have the energy to type out.

Open Mind

Having an open mind means that you will throw away your most cherished ideas once a new one comes along.

I don't know where my "Eric Berry" dino pissing on Tim Tebow Dino picture is at so this masterpiece will have to do.

What can I say about yesterday. Sundays haven't been good to me, it always feels like I have the flu or something on Sunday. I have been sober for two years and I really feel that it is unfair that I feel hungover, but I stayed up late as hell on Saturday. So I understand why I was feeling groggy. I had two more girls flake on me which isn't a big deal. I had one girl "Stephanie" who I thought liked me, she was very bratty to me, but as soon as I stood up to her and then I showed to her my hair under my beanie cap, she gave me her number. It is all good, when you go out dancing and you get ladies numbers I don't expect them to be upstanding citizens, they are off the chain. Pam this other girl that I had a date with she flaked on a second date. That one threw me for a loop, but you know girls are fickle beasts. I had exactly nothing invested in this ladies so it was all good. I am proud of myself for getting out of my comfort zone and dancing and asking girls for dates. That is truly pushing my limits. I am one of the few people who likes to go out and talk to everyone. I never know what kind of stuff I am going to say. Sometimes it provides a huge laugh when a girl tells me to shave and I ask right back? My balls? I shaved them this morning. Everyone in the applebees got a good laugh at that one. I have been doing good today. I am just proud I am getting up and getting out. This last month of the year has been a bear, but I am doing my best to do my best.

The key to dancing.

So I have a new hobby. It is moving around like an idiot burning calories. I have discovered it is fun and it takes my mind off of things. It also helps me not care what people think. Anyway if people have anxiety about dancing here are tips. "everyone sucks" pretty much so. So it doesn't matter what you do just keep moving. Also there was a nice crazy black guy that could dance well that showed me some tips. He said when the dance floor is empty you can walk around and dance. He actually put his arms around me and it was a special moment. It was actually strange because I look at dancing in a new light now, because all this time I have been "That dude" coming out and doing a dance move for 4 seconds and leaving. Basically looking like a mockery to people who dance for hours a week. Now I have about 7 hours of dancing in I am starting to notice the dude who comes out for 10 seconds and leaves. So it has been good learning and growing and trying new things. It is nice to do this sober as well so I can feel the painful way it feels awkward, because that is how everything feels when you are not used to it. So it is all good man. Get out there and do something.

Stuff

Random picture time!

I can only guess this is a bomb shelter in "Fairway" Kansas. Fairway Kansas is in the Plaza area of KC. I guess this is to protect people from spikey haired polo'd dudes giving high fives down at the brooksider.

Whew

I am glad this week is over. I am pretty proud how everything has went down. Yesterday people weren't getting much down because of the shootings and Christmas stuff, but I stayed on task. There is only so much that I can control and one thing I have learned is I can't get wrapped up to the BS that goes around me. I can strive to be empathetic and sympathetic to the people around me, but lots of times what really makes me an adult is the fact that I stay on task even while everyone is off the chain. I did some dancing yesterday with friends which is fun. It really tests how much I really care how I look. There is a simple need for me to get out burn calories and talk. It is nice to do this and act like an idiot. It is a surprise when people find out that we are sober, but it isn't really that amazing since as a group my friends and I try to care less what people think and focus on having a good time. One thing that is awesome is that if you are willing to dance you will get instant dates. Most males don't like to dance because they care how they look and I have danced in a mirror and I look silly. That isn't the point though, I am out there to burn calories and talk and that is what I got done. My legs are sore from doing the cabbage patch and the tootsie roll. I don't really know what I am up to today. I got to cash a check, I am also glad that I got 3 loads of laundry done last week. I can recover this weekend. I am catching the Manchester City (not to be confused with Manchester United) game. It is a nice soccer treat for me this morning. So right now my head is pretty proud that I plowed through this last week and that I was able to go out yesterday and be silly and have some fun.

Girl: I have a son turned 1
Ray: I used to have a nephew that was 1
Girl: Aww I'm sorry...what happened?
Ray: He turned two..

Working through a funk.

I often get into funks and my brain can lie to me. I get in self-pity and I also get into believing in shit that is not true. Luckily I have been through this and I know how to get to the other side. I always have gratitude on my mind. There are people in detox centers struggling with drugs, there are homeless people, there are white Jewish guys trying to dance. THERE IS SOMEONE OUT THERE THAT HAS IT WORSE. I also love this country and that I am not in jail. Sometimes the growth that is out there is just not doing anything to make things worse. When I write out the way I want to be there is a goal of KEEPING MY MOUTH SHUT and working hard. If I was to carve out my legacy hard work and not yapping so much would be apart of it. So my funks/depression do last very long. It was a couple days and I still managed to get some things done. I also didn't have to make amends. I rarely fly off the handle and if I do I am quick to make an amend. It really is amazing that I can get stuff done even when I am feeling crappy. I remember in college when a random slore would dump me I would go into days/weeks/months of being drunk and not being productive. Luckily with the help of God I seem to be handling my emotions better. Of course I can go back to being a wuss bag at anytime if I quit taking action and praying. The thoughts and actions of the St. Francis prayer is always one that has real life benefits with spiritual benefits. If I strive to love and not be loved it takes the focus on what I am feeling and puts the focus on action on the others. It helps me through the tough times. I can focus my attention by writing, talking, and listening to different stories than the B.S. that my mind plays. I actually have affirmations and gratitude lists that are anchored that my mind when left alone will kind of default to. All this stuff helps me from warping myself into a bad mood, or if I am in a bad mood...it helps get it back on track. I am glad my family talks to me. My aunt sent me some money the other day and I meet people in real life that their family hates them. So this has been all over the place but the message is always the same. Thoughts becomes things and if you aren't working on your thoughts you are probably screwed.


Redhair lady. I had a meetup with a girl on my birthday that seemed to go well. She hasn't texted me since then, and she may not want to see me again, but I am glad that I had fun. I guess I will go into a rant about the young pups out there. Young guys...get into the habit of using your phone to see girls, not just text them all the time. You will get friend zoned if all you do is txt dumb texts to each other. Also the only weapon guys really have is walking away V-Foundation always makes points, but he in-directly touched on the biggest thing guys can have in their favor is the ability to walk away.!!!!!! Woman or no woman we will be happy. "nexting" a girl for being off the chain is a way to grow and to keep moving forward to finding a special mate and not one that is going to make you buy 10 cats and have season tickets to the ballet.

RanyOnTheRoyals

Man someone call the Wahhhhhhhbulance for this guy. I love Rany and he truly helped me understand the stats of baseball better, but he went off the deep end on this Shields trade. Royals are actually trying to win something in the Majors. Sit down...make yourself a sandwich, and enjoy the idea that we are trying to win.

Wednesday

Today was a bit of "What in the hell?" I started off the day just not wanting to do anything, but I always try to go 20% farther than I can. So if I want to not go to work, I try to atleast get to work and see how I feel, then I try to work as long as I can. I got some Christmas shopping done and I didn't really feel great about that, but it could always be worse. I think my dad went to the doctor so I said some prayers there. I just know that life is about doing small tasks over and over. People, places, and things are mostly out of my control. I can just try to stay focused on being an adult, making healthy choices, and not beating myself up. I also tried to focus on what it would be like to be homeless. Gratitude is an important part of my health. I enjoyed the warmth and smallness of my apartment and enjoyed a podcast or two I am glad that I have atleast a vision of who I want to be so when things outside of me are off the chain I can make choices (Like getting Christmas shopping done NOW not LATER) so it can set me up for success and happiness. I met another girl yesterday named Pam. She seems to be more in-line of a girl that I would like long term. She likes SKC and seemed to dig my jokes. She shut me down big time when I went in for a kiss, but I wasn't really thrown off about it, since it is 5th time in a couple weeks a girl has denied me a kiss. In retrospect I probably should have told her it was my birthday, that would have gotten me a smooch for sure, but ya know...everyday is husslin'!!! Tonight I will probably just drink coffee and focus on the good in my life. I live in America, I am not in jail, and I can throw a swing pass better than Matt Cassel.

goals for my 32nd year on this planet.

I still want to make 100k although I really need to spend more time starting a plan. I want to be an elite player as far as social status goes. What doe that look like? Beig invited to gatherings and sporting events and also creating events and parties. I have a talent for bla bla bla talking to people and I would like.to cultivate that.to the point that I get invited to cool events with cool people. I have a goal to make it to Europe this year and to grow and pray. I don't know what I can do to really set a spiritual goal, but I definitely want to thank God.for my life.and.the start of my day and thank him for the day that was at the end. I really strive to be a better nerd and listen to more video game podcasts. I take some joy in knowing what the podcasts over 1up are about. A goal again this year is to watch more sporting KC because they are boss and hey I want to watch the Royals again this year. The more I write today the more I realize how much crap I really did this last year. I really got out and my passion for sports helped other people get out. I really enjoyed Nascar and hopefully I can get a good old 238 party going when NASCAR comes around again. Soaking of NASCAR news the new cars in NASCAR.really are more speaking to the eyes. I wish there was an artistic goal that I want to go after that was easy to quantify,but it is hard to set a goal in comedy. Maybe my jokes will get 1,000 "likes" or.something.

who you texting? Barak?

