Tuesday october 13th

Big Win for the Royals yesterday. Today I forgot to take FIFA 2015 back to the library. My day didn't start off good. Traffic was bad, I am always super careful. Nothing would ruin a day faster than an auto accident. I was going through some of my theropy books today. I don't have too much anxiety these days unless I am traveling or unless I am going to teach a class that I am not familiar with the material. I can manage good enough not to pop xanix or to quit all together. I keep moving forward in my development in my mental health. I am glad I can go through anxiety and not quit or fold. I was thinking yesterday how life is like poker, exept you can never fold. You always have to play the hand you are delt and do it with a poker face. I do much better with stress and anxiety when I just try to focus on what I can do and not worry about the outcome. I get scared I am going to freeze up during the class. What I am really scared of is doing bad or struggling and having to keep asking for help. I am sure people don't mind helping because they want to develop me, but I don't feel that in my heart or my gut. I had lots of thoughts about reaping what you sow as well. There has been lots of time I have put in alot of hard work and it comes out like crap, but it is also like that for farmers. Sometimes you plant seeds grow crops and it floods and you start again. That is life. It is your attitude and action that make the diffence between winning and losing.