Tuesday

Tuesday I woke up and I felt hungover. I had worked hard then came up to hang out with Andrea. Andrea always has lots of logs on the fire and is always trying to do so much that she gets overwhelmed. That is what it is like for lots of people, but instead of cutting out some of the stuff she just gets overwhelmed for awhile then goes back to work. I was proud that she listened to the mp3's I made on the trip. She dropped the mp3 player I bought in the water, but I knew that if she got some comfort out of the mp3's that it would be worth the time and effort that I put into it. I was pretty upset today as well. I stepped on the scale and I weighted 220 pounds. I just weighed myself at 210 pounds a month ago and I started to count calories. I lost interest in that when work became tougher and I began eating pizza, rice crispy treats, and chicken sandwhiches. So I mean I knew what I was putting in my body and now I am paying the price. I am going to go back to cutting out bread and carbs for today. One day at a time. It is hard to lose weight and keep it off. It is also hard not to beat yourself up. I really focus on work, keeping Andrea's house from burning down, and keeping myself going to AA and staying sober. So I am not going to get too upset about my weight. I still have lots of positives in my life and as long as I keep doing work I will be o.k. I am glad as well I have experience of getting back on the horse and I am glad I at-least care about my weight. I know lots of people completely give up.