Tell him to get his shit together. This line is gold for starting conversations and provides hours and hours of me showing my improve skills from there. I just talked talked to a girl at Broadway cafe and she thought it was the funniest thing ever. She was cuuute. Natalia.

Birthday

I am 32 today. Yeah! Old balls.....Social Security....! I don't feel any different. The only thing I remember is when I was 29 I got into an tift with this lady at work. I was trying to come out of my partying days and into more of an adult phase and I was very fussy. I work by this lady now and I think we are cool. I have changed and been squeezed in a thousand directions since I was 29 all for the best. Tough times don't last but tough people do. Yesterday night was a bit off the chain. Jason and T and I were hanging out at the black dog. I felt like crap because it has been a long couple of days. We were just really in goof off mode as it felt like I was running on 2 hours of sleep. I am just glad we are not in jail and we are not making our lives worse. My thinking is ok, it is just that this is a rough patch all around. Christmas has always been sucky not so much because of the music or how busy places are, it is a combination of everything. Especially that I am always out of Paid Time off so I have to grin and do my best for the last weeks. I did go up to talk to a girl yesterday at the black dog, even at my worst I can still muster up the guts to walk over and call a girl "Batman" and ask where her "batbelt" is at. Man I am struggling just to write this I am going to try to for better thoughts later on tonight when I hopefully have more energy.

Character building/you can't please everyone

Sunday I knew was not going to be great. I had lots of laundry to do and I got through that. It was lots of work. I also cleaned. I watched the Chiefs lose and I tried my best not to pig out on crap while I watched NFL. I had a "Date?" at 5 with a lady I barely knew. She dressed up and she met me at the black dog. I exchanged some basic questions and then I dragged her to play big buck hunter next door. She liked me for some reason early in our time together, but I don't know what the hell was up because she bounced early. I thought good thoughts like "oh well still got some time left Sunday to watch football" and "meh lets move on" I did though feel pain even though my thoughts were good. Those are the standard lumps I take because I am out and about. Later on I was at black dog and I met a verrrry nice girl named "J" then my friend "Hillary Swank" threw a wrench in my talking to this girl. Hillary Swank is very well known to interfere with the boys talking to girls at the black dog. So it was just one female after another just not being very cool to me. I told my friend Adam, I would rather females treat me bad in here than have it out in the world were I am trying to get paid. It was a lesson on how to act cool and not react to other peoples crap. The only person I really let know I was sweating was Adam because I wanted to check myself to make sure I wasn't giving out obvious signs of how displeased with the world I was yesterday. So overall it was a good experience because the more I get in situations where people are rude to me, the more I can handle it with class and grace. Monday was not good. Everything was not good all the way through exept for the fact that I was able to work out hard jogging for 20 or 30 minutes on lunch and go for a walk before work. That is the good thing about working out is you can control your effort. So my thoughts after a couple of these days were shit isn't all great is simply that it is a chance to build my character. The situations aren't horrible, I am not in jail, or homeless, or a Matt Cassel. So I actually have a good chance of building for a better future starting right now.

Royals news: I don't care if Mickey Mantle was in right field. The Royals need pitching to win. I am glad we are using our minors finally to improve the majors. People are going to bitch and moan like Rany, but whatever. Don't care...Go Royals.

progress not perfection and KU game

Saturday rolled around and I rolled around out of bed. I went for a walk which was ok. I then tried to get the jeep washed, but the car wash machine was taking the day off. I did get to pick up some coffee sleeves and some of the nacho bugles out of my jeep. I then cleaned myself up to head to Lawrence. The plan was to take my dad to the KU game. My sister always hooks me up with a ride to the game. It was supposed to be a close game because Colorado had a good record, but it was a complete ass beating. Ben Mclamore had a big game as did Kevin Young. Mclamore if anything shot too much. The atmosphere was great as it was a packed house and it was loud as all get out. I was very surprised and happy about how rowdy it was because I have been to games where the students were on christmas break, where it was a very lackluster atmosphere. Jayhawks look good, not great. So that was good. This next part demonstrates my growth as a person and my work on being right with the world. After the game we were trying to get to my sisters car and I walked right out in front of traffic. A police Lady yelled at me to watch out. Now my 21 year old wanted for me to call her a Witch and explain to her how I pay her salary. The Truth is I messed up and she was trying to save my life. I told her thank you and thanks for her service. Military people EMS people etc all get the due thanks but cops only get yelled at. So what I learned is that it is ok to make mistakes. I run at a pretty high level these days as far as going out and being active, so me looking like an idiot is going happen. The key for me is just to admit mistakes and focus on the next thing. That is not easy to do because emotionally you feel all out of sorts, but what I can do is tell myself "What is the next right thing to do?" "Where can I be of service?" So the day went well and I got lots of Sporting KC stuff and a Royals T-Shirt that my mom got signed by Zack Grienke. My dad had it framed it looks pretty sweet in my apartment. So overall I feel good and I am thankful for the fun weekend.

Random Girl meetup. The other day I was walking and I saw this girl that was very attractive. She was probably a 7 or 8...so I go up to her and I go "Who are you texting?....you texting Obama?...Tell him to get his shit together!" So she laughed and I do what I call "Popping the eyes" were you let it be known with eye contact that you are Man who is here and confident. She starts giving me crap about everything, so we banter and she says "Sorry for treating you this way, it is probably why I am single" so I am like O.K. she likes me, I showed her that I am not a wuss and I will stand here all day and not put up with her insult B.S. She also said that she lived "close" to here. Didn't phase me, so I tried to get her to go to the restaurant I was going to but she busted my balls about how I was going the wrong way. So the conversation was dying out so I tried to give her a kiss goodbye and instead I got a hug, now this hug went on for a very long time. It was a very nice hug. I gave her my number and told her if she was interested to let me know. So that was a nice moment in my life and I asked my friend T if she thought I could have done anything better to get a second date or an instant date, we all agree though she kinda sounded like a hot mess, and I should accept the moment as a great moment and not feel bad about it. My main point here is that I want to get down on my blog fun and memorable moments in my life and this was a good one for me.

trash in and trash out.

One of my friends Steve sent me an email with things that were supposed to be challenging my mind. At this point in my.life I would rather focus on positive things and things that focus my actions on giving. My job and my life already exhaust me I don't to be debating this or that. It is thoughts and energy that could be directed on streamlining my clothes cleaning process. Right now my laundry situation is a bit out of control. I need to get some loads done on Sunday. I am watching Paul Pierce score 24 points on the Doug Collins coached 76ers. Come on Doug, Pierce is 56 years old. Your teams defense sucks pig dicks. I haven't wrote about skc for awhile. They don't have the fire power up top.to be top of the table, but they are still good. Julio Ceaser, Espinoza and Harrington are leaving the team... Matt beasler. is staying with SKC. He is defending player of the year and he has wrote more #1 hits than Neil Diamond. Kei Kamara Zusi Saad Teal Bunburry CJ Sapong Uri Spanish Guy Aurellian Collin Chance Meyers Nagamura Larry Olum should be back. MAYBE WITH THE GALAXY LOSING DONOVAN AND BECKHAM SKF CAN WIN IT ALL????

Same Stuff different day

I hear "Same stuff different day" sometimes. It is in a negative fashion sometimes. To me I think that saying describes greatness. Consistency in my life has been a real reason I have grown. I don't care what naysayers say, I don't care what I have to do, I don't care I am feeling. I have tasks to get done, and growth to be had. I will keep growing, pushing, and changing my life. It is weird how that solid foundation of work has made people attracted to me more. People will be like bla bla bla I can't do this this weekend and that. I will tell them cool..because I know in my mind I have goals of working to clean my apartment, listen to Anthony Robbins tapes, work on my nba2k12 character. I have plenty of things that I am driven to do and the outside world isn't going to stop me. Of course you got to be flexible, but in the main sense you really have to know who you are and what you need to do. Work is the key to success. Onto this weekend. I have the KU game on Saturday and I will probably just be working to become better in between there. I have to get coffee on Sunday, but everything else is up in the air. If I am stuck on what to do I usually go to the Plaza just because there is coffee and random stuff to do there.


Random stuff. Art fair people have to wear black, there is a perubian drink called a matte, David Glass is a cheap old fart, Kobe Bryant scores a ton of points, Harrington from SKC is going to Portland and Roger Espinoza is going to Wigan in the EPL.

