Monday

I have been in a weird spot this entire winter. My apartment is awesome...looks good...but I just have trouble staying in. I have had high anxiety many times this winter and just have to go for a drive. Today I woke up and really had to get moving. I went to 24 hour fitness and sat in the hot tub. I am turning into my mom. My mom loves hot tubs. Anyway I really had to think where the anxiety was coming from. I think it was my normal B.S. that I deal with and boredom. I started to think about my room mate and I started thinking how I need to work on getting comfortable just hanging out and enjoying movies or video games. There is a psychological technique that I use where I imagine myself from afar and try to be my own friend. I am self-aware to the max so sometimes I can just try to tell myself "Just enjoy your own company" that seems to help. Ok anyway the rest of the day went good. Jason and I watched True Detective. I truly enjoy and savor still hanging out with the guys and watching things. I am enjoying second shift. I am a night owl through and through. I remember staying up until 4 am when I was a teenager. Those were awesome days.