Weird day

Weird day for sure today. I woke up and I decided to head to 24 hour fitness. Now I have been enjoying walking outside because it is nice out, but I want to make sure I go to 24 hour fitness to do some of the fun stuff there. I decide to do bench press, it sucks, but whatever. I do some triceps...that sucks....sometime lifting is fun, today wasn't one of those days. I get in the hot tub...it was alright. I am like what the hell, why am I in such a bad mood. It is Sunday it is game day. I know sometimes I have things going on in my mind that are sub conscience or even deeper. My only guess is that there is always this nagging feeling that no matter how much I go to the gym, or how much I walk, it is never going to be enough. I know that even if I had a perfect body, perfect girl, perfect everything...that stuff only stays good for awhile. I get my juice by giving back or helping people. I went to Hy-Vee to buy some food for the Chiefs game and I gave some money to the guys asking for money outside there. It was actually knights of columbus that was asking and I got a tootsie roll pop. I went and cooked in the park some meat on a grill and even that was alittle bit crappy. I was like...man what is going to get my mood going better. It was nice out and I did stop and enjoy good weather and a beautiful tree. I went to Adams and I had good food and the chiefs rolled. It was alright and I came home and I could tell I enjoyed the chiefs game. I didn't come out of my bad mood until later on in the night when I told Adam. "I think I lie to myself and say that if I had my own family I would work harder or make better choices, but I think even if I had a family I would still have days like today where I just can't change my mood." He agreed and I felt like that was a nice step because I think everyone is always trying to sell you something to make you feel complete, but it is a lie. Like in the movie Fight Club....YOU ARE ENOUGH...YOU AREN'T YOUR ****ing KAKHIES. I know that from a head to heart level, that who you are isn't what you own or how people react to you. Anyway after I talked to Adam I lightened up and I felt better. I also had massive amounts of black dog coffee, so that probably helped as well.