Wednesday

Wednesday was pretty good. People always text stuff and try to get me off task. Now if it is Byrd or V-Foundation I will gladly exchange stats about Caron Butler and the L.A. Clippers, but if it is from people just being people. I got no time for that. One part of getting better and better is you have to not let other people get you off your main task. I did a good job not getting involved. I hid my phone. I said a quick prayer. "God direct my thinking" I then had to put aside my sick brain for a second. I know me...My brain loves drama and excitement. It craves wild ass texts and situations, but that is not what a person who is good at their job does. So I told myself. I don't care how boring or painful it is. I am going to get back to my boring task, because that is what an Adult Male does. So I went back to work and it was pretty painful and wasn't fun. I know from reading that is how you get the job done though. You focus in on small tasks over and over and over. Then you make it rain money!!! I told "The Elder Statesman" about the situation because I wanted to reinforce how important it is not to get caught up in a texting situation when you have to stay on your main purpose. My purpose is always the same "Be of service in whatever situation you are in" Speaking of being of service...I was in the car the other day and I had high anxiety...and I prayed to God "Help me be of service" The answer that came down was "Why don't you watch the road and not run into anyone, that might be of some service " So that just proves anywhere anytime you can always be of service and it provides you an activity to keep off of bad stuff like getting aids or Shawn Marion's Jump shot.

I am going to provide you this next information because the younger generation has to know this. Dating is dead...the new school is going to be you get an instant date. You walk around and if you find girl you see if she sends you signals and you sit down and get a 15 minute date then. Then you can get a day 2 later. If she is making solid eye contact and playing with her hair go for a kiss fast as possible. See if she likes you or not. If she pulls away laugh as hard as you can and keep moving forward. I have found that if you get a fast kiss then it is on, if she pulls away it's on, if she throws tabasco in your eyes. It's really on. This was a break through in my life because I am funny and random so I can't tell if a girl is laughing because she is into me or because I am funny. Now going for the kiss early sets the record straight. It's always on....Everyday in everyway I am getting better and better. Later.


Random things

Girls: Ray you dress like you just buried a dead body. How many bodies do yo think you could bury in a day?
Ray: Depends if they are kids...

accepting some boredom

One of the secrets to life is how to handle boredom. I struggle with doing the right things when I am bored. I understand that boredom is a chance to take correct action and be productive. I strive to always add to the stream of life and not take from it. Sometimes though you are just in a situation like riding in a car or something where you are just going to be bored. I take the time to focus in on the dreams I have and where I am going. Then I repeat those thoughts until I get tired of them. That way it keeps me focused and it doesn't allow my head to go to situations that are not based in reality. I try to also focus in on what can I do better. Even in the moment, better posture, a smile, whatever it maybe. Also sometimes a big stride for a successful life is just not making things worse. Life is a grind and not every moment is a trophy raising experience, but to raise some trophy's you have to put in hard work. Some of that hard work is dealing with boredom. Work is the key to success. Yesterday I did as much as I could and I found myself just staring at the clock at the end of the night. I did my best to focus on NBA games and the Mizzou games. They were really blasting me with excitement, but I tried my best to focus in. I know there are days like that where it isn't exciting, but I do my best to make them fun and not do something dumb by buying crap off of amazon that I don't need. I also try to amuse myself so I don't turn to food for entertainment. So all in all I am working hard and I am clearing out all I can do to have a fun and successful life. MIZZOU...CHRIS HUMPHRIES...OKC THUNDER....

Tuesday

I guess the Mission lighting festival went well. I didn't go but I heard there was a Rocket Powered Santa, Jesus, and fireworks. That sounds about right for the midwest. Surprised Larry The Cable guy didn't flip the switch yelling Git-R-Dun to kick the whole shindig off. Redskins won yesterday. RGIII is beasting. In my growing development I have discovered that if you have any doubt in your mind if you went as far as you could go, you could have cone further....period. One more task, one more conversation, the extra mile. I try not to beat myself up if I didn't go that far, but I like to know when I am pushing the limits or not. I want my conversations to get better. I want my work to get better. I want to be healthier. I want a better life. I also love that little bit extra at the end of your day when you think you can't do one more task, but you say...no way man...I ain't quitting. That is not what a person from St. Joseph does. That ain't then way a Griffon works. Then you go out and you get yourself some success.

Peace out Andy Reid

Vick was a bad signing, Andy Reid can't eat a proper diet let along manage a football team. Kick rocks Reid. Nice win for the Chiefs yesterday. They did their best and it turned out well for them. Jamaal Charles is the greatest running back for the Chiefs ever. Adrian Peterson is beasting. Andrew Luck is off the chain. Lakers are not good early on, and Greg Zurline is a griffon who is beasting for the Lions. I had a good weekend of watching football. The Ravens vs. Steelers game was a slugfest. During all the football watching I was able to get a load of laundry done. So that is good as well. Here comes Monday. I vow to stay focus on my goals. I vow to grow. I vow to go out and get me some success.

Fun week

This week was one of the more fun weeks I have had for awhile. KU game on Monday was off the chain and Friday and Saturday were fun as well. I played Video games around the plaza area for most of the weekend seeing the great lights and great people. With it being nice out it reminded me of New York. The Plaza park was packed and so was the plaza itself. I ran into Seth Sinovic and Chance Meyers at a local Disco. I didn't bug them but they looked in shape. Chance Meyers had a mustache. I didn't bug them because well they are 5 years younger than me and they are probably waiting for some gambling or lady action. Not guy with a hoodie on action. Mo West lost but they made giant strides to get better. They will be a good team as long as Jerry Partridge is there. This team had great weapons all around. Next year Raphael Spencer is going to get carries at RB and look out. He won't be as good as Michael Hill cause Michael was beasting all season, but Raphael will be good. I mean look at him. He has a kick ass name. As for as me growing as a person I think the thing to remember is that if you have a boring spot in your weekend try to say something over and over that is positive and that is about your goals. Then do some jumping jacks or stretch. You have to get positive momentum going. What is at rest stays at rest so if you are going to sit there like the worlds most boring person you tend to stay there. So it is my job to get up and start getting some positive vibes and get the blood pumping. It is my life and I want the most fun as possible. This next work week is going to be challenging as ususal, but as long as I am willing to accept the pain, frustration, and put forth the blood sweat and tears, I will get the job done. If at anytime I am not willing to do those things then I will fail. I am always my worst enemy because I want to quit and feel sorry for myself, but my job is to keep going, keep pushing, if quit for awhile it is get back up and move forward.

Your brain always tells you lies

My brain always wants to be safe. Whew you did that now you can quit because you are happy. Jamie once told me it like this. The trainers job in boxing is to tell the boxer that the canvas is not safe, it may feel safe, but you aren't safe. The safe place is to get up and keep fighting. Today my brain is like that. It doesn't want to push the limits of what I can do because it says "Whew it is Friday, time to kick it!" I won't believe that garbage, the knowledge that I have that "Just kicking it" is the wrong thing to do is what could make the difference between success and failure. When it all comes down to it I want pleasure or I want to avoid pain, so if I through out all the bullcrap excuses my mind makes up (I am tired, you are happy why ruin today?, what will people think, this person or that person sucks,) when I throw out all the excuses I see that there is a pain I don't want to deal with. I made a deal awhile ago that I would take on some pain to be successful. So today I will push my limits and grow and not listen to the crap my mind tells me. No Excuses play like a champion.

Thursday

Yesterday was pretty good. The thing I reinforced in my brain is that...my brain just wants me to survive. It doesn't care that I have hopes in dreams. If I have enough food and shelter it doesn't want to work harder and push and grow. It is my mission to I don't care what my brain tells me. I am working through this. I don't care how much time is left in the day. It doesn't matter, I have no sense of time, all I have is a sense of urgency to get tasks done and a sense of importance to do them correctly. I really try to keep focused on what I want in life. If trash comes into my brain I refocus on the task on hand, or gratitude, or breathing, or how awesome something is. I do have fun though, I was able to rest and watch some hoops yesterday. I haven't seen much of the NBA this year, but I am sure once football is over I will become obsessed basketball some more. Everything is pretty good, I am healthy and I really get excited about how much I can grow and push day in and day out. I really like to imagine what my legacy will be. I am sure it will be to grow and learn. Then apply what you learn and drop the stuff that doesn't work. I think it would be also don't make excuses period. Also don't listen to your brain, it wants you to quit. Listen to mp3's about your dreams, talk and write about what you want, you can control your thoughts if you write and really use energy to focus on the thoughts you want, so don't waste them. Also my legacy would also place importance on being easy on yourself. If you want to be good you cant waste energy on negative emotions. Sometimes you don't get what you want, and thank God things don't go as planned. Life would be boring that way.

Wednesday

Ben Mclemore is off the chain. He had a windmill dunk at the end of the San Jose State game that was one of those moments in American History where everyone stopped what they are doing and turned their attention to his dunking skills. After Speilburg is doing with his Lincoln move he has promised to to do a move about Ben Mclemore...it is going to called "WINDMILLS" it is about Ben Mclemore's love for windmill dunks. It is going to star Jamie Fox and is due out this march.

Back To basics block

My blog is very much the same crap over and over. That is mostly because I always want to keep it simple. Clean house, trust God, help others. If I was to start somewhere teaching a young man how to live I would make him do small tasks over and over and over until he wanted to not do it anymore, then I would force him to do it correctly and right until he passed out. Then after he woke up I would make him do the small task correctly and do it right some more. There are so many things in my life that I have now because I did the correct things correctly in the past. There are so many things that mean more than holding the trophy. It is doing small task correctly and growing in love for the small tasks. I go a walk on my break to keep the habit of working out going, I take time to really think hard the sacrifice I make to just keep that habit ANCHORED in my behavior. While other people are getting off their diet around this time I am making sacrifices to stick with a decent diet and walking. I am always willing to put in my blood sweat and tears to keep growing, and you know I really don't go through that much pain anymore...maybe some frustration here or there, but the key is I am willing to go through the pain, willing to go through the blood, sweat, and tears to keep going towards my goals in life. I also really try to love the process. The destination is never as sweet as the journey. So I do my best to love the journey. I have never been healthier, or happier than I am now. I let so much of my old crap go. It is hard to remember what a nervous wreck I was just a couple years ago. So I continue to grow and I continue to grow my love of the growing process..

KU game and T-Fitness

The KU game was closer than expected. Ben Mclemore continues to shine with highlight reel type dunks and great defense. Whithy had a triple double. I grew as a person by working together to have a good time. My friend Jason was going with a group of 3. Phil, Clay, and Peter. I had 2 tickets and I just wanted to go by myself because I was tired. Jason asks this fitness model to go with me. A female fitness model I might add. I will call her T-Fitness It is really rough having a fitness model on your arm for great KU tickets, but being the strong man I am I was able to work through tough times. Obviously when you have a great body...an ELITE body.. people just stare. So there I am with T-Fitness watching the game and she was cool. We both cheered and she was quiet which is weird for a woman during a sports game. After the game I was chatting up this girl with red hair. Her name was Katie. I always open up with red headed girls the same "Hey...how's that red hair working for you? Are you sunburned?" She laughed. I was telling her "Stay ready so you don't have to get ready" as I said that Scott Pollard walked by. Sweet. Katie was laughing but I think the security guards were getting mad because she was laughing and not paying attention to her job, before some of the hounds came over to break up me and Katie's fling..T-Fitness came out of the bathroom everyone left us alone and bounced. We had a parking pass to this game because of Phil. Jason hooked up me up and I will try not to bitch about life for awhile because it worked out well this day.

My Sports Update

Missouri Western won their game. I was at ease when I saw what kind of offense the other team played. The other team wanted to spread you out and throw the ball 50 times. I felt good about MO WEST being able to defend that because they are athletic. Our team on defense is more about quickness and ball skills than it is about tackling and stuffing the run. The Griffon QB was on fire and Mo West recievers have been catching everything. Northwest lost which means we play on the road. I would have liked to see one more home game with northwest. That atmosphere is bananas. MO Mavricks seem to be playing better. KU is good in basketball and I think Mizzou is as well, but they lost the game I was watching. Texans look good and Notre Dame is in the championship. Sporting KC hasn't made any moves and Jeremy Guthrie got signed by the royals. Royals need grienke, but the Dogers are going to make it rain money for him.

Saturday

Saturday was one of the better days that I have had for awhile. I was able to come home after thanksgiving and relax and try to focus on things that needed to be done. I was going to give back to poor people this year. PEROID END OF STORY. I had a vision of me really wanting to go after giving back the same way dumbasses go after the IPOD CRAP on black friday. It felt good giving back books and things to color to the families of military people. I also gave away some scarves and hats. That left me with a sort of high feeling know that some kid will cure cancer because he now has a toy story coloring book for christmas. After that I played video games. I really am trying to love video games more because I love video games. I just can't seem to get into them anymore. I am sure that if I think about them more I will start to love them more. At night Adam, Tressa, JP, JJ, Johnathan, and Suuze went out dancing and we had fun. I got a number from some girls just for fun. One thing I have going for when I go out is my "Give a care" meter is always down. I have been around enough people that some people may call me "awesome" some people might call me "AN FREAKING IDIOT" it doesn't really change my life. I still put my funyons in my mouth like everyone else does.

thanksgiving and other stuffing

I got my hair cut, my oil changed and my apartment picked up. I was ready for the big day of thanks. We had good food from Ryan's and I did a good job not stealing food in my pockets. In a perfect world I would have nacho cheese and catfish nuggets for consumption. I had a great time and all then NFL games were provided for me to watch all day. It was great to hang out with my mom. I don't see her enough. My mom and I even got together for a picture and I thought it turned out well. It was my nephews birthday. I bought him a video game and it felt good to be able to buy something for him. I feel good about having enough money, time and energy to buy things for people. I am going to cut the blog short today. I grew by completing tasks and going for a walk with my dad. It was important for me to get some sort of work out in so I grow in physical strength and not go backwards.

Off the Hook

Things have been off the hook crazy as of late. I am being of service and I am working. After that my friends hang out. Lately it has been a struggling to even get dinner in me before doing service work for local alcohol rehab places. I stock flyers and talk about where to get help. It has been awhile since I have had time for myself which is good and bad. It is good because I am being of maximum service to this world, but it is bad because I am tired and I do like to watch tv sometimes. The good thing is I still can carve out time to watch football with my dad or watch a half with Jason and Adam before I fall asleep. I have been focused on just not messing things up before thanksgiving. I have lots to be thankful and it can be a challenge to take the attitude of gratitude and to be of service to people. Sometimes when people for the 100th time ask me a question it can get on my nerves, but every time I am helpful to someone it is me growing. People are going to be asking me dumb questions every 5 minutes if I start my own company or become a manager, so I need to grow now to prepare for the day when I am in charge. I have seen how leaders really have to drop their ego and be self-less. You have to really love reviews and the process of getting better. That is one of my deals as well, even if my reviews are good are at work I have to LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE reviews. I have to be a nerd and really see where my area's of fault are so I can put some effort into fixing them. The final goal of course is to have the most fulfilling lifestyle possible. Also if I get good reviews I can get more boats and clothes. Everything has been good like I said, it is just trying to find time to just relax that has been a problem. It is all good. I am growing and I am getting better at life. I am getting tougher. I am not that tough to begin with. My regular state of mind would have me calling in sick to sit in my chair, I have to actively grow my toughness to say "You know what brain? You just want to survive...I WANT TO THRIVE" then I take my pain and I start being of service. If you can't tell yet I really need to talk, breath, write the words "BEING OF SERVICE" it is the only way for me to live. It helps me stop being tense and always consuming things. If I don't know what to do one sure way to get me going is asking the question to myself "Who can I help?" "How can I be of service." Alright have a good thanksgiving everyone.

Saturday and Sunday

Saturday was off the chain. I woke up after a long week of work and got my oil changed. Let me tell you something, I didn't want to get my oil changed, but I wanted to get my haircut and oil changed...whatever it takes to get things done before Thanksgiving. So I got that done. Then I went home grabbed my moms laptop that I fixed and headed to Mo West. Mo West won an epic game that I don't have the energy to get into. It was a 4 overtime game with neither of the teams being able to stop each other. The other team lost because the QB tripped. Awesome. It was great being able to sit on my ass for 5 hours screaming for a team that is awesome. Chiefs are garbage, Mavs lost but KING had a great goal. #2 won Nascar Championship and #24 won a race. Great year for NASCAR. This week is short and I don't know what to think about it. I am just going to stay positive and thankful.

21 things I learned from Jamie

Have to be present to win.
Students are like angels that God sent to you.
There is a God and she is pissed
You always hit what you are trying to avoid.
Even when things aren't ok...they are still ok.
You are not the "Cool dude"
Don't worry about woman..if you don't have aids they will find you.
Jobs=self-esteem.


I will think of more as they come along.

Friday

There is never a good time to do anything once you are elite. It never feels like it is a good time to hit the gym, start a project, talk to a client, talk to a girl, break up with a client, break up with a girl, on and on and on. There is always some B.S. excuse your mind makes up. I am tired, the timing is not right, I am not feeling it, I wish the situation is easier. The fact is you have to get your ass into the gym and work. You have to get out with a client and talk, you have to get out and get some. Talk! grow!! take on some pain!!! damnit!! Do something!! That is my talk for today. I try to jump in and take advantage of a situation that is given and if the opportunities aren't there well change the conditions so there is an opportunity there. The time is always now to take action. Ok whew I feel better. Today I planned on having a fun day with my brain. I was going to take it back to the start and just work up some emotions that were simple. I have water/air/shelter....That is really where I need to start to feel good. You find out what is really important if you are underwater for too long. Suddenly the fact that you aren't making enough money goes way the hell down and your basic need to breath goes to #1. I really worked on Thanking God that I am alive and healthy that I can breath eat and hell to have good toilet paper. That right there generates positive emotions. I really wanted to focus on the great season Sporting KC had. They are in the Champions league for winning the US OPEN CUP. Chiefs are going to get #1 draft pick. KU is looking like a Sweet 16 team with another Big Twelve title a real possibility. Mizzou looks good in basketball, the Mavs are skating around like a bag of balls and doing stuff, the Comets are doing stuff. I really wanted to get down and think think think think about the good things in my life. There has been so much I can't even really get to it. The fact that I can put down information that I want to surround myself with is such a blessing. If I can read, write, and talk about the things that make me feel good, then I will feel good. My Quality of life will be ELITE So that is what I did today. I still worked out and I still grew. I just took some of that focus on BEING THE #1 PERSON OF ALL TIME and put it into growing in gratitude. I think it was a real eye opener when I started to realize I need to forgive myself (again) and forgive other people. I have forgiven myself for lots of stuff over the years, but it was time to forgive myself again. The main thing that I forgave myself for is the fact that it still seems like people are more productive around me. It is ok. The important thing is my burning desire to get better. I can only go out and get some until I am tired, then push myself a bit further, then fall on the ground and pick myself up and get some more. I am just not there yet to the point where I can be productive for 9 or 10 hours in a row. Frankly I don't know if that is something I want. I do know that I want to have a great lifestyle full of wealth and choices. It seems like the people who have choices also have the ability to work long hours with great focus. It is all good though. I am growng, willing to take on some pain, willing to put a smile on my face and be humble. I will get there. I have faith that the natural laws of life will work. Work hard fix your mistakes and success will come your way. This weekend I hope success comes Mo Wests way...they have to win this next game or they will be hitting cosmic bowling at King Hill lanes really early! Alright wrap up time. I grew 1% today in being thankful for the basics. I grew in forgiveness for myself and others. I was able to work up positive emotions and that felt good. Have a good Friday.

Thursday

Thursday was a day I decided to take a warm bath in self-pity. I made it to noon and I started thinking "What is the point?" "I am so far away from my dreams" "I wish I had more time" I know not to stay in that bath too long. No one elite or successful stays in that mood for long. I started to get some good vibes by stating my mission statement " I am here to be of service. I am getting better everyday in every way " I flap my arms and I raise my voice when I am saying this to get some emotion going. I went back to warm and made it through. That is what I do. I grew today just loving myself alittle bit more. I have to hand it to myself sometimes. I can see the bullcrap way I think sometimes and I change it. It is often harder to change my thinking or my attitude than it is to do work or handle people. So all and all it was a pretty good day of growth. I went for a walk after work as well. So I didn't do any heavy lifting, but I may have grown physically by 1% as well. Everyday I try to choose something to learn, something to grown in...today was I love myself just a little bit more. After work I went to Adam and Jason brought treats and coffee. Lucky me. KU won and everyone was joyous. Even Bill Self's Hairpiece got excited. I am lucky these days to have some people to hang out with after work. When I first moved to KC I had no one down here. Now I got V-Foundation, The Birdman Adam, Jason, Cody, Kris Von German, and also the slores at Black Dog!

Nba2k12

I was able to play a game of this NBA game before work. My player is getting better. I got 4 points against the NETS and Kim Kardashions love Forward whatever his name is! I am on the Knicks. Carmello plays no defense. This game is amazingly real.

Enthusiasm

Today I was trudging through the day once again. My head was thinking good thoughts. I was thinking how it is nice that I have a roof over my head, how I have something to eat, and how I am loved. I just have been grinding it out of late. My brain won't stay in pain too long, it will go through a list of emotions and thoughts to get out of pain. I finally found something that I was missing. I need to be more enthusiastic about my progress in life and my growth as a person. I see what hard work and determination will do for you all around me, I don't need to be so glum. So I did what I could to make my body language better. I also researched and spoke about it to people. So I made command for me tomorrow morning and a prayer. I will be more Enthusiastic about my day because my life is really good. I know I am getting better as a person by the way I am praying and acting of late. I am really trying to be of service, now I need to focus on being Enthusiastic about the whole process and then the process will be more fun. The main way I can change my state of mind into enthusiasm is to make hand movements and to really give myself to whatever I am doing. This topic is complicated and I think I am the only one that knows what I am talking about. I brought it up and everyone seemed pretty glum that I talked too, they just droned about how they worked and I was like. THERE HAS TO BE A BETTER WAY TO DO THIS. More enthusiasm has to be attained to keep the passion growing in whatever you are doing.

Moving forward.

I am proud that I played high school football. That was lots of work! Jason Gregory was a man beast! Graduating from college was very hard as was keeping a job at Blockbuster. I am also proud that I took steps to go to Ireland, Vegas, Spring Training, and other things. It has been an awesome ride in sobriety so far as well. I am proud to help the addict section of the population and it is always rewarding to help people on that first step to recovery. Now to what I want out of life. The first thing is I want to grow spiritually, mentally, and get stronger physically. I can grow small each day and it really adds up. I want to travel to New York. Washington DC. Germany and Australia. I also would like to go to England and punch Hugh Grant in the mouth. I really would love to invest more time helping people, and even more time getting people off their butts and into the seats of sporting events. I look forward to really seeing Sporting KC next year to see where they go from here and I want to watch as much Nascar as possible. I like the Mavricks and I hope to continue to go to games. I want to see more KU games and I want to play video games. It sounds really weird to waste more time on video games, but they have always been a passion of mind. In fact Kris Von German came over the other day and we played Fifa 2012. It was rewarding and it is a good way to connect to my fellow gaming nerds. I wouldn't mind getting a blu-ray player or a ps3 one of these days. Oh that brings me to another thing I am proud of. My 40 inch TV WITH SOUNDBAR AND SUBWOOFER. It sounds ok and looks great in HD. I am proud to have really put in effort with my grandparents and with my mentor Jamie. I really learned alot. I really leared alot from "The Elder Statesmen" we have real-talk all the time about giving back and how just a small amount of time with kids is rewarding. I have to work really hard to link pleasure with hanging out with kids. Kids are so damn annoying that I can barely stand them, but I know I really have to rearrange my brain to somehow get me to enjoy them. It is important to enjoy kids because what is the point of me going through the pain if I can't teach the next generation ANYTHING. I really would like to be of service and never grow. On my last day on earth I still want to get better moment by moment. I kind of beat ideas into the ground on this blog. I don't think you can write, talk, or think about where you are headed. I have a clear focus on what I want out of life and I feel that the more I write and talk about it the more it gets imprinted in my mind and Sub-Mind.

Freak out or be calm and rational.

My 1% growth came today at the beginning. I am awesome at being stupid sometimes. I took my phone charger at work but left it hanging out one of my doors. I am lucky that the charger part didn't scratch the jeep. The charger part was destroyed though. So I get to work..I had a minor freak out because now I have to decide when I am going to get this charger back. I can't be out of a phone because I have too many cute cat videos to look at! So my 1% growth today came from staying calm. Deciding not to use all my battery life on cat videos until I could get a new charger proved valuable. The rest of work was just a struggle. I have a tough time staying motivated. My main motivation is it would be a pain in the ass being out of a job. I am doing a better job at not procrastination. I used to just wait until the final minute to get everything done, but lately I realize that every minute every minute inch counts. It is a dog eat dog world out there and I am wearing milkbone underwear. So the last couple days have really kicked my ass but I have did my best to really grow, accept some pain, not bitch, and get it my all.... I am pretty happy with myself. After work I went over to Adam and Johns house and we watched KU lose. It was crappy but it looks like Mizzou is going to be a good basketball team. So that is great. I am looking forward already to putting this year behind me. I know I have planted the seeds of hard work and I am going to be harvesting the best days of my life going forward. I just really have to keep it simple...be of service, go the extra mile, work as hard as you can and then alittle bit more, and grow as a person.

Monday

Monday I was presented the fact that a person that worked with me had decided that he didn't want to work for the company anymore. It presented me the challenge to pick up some of his work and to really do the most with the situation. When nature gives you a great day to plant nachos. You have to really plant a lot of tortilla chips of success in the ground so once harvest season comes around you have plenty of nachos bell grandes to share with everyone. So I asked God for help to do the most of the situation, step up, and really take advantage of the opportunity to show my worth. If there is a thing I do ok at it is showing up. So I made it through the day and it wasn't good. I ate a bunch of crap just trying to feel good enough to make it through the hours. After work I felt so warn out and my brain was thinking good thoughts, I was just out of gas. I was able to be somewhat of service talking to people and going over to Adams to watch the Chiefs game. There are a couple people out there today that are lost. They aren't my friends, but I know them...and I know what they are going through. So I have gratitude I don't have fear or lack of direction like these folks. What good is having all the toys you want if you have too much fear and depression to use them. I am not depressed at all. I have the knowledge that yesterday I grew in 1% and I also grew in stick-to-it-ness. People don't go the first mile in this world let alone the extra mile, but I am willing to go through that extra mile and take some pain. In the end I know God will provide me more than enough nachos for me.

KU plays tonight, Chiefs and Mavs Suck. Sporting KC of season, Griffons are doing awesome, haven't seen Mizzou play yet, Penguins are locked out.

Who has two thumbs and wants to grow today? This guy!

Saturday

Saturday was off the chain. Missouri Western beat Northwest, I hope finally one of my teams, and frankly the only team I support with monster dollars...maybe finally this team is going to turn into a title contender? So I was happy about that. I then went to the Missouri Mavericks game and they bounced back and won 5-2. They seem to be slow as crap but whatever. I then went out with Adam and Jason and pushed myself to talk and crack jokes all night. Of course I talked to the hottest girls. The line of the night was when this girl wasn't being nice I told her "Don't worry, when I see you again you will get a chance to make make a better impression." She laughed... It is important for me to get out and talk to people instead of just sitting inside. That way when I work I am constantly getting better at communicating. It is hard for me to not talk all weekend..not improve on meeting people, then get out in the business world and just get the ball rolling. I like to be able to put it in mind to get better at speaking slowly and clearly. So my 1% improvement yesterday came from communication, courage to speak to people, and 1% more fun for watching Mo West beat that ass.

Friday

Friday I just chilled. I thought about going out and getting my 1% growth in by hitting on girls, but I decided I didn't need to be out when I was tired and grumpy. Whenever I am out and grumpy I have a habit of insulting a girl and calling her a slore. I watched three episodes of Boardwalk Empire. There was plenty of nudity and explosions. Northwest vs. Missouri Western is this weekend. It will be a barn burner.

1% more each day

I try to go 1% more each day so I can keep growing. The easiest is to walk further each day, or try to eat 1% more veggies...the hardest is to humble yourself 1% each day. I would like to touch on how big yesterday was. Sporting KC lost but it was an awesome night for the crowd, my friends, and my mom and dad were out there. I am a lucky man that my family can make it out to sports events with me. It is a simple way to do family time and get my sports time in. Two birds with one stone. That leads me to a story with Byrd with two keystones..but we won't go into that right now. So it was nice that all my friends were out at the game and it wasn't a total crap night weather wise. Also the crowd was top class. Everyone I think got home safely. I try my best to get people out of their house and out to experience things that I find awesome. People need push to get out of their comfort zone. Christmas is coming up and I vow to take pictures of things I donate or canned goods I give away. I will not lie, it feels good to give away things and it feels even better to brag about them. I suppose in time I won't brag about what I give or even tell anyone, but I am not there spiritually yet. I found one hole in my game today. I love to wallow in my own shit sometimes. It comes when I don't want to work, get a haircut, go to the DMV. I need to let that crap go and call someone and change my state. I like to hold on to that pity because it feels good to complain and take a warm bath in that emotion. That will keep me from leading the life I want though because I won't take action and won't give out a vibe that will lead to success. Negative vibes = negative results period.

Wednesday

Wednesday was fun. I went to work then out to Chili's to see the worst service of all time! I had a great job learning about how far the Chili's is from being a good place to eat out at the legends. Sporting KC then played after that and won the game, but lost the series. Next year have to get more strikers. Mom, Dad, V-Foundation, Byrdman, Me, Matt, Adam were all at the game. Felt good to have family and friends out there having a good time.

Tuesday

Tuesday was ok. I started the day like...ugh I am going to have to listen to idiots all day about election, but that is why God invented a zune...so I can blast Better than Ezra on it all day. I did the same commands and prayers I always do. "Everyday in everyway I get better and better" I am big on not thinking in negative terms. Like I try not to say to myself "Please don't screw up" cause then I always screw up. I use self talk like "Give me the right action" or something positive. Anyway my lesson for myself today is that if I constantly use the word FEAR my brain gets fear somehow. So I came up with "Give me courage" or "God give me courage" it seems to work a bit for me. What I really was needing courage was for is just to give more. There are plenty of harvesters and other things around that I am afraid if I give too much I will have givers remorse. I almost have givers remorse for buying some Jayhawk tickets yesterday for some of my friends. I have this overwhelming passion for giving people canned goods and trying to get people off their asses and out to sporting events. I think sports events are a good place for everyone to meet and talk. There is just something easier about meeting all your friends at a game than going to someones house. I tried my best to get my friends out to the KU game on Monday and I thought at first they weren't there, they were evidently there but I think they forgot about me or whatever. Oh well the action was still the same. I am supporting student athletes and supporting people getting off their asses and out to the game. I am also supported my work I thik because they had discounted tickets to the KU game.


The Byrdman and I had a great time at the KU game. I saw my nephew and he was off the chain. I saw my sister and ben. My sister was awesome enough to drop us off at the game. KU looked sloppier than Marv Alberts tupee, but it is all good. Bill Self will get them going. What a blessing it is to have The Byrdman up here. I always have this idea in my mind that I am going to be an elite player, and in some ways it is already true. I already go to the best concerts and have the best seats to all the sports events I want. I really need to travel and get the Black Infinati with black wheels that I want as well. I figured out why I want to be elite style wealthy. I just want to be significant. The good news is there are other ways to be significant other than just being wealthy, being wealthy just happens to be the most fun to play with in my mind. Tomorrow is SKC. I hope they win but no matter what we are US OPEN CUP CHAMPS and they had a kick ass year. #Carefree where ever we maybe. I have no idea what the future holds and it looks like ticket sales may already be down *GASP* oh well I am sporting til I die.

Random Prayer of the day

I found this prayer and I thought it made more sense to me. "God I pray for not riches, but more wisdom on how to use the gifts you have given me." this makes sense to me just because if you gain wisdom and you have in your mind the riches you already have. Everyday just seems to get better and better. I went to the coffee house tonight with JJ and Adam, and Ryan. I was nice to Ryan and got him involved with some talks about scary movies and video games. I need to be better to all my friends. 1% better every day to everyone and hell they may even buy me nachos one day. Tomorrow is KU against Washburn. It should be a fine game for KU to kick ass. I think The Byrdman will be going with me. Some other guys will probably be there as well. It will go well and I am sure to grow and learn alot about KU and myself.

Sunday

Without The Chiefs to ruin my day I turned my hope to Sporting KC. They went on to suck as well. I hope we can turn it around when we play on Wednesday, but Houston just knows how to play SKC. Need a huge effort from the home crowd. I went out to livestrong sporting park to support the team and I was proud of myself for going out there. I wanted to sit on my ass, but decided that I need to be out there since they have played well this year. GO SKC!!! The rest of the day and night was pretty good. I cleaned and I watched nascar. Jimmy Johnson is awesome. I keep pushing myself in all area's of my life and I try to get 1 percent better each day. I keep on writing in my journal and I can see progress each day. Each day I try to love more, try to have more fun, and try to have more patience. Seems to be working. I have been very blessed in my life and I am excited for what the future brings.

Saturday

I drove back to St. Joseph this weekend. My parents worked really hard to get the home they live in up to date. I was in awe of how much work they put in to the place and it looks great. I think there is something about replacing carpet and other items that takes some stress of of your mind and your body. A new carpet and a new couch is just easier on the eyes and places a positive feeling in your belly. So good for them mom and dad you've earned greatness! Speaking of greatness Mo West is doing awesome this year. They are my team and I think their QB is awesome sauce. He is big, fast, and can throw the pigskin. Michael Hill their RB is having a big year. NFL Player Greg Zurlien was also at the game and gave the team a boost. After that game I drove to watch the Mavericks play Hockey. It was a packed house and they didn't play well. There was a great Atmosphere in that game. I then drove home and was warn out. I spent 4 hours in the Jeep total that day. I am looking forward to seeing Mo West play some more, seeing the Mavs some more, and maybe checking out the Mo-West basketball team. A great day for a sports fan like me for sure. I also got to watch a bit of Notre Dame. They are pulling out tight wins this year that is for sure.

The Chiefs are awesome and a 50 cent reference

Today I woke up like at 6 to be at work because we are busy with the storms out east. I thought about the 50 cent quote. Someone once asked 50 cent... YO 50 when do you sleep? He replied "Sleep? Sleep are for those people that are broke!" So anyway I am not broke and nor do I attend to ever be broke. What I do plan on doing is putting some money in savings accounts, maybe a cd, then long range investments and of course my 401k and maybe a roth IRA. I am very focused on making the most out of my hard earned money. I have fun just thinking about money and buying things. Napolean Hill once said that if you are feeling depressed write out your perfect house. My perfect house isn't a house at all, it is a nicely furnished apartment down on Westport, one that I could go see the action with the ladies and the bro's doing their thing down there. Plus I love broadway Cafe coffee. Other than my Jeep I would also like a black wheels on a black infiniti sports car, I would like the largest TV with decent sound, maybe a ps3. I also like SPORTING KC-ROYALS-KU-CHIEFS-MAVERICK tickets. I would also like to go to all my favorite concerts. So there is tons of stuff that I can spend my money on. Hell I might even go see you MR 50 CENT. The Chiefs suck really bad. This weekend I get to go watch Mo West, they are playing awesome this year. I have been talking to a girl I like a bit, we will see where that goes. I might even write more about it because it is such a long range shot that I mine as well have fun with it. I will leave you with this final thought. If you get better 1% a day on something at the end of the year you will be 100000% better at everything. This is a fact.

Deep thoughts

Everyday in everyway I am getting better and better. I eat funyons more awesome everyday!

Tuesday

Thanks to the storms I will be working lots of hours this week. It gives me a chance to make some money and to really grow and improve my work ethic. Today was a long day. I was able to get over to Lawrence to watch KU play. I am not even a KU fan, but it is the closest thing I have to the NBA near here so I will watch them. Bill Self walked right past me and for the 5 seconds I saw him I estimate that he earned 3 thousand dollars. Ben Mclamore and a Radical Dunk. I think this team will win another big 12 championship and maybe get to the sweet 16. They are pretty good, but I think this year the sum of the parts is greater than the whole, where last year the whole was greater than the some of the parts. Ok I have no idea what I am saying. Withey, Releford, Kevin Young will all be good players. I always have a journal rocking through the day and there was a GIANT STAR next to 2 pm. At 2 pm today I wanted to quit, I was out of gas, I went and stretched and laid on the floor and I knew that I could only do two things pray and get myself to think right. So I started to think to myself "I CAN DO THIS, I CAN GET THROUGH THIS DAY" I thought that over and over and stretched some more and got the day done. So anyway I have realized that I really have no control over so many things over my life. I can however talk to myself and think good thoughts. For my good thoughts I had enough energy to get to Lawrence and witness some basketball.

Sunday and Monday

Sunday was ok. I thought I did pretty good for the energy I had. I was able to watch most of nascar. Jimmy Johnson won. The Giants won the world series and the Chiefs won the world series of sucking. The late game for MLS was pretty good. Galaxy VS. Seattle. KU baseball plays Emporia tomorrow and I am going to try to go to that. I thought I did everything I could to try to keep in contact with a lady I met on Saturday. She laughed at what I wrote on facebook, so I will keep in touch with her, but I don't expect much. Seems like the same thing happened to one of my friends. So it was a pretty good set of days. I love to listen to motivational speakers. They really give me ideas on how to push myself and my spirituality to the next level. When I have any amount of time I try to ask myself "How do I make myself better?" An easy answer to that is to pray, since there is nothing bigger than God. I listened to lots of Napolean Hill today. He was the man when it came to using your brain to be wealthy. The fact is that I wake up in Johnson County every day. I am very wealthy compared to the rest of the world. The most important thing I have is a good library, good mentors, and the internet. The rest of the week I am just going to try to do more of the same. Bring some energy, passion, and to grow.

Red Hot Chili Peppers

Friday was pretty chill. I played some nba2k12 and my player is getting better. He still sucks right now. He will get better or I will delete him. Saturday was the Red Hot Chili Peppers concert. They exceeded my expectations. The stage they brought had plenty of moving parts and wild ass animations. Bryce, Sheree, and Ben with me. So it was nice to have some family time. They sounded awesome as well. Sprint Center offered me the finest meats and cheeses. So it was a good time and I was glad I went. They were one of my favorite bands growing up and I figured they may come out and be weak, old and feeble. They were non of the above and it was time well spent.

Focus and Finish

I went out to Livestrong Yesterday and bid farewell to the regular season. I didn't say long because I was tired and it takes awhile to get out there and back. SKC played well passing the ball with ease. Nags got knocked out early and Jacob Peterson came in and promptly scored. I thought SKC looked dominant all game. Peterson Joseph made a start and he is the only guy on this team that can create 1V1 I don't think he will play in the playoffs. So SKC finishes first in the Eastern Conference. Top of the Table. They have no playmakers so they may get beat in the playoffs but it is all good. Next year the play in Concacaf, US OPEN TOURNAMENT, and MLS. So the Sporting Train keeps rollin'

Regular Season Farewell

Tonight is the last regular season game for Sporting KC. It has been a great year. A US CUP title. A chance to win the eastern conference. They now play in concacaf. There were a few dog days in there in the middle, but they made it to 60 points and are champions. Next year SKC will probably lose Roger Espinoza because he has played awesome in the olympics and for his home team. Sad to see him go but our midfield will be O.K. I don't expect them to repeat this kind of year next year, but I hope they can keep Livestrong Sporting Park rocking. The playoffs are a crapshoot, I think they have as good of a chance as any, but their lack of a true playmaker at forward will probably cost them. The Red Bulls have Henry and when they play like crap he can still find a way to get a goal. So anyway good season Sporting KC thank you for the hard works folks over there, and thanks for me for working hard and spending a bunch of money on this team.

Monday

Monday was one of the worst days I have had for awhile. I felt like crap and I was sore from what I think was two days ago. I was sore from walking like 10 miles on Saturday and carrying ice on Sunday. I made it though after some ice packs, trying to stay positive, and by bitching and moaning to myself. Tuesday has already started out better. I am less sore and I am in a better mood. The Giants win yesterday was epic and fun. I hope either the Giants or the Tigers win the world series. Sporting KC plays on Wednesday wrapping up a long and wonderful year. Go Sporting. Today I am just trying to take care of myself so I can keep going towards my goals. I hope to eat decently and continue to walk and I know it will pay dividends in the future. The Chiefs start Brady Quinn and now it looks like we won't be getting that #1 overall draft pick because we are going to win 5 games now. Yuck.

The Weekend

This weekend I would rank as a Solid B. I would rank Saturday as an A and Sunday as a C if I was giving a grade. Friday was just a throw away day although I did participate in some conversation with friends. Saturday was just a day I wanted to make sure I had fun during. I workout, work, and stress enough, I wanted to let my hair down alittle bit because Nascar and my dad don't come around very much. The day started with me going to tanners to get some wings. I love their wings and I am now going to get them more often even if they are pricey. I also got a BBQ sandwich. So my day started out a bit expensive as those 3 things were 24 dollars. I then went and got "The Byrdman" I saw "The V-Foundation" and "The Victorian" for a couple minutes and I took 2 cookies and got out of that place fast so I could get to Nascar Nationwide. I got to Nationwide and there wasn't too much craziness going on in the parking grass area, I then met up with my dad. We listened to a couple songs by some country singer and we headed in. I was bummed to only see the Nationwide race but I did see Tony Stewart and Jeff Gordon do a couple laps. The Nationwide race was very entertaining and had plenty of action. It was a wild finish as Ricky Stenhouse Jr was the only ass pony to carry enough gas to the finish. Byrd and I then went to watch Sporting KC. They tied but I had fun. Sarah, Laura, Molly and a sneak showing of Soony Saad was there. That day was awesome and I was going to push my luck and try to go to westport or something, but I decided to get my rest instead. Sunday was the picnic. It was ok, it just feels like work. Raymond is an awesome guy and it is awesome that we have a cool sober get together once a year. I did my part and we had a good time. It is important to me to do service work like cooking for events or doing whatever. I have two hands and two legs and I need to give to society because it is the right thing to do. I have been building my work ethic up over time and one of these days I will blog about building Character. I am lucky to have character people in my life with of course Jesus, my dad, Raymond, Bob, and so on and so forth. So anyway a fun weekend all and all and of course I am glad I am a white male with enough money to afford to do fun things.

Thursday Morning

Wednesday was pretty good. I hung out with Raymond. We talked more about focusing on other people and being of service. That will help take some of the stress off of me during the days. Overall I have felt really good, I am working towards my goals and it is already paying dividends. I try to eat right and go for walks and I feel like I have decent energy. A good example I feel of how working out helps with energy was when I went to "The Elder Statesmans" wedding. I went down there and I made sure to keep up my walking schedule. I came back and I still had enough energy for me and "The V-Foundation" to go to the Sporting KC game. I feel it is so important that you focus on results of your work so you generate emotions that tie to the work. I call this anchoring. Instead of tying "Oh damnit here we go with this walking bullshit" I try to anchor the feeling of "Oh Damnit here we go with this Sporting KC bullshit!" One of my goals is to give back to the world. I am trying to find a balance between giving and having guilt or remorse for giving. I am not going to lie. I give because it feels good , I can give myself video games SKC tickets Chiefs tickets, but nothing feels as good as giving to random people. That is not me being an awesome person, it just provides me another reason to get through my day. My favorite to give to is various alcohol/drug places. One thing I am semi excited about is I bought NBA2k12. It is last years version, but I am excited non-the-less. Race weekend is this weekend and I am not excited yet, but I am sure by time the engines get fired up I will be fired up.

USMNT WINS

Livestrong was rocking and the USA played awesome yesterday. I couldn't be there but I did host Kris Von G his Fiance Laura and Molly. We had a great time and even played X-Box afterwards. In my personal life still trying to raise my work ethic and be a better person. Most people seem to like and respect me and the fact I have people that come over to watch soccer seems to support that. It could be the fact I have a 40 inch Magnavox with subwoolfer attachment so I can here Graham Zusi's Bomb Thumper corner kicks in stereo.

Monday night

Monday was a Monday indeed. Just working to put some money in my pocket so I can spend it on wings and diet coke. I am looking forward to the US NATIONAL TEAM playing tonight. They will be playing at livestrong. Zusi will score a goal sending the home faithful into a frenzy. I saw my nerd girl yesterday at black dog, I am making progress. What I have in mind today is to have the mindset to work hard and stay positive. Work is the key to success. I saw Adam and Kris out yesterday, but I was pretty much fried for the day. So I only hung out for about an hour. It was a good start to the week overall. I will still be looking for ways to have more fun and to get better at life.

Monday Morning

After a night at the Black Dog I woke up Monday in a decent mood. I just took a shower and now I am blogging. I want to continue to get better at the things I do today. I can look for ways to make things better and make myself and the people around me happier. In sports news the US MENS NATIONAL SOCCER team plays on Tuesday. I an excited to see how that shakes out. Zuuuuuuusi. So one day at time for me this week and I am going to remain focused so I can have the best life I can.

Black Dog and other randoms

On Sunday after I watched the chiefs getting their ass kicked I made it home. I was tired and I laid down. My apt was a mess because I hadn't cleaned it. I ususally work really hard to clean it before people come over on Sunday, but I decided I needed to hang out with my dad so we can make fun of the Chiefs losing this weekend. I had fun at tanners, their 50 cent wings were awesome. They had these wings that were called grilled which tasted like churches chicken fried then cooked on a grill for a second or two. Damn they were good. Anyway I went out to black dog that night and there was a girl there that always plays some sort of board game there. She has video game tatoos all over and she is my speed. Anyway it was bugging me that she is always playing this game where I can't get her number, luckily I got tired of the whole situation and I just asked her to exchange her numbers. She seems very wierd and time will tell if she will even hang out with me, but it felt good to take action moving forward from the one girl I am trying move on from. Overall I don't think there was one more thing this weekend that I could have done to make myself better. As long as I continue to ask the question "How can I make myself better?" then following through with action when the answer comes...I think I can make my life better and better. I am already overwelmed sometimes at my friends, family, and life in general. I am still moving towards buying a house/or living in house. I also want to make 100,000 dollars and of course I want a lady that likes to play video games and do nerdy stuff with me. So it feels good to get my goals out again on my blog so I can be honest about if I am working towards a life I love or just not doing crap.

Sunday

Yesterday I spent the night with two lovely ladies from the Bronx. They were busting my balls (Bowals bronx impersonation) all night. They were off the chain. I don't know if they were funny, or the fact they were so rude and different shocked me into laughing, it was a good day though. Sunday I woke up and went for a walk then drove to Platte City to watch the Chiefs get destroyed by the Buccs. The Chiefs as a franchise are aweful. Yay! The US MENS national team is in town and I look forward to them playing on Tuesday. Right now I am enjoying The 49ers and the Giants. The Giants are winning. The baseball playoffs have been intense as of late. I guess I am forced to hope that Detriot wins because Detroit is a town of great failure and disease.

Just a side note about Detriot. The Original script for RoboCop said they needed to build a city where it looked like a nuclear bomb went off and there was crime and disease all over the place. So instead of building the set for that they just decided to shoot the film in Detriot. So all is well as RoboCop went on to win 14 Academy awards including best picture.

Friday Saturday morning

Friday was ok. I watched boardwalk empire. That show is great. Saturday I worked very hard to move my friend JP. We worked HARD. I am watching Mizzou right now. They are not playing well. Tonight my friend KVG speaks infront of people and tomorrow I am going to tanners to watch the Chiefs win.

Friday and this weekend

This weekend is kind of a cluster. I am planning on hanging out with Raymond tonight then maybe work out. Tomorrow I am helping my friend move then my friend is speaking at 8 pm. Sunday is grab bag. I don't know what is going on.

The Rocking Chair Test

When I am old in rocking chair am I going to regret something I did or didn't do. Like today I went to the dentist. He recommended a bunch of horse shit that I do. I bought his mouthwash for my gums for 20 bucks and awhile back I bought a brand of electric toothbrush he recommended. When doing the rocking chair test I can say most people wish they took care of their teeth better. So to sum it up I am doing what I can to keep my teeth and my body in good health so I never say "damn I wish I took better care of my self" The toothbrush the dentist recommended does work well. I bought one for my mom because I think it helps keep teeth white with less effort. So take care of your teeth and body people. So you will enjoy your days in your rocking chair.

So as you can tell I went to the dentist today. I also went for a walk. I tried to eat healthy but I snuck in some tostidos. What can I say. I love junk food. I watched some baseball. The baseball seemed exciting but it couldn't hold my interest much. Chiefs this weekend! Brady Quinn is going to have a couple touchdowns as the chiefs march back to 8-8.

Wednesday

Wednesday was more of the same deffered gratification I am used too. Work now recieve pleasure at a later date. I felt pretty good most of the day though. I just have to pray and do the next right thing and everything turns out ok. I wish I was enjoying baseball and football more right now but with the Royals and The Chiefs sucking it is a downer. I am looking forward to some hoops action soon. Raul Ibanez just hit a homerun to tie the game. He pinched hit for A-Rod. That is weird to say the least. The US MENS SOCCER team will be playing at Livestrong on Tuesday. I probably won't go, but I will be watching it on T.V. It will be fun to see Graham Zusi in the Stars and Stripes uniform. I think the Chiefs will win this weekend. Unfortunately Pioli thinks that Cassel is awesome, but the entire world sees that he can't even pass the ball 10 yards. That is probably the first thing I would look for in a quarterback...is his ability to pass the ball. The shitty thing about The Chiefs is they turn the ball over a ton AND they play conservitive. Leave it to a Kansas City team to do something that takes sucking to a whole new level. The NFL is set up to bring everyone back to 8-8 so I am sure the Chiefs will win some games down the stretch. Brady Quinn looked ok with the two passes he threw so maybe we can get a couple wins and make a playoff push. The defense has looked pretty good so far. Kendrick Lewis is coming as well as Glenn Dorsey. So we shall see my friends.


edit Ibanez just hit another homerun

blah

Tuesday. I went to work. I have been busting my ass going through tons of pain and growing. It is paying off a bit as my boss said I did a good job on Monday. My work ethic is getting better as I am getting used to filling my entire day with productive things. I know now that I need to do a better job of stopping bad habits. Anyway I got off work and my eyes felt like they were going to bleed. JJ and I went to Starbucks just to do something different. It was actually a nice change of pace. I then had some food and went for a walk. I have to be honest and be for real for a second. I had positive thoughts all day but I felt like shit. I know I am on my way to a great life, but right now it just seems like everything is so far off. I did like the way I treated people and I liked the fact I went for walk to try to change my state of mind. So tomorrow is a new day. It will probably full of Gods grace as ususal. I am just thankful I made it to work and made it home and that I didn't screw anything up too bad today. I will do a quick gratitude list though to make sure I finish on what I have in my life. My jeep is sweet, my parents are awesome, sister is good, V-Foundation, Byrdman are good. A roof over my head, salads, and toilet paper. I guess my life is actually pretty good.

Monday

I am asking myself some questions this morning. Because questions are powerful. Your brain answers them when you ask them.

How can I make this week better than the last?
Am I going towards my goals?
What have you done for other people today?
How many snack cakes do you intend to eat?
How am I going to get in better shape today?

I am going to laugh more and grow this week. Yes I am going towards my goals. I will hold doors for people and be positive. I will live with passion. I will eat 2 snack cakes. I will go for walks and try to lift weights when I can. I also plan to have fun playing some x-box either tonight or tomorrow. I noticed how much it changed my state of mind from blah to oh ok I am having fun.

Sunday

We are one game closer to never seeing Matt Cassel again. Sporting KC got 1 point. The Royals didn't lose...so pretty good day of Sports. This weekend was pretty good. Adam, JJ, Kris Von German, Molly, Laura all came over to watch sports. They brought me food which was nice of them. They show lots of respect and love for me. I have to say most the people I know are respectful of me these days. I guess it is maturaty, but I just don't get made fun of like I did as a kid. So that is good. I am pretty warn out as I am writing this. This week is going to be another week of learning and work. That is ok with me right now. I would rather be learning and growing and making some dollars than be a broke ass. My goals this week is to treat every moment as valuable.